Holiday Havoc

A/N: Before you read anything, I have to tell you that I'm Muslim, meaning I pratice the religion of Islam, meaning I don't celebrate Christmas. So you may wonder why the heck I'm writing a Christmas story. See, where I live, Christmas is overcommercialized and everywhere. And I tend to get a little tired of it. This was written on account of that frustration. But you will find it funny. Dedicated to friends and fellow writers Erestor and Ithiliel Silverquill for being so wonderfully supportive during my time of…story deletions, and Malara and Rhys for being such great reviewers. Thanks, guys! BTW, this is a modernized Imladris. Just so no one gets confused.

P.S. – I agree with your mother about the guy who sang "Have a Holly, Jolly Christmas", Erestor!

Erestor walked to his office, stacks of papers and files held snugly against his chest. He was in a good mood. He hadn't run into Glorfindel yet. And that was a great thing. He reached out to open the door of his office and stopped as he realized that yet again, Elrond had managed to hang one of those blasted wreaths on his door. They always dropped twigs and leaves on his doormat as they started to dry out. However, it was useless to remove it, as Elrond would just hang up another one.

Sighing, he opened the door and headed inside, slamming it firmly shut with his foot.

"No interruptions today!" he sang out, plopping down into his chair and placing his paperwork in front of him. He pulled open his desk drawer and took out his glasses and Walkman. He slid the glasses onto his nose, snapped the headphones over his ears, and pressed the power button.

Loud, pounding rap blared out of the speakers and into his ears, like fists thumping against his eardrums. He quickly turned down the volume and switched the channel. Celebrian must have gotten hold of it again. She was always listening to rap and hip-hop. Now, heavy metal blasted through the headphones. He quickly changed it. He'd only learned to recognize heavy metal as music after Elladan and Elrohir had reached their "annoying teenager" stage, and constantly listened to it. Before that, he'd always wondered why in Arda they bothered to have a station that only played sound clips of people screaming and smashing trashcan lids together. People could be so strange.

Beep, beep, beep. Each time he changed the station, the Walkman would beep. There it was. Soft rock, all day. But it wasn't meant to be.

He hadn't realized it.

It was back!

It was time!

His favorite music station was being invaded by – GASP! Christmas carols!

"No," he breathed, hoping with every fabric of his being that he was wrong.

And then…

"Welcome to WRIV, Rivendell Soft Rock, all day. We've now become Holiday Rivendell, until the holiday season's finished. All Christmas music, all day."

Erestor slumped over. A whole month of nothing but Christmas music. "Why?" he asked the air. "Why do they do this?"

"Why do they do what?" asked a jolly voice. Glorfindel poked his head in through the door.

Erestor groaned and covered his face with his hands. Now, not only did he have to deal with holiday music, but Glorfindel, as well!

The other advisor pranced into the room happily, practically skipping, a bright red Santa cap on his head. "Have a holly, jolly Christmas!" he sang, dancing around Erestor's desk. "And in case you didn't hear, oh, by golly, have a holly, jolly Christmas this year!" He sang this over and over, as it was, for the most part, the only verse he knew of the song. He grabbed the carefully-sorted papers and threw them in the air. Then, he took off his hat and dropped it sideways on Erestor's head. "Ho, ho, the mistletoe, hung where you can't see, somebody waits for you – "

"Please, stop!" Erestor cried. Glorfindel halted in his tracks.

"What's wrong?" the golden-haired Elf asked.

"Glor, I'm trying to work. If you would kindly leave – "

"But I can't leave! I must get you into the holiday spirit! Jingle bells, Galadriel smells, Elrond laid an egg…"

Erestor, annoyed, blew a strand of dark hair from his face and adjusted his skewed spectacles. "Glorfindel, this is most definitely not going to get me into the holiday spirit. Now, I demand that you remove this ridiculous hat from my head, pick up my papers, and leave!"

Glorfindel looked at him as one pitying a dying man. "You, my dear Erestor, just don't know fun when you see it!"

"I know fun," Erestor protested. "To me, this just isn't fun."

"But Christmas is always fun!" Glorfindel said.

"Not to me!"

"How is that possible?" Glorfindel asked in horror.

Then, the door creaked open again. Elrond stepped into the room, holding a Styrofoam cup of steaming coffee. "What's going on in here?" the Elven Lord asked, looking fierce.

Glorfindel pointed accusingly at Erestor. "He doesn't like Christmas!"

Elrond shrugged. "He's always been like that."

"But that's preposterous!" Glorfindel protested, snatching the Santa hat from Erestor's head and jamming it on his own, his hands clamped about the white cotton trim protectively.

"No, I just don't like it," Erestor said, slightly defensive. "Now, I'd highly appreciate it if you'd all leave!"

"Fine," Elrond said, shrugging again. He slipped out the door. Glorfindel slunk out behind him, his eyes narrowed maliciously at Erestor.

When he was sure they were gone, Erestor put on his headphones again and switched the Walkman to the classical music station.

A/N: This will only be a two or three chapter fic, since I'm kinda busy recently. However, I will keep up with it, as I did with "Caffeine". Namarie!