A/N: This story is a parody to Total Drama Island, enjoy and no flames please. I do not own Ratchet & Clank.
RATCHET & CLANK
TOTAL DRAMA PLANET
Meet the campers
The scene on holovision shows an island with forests, completely filled with friendly animals and dangerous alien creatures, a crummy old abandoned summer camp, a camp fire and a ship landing pad by the water that surrounded the island.
An alien guy then appeared on the screen standing on the landing pod. He has a human appearance, only with three fingers on each hand, 7 feet tall, black hair, brown eyes, a blue jet jacket with a white pull under it, brown explorer trousers, black sneakers and a blue bracelet on his right wrist.
"Yo dudes!" the alien man greeted to the viewers. "We are coming at you live from Camp Solanio! I am your host, Thomas Mcgyer, dropping season one of the hottest new reality show on holovision, right now!"
Thomas then started walking down the bridge of the landing pod while talking to the viewers: "Here's the deal, 22 campers have signed up to spend 8 weeks on this crummy old summer camp, where they will be competing challenges against each other, then they have to face the judgement of their fellow campers. Every three days, each team will either win a reward, or watch one of their fellow team mates walk down the landing pad of shame, take a ride on the loser space shuttle, he, he, and leave Total Drama Planet, for good!"
The scene changes to Thomas now at a camp fire.
"The camper's fate will be decided here, at the dramatic camp fire ceremonies, where each week, all but one camper will receive a marshmallow." Thomas continued as he ate a marshmallow. "In the end, only one camper will be left standing and will be awarded with cheesy tabloid fame and a small fortune of riches that will probably be blown in a week."
The scene changes back to the landing pod as Thomas continues: "In order to survive, they will have to battle sand sharks, giant toads, amoeboids, leviathans, disgusting summer camp food AND each other. Every moment will be recorded by thousands of cameras situated all over the camp. Who will crumble under the pressure? Find out here, right now, on Total…Drama…PLANET!"
(Theme song: I wanna be famous - Total Drama Island intro)
The scene shows Camp Solanio with lights and cameras coming out from all over the place.
The scene moves through the camp, passing by Thomas sitting on his chair, then goes up the top of the one thousand foot high cliff and jumps down into the safe zone in the shark infestaded water.
The scene shows Qwark swimming under water and suddenly one of the shareks bites his butt, causing him to let out a bubbly scream. His bubbles come out from the surface, where Angela and Kid Nova were sitting on Angela's surf board, having a romantic moment, only to be ruined by Qwark's bubbles.
An alien egle the catches a fish and flies away with it, but then drops the fish somewhere in the forest. In the forest, Fred was enjoying peace with nature, but the fish that the eagle dropped fell in the scene causing the animals to attack Fred.
Fred runs around, with the animals all over him, screaming. Not too far away, Dr. Nefarious laughed at Fred's misfortune while Lawrence stared at him, sweat dropping.
Cortney Gears and Tawlyn are on a life craft, having a cat fight, but gets inturropted when they fall down the waterfall. By the water fall, Skid was performing martial arts, when Skrunch swings in and crashes on to Skid and they both crash on to the confessional booth, causing Lucy to be thrown out of it, before she could use the toilet paper.
In the main loge, Grand Robot Chef was preparing a disgusting meal, for Vernon and Eugene, who were tighten up in ropes, shacking in fear. Close by was Helga and Al arm wrestling, and Helga wins.
By the beach, Merc, Green, Cronk and Zephyr were doing a shooting contest by shooting down flying bottles. At the water, the seagle with the elastic around it's head was swimming and sees a shark catching a fish, then a tentacle comes out of the water and drags the seagle into the water.
At the landing pad, Clank was showing off his skills by spinning flaming branches, mixing them with his Secret Agent Clank moves, and tosses them into the air.
The scene changes to the camp fire pit at night, where Ratchet and Sasha are having a romantic moment, only to be ruined by Qwark, who was bruised from the shark attack. Both Ratchet and Sasha, as well as the rest of the campers, stare at him in horror, except Thomas and Nefarious, who were laughing at him.
