I would like to thank Ways and TheBestKindOfStupid for helping me write this story.
CODENAME: EDS NEXT DOOR
Chapter 1
One summer day in Peach Creek, the Eds were heading to the candy store after earning 75ยข from a scam.
Eddy stopped running so Ed and Edd could catch up to him. "C'mon, guys! Hurry up!" Eddy ordered impatiently.
"There's no need to rush, Eddy. We have plenty of time. The candy store doesn't close for several hours," Edd assured.
"I know but every time we earn enough money for jawbreakers, somethin' bad happens and we don't get 'em," Eddy argued.
"Try to think positively, Eddy. I'm sure there's nothing to fear this time," Edd said.
"Did I tell you guys about the time I found out that thing I used as mouthwash for three weeks was really-" Ed asked before Edd interrupted him.
"Please don't tell us, Ed. I'm certain we don't want to know,"
"Just hurry up! We don't have all day!" Eddy shouted as he continued running.
The Eds turned around the corner and made their way to the candy store. When they arrived, they entered the store and bought three jawbreakers; one for each of them.
"We did it, guys!" Eddy cheered. "Our scam worked and now, we got jawbreakers."
"I'm in my happy place, guys!" Ed cheered.
"See, Eddy? I told you there was nothing to fear. Luck must be on our side today," Edd said. The Eds were about to eat their jawbreakers when suddenly, several gumwads came crashing through the window, thus startling them. "Perhaps I spoke too soon."
The front door was kicked open and in came Stickybeard.
"It's a pirate," Ed pointed out.
"We pirates have the candy store surrounded! Give up yer candy or we'll take it by force!" Stickybeard ordered.
Eddy glared at Edd. "Nice one, Sockhead. You jinxed us," Eddy scolded.
Stickybeard's henchmen barged into the store and started stealing all the candy.
"Oh, dear. They're robbing the candy store. Have they no moral fiber?" Edd complained.
Dumb John Silver approached the Eds. "Hi, kids," he greeted. "Can I have your jawbreakers?"
"No way! Get lost, ya big lummox!" Eddy snapped.
Dumb John Silver started to cry. "Boss, these kids won't let me have their jawbreakers!" he complained.
"So? Just take the jawbreakers, you fool," Stickybeard replied.
"You mean steal 'em? But that's mean!"
Stickybeard groaned and facepalmed. "We're evil pirates! We're supposed to be mean!" he reminded.
"Sorry, kids, but the captain says I have to steal your jawbreakers," Dumb John Silver said. He tried to reach for Eddy's jawbreaker but Eddy kicked him in the shin. "OW!"
"Run for it, guys!" Eddy panicked.
The Eds tried to run for the door but were stopped by Stickybeard.
"Where do ya think yer goin', lads?" Stickybeard asked.
Edd cringed at the sight and smell of Stickybeard's rotten teeth. "Excuse me, sir, but when was the last time you brushed your teeth?" Edd asked.
"There was no last time,"
"GOOD LORD!" Edd shouted in disgust as he took a few steps back.
"Who are you?" Eddy asked.
"I'm Stickybeard, the stickiest pirate ever to sail the suburbs," Stickybeard answered. "And I'll be takin' those jawbreakers ye got there."
"Get your own jawbreakers, Stickybutt! We earned ours fair and square," Eddy said adamantly.
"I said I was takin' yer jawbreakers and I meant it! GET 'EM, BOYS!" Stickybeard ordered. The Eds found themselves surrounded by Stickybeard's henchmen. "You three are comin' with us."
After robbing the candy store, Stickybeard and his crew boarded the Sweet Revenge and left Peach Creek. The Eds were tied to the ship's mast with licorice ropes and their jawbreakers were thrown into the ship's hold.
"Ow, take it easy!" Eddy complained as Chewy and Gooey tightened the ropes.
"Please, not so tight!" Edd complained at the same time.
Chewy and Gooey laughed evilly as they walked off.
Eddy growled and said, "Nobody takes my jawbreaker and gets away with it."
"This is so cool! I've never been on a pirate ship before," Ed commented.
"Got any ideas on how to get us outta this mess, Double-D?"
"Well, Eddy, it appears we're being restrained by licorice," Edd explained.
"Licorice? You mean we can just eat the ropes and we'll be free?" Eddy asked in surprise.
"Yes, but licorice is unhealthy and causes cavities,"
"Who cares? Ed, eat the licorice so we can find our jawbreakers and get outta here," Eddy instructed.
"Roger walnut, Eddy," Ed replied. He bent down and started eating the licorice. Soon, the Eds were free.
"Nice work, Ed," Eddy complimented. "Where do you think our jawbreakers are, Double-D?"
"They should be in the ship's hold. That's where pirates usually store their treasure," Edd answered.
"Alright, let's sneak in there and start lookin',"
The Eds snuck over to the ship's hold. When they arrived, they were amazed by all the candy Stickybeard had stashed. He had all kinds of candy; gumballs, lollypops, chocolate bars, you name it.
"Whoa!" the Eds exclaimed in unison.
"Look at all that candy," Ed said.
"It's a mother lode," Eddy said.
"And look, our jawbreakers," Edd said, pointing to the Eds' jawbreakers, which were sitting on top of the huge candy pile.
"Last one in's a rotten egg!" Ed exclaimed.
The Eds jumped into the candy pile and went to retrieve their jawbreakers.
"Mission accomplished, gentlemen," Edd announced. "I suppose we should find our way back to Peach Creek now."
"Wait. I just thought of somethin'. I bet Stickybeard's got more jawbreakers stashed in here. Why take three of 'em when we can take a thousand?" Eddy suggested.
"Eddy, we can't steal Stickybeard's candy. It's wrong," Edd protested.
"He stole ours first so it's only fair," Eddy argued. "Besides, we're not gonna take all the candy; we just want the jawbreakers."
"More jawbreakers, Double-D!" Ed cheered.
After half an hour of digging around for more jawbreakers, the Eds climbed their way out of the ship's hold and onto the ship's deck. They were carrying the jawbreakers they bought from the candy store and their pockets were stuffed with exotic jawbreakers.
"We'll be slurpin' jawbreakers for weeks," Eddy commented. "So, how do we get off this ship?"
"They should have a lifeboat we can use," Edd replied.
"There it is," Eddy said when he found the ship's lifeboat. "Let's get home before the pirates find us."
The Eds started heading towards the lifeboat but were stopped by a voice.
"Stealin' me treasure, eh?" Stickybeard asked, startling the Eds. They turned around and saw him and his henchmen glaring at them. "That's mutiny on my ship. You three are gonna walk the plank."
"But Plank's not here," Ed protested.
"He's talkin' about that plank, Ed," Eddy corrected, pointing to the area where Stickybeard made his captives walk the plank. "They're gonna throw us off the ship."