Ed Edd 'n' Eddy Class of 71
Something About Ed
By: Lindsay
It was very sunny and warm that Sunday afternoon, which attracted many people to Peach Creek Park. People rode bicycles, roller skated, rowed boats in the lake, or just laid in the grass and gazed at the clouds. Alec, Penny (who had Donovan on a leash), and I took a walk down the path. We all looked around us and enjoyed the beautiful day. When he noticed Penny and I hold hands just then, he spoke up, "Y'know, I've been thinking about this and I need to know...how did you and Penny first meet, anyway?"
Penny and I looked at each other and laughed. "Why do you want to hear about that?" Penny asked, letting Donovan stop for a moment.
"I just do," he said. "What's wrong with telling me?"
"Nothing, I guess," I started to laugh. "I can tell you. Let's sit down by the lake."
We went down the hill and sat down by the lake like I said. Alec said as he picked up Donovan, "I'm waiting. How'd it happen?"
"Okay," I said. "It's kind of a long story, but here it goes..."
It was nearly two years ago in 1969 on the first day of my junior year over at Peach Creek High School. It was mid-September but it was warm and sunny. I felt great that morning. I just got my driver's license and Dad let me drive the station wagon. Hey, it wasn't officially mine yet. Now when I got out of the car and into the school I went into homeroom. Double D and Eddy were already there. It was Algebra with Mr. Black. That I didn't like, but I sat right between Double D and Eddy.
"How do you feel about going back to stupid school?" Eddy asked Double D.
"Wonderful," he replied. "And school isn't stupid. It helps us learn knowledge and sense."
"Could you define knowledge, Double D?" I asked.
Just then, the bell rang, and the class filled up with both familiar faces. People were talking and laughing about summer vacations and new hairstyles and all that. Just as we all settled in, Mr. Black got in front of us and began to speak. "Good morning, starshines. I hope you've all had a groovy summer. But now it's time for another year at Peach Creek High so no more time for fun in the sun. And...I'd like you to meet a new student..."
We all looked at him. New students were always the center of attention.
"...And I'd like you to help her feel right at home. This is the first time she's ever been to public school. But she's a very intelligent, pretty, and not to mention unique chick. Let's give a warm welcome to...Penny Lane."
He opened the door. At first nobody was there, but just then a chick with very long, blue-black hair and blue eyes poked in. I looked past Artie who was in front of me to get a better look. She was wearing a peasant-looking dress (chicks weren't allowed to wear pants to school yet; all the other chicks had skirts and knee-high socks) and a fringed coat on. And when Mr. Black said, "Penny, take a seat next to Edward over there," he pointed at me. "You can take Eddy's seat and he'll move up front." She started to walk towards me. It was like nobody else was in the room but her. I felt a little...weird.
Very coolly she took the seat where Eddy was. Although I probably looked like a total moron I smiled at her and waved a little. She didn't even look my way. She just kept a content, quiet look on her face. She was probably shy because she was new. I hoped so, and that she would talk to me. I was really starting to dig her.
Early that afternoon at lunch, I took a tray of pizza and sat down at my usual table along with Double D and Eddy. When I sat down next to Eddy he said coyly, "So, Romeo, have you talked to your dream girl yet?" Then he started to snicker.
"Nah," I said. "I haven't seen her since first period. And she never even looked at me."
"Aw, too bad." Eddy began to laugh.
"Eddy," Double D sighed. "This is no laughing matter. Ed here is in love with this new girl and needs our support."
"Sorry."
"Say...Ed, why not invite her to sit down with us?"
"I don't see her," I said, but just then saw her with a green salad. I called out to her, "Hey there, want to eat with me?" I don't think she did, because she just sat down with a girl with a flipped hairdo and glasses, and started to laugh and talk with her.
"Man," I sighed. "Why doesn't she like me?"
"She just didn't hear you," Double D said. "Why not talk to her later? Perhaps ask her out?"
"I'll try..."
After lunch, I had World History. I was just walking from class to the bathroom when I looked out at the track by the football field and noticed Penny Lane. She ran up the hill to the water fountain. Now was my big chance, I walked up to her.
"Um...hi," I stammered.
"Hey," she replied. "Aren't you that guy who kept staring at me during Algebra?"
"Why...yeah, I am. And I was wondering...I really like you, and would you go out with me?"
She looked thoughtful for a moment, but then said, "I don't think you're my type," and ran back to the track. I no longer felt like going to the bathroom. I blocked a tear and went back to class.
After school, Double D, Eddy and I were in my room, talking about the first day of school. Double D was pretty happy but Eddy said it was boring as usual. I just sat and stared into space.
"So," Eddy said. "Did you snag that chick as your girlfriend yet?"
