Chapter 1

I lay on the cold stone floor, dimly aware of the intense pain that racked my body. My half-open eyes caught sight of the Potter boy, lying unconscious a few feet away from me.

A gleam of red peeked out from his trouser pocket, winking and glittering cheekily at me. The Philosopher's Stone.  My goal- so close, yet so far. I tried to get up, to retrieve my long-sought treasure but I was too weak. Something was holding me down. My arms and legs refused to respond to my brain's commands. I let out a whimper of anguish.

"You fool!" screamed Voldemort in my head. "You are so useless! You can't even defeat an eleven year old wizard! You wanted power and yet you are so weak!" My head was throbbing so badly that I felt like vomiting. "Help me, master. Please," I muttered thickly. A high cold laugh resounded in my ears. "Help you?" said my master scornfully. "You're dying. You are useless to me now. Your body can rot here for all I care."

I-I'm dying? Strangely enough, I felt no shock, hearing that piece of news. "Master, please…" I pleaded. "Don't leave me now…" But at that moment, I felt something from my body pushing out. It was as though a part of me was being ripped off forcefully. My body exploded in fresh pain but I was too weak to cry out.

"Master?" I whispered. There was no answer. He had gone. He had left me to die here alone, in this cold dark chamber. A single tear rolled down my cheek. "You- a grown man- crying? Have you no dignity even in death?" A voice screamed in my ear.

'Dignity? What dignity? I lost every shred of dignity I had when Voldemort possessed me,' I thought to myself bitterly. Darkness was beginning to gather at the edges of my vision.  I saw a person- no, two people enter the chamber through the flame door. One of them was Dumbledore, there was no mistaking that white beard. The other person's sallow skin contrasted starkly with his black robes. My stomach gave a lurch as I recognized him. Severus Snape. Of all people.

Dumbledore strode to where Harry Potter lay and picked him up. It seemed rather strange, seeing this frail old man carrying the teenage boy like a baby. On his way back to the entrance of the chamber, he paused as he passed by me, casting a shadow on my face. He was so close to me but when he spoke, his voice seemed to come from far away.

"Such a waste. A fine young talent- misguided along the path of evil." He shook his head. "Severus, you had better hurry. He is nearly gone." With that, Dumbledore turned and left, his footsteps echoing slightly in the chamber.

The darkness at the edge of my vision was increasing. Cold sweat began pouring from my forehead and my blistered and burnt hands started clenching uncontrollably. I groaned in pain. My mind was also in turmoil. Bright and dark colours swirled repeatedly around in my mind, taking no distinct form.

I heard Snape stride towards me with fast heavy steps. Felt his hand grasp my collar and yank me roughly forwards. My head lolled listlessly on my shoulders. I did not have the strength to resist. He pulled my mouth open forcefully and poured in an evil- smelling emerald green liquid. I coughed and spluttered as the foul mixture slid down my throat.

I wondered what mode of torture Snape was going to subject me to when all of a sudden, I saw the chamber come into sharper focus. The darkness at the edge of my vision receded. I felt a tickling sensation on my hands and face and I stared at my hands in wonder. The blisters on them were shrinking and disappearing. I brought my hand to my face and felt it. The skin felt smooth. There was no trace of the blisters that had formed when Potter clutched my face.

I was shocked and surprise. 'I was the villain. Why was Severus helping me?' I thought in bewilderment.

Snape had let go of my collar and was standing above me, his cold black eyes glinting from behind his greasy hair that fell all over his face. I stumbled up, my legs shaking so badly that I feared that they would not be able to support my weight.

"S-Severus, why-" I started to say. In a lightning move that took me completely by surprise, Snape grabbed my throat in a vice-like grip and slammed me against the wall.

He brought his face closer to mine until our noses were almost touching. I felt his warm breath on my face. Gasping for air, I stared back into Snape's emotionless black eyes. No-wait… I could see something different in those dark eyes. Was it pity? Disgust? Sadness?  I could not tell.

