Disclaimer: I own nothing,
JiMmy and JohNny love.
This is dedicated to Eddy_Toast, you go girl!
This is slash/mXm/maleXmale love. If you don't like, fuck off. If you like, read.
~~~~~~
Face full of dirt
~~~~~~
I was bored. My god was I ever bored. I had now, just decided that my life could not get anymore boring than this. Here I was, the city's most elusive killer, sitting in the library, being bored to death by an old women droning on and on about ancient cultures younger then she. Infact, I would rather be in a tank full of horrible flesh eating piranha. Hell, I'd rather be stuck in a room with Jimmy for a year getting ass raped, then sit here, waiting for my next kill to show a good opportunity. Which, so far, was very far away.
I was getting antsy. I felt like I was going to just fucking snap and kill everyone. Especially that stupid child staring at me. Those... Huge eyes, full of hope, wonder and innocence. Made me fucking sick to the core to believe I was like that once. If only when I was three. After that I recall being tainted by life's harsh realities. Whores, killers, Jesus freaks, racial discrimination groups, thieves and idiots. Hypocrites, druggies, drunks and politicians with attitudes. Not much phases me any more. How can it? It's all the same damn game. Life is just a game, when you playing it frame by mother fucking frame. Especially when you've played the game over and over, it gets boring and old real quick, and you learn to save your money for a newer version of the same game.
A flash of black against the colorful array of people catches my eyes' attention. A bit taller then the rest of the group. I blink and stand, following that which has so obviously caught my eye. I watch the blur run past the children's section, then into the back book room. I can't help but follow. Something like this doesn't happen everyday. But hell, only a handful of people would notice something odd. People are so fucking stupid. And why the fuck would this one run about like a lunatic on steroids?
I got into the back room, half expecting to see an easy kill, or half expecting to see a meeting going on. Neither or. There was only an empty room, and a wide open door facing the back entrance only delivery boys used. As I walked out the back, I recalled a year ago I had killed a few delivery boys here. That was fun because they screamed oh so loud, begging for mercy, as I slowly would peel their skin off after burning it to a crisp with a lighter. I fed their flesh to the dogs on the street. My smile returned, but faded just as quickly as it arose. For Jimmy was standing a few good yards away from me, leaning on the nearest tree, smoking and shielding his face from the cold harsh wind of fall.
"Jimmy?" No answer, he didn't even look up at me to acknowledge my existence like he normally does. Usually by this time he'd have told me how fucking great I am or some shit, but no. He just stood there. Smoking and ignoring me.
"Damn it Jimmy, look at me." And so he did, ever so slowly. His eyes locked with mine. They didn't have their normal usual glow to them. Today, they were dull, and full of hurt, anguish, doubt, and hopelessness. One other thing was there. Reality.
"Hey." I blinked. His voice was dull, monotone and had no emotion what so ever. I walked over, more then slightly confused, and stood next to him. the second I came close, he began to walk forwards, into the forest behind the library. He appeared to be avoiding me. I had to move quickly to catch up with him. Boy was he fast when he was avoiding some one. Wait, why would avoid me? He fucking idolized me. That in it self sorta scares me. He's one of the few I spare. The whole dying and coming back thing kind of complicated things.
"What the fuck is your problem?" He stopped suddenly, and I nearly smacked into a tree. I ignored the fact my knee came into contact with it, and shooed away the hard sting that etched it's way through my leg. My eye twitched as I looked at him. He shrugged then shook his head sighing.
"You fucking wouldn't care, Johnny." Then he darted away to the left, deeper into the forest running as fast as his thin legs could let him. I gave chase, feeling a thrill I haven't felt for ages. It's been like a month since I ran last. Since I last killed something.
"Fucker! Get back here damnit!" Deeper and deeper we went into the forest, so fucking deep that I lost him, and got lost and had to stop. God damn it. I'll fucking kill him for this. My directional skills weren't as good as a bird's were. So, now I am fucked. I am lost in a deep dark cold forest. With out any of my 'tools' except for my jack knife and a mini fan. Oh yes, when and if Jimmy decides to attack me, I can blow him away with a fucking mini fan. Yeah, real smart Johnny.
