"Sensei, I'm in love with you."
Kiyoteru watched as the speaker lowered his head in shame at his own words. His confession had been weak, muffled, but perhaps to him it was like a slap through the air. For an instant the student looked up at Kiyoteru with a glimmer of hope in his eye, but almost immediately he averted his gaze. He must have realized there was no sense for hoping— the poor soul. Sometimes it hurt to be sensible.
Kiyoteru knew the boy; he was his student in homeroom as well his mathematics class. He was the boy of the Kagamine twins, although his sister was better known than him. A fact probably attributed to her position as the student council secretary. Kiyoteru was unsure of his first name, however. Was it Ken? The blond haired, blue eyed boy who stood coyly in front of him seemed too cute to be called Ken.
Oh, yes. Len. It was Len.
Seemed cute enough.
Truthfully, Kiyoteru was so bored he almost wanted to humor himself by accepting the boy's confession. They could "date" for a while, and then break up at Kiyoteru's leisure.
But it was too troublesome, not to mention the potential consequences of the fling.
Kiyoteru would just have to stick to the night scene. Ice Mountain was doing just fine after all.
The teacher feigned gentleness, as he usually did with this type of situation, "I'm sorry, Kagamine-kun. I'm afraid I cannot accept your confession."
The boy was silent. Without saying anything, he looked back up at Kiyoteru again.
Kiyoteru had to make a conscious effort to not look away from Len's gaze. There was something in eyes again, not hope but intensity. Kiyoteru hated it. It was too serious, too sincere. He didn't want to handle this. He didn't want it imposed on him.
"Please think about our positions. I am your teacher, we cannot have such a relationship," Kiyoteru said, subduing his bout of panic, "You are a smart boy and I know you are more than capable of being reasonable. You simply are young and confused. These feelings will subside."
These feelings will subside. How disgusting. How exemplary of the disgusting, fickle human heart.
It was true though. Everyone knew it.
Kiyoteru either expected Len to throw a fit, quietly leave, or cry. That is what most of his confessors did.
But what Len did made Kiyoteru a little curious, uncomfortably so.
The boy smiled at the teacher, a little too sadly.
"I'm sorry, sensei."
He sounded as if he was putting himself back together. Like he'd already been broken even before he'd confessed, and was now putting himself back together.
So scary.
Then the boy just stood there, waiting for Kiyoteru to walk away. The teacher did just that, wanting to leave just as much as Len wanted him to stay.
Human feelings.
Repulsive.
The next day his eyes were puffy and looked sore.
During mathematics class, as Len rested his head atop his arms, looking out of the window next to him, Kiyoteru also noticed that his hair looked a little strange. But he couldn't quite place it.
A friend approached Len and talked to him, tones of concern in his voice.
"As if he really cares," Kiyoteru couldn't help thinking. But that was just it wasn't it? Humans would feign care and gentleness, just as he had done yesterday when rejecting Kagamine-kun's confession, but they would never find it within themselves to honestly give a damn about what happened to others.
Ultimately, the brain and the heart would never correlate. If the heart took over, you would be inevitably hurt. If the brain took over, you would inevitably cause hurt.
Was it better to cause hurt or to feel hurt?
The answer was obvious so Kiyoteru turned his attention to the black board, writing the necessary equation on the board.
He turned back to his chattering class and the bell rang.
The students quieted down and Kiyoteru spoke, "As a revision of yesterday's lesson, solve this equation. Although it is your warm-up, please put effort into solving it correctly."
Kiyoteru stepped off to the side to allow the students copy the equation. He watched the students unravel the equation on their papers, dissecting it and solving it in parts. Kiyoteru purposefully chose one that would make them think. But it didn't matter how difficult the problem since there was a definite solution; it was simple, clean math.
Unlike feelings. Unlike—
Kiyoteru had just thought of Kagmine-kun's confession. Very bad.
Although they didn't think Kiyoteru would notice, a few students in the back were passing notes. They were all female and looking at Kiyoteru in a way that certain females did. On closer inspection, one of the girls were blushing more than the others. The teacher knew that he didn't have to intercept the notes in order to read about that girl's infatuation with him.
He'd spare them the humiliation for now, but Kiyoteru couldn't help but feel distinctively turned off. That girl was definitely the type that would cry and beg him to go out with her. She would insist that she was in love with him.
Even though it wasn't love. Even she knew that. If only she would admit it to herself and forget about him. It was save him so much trouble.
Really, high school students or not, he hated that type.
Feeling another gaze on him, Kiyoteru turned to look Kagamine Len in the eye.