"You are such a fool, Quirrell. Why did you join the Dark Lord? You knew he was pure evil and yet you still allowed him to take over you! I am so angry, I could kill you right here and now!" he snarled. I felt his grip on my throat tighten.

"Bit rich coming from you, Severus," I choked out. "I know you joined the Dark Lord when he was in power. He told me. And if you are going to kill me now, why did you save my life just now? I was only a few seconds from death." Sighing, Snape released his hold of my throat and turned away. I slumped to the floor, gasping for breath and massaged my throat. "Oh, damn it, Slatero! You know I can't- I am just so- so mad at myself. Your father told me to look after you when you first came to Hogwarts and I thought that I had made you keen on all the right things. Now I feel I have let down your father,' he said.

I felt horrible and guilty, listening to Snape's words. What a disgrace I am to my father. Maybe it would have been a lot better if I had died. Then I would not have to face him. My mind instinctively went back to the days of my life before I met Voldemort.

*Flashback*

My father was one of the top members in the Ministry of Magic. He was head of the Department of International Magical Cooperation and was very outspoken against the Dark Side. My mother died during an accident when I was two. My father was heartbroken and pinned all his love on me as I was an only child. So I grew up without a mother. My father loved me a lot but he was not very emotional and always had to go to the Ministry to work every day from morning till night.

However, I knew he loved me because of how he always tried to find time to play with me and teach me how to fly a broomstick. Snape's father worked with my father and they were very close friends. I occasionally stayed over at Snape's manor to play when my father had to go abroad. He was like a big brother to me.

When I entered Hogwarts for the first time, Snape was already in his sixth year. How well I remember my fear and anxiety when I entered the Great Hall for the first time. When Professor McGonagall called out my name to get sorted, my legs were shaking like mad and I thought that I was going to die of fear. I remember going slowly up to the Sorting Hat and put it on.

"Hmmm… not bad,' a voice whispered in my ear. "You have a very bright brain and talent. Now, where do you think a clever young man like you should be sorted to?" "I want to be in Slytherin," I whispered back, thinking of Snape. He was the only person I knew here at Hogwarts.

"Slytherin, eh? Are you sure? Let's see…no, I don't think you are suited for that house. A boy with your character won't be happy there, I can assure you. You are quiet, unassuming, talented and brilliant. Therefore you should belong to RAVENCLAW!" The hat shouted out the last word. I felt tears forming in my eyes and I hurriedly blinked them away. 'Why? Why? Why can't I join Slytherin? At least I'll have a friend there who can show me around and would not laugh at me if I make mistakes.' I thought dejectedly. I did not know at that time how lucky I was to be placed in Ravenclaw and not in Slytherin.

As soon as McGonagall lifted the hat from my head, I walked off, head bowed, to the applauding Ravenclaw table. I cast a glance at the Slytherin table, trying to pick out Snape. I spotted him almost immediately. After all, no one else at the Slytherin table had long black greasy hair up to their shoulders. He saw me looking at him and gave a small smile. I waved back as I seated myself in an empty chair at the Ravenclaw table.

School term started and I soon found out that I was gifted in magic. I could do spells that would have made a fifth year proud of himself/herself. I excelled in all subjects, especially in Defence against the Dark Arts. The teachers made a big fuss over me. "Oh, you are such a talented young boy, Slatero." "Look here, everybody. Why can't you all do the switching spell as well as Slatero?" I hated it. I sometimes wanted to find a hole to crawl into. I was so embarrassed.

The news of me being a prodigy spread and I soon became famous. Then the problems started. I became a bully magnet. My small build made me an ideal target for bullies. Not one day passed without someone (mostly Slytherins) shooting insults and decretory remarks at me. I also got into fights occasionally. The bullies would wait until I was alone before pouncing on me. Trips to the Infirmary with a broken nose or a bruised face became frequent. I was quite good at dueling with a wand, but the bullies often resorted to hard fists and wrestling tactics.

Snape tried to protect me from these attacks but as he and I were in different houses and year, it was almost impossible. We could only meet at mealtimes. He tried to convince the other Slytherins to leave me alone, but when that did not work, he told me to tell him the names of the bullies who beat me up so that he could punish them. I did not tell as I did not want Snape to get into trouble because of me. I also did not want others to think that I needed to depend on other people to protect me.