"Ah great." I mumbled, then I hear rustling behind me, and before I have time to respond, I am lying face down on the ground. My face pushed into a mass of grass. I feel a large frail body, light weight, sit on my back and pin me down. By the smell of smoke and faint sex, I can tell it's Jimmy. Plus he smells like peanut butter and jam.
"Get the fuck off me!" I struggle to free my self, but stop immediately. Not because there is a knife at my throat, not because I felt a hand gagging me, but because I feel something soft and warm pressed up against the back of my neck. No, two somethings. It takes a few seconds for me to register those are lips. Lips on the back of my neck. Soft, sensational lips, nibbling and caressing the skin on my neck. Jimmy's lips... That is when I start to freak out immensely. I begin to squirm away, well I try to.
"Fighting will only excite me more Johnny. You've taught me that." Boy if I could see his face I'd... Then, I am roughly flipped over, my hips are slammed against the dampening ground, and Jimmy sits in my lap. He leans over me, holding my wrists above my head with only one hand, the other I can't see.
"Jimmy, I am warning you once. You hear me? Once." He didn't flinch like he normally does. He just, sat there, staring into my eyes with a dejected look. I'll fucking kill him. Murder him, slice open his throat and feed him to the dogs if he...
He leaned in and kissed my neck, then my collar bone, stopping and suckling, then going back to my neck. I wreath and moan, switching modes completely. Fuck fuck fuck went to fuck fuck fuck. But the previous was in rage, the ladder was of lust. He was nibbling at my Adams apple, and licking every part of my neck and ears. God the cover was horribly wrong, yet the contents were oh so right. In other words; it looks so wrong but it feels so right. So very, very wrong. Or was it? I know it's wrong to kill, that's why I enjoy it so. But this, God, it's supposed to be wrong even for me.
"Jimmy..." I was cut off again, only half way through his name. The menacing tone I was using turned into that of a Skool girl being turned to mush by a manly man. The reason; A long tongue was circling around my collar bone like a shark, eating every little fishy nerve. My eyes slid closed, I arched my back, my head lent back, touching the ground as I moaned and mewed like a kitten. God be damned if I could see myself now. I'd be wielding my chain saw, and hack myself to fucking pieces for letting Jimmy, of all people, dominate me. Then I'd hack Jimmy to pieces. Or, get dominated again because I was jealous of myself. Well that would be ironically stupid. And since when did I get jealous of other people touching my Jimmy?
...
My Jimmy? Ok, my mind is defiantly not all there. This all going through my mind must have only been a few second because Jimmy had stopped to breathe and whisper, shakily.
"Warning me? For what? What is my warning for Johnny?" Fuck! The way he says my name makes me feel like that classic Guy from the sixties in that stupid Cadillac on Lovers Leap, and Jimmy the preppy Skool girl everyone loves. Considering I am far from a jock, and mostly everyone hates us. He had continued and, God, why is his tongue so fucking good. I feel like I'll fucking cum right in my pants if this keeps up.
"Oh Jesus, that feels good, lower." hadn't even realized I had said that out loud, because the feeling on my neck disappeared, and I could feel my shirt being tugged at, followed by a grow with lust backing it up, then a clink noise, then a ripping sound of my shirt being torn off my chest. Afterwards I was left lying on a very cold and damp patch of grass, my shirt went flying a good yard or two away from us, then Jimmy's tongue and sweet warm mouth was back at it, only moving dangerously close to my left nipple. Or was it my right. Fuck, I was never good with these type of things.
"Well well. Seems as though you can loose your cool like a nervous teenaged girl meeting a man for the first time that isn't her daddy." Oooohh that hit a button inside of me, and I was on Jimmy right away. I had launched myself on top of him, straddling his hips and growling like a starving dog. My right (or left) hand was around his neck the second his head hit the grass, the other, which ever side it happened to be, was holding my forgotten jack knife very close to his neck. I licked my lips, my face, I knew, showed no fear, though I still was as fucking horny as a dog in heat. Why am I referring to myself as a damned dog? Ah fuck it.