The screen zoom out of the planet and then moves up to a floating screen that said "RATCHET & CLANK: TOTAL DRAMA PLANET" on it.
(Theme song ends)
The scene changes back to Thomas still standing on the landing pod.
"Welcome back to Total Drama Planet folks!" Thomas greeted the viewers. "Okay then, let's all meet our first 11 campers! We told them that they would be spending their summer on a 5 star resort, so if you notice them all seem a little K.O.ed, that's probably why."
Thomas looks up and sees a space shuttle entering the planet's atmosphere and flies toward the island. The shuttle then slows the speed down and lands on the landing pod, then the door opens and a certain yellow lombax wearing a brown pilot helmet, brown rubber gloves and green dunges, and a certain small green eyed robot, both carrying their luggage, walk out from the shuttle before it flew away out of the planet's atmosphere.
"Ratchet! Clank! Whazzup my bros!" Thomas greeted them.
"Yo, Thomas Mcgyer! Great to finally meet you man!" Ratchet half fived Thomas.
"Um Ratchet?" Clank called.
"What is it Clank?" Ratchet asked.
"This place doesn't look like a 5 star resort." Clank said.
"Ya, you see, telling you guys that this was a 5 star resort, was all an attempt to get you guys into the contest." Thomas explained. "You are all actually going to stay in this old abandoned summer camp."
"Summer camp? Where there's no technology?" Ratchet asked.
"You got it." Thomas said.
"That's…AWESOME!!" Ratchet shouted.
"Huh?" Clank looked confused.
"I love summer camp; I haven't been to one since I was a kid!" Ratchet said.
"You're making that up right?" Clank asked.
"No, it's true." Ratchet insisted.
"Okay, break it up you two." Thomas shouted and they stopped arguing.
"Whatever." Ratchet and Clank said as they both walked over to the other side of the landing pod, where they put their luggage there.
Next, another shuttle flies over and drops off the next contestant: a certain green humanoid alien who's a pro hover boarder.
"Skid McMarxx, welcome!" Thomas greeted.
"Hey Thomas, how's it goin'?" Skid half fived Thomas, and then he looks around him. "Hey, are you sure this is the right place? Where's the hover board course?"
"Yo dog, this is it, Camp Solanio!" Thomas said and Skid just walked over to the other end with his luggage.
"Looked a lot different in the application board." Skid whispered looking around when he saw the space duo. "Hey little dudes, you guys are here too?"
"Hey Skid." Ratchet greeted.
"Greetings, Skid." Clank greeted as well.
"Yeah, we're here too." Ratchet said.
"Great!" Skid said happily.
Then another shuttle flies by and drops off a certain brown female cazar in a purple body suit, carrying her luggage.
"Hey Sasha, how's it going?" Thomas asked.
"You mean we are staying here?" Sasha asked looking around.
"No, YOU are staying here, my apartments is on the other side, that way." Thomas explained with a laugh.
"I did NOT sign up for this!" Sasha said annoyed.
"Actually you did." Thomas showed the contract to prove it.
Sasha grabs them and rips them in half. "Not anymore!" she said with a smirk.
"The great thing about lawyers is they make lots of copies!" Thomas smirked back, showing one of the copies of the contract.
Sasha frowns. "I'm NOT staying here!" she said grabbing her luggage ready to leave.
"Good, hope you can fly and survive in space, cuz your ride, just left!" Thomas laughed as Sasha looked up and saw her shuttle leaving the planet's atmosphere.
"Jerk." Sasha mumbled as she walked over to the other contestants. "You guys too?" she asked.
"Yeah, don't worry, you'll enjoy summer camp, like I did when I was a kid." Ratchet said comforting her.
"Well, okay." Sasha smiled.
"That's the spirit!" Ratchet said.
Then the next shuttle flies down to the landing pod and drops off another contestant before leaving. This one was a robot pop star chick.
"Alright! Our pop star chick, Courtney Gears, is here!" Thomas said.
