Stuck on You
By J.C. Vascardi
-o-0-o-
Disclaimer: All characters and places featured in this story that relate to Harry Potter are the property of J.K. Rowling, various publishers, and Warner Brothers. I'm not profiting on this story and it is not my intent to infringe on anyone's copyright or trademark. The only things about this story that I own are the characters and storylines not featured in the books.
Pairing: Harry Potter/Cormac McLaggen
Summary: Harry and Cormac have an unfortunate encounter with superglue compliments of one Teddy Lupin.
Notes: This was written in response to a challenge by Kamerreon on her Yahoo! group. She wanted a fic in which two characters had sex, but it wasn't perfect, as happens in many stories. So, basically, not the best sex ever, but sex the characters will never forget. She mentioned superglue as one possibility in her write up of the challenge and this was my imagination's take on that. Enjoy.
-o-0-o-
Harry was not a happy camper. With his life's tendency to go horribly wrong, he perhaps should have expected something like this, especially after the shampoo incident last week, but he had never seen this coming.
"Harry, when I said I wanted us to be closer, this really isn't what I had in mind."
"Don't look at me like that Cormac, it's not my fault!"
"Really? You're the one who left the lube on the nightstand, Harry."
"And I was supposed to know that Teddy was going to put superglue in it, how?"
"Four words, Harry: your shampoo, last week."
Harry groaned. He wasn't about to admit it, but Cormac was right. Teddy was going through a prank everyone in sight stage. Although after the dressing down Harry had given him last week for putting hot sauce in Mrs. Weasley's treacle tart and for putting the superglue in his shampoo, he'd hoped Teddy would stop. Of course, in retrospect, it might have been a good idea if he'd waited to yell at Teddy until after Madam Pomfrey got his hands unstuck.
"Oh Merlin," Harry said, blushing at the thought of her reaction to this latest predicament.
Cormac, of course, saw the blush and had a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. "Harry, please tell me that you remember the charm that Madam Pomfrey used to separate your hands from your hair."
Harry at least had the grace to look ashamed as he gulped and said, "No, I was too busy yelling at Teddy to pay attention to what she cast."
"Harry, I don't suppose you thought to use a condom did you?" Cormac asked in a hopeful tone, because that'd make getting out of this mess just a little bit easier. He'd still have a condom stuck in his arse, but that would be less embarrassing than having Harry stuck in his arse.
"Um, about that, I kind of forgot where I put the condoms, actually."
"Great, just great," Cormac muttered. "This is my worst nightmare."
"It's not that bad, is it?"
"Harry, Madam Pomfrey is about to see us naked. With your dick stuck in my arse. So, yes, it bloody well is that bad."
Harry groaned again. Once again Cormac was right, but Harry sure as hell wasn't going to admit that. His lover's head was already too big and he knew that admitting to Cormac he was right was sure to make it swell more. Honestly, if that happened, the entire population of Wizarding Britain would need to move because there wouldn't be room for them next to Cormac's ego.
So, instead, Harry said, "I hope they allow conjugal visits at Azkaban."
"Why?"
"Because that's where we'll be doing this from now on, after I kill Teddy."
"You're welcome to kill Teddy for this, Harry - if you can find some way to bring him back to life after I kill him that is. Oh and by the way, love, from now on, I'm topping."
-o-0-o-
The End