"Do not. Ever. Call me. A. Fucking. Girl. Ever. Again." I pressed that knife into his neck, but sliced softly, only getting a small amount of blood flow before my head swooped in and lapped at the juncture of his neck and jaw. My eyes clouded over again, shutting off the world around me. Mmmmm this doesn't taste like normal blood. This tastes like a bitter sweet jam, laced with an array of drugs and nicotine. Hm... Jimmy must have taken up smoking a while back. Again. My loins were so fucking hot, they felt as if I was going melt my leather pants right off and burn from the inside out like a wanker dog being over cooked in the microwave till it exploded. His body went rigid, and I looked down at him. Now I saw fear in Jimmy's eyes, but only for a second.
"Cut me deeper Nny," he gasped and his eyes rolled backwards. "Please, end it. I, I am sorry I failed you." I blinked. What the hell. How did he fail me? End what? Cut deeper. Oh god how I had wanted to kill him so many times before, and I did so many times, but now when he's asking for it, it's no fun. He wants to die. Plus, apart of me knows I could never really kill him, again. I pushed his head back roughly, and leaned in, nose to nose, sweaty forehead pressed against sweaty forehead.
"Failed me? How the hell did you fail me Mmy?" His eyes recollect themselves in an less then orderly manner, but it suffices enough so he can see me.
"I- I can't do this anymore. Not alone. I'm weak. I can't be like this." My eyes narrowed and my nose crinkles up. A part of my is screaming to make him feel better, while another warns this may be some ploy to kill me. Stupid paranoid habit of mine.
"What do you mean? Is this some sort of trick..." I end my sentence there, and Jimmy starts to cry. My God. He's breaking down beneath me, crying like a baby. Soon babbling surfaces from his noise tube in waves of confusing crushing nonsense. Well nonsense because I can't understand what the hell he's saying.
"I-I-failed. I-can't-do-this-anymore-Johnny. It's-eating-away-at-me. Please-make-it-stop. Oh-God-make-the-pain-stop. I-can't-be-you, I-know-I-can't.-I'm-weak-and-poor.I-suck-at-killing-I-can't-do-it-right-I-I-I-..."
"Stop it right there Jimmy. Now, please slow down, and I might understand you. All I got out of that was I can't do this anymore. I'm alone. I am weak and I can't be like this. Now, slow down and repeat yourself." He choked back a sob, and for the first time, I didn't feel the need to crush the life out of a weakling for crying. I felt like I cared. Wow, that's a big word for me. Caring about somebody. He repeated himself, slow and as clearly as he could without breaking down again. When he finished though, he did break down again, pressing his face onto my shirtless chest, nuzzling me like a frighten puppy. Again with the dog description. I got to think higher of myself and Jimmy. Then again, we're fucking killers and rapists and have no morals. Well, save for raping small children That is wrong no matter what. I made sure to drill that into Jimmy's head when I knew I couldn't get rid of him.
"I know you think I am weak... Please. Kill me Johnny..." My eye twitched as his slid shut. Oh how I wanted to kill him. But as I said before, it's no fun when given consent.
"No, Jimmy, I am not going to kill you." There was another reason behind that, but I'd rather not think about it. Considering the voices in my head decided to go away for today. I felt a bit nervous with out the voices to guide me. I noticed my face was getting pretty damned close to Jimmy's sobbed filled one. His tears were getting my chest wet. It was sort of burning the cuts there, but it felt oddly soothing.
"Liar. All of you are liars and-" That's it. Fuck it. He's fucking pissing me off and if I don't do at least this, I'll end up sending him right back to hell, for the forth or fifth time. Not that it'll matter, he'll just came back anyway. I leaned in and kissed him, as hard as I could. I held onto his head with my left hand. Or right. The other on his waist holding him to me. This felt so nice, but why was I kissing him? Well, what ever the reason, it feels good and I like it. My loins are burning more now. More then when I was in hell. God, nothing could burn this much. Jimmy was fighting me a first. Ironically enough, he was the one who started this, and likes raping people.