I said, "No," and felt tears come to my eyes. "She doesn't like me at all! And why not? Is it my freckles? My red hair? My yellow skin?"
"Now, Ed," Double D patted my back. "You can't just give up on her like that. Tomorrow morning, why not have another go at it?"
I smiled and nodded my head.
"That's the spirit. Now, why not give her a compliment? That always flatters girls. Why not tell her something like Your eyes are like pools of beauty or Your hair is like black silk?"
"That's a little corny, isn't it?" I asked.
"No. It'll sweep her off her feet!"
"Yeah," Eddy said. "It works like a charm with Cary Grant!"
"Okay," I said. "I'll give her the best compliment I can ever say to anyone!"
"Oh, Ed," Double D said. "First, get a little conversation rolling. That'll get her attention better."
"Thanks, Double D," I said. "You're a real pal!"
The next day before I went to school I went into the bathroom, took a shower, combed my hair, and used my dad's aftershave. When I came out Sarah said, "Wow! You look like a million dollars!" I just smiled at her. After that I quickly ate my breakfast of Frosted Flakes and darted out the door into my station wagon. I drove to school and realized that I was very early. Hardly anyone was there yet. So I waited around outside for more people to come. As the minutes went by more and more people came and eventually Penny came. I said to her, "Can I walk you to class?" She said, "Okay." Something actually went right...and to follow, Double D's instructions, I tried to get a little conversation rolling as we walked down the hall. I said, "Did you see Neil Armstrong land on the moon this summer?"
"Yeah," she said. "Real groovy."
When we got to class, we took our seats. I looked at her and she said, "What is it?" I tried to think of a compliment, but I was blanking out. Finally I said, "You know, you make all the other girls look skinny!" And I knew immediately that I said the wrong thing because I covered my mouth with my hands. And suddenly the room became very quiet...
When I looked at Penny I noticed that she was deadly quiet. Suddenly, I noticed a blue vein stick out in her neck. Suddenly, she yelled, "How dare you say that I'm fat!" And before I knew it I felt something hit me in the head very hard. "OWWW!" I yelled, and saw Penny holding one of her shoes. "That's what you get for saying that about me!" she said just as loud, "I am NOT fat!" The rest of the class peered over. Double D sighed and shook his head while Eddy started laughing like crazy. Just then, Mr. Black came in and said, "What just happened? And why was there so much yelling?"
That's when he noticed me with a mark on the side of my head and Penny holding her shoe. He said flatly, "Penny, Ed, please come over here."
Penny and I walked to Mr. Black's desk. He said, "Penny, Edward, were you the ones responsible for all that yelling? I could hear you all the way down the hall!"
I felt terrible. I just had to take the blame. "I did it, it's my fault."
"But I noticed that Penny was in on it as well. After school detention this afternoon...for you both."
Penny said absolutely nothing. She just shot me a look that could kill anyone. Quietly I went back to my seat.
"Guess you got it!" Eddy snickered.
"Mr. Johnson," Mr. Black inquired sharply. "Mind your own business. There's some things that are kept between teachers and certain students. Now all of you turn to page 24 in your textbooks."
That afternoon, while everyone else went on home, Penny and I had to go to detention. We were the only ones in there, so we took a couple seats towards the back.
"How could you do this to me?" Penny whispered. "This is all your fault! Giving me detention on the second day of school!"
"Me?" I asked. "You're the one who hit me with one of your shoes."
"If you excuse me," Penny said. "I'm going to turn my desk the other way!"
Just as Penny turned her desk away from mine, our principal, Mr. Dilk, came in.
"I have a job for you two," he told us, and carried two mops with a large bucket of warm, soapy water in the room. "You two are to mop up this room from top to bottom. Is that clear?"
Penny and I nodded. "Good," he said, and shut the door.
As soon as he was gone Penny and I began to mop the floor. She muttered, "You just HAD to say that about me, didn't you? Well, look where your remark got us!"
"Look," I said, trying to get through to her. "I didn't mean it when I said..."
"Just shut up and leave me alone...I don't want you to get us in even more trouble!"
"Me? You're the one who got physical!" I felt shaky all over when I said that. I never talked that way to a chick like that. And about an hour later we were done mopping the floor. We were about to go home, but when I turned the knob, the door wouldn't open. I figured I was just turning it the wrong way, but when I turned it the opposite direction the door still wouldn't open. "Oh no," I said.
"What is it?" Penny asked.
"Someone locked the door!"
"What? Oh man! How do we get out!?"
"I don't know! Look around, there has to be some other way out of here."
Penny and I started to walk around the room, looking for a way out. That's when Penny noticed a skylight and said, "Hey, we can get out through there! I bet I could reach it on your shoulders." She no longer seemed mad, so I said, "Okay, let's give it a try."
