Long time no see. I haven't had any motivation to write anything lately but the premier got the gears turning a little bit. I decided to write a one shot to dip my toes back into the fan fic waters, and this was the result. There's not any real plot to this. It's just Linstead about two days after the end of episode. Let me know what you think.
"Hey, Erin." The oldest Halstead brother greeted her from the entrance of Jay's apartment.
"Will." She gave him a slight smirk. "I brought dinner." She motioned to the bag of food in her hand.
"Of course, come in. He's in bed." Will swung the door open wider, and Erin followed him inside towards the kitchen. "Jay, your girl's hear and she brought grub."
Erin could feel all the color drain from her cheeks at the title. His girl. Jay's girl. She wished. It was unnerving how much she wished.
"I brought food. Are you hungry?" The apartment was small enough, and open enough that he could hear her from his bed even though she was now in the kitchen.
"Yeah, sure. Thanks."
"It's on Hank actually. He was gonna have food delivered to you, but I volunteered to bring it instead. It's pasta. I'll make your plate. You can stay there if you want."
"You make her save your ass, and wait on you all in the same week? Are you good for anything little brother?"
"Shut up." Jay laughed.
"Jay said you took a pretty nasty fall. Through a table I hear?" She could tell Jay hadn't let his brother in on what had been going on with her the last few weeks. She was thankful for that.
"Yeah." She played it cool with a small laugh. "Through a glass coffee table. A little sore, but other than that I'm a whole hell of a lot better than Jay."
"Well I'm just saying there is definitely no question who the better looking Halstead brother is now."
"Give it up, Will. I'll always win that competition."
Erin couldn't help the smirk playing on her lips. There was something about the Halstead banter that felt so familiar. Will hadn't been in town back when they were together, but she was sure he knew about her history with Jay. He always gave her a hard time the same way he did his brother, and made her feel included. She felt like she belonged around them. Will noticed her smirk and pulled her into the conversation. "Erin's vote doesn't count. Anyone you bang, or have banged on a regular basis is not an impartial judge."
"Will!" Jay scolded while his older brother sniggered.
Erin moved around Jay's kitchen with ease, getting herself a glass of water along with one to go with Jay's meal. She knew the apartment nearly as well as she knew her own. "I think anyone that scores either Halstead brother isn't doing to bad for herself." She chimed into the conversation.
"I wont argue that. Halstead's have great genes. Speaking of which, Uncle Will has a nice ring to it don't you think, Erin?"
She nearly choked on the drink she'd been taking, Her eyes were wider than they'd ever been, and her cheeks a new shade of red.
"Oh my god, get out of here!" Jay groaned mortified. "Didn't you mention needing to go to the hospital?"
"This is the only time since we were kids that you can't kick my ass. I've gotta take advantage of the opportunity." Will chuckled smug and proud, before turning his attention to Erin. "You'll keep an eye on him? I gotta go check up on a few post ops."
"Yeah, I got him. I'll leave you a plate in the fridge."
"Thank you. Don't fuck this up, Jay; She's a good one!" He yelled as he exited the apartment.
"Sorry about him." Jay apologized when Erin entered the room with his plate.
"No, it's fine. It was all in good fun." She could see his bruises closer up, and he looked even worse then when she'd last seem him in the ambo. Her guilt surfaced.
"Hurts less than it looks." He caught her staring.
She shook her head snapping her self out of her fixation on the blue and purple splotches. "Sorry." She stood a few feet from the bed watching him eat. With Will no longer there to lead the conversation, it was silent and tense. Awkwardness lingered between them.
"You gonna eat too?" Jay finally asked looking up at her.
She nodded towards the kitchen. "I made myself a plate. It's out there."
"Well go get it and sit down." He patted the space beside him.
It definitely wouldn't be the first time they'd ate side by side in his bed. Her mind flashed to memories of them rolling out of bed hungry and spent, throwing on whatever clothes they could easily reach, grabbing a beer and cold slice of pizza, and then going back to his bed to eat it. It had become their routine. He had a perfectly fine kitchen table and comfortable couch, yet sex and food had always happened on Jay's bed when they were together.
Plate of food in hand she took her place beside him on the mattress. Her muscles were rigid and anxious as she did her best to keep to her own side, an accidental shoulder graze her greatest fear.