"Shhhh, see? I wont hurt you..." With that I leaned in kissed him again. He bit my tongue and God that nearly made me shove that knife into his side, but, I am a gluten for punishment. More so when I give it.
"No. No no no! You will! Everyone does. Nobody cares. No one-" I shoved myself up and sat on my heals, bringing my arm out and rubbing where my sleeves had been. I stared at him, his eyes locked on my arm as I brought the knife towards my wrist.
"I'll prove it to you. I've only committed suicide once, and that because I didn't want to deal with life. In the end, I got sent back here." Slowly, I cut into my wrist and slashed upwards, instead of the traditional (and less effective) way to kill yourself. This would ensure a quick death. I slid it upwards about a centimeter before I felt a shaky hand grasp my arm.
"No. Enough. Please don't leave me again..." I looked at him. Apparently I had gotten through. Through to and what, and with I don't know. The voices have come back to help me, thank God. Voice number two says I should pounce Jimmy and fuck him right there. I shuddered at the mere image of Jimmy naked and wreathing beneath me.
That would be great.
I hadn't even realized Jimmy had taken off his shirt and ripped off a strip of it to tie around my self inflicted wound. When I did, I saw Jimmy had just sat there half naked in front of me, holding himself and had backed away as far as he could, against an old oak tree. I blinked, my gaze switching from my wrist to his image against the tree. He was shaking. I never saw him shake before today. Slowly I crawled towards him, leaving my knife were I was once sitting. My hand slowly went up to his face, cupping it gently, tilting it so I could see his eyes. He looked so miserable. So ashamed. So broken. I'd have to help fix him.
"Jimmy, shh." With that, I lent in and gave him a soft kiss on his cheeks, each one, the his forehead. He blinked and looked up at me, his shaking had subsided.
"You swear you'll never hurt me again Johnny?" I nodded. I felt something rise in me at the thought myself hurting him. It wasn't the happy feeling. A disgusted with myself feeling.
"I promise, Jimmy. The only thing I have to give you is my word. That isn't good enough. So, I'll give you my..." I faltered. Ok, now what? Voice number two is telling me to give him my cock and make him suck it. No, that wont work. Voice number three tells me I should kill someone for him, but then again, voice number three always says that. Voice number five is trying to wake up voice number four so it can say something. Fuck it, voice number one just gave me the best idea.
"My heart, Jimmy. My heart. Before you say I don't have one, let me show you how much I care." Those were the exact words that voice number one had said. The rest shut right up and decided to let voice one take over.
"You, you mean it?" He sniffled and he grinned when I did. I'm guessing we're not finished yet, because I lean in and kiss him again, both my hands, left and right, hold onto his face. My knee slowly pushes it's way between his, parting his legs for me slowly. Out all the countless crimes I've committed, being ruthless and evil. This just takes the cake. I was being nice, asking for consent. Odd, I wonder how tight he is...
"Johnny..." I stop and look at him, he smiles. I quirk a brow in questioning.
"Yes?"
"I, I..."
"Never fucked with a guy before?"
"No, that's not it. I just have been on the receiving end. Will it hurt?" I stopped to think.
"Um... Yeah, it will, but only if your not relaxed. Be laid back, so to speak. Ah, puns are stupid."
"Yes they are." He laughed and then we definitely got serious. We both had enough of this creepy mushy thing called love, though in a way this was lust. A sick, sadistic lust.
~~~~~
If you like this, tell all your friends about it, if you don't, tell me and I'll laugh at you.
The NC-17 version is here:
hosted.shacknet.nu/saphire/Facefullofdirt.htm
A/N: I noticed a lack of Jimmy and Johnny slash fics, hell I only have met one other person who likes it. That is Eddy_Toast, she got me to like this couple. It's cute in a sick way. By the way, SadisticLust, which is what I refered to at the end, my last two words of the fic, was refering to her Yahoo group name. It's for JV slash and EEnE slash. Mwa!