"Hey Thomas! Just direct me to my dressing room, cause I'm ready to sing to the entire galaxy!" Courtney said in excitement.
"Yeah, about that…" Thomas said.
"Hmm?" Courtney looked confused.
"That was a way to get you into the contest, you are actually going to spend 8 weeks in this crummy old summer camp." Thomas explained indicating the camp in the distance.
"SAY WHAT??" Courtney demanded in shock. "SUMMER CAMP!? 8 WEEKS!? I GOTTA GET OUT OF HERE!!"
"Sorry, but your ride has left a long time ago." Thomas said, while Ratchet, Clank, Skid and Sasha struggled not to laugh. "Now get over to the other contestants and wait there."
"I can't believe this; I'm going to rust in a crummy old summer camp along with these squeashies." Courtney walked over to them with her luggage.
"You know, I kind of pity her." Ratchet whispered to the others.
"Me too." Clank agreed.
"Yeah, even though she turned me into a robot during the Dr. Nefarious incident." Skid said.
"Yeah, maybe we should just give her a chance." Sasha said.
Next, another shuttle appeared and dropped off the next contestant before it flew out of the atmosphere. This time it's a certain large robot woman, who is a fitness trainer.
"Helga! Hey! Glad you could make it!" Thomas greeted her.
"Hmm, so, the new fitness course happens to be a summer camp?" Helga asked.
"You got it." Thomas said.
"HAHA, perfect! That way I can train my pupils without mercy and make them tougher!" Helga laughed satisfied as she walked over to the other contestants.
"Uh, great." Thomas said.
"Hey, how do you all do?" Helga greeted the others.
"Hi Helga." Everyone but Courtney greeted her.
"Hey, why the long face there princess?" Helga demanded the pop star, who didn't pay attention to her.
"She's bitter because she thinks she's going to rust here at the camp." Sasha explained.
"Oh, I see." Helga said.
They look up and see another shuttle land, dropping off three kids, before it flew away. They are brothers and sister, one was a chubby boy, one was a nerd boy and another was an energetic girl. These three used to be spokesmen on Dreadzone.
"Vernon, Eugene and Lucy, welcome to your new home for the next eight weeks!" Thomas greeted them and indicated the camp.
"Look guys, it's a summer camp!" Vernon shouted in excitement.
"Cool! I've always wanted to go to summer camp!" Eugene said excited as well.
"Me too!" Lucy said excited too.
Laughing with joy, the three kids grabbed their luggage and rushed over to the other contestants. Thomas looked at them greeting the other contestants, dumb fold at this, but whatever.
The next shuttle appears and drops of the next contestant before leaving. He's an orange overweight super geek humanoid alien, with his right arm and side of his head replaced by robot parts.
"Big Al, hey!" Thomas half fived him.
"Hey there Thomas, it is great to be…here?" Al looked around and saw he was at an island with a summer camp. "Say, this doesn't look like a genius appreciation party."
"Nope, this is your new home, for the next 8 weeks!" Thomas explained.
"Huh? So you tricked me into coming here?" Al demanded.
"You and everyone else over there." Thomas indicated the other contestants.
"Ratchet! Clank! Hey!" Al grabbed hi luggage and rushed over to them.
"Hey Al, good to see ya!" Ratchet greeted.
Then the next shuttle appears and drops off two more contestants and flies out of the planet's atmosphere. The first one is a huge human like alien with three fingers, wearing a green super hero's suit, with a small antenna on top, and the second one is a one eyed alien monkey.
"Hello citizens!" the man greeted the other contestants, while the monkey greeted in his own language.
"Captain Qwark! Skrunch! Welcome to Total Drama Planet!" Thomas half fived them.
"My pleasure, it is great to be here! Come my monkey sidekick!" Qwark said as he and the monkey picked up their luggage and walked over to the other contestants.
"Hey, you guys are here as well?" Qwark asked them.
"Ho, ho, if it isn't my favourite pupil!" Helga said.