After a moment of silent chewing, Erin was finally ready to divulge why she had come to see him. "I didn't just come to bring you lunch. I'm sure you probably already knew that, but I wanted to tell you first that I got my badge back. Voight has conditions, but I got it back."
Jay turned and sat his plat onto the bedside table. "I'm happy for you."
"You being taken made me realize I belong in intelligence. I'm a cop. I'm supposed to be a cop, and I'm sorry that that's what it took for me to realize."
"Don't apologize. You saved me, all is forgiven."
"It's not forgiven. It can't be yet, and I know that."
"I forgive you, Erin" he cut her off. "I'm not mad at you anymore. I don't think I ever really was. I was confused and upset, but not mad. I think the only one angry at you is yourself."
"I didn't know how to cope. I took the easy way out and I thought I was stronger than that. I hurt and disappointed everyone that actually gives a shit about me, so you're right, I am mad at myself. I'm pissed, and I'm embarrassed, and guilty and I don't know how to make it better, but I'm gonna figure it out."
"Good." He nodded. "You'll figure it out. I believe in you, Erin. I never stopped."
"Does that mean you're okay with me being your partner again when you come back next week?"
"I told you I was glad it was you they sent in after me because I don't trust anyone else to have my back like I trust you. I'm more than okay with you being my partner again."
She stared at him with tear filled eyes, and all she could think was how perfect he was. He was so good, and she was still bad news, but he made her want to be good too. She wasn't sure what she'd done to deserve him in her life, but she was thankful he was there, no matter what role he was there as.
"You said Voight has conditions? Does he have you on a pretty tight leash?"
"Yeah, you could say that. For starters I live with him full time now. I Sleep in my old room in a twin sized bed that's probably a half a foot shorter than you. We watch jeopardy every night, and for some reason Hank really loves Two and a Half Men reruns. He won't watch any of the newer ones after Charlie Sheen left."
"Sounds like a party." Jay chuckled. He had a hard time picturing Voight enjoying a sit-com.
"I also get drug tested whenever he wants. He made me this morning, and then we just sat at the kitchen table having breakfast, and pretended like a cup of my piss wasn't just sitting there."
"Awe you and Voight having breakfast together. I just hope he cooked." Jay teased.
"Hey! My cooking isn't that bad."
"I mean you make decent toast, I guess."
"I can cook just fine, Jay." She grew defensive. "I do perfectly well for someone that was never taught how."
"Okay, that's true. For someone that was never taught, you cook well. I forgot about the time you made me chicken noodle soup when I was sick last year. That was very good, so I apologize."
"Thanks." She gave a small smile. "That actually relates to Hank's last condition. If I want my badge back I have to uh..." She swallowed and looked down at the plate sitting in her lap. "I have to cut all ties with my mom."
She could hear his audible sigh. "I'm sorry." He reached over and grabbed her hand, and in response she turned her head to meet his gaze. His look was so genuinely apologetic that it pulled on her heart even more.
"It's for the best, right?" She shrugged. "I know it is. It's just she's my mom, ya know? I keep wanting to believe that maybe things will be different, but I know better. This is for the best."
His thumb stroked across her knuckles. "Just because it's for the best, doesn't make it easy."
"It's not easy, but I don't have a choice. I want my badge back." He gave her hand a final comforting squeeze before they heard the dead bolt of the front door click. Will was home. Jay released her hand and Erin stood from the bed. "It's getting dark. I should probably get going before Hank wonders where I'm at. I start tomorrow and want to be on as good of terms as possible with him."
"Yeah, I could use a nap anyways. Didn't sleep well last night. Couldn't get comfortable."
She walked around to his side of the bed to take his plate from the nightstand. "Enjoy your nap and heal up. I'll see you when you come back next week."
"Or if you get bored under house arrest, you could always come over and hang out this week. Will made it obvious he wouldn't mind."
A grin slipped onto her lips as she nodded. "Okay, I will."
His grin rivaled hers. "Good. Then I guess I'll see you soon, partner."
"Good bye, Jay." She threw the paper plates away in the kitchen where Will was grabbing a beer from the fridge.
"Don't be a stranger, we like having you around. He really loves having you around." Will spoke low so only she could hear.
"Yeah, I really love being here too." She exited the apartment, her grin never faltering, feeling higher than any drugs had made her feel in the last three weeks.