Her group is here:
groups.yahoo.com/group/Sadistic_Lust/
JiMmy and JohNny love.
This is dedicated to Eddy_Toast, you go girl!
This is slash/mXm/maleXmale love. If you don't like, fuck off. If you like, read.
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Face full of dirt
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I was bored. My god was I ever bored. I had now, just decided that my life could not get anymore boring than this. Here I was, the city's most elusive killer, sitting in the library, being bored to death by an old women droning on and on about ancient cultures younger then she. Infact, I would rather be in a tank full of horrible flesh eating piranha. Hell, I'd rather be stuck in a room with Jimmy for a year getting ass raped, then sit here, waiting for my next kill to show a good opportunity. Which, so far, was very far away.
I was getting antsy. I felt like I was going to just fucking snap and kill everyone. Especially that stupid child staring at me. Those... Huge eyes, full of hope, wonder and innocence. Made me fucking sick to the core to believe I was like that once. If only when I was three. After that I recall being tainted by life's harsh realities. Whores, killers, Jesus freaks, racial discrimination groups, thieves and idiots. Hypocrites, druggies, drunks and politicians with attitudes. Not much phases me any more. How can it? It's all the same damn game. Life is just a game, when you playing it frame by mother fucking frame. Especially when you've played the game over and over, it gets boring and old real quick, and you learn to save your money for a newer version of the same game.
A flash of black against the colorful array of people catches my eyes' attention. A bit taller then the rest of the group. I blink and stand, following that which has so obviously caught my eye. I watch the blur run past the children's section, then into the back book room. I can't help but follow. Something like this doesn't happen everyday. But hell, only a handful of people would notice something odd. People are so fucking stupid. And why the fuck would this one run about like a lunatic on steroids?
I got into the back room, half expecting to see an easy kill, or half expecting to see a meeting going on. Neither or. There was only an empty room, and a wide open door facing the back entrance only delivery boys used. As I walked out the back, I recalled a year ago I had killed a few delivery boys here. That was fun because they screamed oh so loud, begging for mercy, as I slowly would peel their skin off after burning it to a crisp with a lighter. I fed their flesh to the dogs on the street. My smile returned, but faded just as quickly as it arose. For Jimmy was standing a few good yards away from me, leaning on the nearest tree, smoking and shielding his face from the cold harsh wind of fall.
"Jimmy?" No answer, he didn't even look up at me to acknowledge my existence like he normally does. Usually by this time he'd have told me how fucking great I am or some shit, but no. He just stood there. Smoking and ignoring me.
"Damn it Jimmy, look at me." And so he did, ever so slowly. His eyes locked with mine. They didn't have their normal usual glow to them. Today, they were dull, and full of hurt, anguish, doubt, and hopelessness. One other thing was there. Reality.
"Hey." I blinked. His voice was dull, monotone and had no emotion what so ever. I walked over, more then slightly confused, and stood next to him. the second I came close, he began to walk forwards, into the forest behind the library. He appeared to be avoiding me. I had to move quickly to catch up with him. Boy was he fast when he was avoiding some one. Wait, why would avoid me? He fucking idolized me. That in it self sorta scares me. He's one of the few I spare. The whole dying and coming back thing kind of complicated things.
"What the fuck is your problem?" He stopped suddenly, and I nearly smacked into a tree. I ignored the fact my knee came into contact with it, and shooed away the hard sting that etched it's way through my leg. My eye twitched as I looked at him. He shrugged then shook his head sighing.
"You fucking wouldn't care, Johnny." Then he darted away to the left, deeper into the forest running as fast as his thin legs could let him. I gave chase, feeling a thrill I haven't felt for ages. It's been like a month since I ran last. Since I last killed something.
"Fucker! Get back here damnit!" Deeper and deeper we went into the forest, so fucking deep that I lost him, and got lost and had to stop. God damn it. I'll fucking kill him for this. My directional skills weren't as good as a bird's were. So, now I am fucked. I am lost in a deep dark cold forest. With out any of my 'tools' except for my jack knife and a mini fan. Oh yes, when and if Jimmy decides to attack me, I can blow him away with a fucking mini fan. Yeah, real smart Johnny.
