"This isn't going to work," Hobbes said, looking at himself in the mirror.
He was wearing a baseball cap, orange shirt, and a blue jacket, "I'm not
wearing pants."
Calvin groaned and slapped himself on the forehead, then he started taking off his pants, "Here," he said, throwing the pants at Hobbes, "Wear pants!"
The pants hit Hobbes in the face and he fell over backwards.
"CALVIN! Come on! Let's Go! Your going to miss the bus!"
"Hurry!" Calvin shrieked, "Before mom comes! Get the pants on!"
"Now wait, which way is front?"
Calvin stormed over and pointed, "This way! The zipper part goes in the front! And you're not going to get anywhere with both legs in one pant leg!"
"What do I do with my tail?"
"I don't know, just stick it down your pant leg! Just hurry!"
"It'll hang out the bottom."
"CAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLVVVVVVVVVVIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNN!!!!"
"AH! She's coming up the stairs! Hurry!" He pushed some books into Hobbes arms
"Calvin!! Get DOWN HERE!! NOW!"
"GO!" Calvin shoved Hobbes out the door and slammed it behind him, then he dove under the bed.
"Come on! Why are you standing there let's go!" Mom said to Hobbes, clapping her hands.
Hobbes ducked his head and ran past Mom, down the stairs, and out the door.
Calvin crawled out from under the bed, it worked! It finally worked! Hobbes was going to school and Calvin could stay home! HORRAY! Calvin pulled another pair of pants on then flopped down on his bed to read comic books.
Hours later, Calvin heard the bus coming up his street. An idea struck him. With an evil grin he snuck down the stairs and crouched near the door. He would finally get back at Hobbes for all those times he had pounced him when Calvin came home from school. When the door opened Calvin sprung up toward Hobbes. Hobbes stepped aside and Calvin flew by him and into a nearby bush.
Hobbes pointed at him and laughed, "Only tigers can do that. We have better reflexes."
Still sitting in the bush Calvin rolled up his sleeve and made a fist and said, "You wanna come over and tell that to my face?"
Without warning Hobbes pounced and started fighting with Calvin. "OW! Leggo!"
"Not Fair!"
"Stop Biting!"
"Bug off Fuz Face!"
After a few minutes they both lay panting on the ground and the bush was destroyed.
"Mom's not going to be happy about her rose bush." Hobbes said
"Yeah, I know, come on let's get out of here, we could throw pine cones at Suzie." Calvin sat up and started picking thorns and sticks out if his hair and clothes.
"Sorry, no can do"
"Why? That's violating G.R.O.S.S. rules!"
"I think you make up rules as you go."
"Do not!" Calvin said.
"Do too!" Hobbes said
"Do not!" Calvin.
"Do too!" Hobbes
"Do not!" Calvin.
"Do not!" Hobbes.
"Do too!" Calvin said, "Wait. Hey!"
"Anyway, I've got to go do my homework."
"Homework? You'd rather do homework than play with me?!"
"Doing homework impresses the school babes."
"I don't want to impress school babes! Babes are gross! I demand that you don't do that homework!"
"But I don't want to get a bad reputation."
"Hey that's may bad reputation you're talking about buster! Wait, you don't want to get a bad reputation, does that mean your going back tomorrow?"
Hobbes nodded. "I learned stuff, like 6 + 5 is 11, not Atlanta, Georgia."
"This is great! You can go to school for me forever! And I'll get all the credit! HA HA! Yeah Hobbes go do you're homework, I'll go throw stuff at Suzie by myself!"
But he didn't get the same enjoyment out of throwing stuff at Suzie as he did when Hobbes was around. He didn't have anybody to laugh with. Eventually he went back to his room and peaked over the desk. "Whacha doin?"
"Long division."
"Long division? Isn't that fourth grade stuff?"
"Yeah, I'm in fourth grade now. Duh. How long have you been asleep?"
"Asleep, what? I never fell asleep!"
"Yes you did, you sent me down to dinner once a couple of years ago, Mom made tuna casserole, and when I came back you were asleep."