I made myself a couple of 'friends' but they were mostly snakes in the grass that are not worthy to spoken about. They left and ignored me when I became famous and once even tried to frame me for botching up a potion.  I remember my father once telling me that fame breeds jealousy. "Son," he said, "If you ever become famous, watch out for those whom you count as friends. They may be kind and courteous in front of you, but behind your back they can be as vile and traitorous as a fanged viper! They can be secretly jealous of you and use underhand means to tarnish your reputation. Choose your friends wisely and do not trust anyone with secrets unless you are sure of their loyalty." I was too young then, to grasp the full meaning of his words. But now I wish I had paid much more attention to all the advice my father had given me!

I once had a very good friend by the name of Charlotte. I noticed her on the first day of school when we sat side by side in Transfiguration. She was pretty, with long brown hair and blue eyes. She was also brave and smart. During my first year, when I got bullied, she usually tried to stand up for me. I loved her but was too shy to show my true feelings to her. How I regretted it badly then! During my second year in Hogwarts, she disappeared. She went home for the Christmas holidays and never came back. The teachers said that she had transferred to Durmstrang. I was devastated. I sent her owls bringing letters and presents. She never replied.

The next few years of my life were miserable. I was alone and friendless and my situation became worse when Snape graduated from Hogwarts. This misery awoke within me a desire. More than anything else, I wanted POWER. I wanted to see my enemies at my feet, begging for mercy. The only way to accomplish this was to become a very influential member of the Ministry of Magic. At that time I was torn between shame and desire. I was ashamed of wanting to abuse my authority if I ever became powerful. But I also so badly wanted to teach those bullies a lesson they that would never forget. During this time, the Dark Lord was in the height of his powers. What was interesting was the fact that I never thought of joining the Dark side for power before. I guess I was a bit influenced by my father, which was what made my decision to join the Dark Lord in the end almost questionable. 

Finally, when I could no longer stand the daily taunting, my desire won. I set myself, body and spirit, in accomplishing this task to be powerful. One of the ways to become a top member in the Ministry was to excel in all subjects in school. I worked and studied very hard. I memorized books from the library. I was always the first to use the library and the last to leave it. In my fifth year, I got twelve O.W.L.S and in my seventh year, attained high distinctions for every single subject. My father was very proud of me and offered me a job in his department.

I turned it down and became a teacher instead. It is funny how quickly your mind can change its way of thinking sometimes. What made me change my mind about joining the Ministry was Snape.

I did not hear much from Snape for a long time, starting from the time the Dark Lord came into power. He seldom replied the letters I sent him and when he did, his tone was always curt and abrupt. His letters before used to be long and pleasant to read. I wondered what had brought about that change in Snape's attitude and was a bit puzzled. However, I did not have much time to ponder about his curt tone as I was studying hard for my O.W.L.S at that time. When the Dark Lord fell from power (during my seventh year), Snape returned to Hogwarts. When I first saw him after so many years, I was horrified. He looked pale and exhausted, his greasy black hair in a horrible state of unkempt.

Later that day, when I was alone with him in the library, I asked what happened to him. He gave a short laugh and said that he had been away in Africa researching on dragons. "They are a bunch of nasty blighters. It is really tiring to do research on your belly and pray that they would not see you and fry you to a crisp," he laughed. I thought that his laughter sounded a little false but I did not really pay much attention to it.

I was fascinated by dragons. I kept asking him questions on dragons and failed to notice how awkward he became when it came to answering my questions. He kept trying to change the subject. Finally he said, "I'm sorry, Slatero, but could we not talk about this now? I'm tired and not in the mood for questions on dragons." I agreed.

I then asked him about his career and found out that he was going to teach here at Hogwarts. I was stunned. I remember spluttering out, "You want to be a teacher? Why? I mean, with your skills in Defence Against the Dark Arts, you could be an Auror!"