"Ah great." I mumbled, then I hear rustling behind me, and before I have time to respond, I am lying face down on the ground. My face pushed into a mass of grass. I feel a large frail body, light weight, sit on my back and pin me down. By the smell of smoke and faint sex, I can tell it's Jimmy. Plus he smells like peanut butter and jam.
"Get the fuck off me!" I struggle to free my self, but stop immediately. Not because there is a knife at my throat, not because I felt a hand gagging me, but because I feel something soft and warm pressed up against the back of my neck. No, two somethings. It takes a few seconds for me to register those are lips. Lips on the back of my neck. Soft, sensational lips, nibbling and caressing the skin on my neck. Jimmy's lips... That is when I start to freak out immensely. I begin to squirm away, well I try to.
"Fighting will only excite me more Johnny. You've taught me that." Boy if I could see his face I'd... Then, I am roughly flipped over, my hips are slammed against the dampening ground, and Jimmy sits in my lap. He leans over me, holding my wrists above my head with only one hand, the other I can't see.
"Jimmy, I am warning you once. You hear me? Once." He didn't flinch like he normally does. He just, sat there, staring into my eyes with a dejected look. I'll fucking kill him. Murder him, slice open his throat and feed him to the dogs if he...
He leaned in and kissed my neck, then my collar bone, stopping and suckling, then going back to my neck. I wreath and moan, switching modes completely. Fuck fuck fuck went to fuck fuck fuck. But the previous was in rage, the ladder was of lust. He was nibbling at my Adams apple, and licking every part of my neck and ears. God the cover was horribly wrong, yet the contents were oh so right. In other words; it looks so wrong but it feels so right. So very, very wrong. Or was it? I know it's wrong to kill, that's why I enjoy it so. But this, God, it's supposed to be wrong even for me.
"Jimmy..." I was cut off again, only half way through his name. The menacing tone I was using turned into that of a Skool girl being turned to mush by a manly man. The reason; A long tongue was circling around my collar bone like a shark, eating every little fishy nerve. My eyes slid closed, I arched my back, my head lent back, touching the ground as I moaned and mewed like a kitten. God be damned if I could see myself now. I'd be wielding my chain saw, and hack myself to fucking pieces for letting Jimmy, of all people, dominate me. Then I'd hack Jimmy to pieces. Or, get dominated again because I was jealous of myself. Well that would be ironically stupid. And since when did I get jealous of other people touching my Jimmy?
...
My Jimmy? Ok, my mind is defiantly not all there. This all going through my mind must have only been a few second because Jimmy had stopped to breathe and whisper, shakily.
"Warning me? For what? What is my warning for Johnny?" Fuck! The way he says my name makes me feel like that classic Guy from the sixties in that stupid Cadillac on Lovers Leap, and Jimmy the preppy Skool girl everyone loves. Considering I am far from a jock, and mostly everyone hates us. He had continued and, God, why is his tongue so fucking good. I feel like I'll fucking cum right in my pants if this keeps up.
"Oh Jesus, that feels good, lower." hadn't even realized I had said that out loud, because the feeling on my neck disappeared, and I could feel my shirt being tugged at, followed by a grow with lust backing it up, then a clink noise, then a ripping sound of my shirt being torn off my chest. Afterwards I was left lying on a very cold and damp patch of grass, my shirt went flying a good yard or two away from us, then Jimmy's tongue and sweet warm mouth was back at it, only moving dangerously close to my left nipple. Or was it my right. Fuck, I was never good with these type of things.
"Well well. Seems as though you can loose your cool like a nervous teenaged girl meeting a man for the first time that isn't her daddy." Oooohh that hit a button inside of me, and I was on Jimmy right away. I had launched myself on top of him, straddling his hips and growling like a starving dog. My right (or left) hand was around his neck the second his head hit the grass, the other, which ever side it happened to be, was holding my forgotten jack knife very close to his neck. I licked my lips, my face, I knew, showed no fear, though I still was as fucking horny as a dog in heat. Why am I referring to myself as a damned dog? Ah fuck it.
