I'm sorry but portraitofa-girl told me some TG spoilers and it gave me feels and writing is apparently how I deal with them sometimes? I'm not brave enough to be in that fandom so plz excuse my uninformed ramblings
((insert whining about dislike of summary/title here))
"Why did you do that?!"
Hanbee couldn't recall if Suzuya had ever screamed at him. (After the events of the past few hours, it was a wonder he remembered anything from before.)
"What gave you the right– I'm not a child! Covering my ears like I'm some kid who doesn't know anything. How dare you."
He wished Suzuya would hit him. Surely words weren't enough to ease the turmoil inside the boy.
No, not a boy. But not a man, yet. Hanbee had simply reacted, followed his instinct. No person should have to hear or see such an event.
So he remained silent while Suzuya raged.
"Maybe I wanted to hear that horrible creature die, did you ever consider that? Maybe I wanted to hear her scream! Maybe I wanted to know she felt even a fraction of the pain she inflicted on me!" His sudden laughter was brittle and hollow. "I don't know how I ever felt anything toward that thing. She was only… She just…"
He let loose another burst of laughter, doubling over. He laughed until he couldn't breathe, and when he straightened, he pressed both hands to his face and stood still. Only his shoulders shook.
When he turned to face Hanbee, his face was wet with tears that continued to fall. It took all of Hanbee's strength not to reach out.
But Suzuya came to him, grasped both of his arms with vise-like fingers. "Hanbee," he whispered, eyes wide and full of desperation. "Hanbee, I don't know what to do."
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My ghost, where'd you go?
I can't find you in the body sleeping next to me
~Halsey, "Ghost"
Haise startles awake because of nothing. Again. For the third time that night.
Except it's not nothing. It's the lack of extra warmth. He realizes this at the same time he realizes he's shivering, and laughs at himself quietly. His bed is perfectly warm; it's just that he's so used to being snuggled, wrapped up, and blanketed by Juuzou.
It wasn't nothing the other two times either, he recalls. He keeps checking… He shifts to one side, straining to see the shape on the other side of the bed, worrying if he's still there. He is, of course.
He moves to press up against Juuzou before he remembers. By then it's too late to avoid the awful feeling of Juuzou's body stiffening, willing him away. Face burning, heart sinking, Haise eases back to his side of the bed.
It's only the first night since… the incident. Haise knows that. He isn't hurt by Juuzou's reaction but, oh, he hurts for Juuzou. He wants to give any comfort he can.
For now, he will give Juuzou time.
Stubborn, still, Haise wants to try. He inches toward Juuzou, one small slide, and places one hand on his shoulder. Juuzou doesn't move from that.
And then he feels just the tips of Juuzou's fingers fluttering to rest over his.
Haise feels his heart lift a bit.
That's more than enough for now.