Calvin thought back, oh yeah, that was around second grade. Hobbes had been going to school for him for about a year then. Calvin had been getting tired of reading the same old comic books, and having no friends. Hobbes was spending more and more time away at school, making new friends. So Calvin had learned to sleep all the time, like Hobbes did. The next time he woke up Hobbes was in High School.
Calvin woke up under the bed, he was covered in dust and started coughing. He heard voices, one was female. Calvin was enraged, a slimy girl in his room? That violated section 12, chapter 4, arcticle, uh, no wait, it was chapter 4, secion 12, no. Well it violated something in the G.R.O.S.S. handbook!
"Wow Hobbes, you really are good at algebra, thanks for helping me."
"Hey no problem."
Calvin squirmed out from under the bed and stared jumping up and down and screaming "Get out of my room you smelly girl! Hobbes this is an outrage! Out! Out! Out!" But neither Hobbes, nor the girl, who looked vaguely familiar, seemed to notice. Calvin stormed out of his room and down the stairs, he had to make somebody notice. He went to go find his mom. He found her in the den, reading a book. Again he stared jumping up and down and screaming. He popped a paper bag and jumped on the couch next to her, but she didn't even look up. Finally he jumped on her, she would notice him then for sure.
But she didn't. Instead Calvin passed right through her, like he was a ghost. Dazed he stared walking through the house. On the walls there were pictures of Hobbes, smiling politely. On the fridge there were awards and certificates with Hobbes name on them. Hobbes had taken over.
Slowly Calvin walked up stairs then up into the attic. He found some of his old comic books, and read them for a little while until he fell asleep again.
He woke up years later. He wandered downstairs and found that his family had moved away. Mom, Dad, Hobbes, everybody. There was different furniture too. And a new family. In his old room he found two people, a lady who looked familiar, and who Calvin later recognized as his old babysitter, Rosalyn, and a man. They were standing over a crib with a tiny baby inside. Calvin peaked over the edge of the crib. The baby was surrounded with stuffed animals, and Calvin found himself floating into one, a leopard.
Calvin and the Baby would be inseparable for the next years of their lives.
(Note to anybody who wonders about anything: You're thinking too hard about it)
Calvin groaned and slapped himself on the forehead, then he started taking off his pants, "Here," he said, throwing the pants at Hobbes, "Wear pants!"
The pants hit Hobbes in the face and he fell over backwards.
"CALVIN! Come on! Let's Go! Your going to miss the bus!"
"Hurry!" Calvin shrieked, "Before mom comes! Get the pants on!"
"Now wait, which way is front?"
Calvin stormed over and pointed, "This way! The zipper part goes in the front! And you're not going to get anywhere with both legs in one pant leg!"
"What do I do with my tail?"
"I don't know, just stick it down your pant leg! Just hurry!"
"It'll hang out the bottom."
"CAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLVVVVVVVVVVIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNN!!!!"
"AH! She's coming up the stairs! Hurry!" He pushed some books into Hobbes arms
"Calvin!! Get DOWN HERE!! NOW!"
"GO!" Calvin shoved Hobbes out the door and slammed it behind him, then he dove under the bed.
"Come on! Why are you standing there let's go!" Mom said to Hobbes, clapping her hands.
Hobbes ducked his head and ran past Mom, down the stairs, and out the door.
Calvin crawled out from under the bed, it worked! It finally worked! Hobbes was going to school and Calvin could stay home! HORRAY! Calvin pulled another pair of pants on then flopped down on his bed to read comic books.
Hours later, Calvin heard the bus coming up his street. An idea struck him. With an evil grin he snuck down the stairs and crouched near the door. He would finally get back at Hobbes for all those times he had pounced him when Calvin came home from school. When the door opened Calvin sprung up toward Hobbes. Hobbes stepped aside and Calvin flew by him and into a nearby bush.
Hobbes pointed at him and laughed, "Only tigers can do that. We have better reflexes."
Still sitting in the bush Calvin rolled up his sleeve and made a fist and said, "You wanna come over and tell that to my face?"
Without warning Hobbes pounced and started fighting with Calvin. "OW! Leggo!"