"Hey Helga!" Qwark greeted and then saw Ratchet. "Oh hey Ratchet, I didn't know you were participating as well!"
"Uh, yeah, I didn't know you would come either." Ratchet said.
"Well what a coincidence, I hope you will be on my team!" Qwark said.
"Oh I sure hope so." Ratchet said sarcastically, but Qwark didn't realise that.
Clank and Skrunch were talking with each other in monkey language. The kids watched amazed.
"You understand what he's saying?" Vernon asked Clank.
"Why yes I do." Clank said.
Then the next shuttle appears and drops off two more contestants, before leaving the planet. These two are twin battle bots, who once helped Ratchet during the Dreadzone incident.
"Everyone! Merc and Green have arrived!" Thomas said.
"Hey Thomas! Pleased to finally meet you!" Merc half fived him.
"Me too, we saw you on that hover board race on holovision, you were awesome!" Green said.
"Yeah, nice work man!" Merc said.
"Thanks dudes, I KNEW I rocked that show!" Thomas said proud of himself.
"Hey! I saw that too!" Lucy said. "One of the guys dropped her partner on her head, until they got a new remedy that way."
"Hope that doesn't happen to any of us here." Sasha said.
"Me too." Eugene said.
Merc and Green then picked up their luggage and hovered over to them.
"Hey boss, you here too?" Merc asked.
"Hey Merc, hey green. Yeah I'm here too." Ratchet said.
"Hey Al!" Green greeted the cyborg geek.
"Hey, nice to see you all again too!" Al greeted back.
After all the greeting, the next shuttle appears and drops off the next contestant, before leaving the planet. This one was female and an enveloped specimen of the lombax race from the Bogon Galaxy, (even though it is not known what her species is really called), wearing a dark blue body suit, and her hair tight into a pony tail.
"Hey, what's up Thomas." She greeted holding her surf board.
"Angela Cross, from the Bogon Galaxy, is here!" Thomas said.
"Nice board squeashy." Corteney said in a bored tone. "This isn't Pokitaru ya know?"
"I though we were going to be on a beach." Angela said.
"We are." Thomas indicated a dirty looking part of the beach, where there was a seagle with an elastic stuck around it's head that gets dragged to the sea by a wave.
"Great." Angela sighted.
"Okay that makes-" Thomas gets cut off, because Angela accidentally hit her board on his head, when she was picking up her luggage and walk over to the other contestants. "OW! Darn it! That hurt!" Thomas yelled holding his head in pain.
"Hey everyone." Angela greeted the other contestants.
"Hey Angela! Haven't seen you since the Protopet incident!" Ratchet said.
"Nice to see you again too Ratchet, and you too Clank." Angela greeted them both.
"Hi." Clank greeted.
"Um, so you are Angela Cross, from Megacorp?" Sasha asked.
"Oh, you must be Sasha, the mayor of Metropolis on Kerwan." Angela greeted her, almost hitting her board on some of the other contestants, with her board as she turned and the ducked.
"Dang! Watch the board!" Al shouted angrily.
"Yeah you almost hit us with that!" Marc yelled too.
"Sorry." Angela said turning to them and again almost hit them with the board if they didn't duck in time.
"Whoa! We said watch it!" Green yelled angrily.
"Ooops, double sorry." Angela rubbed the back of her head in embracement.
"Okay, we all met surfer squishy, can we get on with the show please?" Courtney said impatient.
As if on cue, the next shuttle appears and drops off 3 more contestants, then flies out of the planet. One was a young humanoid alien woman, accompanied by two rusty old war-bots who represent respectively the Playstation 3 and the Xbox 360 for the times they argue.
"Tawlyn Apogee and her war-bots, Cronk & Zephyr are here!" Thomas said as he held and kissed Tawlyn's hand.
"Nice to meet you in person Thomas." Talwyn said as she walked over to the other contestants, while Cronk and Zephyr carried her luggage.
"Hey guys!" Ratchet and Clank greeted.
"Hey Ratchet, hey Clank!" Tawlyn greeted them.