Snape fixed me with this penetrating look. "No, I don't want to be an Auror. In fact, I want a job that has absolutely nothing to do with Dark Arts!"

 I was bewildered. "Why?" I asked. He sighed. "I just- don't. I don't know how to explain this. I know I was fascinated by the Dark Arts when I was young, but now… I've seen the extent of the terror and destruction the Dark Arts can do. I'm … well, disgusted with them."

I was about to ask when and how he had seen the Dark Arts in action when he smiled. "I've said enough about me. Now, tell me about yourself since I left." I told him about the bullies and how I planned to join the Ministry. I felt a little ashamed admitting to Snape about my ambition. But he was like a big brother to me and so I told him all of my problems. When I was done, he said, "So, you want to enter the Ministry so that you can take revenge against the bullies?" I hung my head.

Snape patted my shoulder. "I know how you feel, Slatero. But I don't think you should join the Ministry just to get revenge. You may also not enjoy the work life in the Ministry and be unhappy. Of course, I'm not forcing you, but I just don't feel it is right." It was amazing how well Snape could influence me, for from that moment onwards, I decided not to join the Ministry. "But what other profession can I take?" I asked him. Snape thought for a moment before saying, "Why don't you…become a teacher?" I was stunned. "A-a teacher? Like you?" Snape laughed, "Yes, why not? I heard that the Defence against the Dark Arts post will be empty next year, as your present teacher, Professor Curtis would be resigning this year. With your qualifications in Defence, I think that you would do just fine."

A teacher. Interesting. I have never thought of myself in this profession before. But then again, why not? I liked children and just as Snape said, I may not find life in the Ministry interesting. I was also now ashamed of my pettiness to get revenge. And if I become a teacher, at least Snape would be there to help me along in case I ran into some difficulties. So after my NEWTS, I applied for the Defence Against the Dark Arts job. Dumbledore was extremely glad and accepted me as part of the new faculty. He did not question my ability to teach. I was grateful for his confidence in me despite my youth.

I taught in Hogwarts for about three years when I decided to take a year off to go to the Black Forest in Albania to research on Dark Creatures. That proved to be the biggest mistake I ever made in my life. I planned to get more first-hand information about Dark Creatures so that I could make my lessons more interesting than reading out of textbooks. Snape was worried for me as I was still young and tried to deter me from going. But I was adamant, and in the end he let me go and wished me good luck. So I went to the Black Forest, met the Dark Lord and...

*End of Flashback*

I looked down at the cold stone floor beneath me and felt tears well up in my eyes again. The memories of what had taken place after I met Voldemort were too terrible for me to recollect clearly. I looked up to where Snape stood, his back still facing me. I brushed off my tears with the back of my hand.

"What is going to happen to me now, Severus?" I asked.

Snape turned around and faced me. He sighed. "I saved you because you were a very good friend of mine. But if the Ministry learns that you are still alive… You will have to spend the rest of your life in Azkaban." I gasped. "Azkaban? I'll rather die then go that dreadful place!" I cried.

"Don't worry, Slatero," said Snape. "It's going to be impossible for the school not to know what has taken place between you and Potter but Dumbledore has come up with the only solution."

"And what is the solution?" I asked, dreading the answer.

"You must flee this place. Leave and go far away," Snape said. "It's the only way. Dumbledore will tell everyone that you have died and so no one will come searching for you. I will send you owls bringing food. When you find a safe and secure place and have properly settled in, owl me. I'll come and visit you if I have the time."

I was numb with shock. I wanted to ask Snape where I could flee to but I could not find my tongue to speak. All that came out of my mouth was a raspy sound. Snape looked sadly down at me. "I know how you feel, but you will have to survive on your own now. I recommend you living in either a forest or a cave."

I was still reeling with shock. Live in the wilderness? I would probably be dead within a month. I did not know to hunt or cook. I imagined myself eating raw meat and immediately felt sick.

Snape's voice interrupted my thoughts. "I trust that you are now more matured and can survive without help," Snape smiled. "Is there anything you would want to do before you leave?" he asked.

I was uncertain. I had too much to answer for.