"Not Fair!"
"Stop Biting!"
"Bug off Fuz Face!"
After a few minutes they both lay panting on the ground and the bush was destroyed.
"Mom's not going to be happy about her rose bush." Hobbes said
"Yeah, I know, come on let's get out of here, we could throw pine cones at Suzie." Calvin sat up and started picking thorns and sticks out if his hair and clothes.
"Sorry, no can do"
"Why? That's violating G.R.O.S.S. rules!"
"I think you make up rules as you go."
"Do not!" Calvin said.
"Do too!" Hobbes said
"Do not!" Calvin.
"Do too!" Hobbes
"Do not!" Calvin.
"Do not!" Hobbes.
"Do too!" Calvin said, "Wait. Hey!"
"Anyway, I've got to go do my homework."
"Homework? You'd rather do homework than play with me?!"
"Doing homework impresses the school babes."
"I don't want to impress school babes! Babes are gross! I demand that you don't do that homework!"
"But I don't want to get a bad reputation."
"Hey that's may bad reputation you're talking about buster! Wait, you don't want to get a bad reputation, does that mean your going back tomorrow?"
Hobbes nodded. "I learned stuff, like 6 + 5 is 11, not Atlanta, Georgia."
"This is great! You can go to school for me forever! And I'll get all the credit! HA HA! Yeah Hobbes go do you're homework, I'll go throw stuff at Suzie by myself!"
But he didn't get the same enjoyment out of throwing stuff at Suzie as he did when Hobbes was around. He didn't have anybody to laugh with. Eventually he went back to his room and peaked over the desk. "Whacha doin?"
"Long division."
"Long division? Isn't that fourth grade stuff?"
"Yeah, I'm in fourth grade now. Duh. How long have you been asleep?"
"Asleep, what? I never fell asleep!"
"Yes you did, you sent me down to dinner once a couple of years ago, Mom made tuna casserole, and when I came back you were asleep."
Calvin thought back, oh yeah, that was around second grade. Hobbes had been going to school for him for about a year then. Calvin had been getting tired of reading the same old comic books, and having no friends. Hobbes was spending more and more time away at school, making new friends. So Calvin had learned to sleep all the time, like Hobbes did. The next time he woke up Hobbes was in High School.
Calvin woke up under the bed, he was covered in dust and started coughing. He heard voices, one was female. Calvin was enraged, a slimy girl in his room? That violated section 12, chapter 4, arcticle, uh, no wait, it was chapter 4, secion 12, no. Well it violated something in the G.R.O.S.S. handbook!
"Wow Hobbes, you really are good at algebra, thanks for helping me."
"Hey no problem."
Calvin squirmed out from under the bed and stared jumping up and down and screaming "Get out of my room you smelly girl! Hobbes this is an outrage! Out! Out! Out!" But neither Hobbes, nor the girl, who looked vaguely familiar, seemed to notice. Calvin stormed out of his room and down the stairs, he had to make somebody notice. He went to go find his mom. He found her in the den, reading a book. Again he stared jumping up and down and screaming. He popped a paper bag and jumped on the couch next to her, but she didn't even look up. Finally he jumped on her, she would notice him then for sure.
But she didn't. Instead Calvin passed right through her, like he was a ghost. Dazed he stared walking through the house. On the walls there were pictures of Hobbes, smiling politely. On the fridge there were awards and certificates with Hobbes name on them. Hobbes had taken over.
Slowly Calvin walked up stairs then up into the attic. He found some of his old comic books, and read them for a little while until he fell asleep again.
He woke up years later. He wandered downstairs and found that his family had moved away. Mom, Dad, Hobbes, everybody. There was different furniture too. And a new family. In his old room he found two people, a lady who looked familiar, and who Calvin later recognized as his old babysitter, Rosalyn, and a man. They were standing over a crib with a tiny baby inside. Calvin peaked over the edge of the crib. The baby was surrounded with stuffed animals, and Calvin found himself floating into one, a leopard.
Calvin and the Baby would be inseparable for the next years of their lives.
(Note to anybody who wonders about anything: You're thinking too hard about it)