Summary: Ichigo's thoughts during "the look" in ch.213.

Rating: G

Spoilers: Arrancar arc; ch.213+

Disclaimer: For now I don't own Bleach, but when I marry Kubo and then divorce him, I'll beg the judge to give me all claims to Bleach. But for now, all I have is a 128 oz. jug of Mountain Fresh Clorox.

Ame ga Mata Futte Iru
(It's Raining Again)

'How could I have let this happen?'

All was quiet except for the soft humming sounds of Orihime's healing shield. Everyone was gathered around, faces stone set in seriousness, waiting for the healing process to finish. A bead of sweat was forming on Orihime's forehead and as her shield wavered for a second, she made a small groan of pain.

"Are you okay Orihime-chan? You're still injured yourself. It's not good to work too hard." Matsumoto advised.

Still putting her concentration into the shield she answered, "I'm just fine Rangiku-san; don't worry about me. It'll only be just a little while longer…"

She glanced over at Ichigo, sitting a foot away from her. His saddened eyes were boring into the shield, staring at the person beneath it – Rukia. Orihime closed her eyes and sighed, heartbroken at what she just saw. 'Is Rangiku-san right? Are Kuchiki-san and I both important to Ichigo? Kuchiki-san is the person that changed his world, but who am I; what do I do?' She focused back on the task at hand, keeping her misery to herself.

For Ichigo, time stood still. All he could do was look down at the unconscious Rukia. Everything and everybody disappeared, leaving just the two of them. Ichigo swallowed hard, thinking of words to say.

'...I'm sorry Rukia. You told me to get stronger and I failed. I'm supposed to protect and I didn't. I was defeated once again. I'm letting everybody down…'

'These arrancar, they're powerful. In Soul Society bankai was just enough to defeat my opponent and sometimes my victories bordered on the verge of luck. But now, it's not enough. I'm just not strong enough...but inside of me, there's someone that is. I don't know his name, but he's there. However, because he is powerful, he has been slowly been taking over me. When I'm weak, he controls me, but if he wasn't there at those times, I'd be dead. So in a way I'm indebted to him, but even still, he is a hollow. If I don't find a way to keep him from controlling me, he will consume me and I will be a full hollow.' His fists clenched in frustration.

"Kurosaki-kun?" The soft spoken voice of Orihime pulled him from his thoughts.

He looked up at her. "Oh, I'm sorry Inoue. Are you finished?" Ichigo asked.

"Yeah, but I think we should let Kuchiki-san rest for a few minutes before we wake her up. Why don't you come over with everyone else; they're discussing tonight's events before reporting to Soul Society."

His head dropped back down toward Rukia. "I'm coming, but I want to stay here for a little bit more…"

Orihime clasped her hands behind her back, squeezing them tightly. "Oh…okay Kurosaki-kun. Um, I'll be back in a few minutes to make sure Kuchiki-san's wounds are properly healed," she replied softly and turned away from the scene. Her footsteps dragged slowly.

Ichigo watched Rukia sleep, chest slowly rising up and down with each gentle breath. Daring to be closer, Ichigo reached out and loosely held Rukia's left hand. It was slowly regaining warmth after the blood loss from her injuries. He swallowed hard.

'Rukia, I won't let this happen again. Next time I will be stronger. Next time I won't let "him" control me. Next time I WILL defeat Grimmjow. We will stop Aizen, I promise.'

He let go of her hand. Standing up, he had a strange feeling of being heavier although Zangetsu was lying right beside him. He looked back down at Rukia once more, but at that instant his heartbeat was accompanied with a small sting of pain. For a brief moment he placed his hand over his heart and after dropping it back down by his side, he picked up Zangetsu and walked away.

'I think it's beginning to rain again...and you know how much I hate the rain.'

Author's Notes: Hi everyone, it's been awhile since my first story! I had started three stories after that, but got horrible writer's block and they're still sitting in my notebook unfinished. However, I wrote this short thing about a month and a half ago before I blew my brains out with final exams. I got lazy though, and didn't post it, but now here it is! So I hope everybody liked it and I'll try to get back into a writing mood while I'm on summer vacation. Thanks for reading!