"Do not. Ever. Call me. A. Fucking. Girl. Ever. Again." I pressed that knife into his neck, but sliced softly, only getting a small amount of blood flow before my head swooped in and lapped at the juncture of his neck and jaw. My eyes clouded over again, shutting off the world around me. Mmmmm this doesn't taste like normal blood. This tastes like a bitter sweet jam, laced with an array of drugs and nicotine. Hm... Jimmy must have taken up smoking a while back. Again. My loins were so fucking hot, they felt as if I was going melt my leather pants right off and burn from the inside out like a wanker dog being over cooked in the microwave till it exploded. His body went rigid, and I looked down at him. Now I saw fear in Jimmy's eyes, but only for a second.
"Cut me deeper Nny," he gasped and his eyes rolled backwards. "Please, end it. I, I am sorry I failed you." I blinked. What the hell. How did he fail me? End what? Cut deeper. Oh god how I had wanted to kill him so many times before, and I did so many times, but now when he's asking for it, it's no fun. He wants to die. Plus, apart of me knows I could never really kill him, again. I pushed his head back roughly, and leaned in, nose to nose, sweaty forehead pressed against sweaty forehead.
"Failed me? How the hell did you fail me Mmy?" His eyes recollect themselves in an less then orderly manner, but it suffices enough so he can see me.
"I- I can't do this anymore. Not alone. I'm weak. I can't be like this." My eyes narrowed and my nose crinkles up. A part of my is screaming to make him feel better, while another warns this may be some ploy to kill me. Stupid paranoid habit of mine.
"What do you mean? Is this some sort of trick..." I end my sentence there, and Jimmy starts to cry. My God. He's breaking down beneath me, crying like a baby. Soon babbling surfaces from his noise tube in waves of confusing crushing nonsense. Well nonsense because I can't understand what the hell he's saying.
"I-I-failed. I-can't-do-this-anymore-Johnny. It's-eating-away-at-me. Please-make-it-stop. Oh-God-make-the-pain-stop. I-can't-be-you, I-know-I-can't.-I'm-weak-and-poor.I-suck-at-killing-I-can't-do-it-right-I-I-I-..."
"Stop it right there Jimmy. Now, please slow down, and I might understand you. All I got out of that was I can't do this anymore. I'm alone. I am weak and I can't be like this. Now, slow down and repeat yourself." He choked back a sob, and for the first time, I didn't feel the need to crush the life out of a weakling for crying. I felt like I cared. Wow, that's a big word for me. Caring about somebody. He repeated himself, slow and as clearly as he could without breaking down again. When he finished though, he did break down again, pressing his face onto my shirtless chest, nuzzling me like a frighten puppy. Again with the dog description. I got to think higher of myself and Jimmy. Then again, we're fucking killers and rapists and have no morals. Well, save for raping small children That is wrong no matter what. I made sure to drill that into Jimmy's head when I knew I couldn't get rid of him.
"I know you think I am weak... Please. Kill me Johnny..." My eye twitched as his slid shut. Oh how I wanted to kill him. But as I said before, it's no fun when given consent.
"No, Jimmy, I am not going to kill you." There was another reason behind that, but I'd rather not think about it. Considering the voices in my head decided to go away for today. I felt a bit nervous with out the voices to guide me. I noticed my face was getting pretty damned close to Jimmy's sobbed filled one. His tears were getting my chest wet. It was sort of burning the cuts there, but it felt oddly soothing.
"Liar. All of you are liars and-" That's it. Fuck it. He's fucking pissing me off and if I don't do at least this, I'll end up sending him right back to hell, for the forth or fifth time. Not that it'll matter, he'll just came back anyway. I leaned in and kissed him, as hard as I could. I held onto his head with my left hand. Or right. The other on his waist holding him to me. This felt so nice, but why was I kissing him? Well, what ever the reason, it feels good and I like it. My loins are burning more now. More then when I was in hell. God, nothing could burn this much. Jimmy was fighting me a first. Ironically enough, he was the one who started this, and likes raping people.