I kneeled down and let Penny get up on my shoulders. Then I stood up, holding her down. But she said, "I still can't reach it! It's too high!"
"Reach up a little further," I said.
"I can't!" And suddenly, we toppled over.
"Oh, no," Penny began to cry. "We're stuck in here!"
"Don't worry, there has to be some other way." And I just got an idea...I took off my jacket and revealed my prized Doors T-shirt.
"Hey," Penny said. "You like The Doors?"
"Sure do," I said. "And I think we can use this to get out!"
"How?"
I took off the shirt and began to twist it into a rope. Penny said, "What are you doing with your shirt?"'
I replied, "Getting us out of here," as I scooted one of the desks below the skylight. Next I stood on the desk and managed to be tall enough to reach the latch that opened the skylight and tied one end of my shirt to a latch on the roof. Then I pulled myself up and crawled through the skylight.
"C'mon," I called out to Penny, holding out my arms. "I'll pull you up!"
"Okay," she said, and nervously got on the desk and grabbed my arms. I pulled her up on the roof. She was kind of shaking.
"Hey," she said. "You got us out of there!"
"Sure did," I replied, very coolly. "C'mon, now we have to get down from the roof! There's a ladder over there."
Penny followed me to the other side of the roof where the ladder was and we both climbed down.
"Wow," she said. "You saved me."
When I looked at my shirt I said, "Oh no!" because it was very stretched out and torn. I sighed pitifully.
"I'm sorry about your shirt...well, see ya."
"See ya," I replied, and went on home.
"So," Alec said. "What happened after that? Did she really give you the cold shoulder?"
"Let me go on," I said. "You'll see..."
When I got to my room I lay down on my bed and turned on the TV. The only shows that were on were Family Affair, Hogan's Heroes, and some soap opera. I switched off the TV as soon as I heard Ma call out, "Edward, time for dinner!"
As soon as I got to the dining room Dad asked, "Edward, where were you all this time after school?"
"Detention," I said flatly.
"Is that so?"
"Yeah, it is. I accidentally told this chick something dirty, but I didn't mean to! I tried giving her a compliment, but it came out all wrong. Then she got really mad and yelled a lot and we both got detention."
"Edward," Dad said. "Get to the point. What really happened?"
"Well," I continued. "After we went to detention we had to mop the floors. And later when we finished we found out that the janitor locked us in..."
"What?" Ma said. "How in heaven's name did you get out?"
"Well, by using my Doors shirt I opened the skylight and climbed my way out to safety, and I rescued the chick, too. She didn't seem so mad then, but you see, I really like her, and I was just trying to tell her how I felt and it came out the way I hadn't planned. What if she never even talks to me again?"
"If she doesn't," Ma said. "Maybe she's just not the one for you."
Just hearing that made me want to cry. And Sarah found it all hilarious as if this were a TV show.
"Hurry up and finish your roast before it gets cold," Ma broke my thoughts.
The next day after school, I as just about to get in the car to go home when Penny ran up to me saying, "Wait a minute, Ed, don't go just yet!"
"What is it?" I asked, wondering what she wanted.
"Ed," she said, sympathetically. "I just want to say...that I'm sorry for acting like such a jerk yesterday, and hitting you with my shoe," she laughed slightly. "And I felt real bad about your shirt so I got you this last night over at the record shop."
She handed me a package, and when I opened it I found a shirt with LED ZEPPELIN printed across the front.
"They're a new group," Penny explained.
"Hey," I said. "I love it! I've already got one of their albums! They're cool."
"I'm glad you dig it. Also, I was wondering...do you think we could, well...start all over and start going steady?"
"Would I!" I exclaimed. "Oh, I mean...sure." I said, coolly.
"Oh, Ed, now that we've decided to go steady, want to get a soda at the drugstore down the street?"
"Yeah!" I said, putting my arm around her as we walked towards the drugstore.
As we walked away from the school, I overheard Eddy saying to Double D, "I don't get it...first she hates him, now she's all over him! What's with that?"
Double D just laughed a little and said, "Just one of the mysteries of life, I suppose."
"So that's how it all started," Alec said. "I never thought it was like that."
Just then, Double D and Eddy ran over. "What's happening?" Eddy asked.
"Oh," I said. "I was just telling Alec the story about how Penny and I met."
"Oh yeah," Double D. "I remember that. Not your typical love story, huh?"
"Nope," Penny stood up with Donovan on his leash. "Sure isn't. But I'll always remember it."
"Me too," I said.
Alec just stood up, grimaced, and headed for home. The rest of us did the same.
~~~ THE END ~~~