The funeral had been terrible, arguably the worst day of her life. Well, it was perhaps second only to the actual night that she had witnessed the attempted assassination of her lover. It was not that the funeral itself was bad – it had been a beautiful service – it was more that the event seemed to finalise things, to reinforce the fact that she was gone. Of course, she was not really gone. Olivia had struggled greatly to come to terms with the fact that the woman that she had been mourning the loss of for the past few days was in fact alive, and being moved into the witness protection programme. She had stood, open mouthed, as Alex had stepped out of the SUV last night, and wondered what on earth was to happen next. The immediate future was obvious; Alex would be whisked away by the Feds to some remote far away town where no-one would know her name. She would be given a new identity. A new house. A whole new life. But what about the long term? Would she find a new lover? Would she ever come home? How long would she be gone for and would it ever be safe for her to return. The questions were whizzing around in Olivia's head when suddenly a familiar voice brought her back to the present. To the wake, which was being held at Alex's parents' country house. She looked up to find Casey standing next to her seat, asking if she was ok. She smiled, and told Casey that she would be fine. Fine. She didn't really believe that, not as she sat there at the wake of her lover, whilst only about 6 other people in the room even knew that Alex was gay, never mind that they were dating. It was so hard to try and act as though she had lost a friend, not her partner.
Olivia felt terrible. Terrible for lying to her friends, to Alex's friends and family who all believed that she really was dead. Why would they doubt it? The only people who knew the truth, apart from the Feds were her, Elliot and Abbie. There was a clanging sound, and Olivia looked up from her thoughts again, this time to find Abbie in her not so subtle manner trying to gain everyone's focus so she could speak. She said that Alex's mother had asked her to choose some music for the afternoon, and that she had decided to connect Alex's i-pod to the speakers and play her most recent playlist. But, she said, there were two songs that she had to play first. Abbie went on to describe what she called a bizarre conversation she had had with Alex a few months before her death, where following the untimely death of a police officer, they had discussed things that they would like to have at their funerals. Alex had said that if anything were to happen to her, and she were still with her partner – Abbie was very careful at this point not to use any terms that would give away Olivia's identity, or perhaps more significantly the fact that Alex was gay – then Abbie was to play the following two songs as a way of letting her partner know how she felt about their relationship. Abbie looked around the room, said 'you know who you are' and hit the 'play' button. The first song that filled the room was 'In this Life', by Bette Midler. Liv found herself listening to the significance of the words, and the message that Alex was sending her, and it made her heart soar. Abbie had by this point moved to be at Liv's side, and was holding her hand. "You know she loved you, right?". Olivia smiled, yes she did know that Alex loved her, and she loved Alex too. More than she had ever thought it was possible to love another human being. The song finished, and the next one began, bringing a familiar smile to Olivia's face, in fact it almost made her laugh. Alex had always loved this song, and it had sort of become their song – 'I only want to be with you', by the Bay City Rollers! Only Alex would ask for that to be played at her wake.