"Hey newbies!" Cronk and Zephyr greeted them.
"Hi, you all must be the other contestants." Tawlyn greeted the rest.
"How's it goin'? I'm Skid McMarxx!" Skid shook her hand.
"Nice to meet you Skid." Tawlyn said.
The next shuttle appear to drop off the next contestant and leaves the planet's atmosphere. This one was a small humanoid dog like alien, wearing a green T-shirt and blue shorts, who used to be a gadget engineer for Chairman Drek.
"Our next contestant is Fred!" Thomas said.
"You got a memo about my life threatening allergies?" Fred asked.
"Sure someone did." Thomas said.
"Good." Fred said walking with luggage and looks around. "Uh, is this where we're staying?"
"No, it's your mother's house, and we're throwing a party!" Merc joked.
"Ha, ha, very funny, Mr. battle-bot." Fred said in a bored tone.
The next shuttle appears dropping the next contestant and leaves the planet's atmosphere. This one is a humanoid golden yellow robot with blue eyes and he's a hero who was once a prisoner on Dreadzone.
"Welcome to Total Drama Planet, Kid Nova!" Thomas half fived him.
"Great to be here Thomas!" Kid Nova said as he picked up his luggage and walked over to the other contestants. "Hey there, you all! It's an honour to meet you all, although I can see some of you are people I already know."
"Hey Kid Nova!" Ratchet greeted. "It's been a while since Dreadzone was gone for good."
"Yeah, I still own you and Team Darkstar big time." Kid Nova said.
"Your welcome." Ratchet said.
And then the final shuttle appeared and dropped off the two last contestants before leaving the planet's surface. Everyone gasped in shock and horror to see the tall blue humanoid super villain robot and his robot butler assistant.
"Our final contestants are..." Thomas is iturropted by the other contestants.
"DR. NEFARIOUS!!" the others shouted in shock, well, almost all.
"Yes, Dr. Nefarious and Lawrance!" Thomas said.
"People of the galaxy, it is I, Dr. Nefarious, here to reclaim my title as the the galaxy's most dangerous super villain and to make his come back to turn the entire stupid and squishy organic life forms into robots!" the robot laughed maniacally.
"Yeah, about that…" Thomas said.
"Huh? What do you mean?" Nefarious demanded.
"You are not here to make your come back, you are actually going to spend 8 weeks in this crummy old summer camp." Thomas said.
"WHAT!?" Nefarious demanded.
"Yep, you will be here during 8 weeks, just like everyone else over there." Thomas said indicating the other contestants.
"RRRRRRRAAAAAA-" Nefarious' system crashed from his anger and the soap opera known as 'Lance and Janice' began to play.
"Ah, my favourite part of the job." Lawrance said calmly as he slapped behind Nefarious' head, returning him to normal.
"-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGG!! I DON'T BELIEVE THIS!!" Nefarious continued yelling.
"Alright, that's enough." Thomas said. "It's time for a group photo, for the promos! Everyone to the end of the landing pad!"
All the 22 contestants walk over to the end of the landing pad as they all make their poses for the photo. Thomas hops onto a floating platform, while holding a camera, and backs away from the group to take a better picture of the group.
"Okay, everyone ready?" Thomas asked. "Okay, good, here goes! 1…2…3!"
He takes the picture, but it was black. "Ooops, forgot to take the lance cap." He said as he opened it. "Okay, hold that pose everyone! 1…2…- Oh wait, just gotta adjust the camera and-"
"Come on man, my face is starting to freeze!" Tawlyn called impatient.
"Okay, everyone say 'Solanio'!" Thomas shouted about to take the picture.
"Solanio!" Everyone says and suddenly, the end of the landing pad they were standing on fell apart and they all fell in the water.
The picture showed everyone falling into the water. Thomas then hide it with a naughty chuckle, while he watched everyone swim out of the water and onto the beach.
"Okay guys, dry off and meet me at the camp fire in 10 minutes!" Thomas said walking off the platform and onto the land.