Kiyoteru refused to look away, refused to feel so disturbed. That look, the one when after he'd confessed yesterday, Kagamine-kun wore it now.
Oh, Kiyoteru thought, his hair isn't in its usual ponytail.
Kiyoteru didn't like how much the boy was exposing himself. Why would he bear his feelings like that? Either way, Kiyoteru had now become aware of Kagamine-kun. It was too much. Kiyoteru would have to back out carefully now.
So wearisome.
"Hiyama-sensei," Leon said approaching him, "Let's go out for a drink later."
Kiyoteru gave him a disapproving look, "No."
"Amazing!" the school nurse exclaimed, "You reject me every time."
"I'm a tsundere," Kiyoteru said, half joking.
The nurse laughed too loudly, "Just one date?"
A couple students passing by giggled as they heard Leon speak.
"No," Kiyoteru reiterated.
"Damn!"
"Don't speak that way in school."
Kiyoteru sighed. Leon had been his good friend since college. It was by luck that they both got jobs at the same school. He knew the guy was swung both ways, but he also knew that he wasn't his type. Leon liked pretty, cute people. Typically the annoying, clingy type.
He was practically the antithesis of Kiyoteru. He went around investing his emotions much too recklessly. It was foolish. But maybe that's why he didn't mind having him around. It was nice to be reminded of who you were.
Leon attempted to put his arm around Kiyoteru, but the brunette slapped his hand away.
"Stingy!" Leon exclaimed, laughing, "Oh, well. That's what makes you cute."
"That is unbelievably gross," Kiyoteru said, wheeling on the blond.
"Oh did I hurt your masculine pride?" Leon said too loudly again. Couldn't the fool be quiet?
But there really wasn't anything 'cute' about Kiyoteru. He was tall, wore glasses, and his brown hair was cut short and neat. His build too, was definitely that of a man's. His shoulders were wide, his stance solid, all hard muscle.
Just as Leon attempted to swing his arm around Kiyoteru again, a familiar short, blond rounded the corner.
Len stopped for a moment when he saw Leon hanging over Kiyoteru. The look on his face made Kiyoteru feel glad. The jealousy he saw in his eyes was familiar, obvious. Unlike what he had seen before. Maybe Kagamine-kun would give up on him now.
After a moment, Len said politely, "Hello, Hiyama-sensei, Leon-sensei."
"Hello," Kiyoteru replied plainly, not wanting to make more of this.
"Hello, Len-kun~" Leon exclaimed, beaming at the shorter boy.
Kiyoteru looked at Leon sharply. That idiot actually liked that boy?
So easy. So obvious. So reckless. So stupid.
Len blushed a little, "Um, I'll be going now."
The boy bowed a little and hurried away.
For a moment Kiyoteru lingered on the sight of Len's blush. Did he like Leon also?
Kiyoteru felt repulsed. The boy had just confessed to him yesterday, he had acted strangely all day, and now he blushed for Leon?
Oh the ever changeable human heart. Absolutely disdainful.
"You shouldn't allow the students to call you by first name," Kiyoteru said, turning his back on Leon to leave.
He heard Leon speak as he walked away.
"It's only Len-kun. I like him, he's cute."
"I know," Kiyoteru thought, "Everyone with half a wit knows."
Like versus love versus hate. Where were the lines drawn exactly?
Kiyoteru didn't know. All he knew was that night clubs were fun. And that singing at night clubs his rock band Ice Mountain was fun. And that going home with women he didn't know the names of was fun as well.
Perhaps "going home" wasn't the right way to describe it. As if he would be stupid enough to allow a stranger to enter his house, or go to another stranger's house. He didn't even bring close friends home.
He usually did at a love hotel. Even a public park would do just fine. Anywhere but his apartment. That place was his only sanctuary.
This is why he didn't date anyone. What was dating anyway? You faked commitment, held hands, made a scene, and made another scene when you broke up. What was the point of it all?
That was just it. No point.
Having sex was just that. No emotions. Nothing messy, nothing sticky.
Meet a woman, sleep with her, and then leave. No need to feel empty the next day.
No need to remember Len's confession to him. No need to remember the look in his eyes.
No need for anything.
Author's note:
Hello and welcome to my fanfiction! This is the first time I've written Kiyoteru/Len, or any teacher/student fic, actually. Hopefully everyone enjoys it. I have never written anyone to be as jaded as Kiyoteru (or at least I hope he comes across jaded. That's sort of the idea.) This will be fun.
If you have anything to say to me, feel free to tell me. I am a tough person who can handle any criticism! Although it isn't a requirement, I sincerely request that you at least be polite. Rude people are uncool.
Thank you for reading and please await the next chapter.