"Shhhh, see? I wont hurt you..." With that I leaned in kissed him again. He bit my tongue and God that nearly made me shove that knife into his side, but, I am a gluten for punishment. More so when I give it.
"No. No no no! You will! Everyone does. Nobody cares. No one-" I shoved myself up and sat on my heals, bringing my arm out and rubbing where my sleeves had been. I stared at him, his eyes locked on my arm as I brought the knife towards my wrist.
"I'll prove it to you. I've only committed suicide once, and that because I didn't want to deal with life. In the end, I got sent back here." Slowly, I cut into my wrist and slashed upwards, instead of the traditional (and less effective) way to kill yourself. This would ensure a quick death. I slid it upwards about a centimeter before I felt a shaky hand grasp my arm.
"No. Enough. Please don't leave me again..." I looked at him. Apparently I had gotten through. Through to and what, and with I don't know. The voices have come back to help me, thank God. Voice number two says I should pounce Jimmy and fuck him right there. I shuddered at the mere image of Jimmy naked and wreathing beneath me.
That would be great.
I hadn't even realized Jimmy had taken off his shirt and ripped off a strip of it to tie around my self inflicted wound. When I did, I saw Jimmy had just sat there half naked in front of me, holding himself and had backed away as far as he could, against an old oak tree. I blinked, my gaze switching from my wrist to his image against the tree. He was shaking. I never saw him shake before today. Slowly I crawled towards him, leaving my knife were I was once sitting. My hand slowly went up to his face, cupping it gently, tilting it so I could see his eyes. He looked so miserable. So ashamed. So broken. I'd have to help fix him.
"Jimmy, shh." With that, I lent in and gave him a soft kiss on his cheeks, each one, the his forehead. He blinked and looked up at me, his shaking had subsided.
"You swear you'll never hurt me again Johnny?" I nodded. I felt something rise in me at the thought myself hurting him. It wasn't the happy feeling. A disgusted with myself feeling.
"I promise, Jimmy. The only thing I have to give you is my word. That isn't good enough. So, I'll give you my..." I faltered. Ok, now what? Voice number two is telling me to give him my cock and make him suck it. No, that wont work. Voice number three tells me I should kill someone for him, but then again, voice number three always says that. Voice number five is trying to wake up voice number four so it can say something. Fuck it, voice number one just gave me the best idea.
"My heart, Jimmy. My heart. Before you say I don't have one, let me show you how much I care." Those were the exact words that voice number one had said. The rest shut right up and decided to let voice one take over.
"You, you mean it?" He sniffled and he grinned when I did. I'm guessing we're not finished yet, because I lean in and kiss him again, both my hands, left and right, hold onto his face. My knee slowly pushes it's way between his, parting his legs for me slowly. Out all the countless crimes I've committed, being ruthless and evil. This just takes the cake. I was being nice, asking for consent. Odd, I wonder how tight he is...
"Johnny..." I stop and look at him, he smiles. I quirk a brow in questioning.
"Yes?"
"I, I..."
"Never fucked with a guy before?"
"No, that's not it. I just have been on the receiving end. Will it hurt?" I stopped to think.
"Um... Yeah, it will, but only if your not relaxed. Be laid back, so to speak. Ah, puns are stupid."
"Yes they are." He laughed and then we definitely got serious. We both had enough of this creepy mushy thing called love, though in a way this was lust. A sick, sadistic lust.
~~~~~
If you like this, tell all your friends about it, if you don't, tell me and I'll laugh at you.
The NC-17 version is here:
hosted.shacknet.nu/saphire/Facefullofdirt.htm
A/N: I noticed a lack of Jimmy and Johnny slash fics, hell I only have met one other person who likes it. That is Eddy_Toast, she got me to like this couple. It's cute in a sick way. By the way, SadisticLust, which is what I refered to at the end, my last two words of the fic, was refering to her Yahoo group name. It's for JV slash and EEnE slash. Mwa!
Her group is here:
groups.yahoo.com/group/Sadistic_Lust/