SG Nexus Atlantis Series

by MissTT aka FantasyOfMine

Stargate Atlantis Series continues in the Nexus stories. **New CH2** Away From Home (S6E1) Jack, Daniel and Woolsey plot against the IOA to return Atlantis. Tensions rise between Rodney and Jennifer. Amelia and Ronon get closer, as Jennifer starts to have regrets. John and Teyla have a hard time holding back their feelings.

1. Missing Scenes season 1-5

~ Deleted Scenes before "The Storm" S1E9~

John was happy to walk Teyla to her quarters after their sparing session. It had quite obviously become his favorite time of the day. From the moment he met her he felt a connection that he had never felt with anyone before. When they thought that they had returned to Earth, he loved seeing the smile on her face as he showed her his world. He thought that it would be nice for them to spend more time together outside of Atlantis.
-Teyla: What is it Major Sheppard?
-John: I was wondering if you have a ride tomorrow when you go visit your people's settlement.
-Teyla: I believe Elizabeth has arranged for Lt. Wesley's team to take me.
-John: I could take you...
-Teyla: It's very kind of you to offer, but I wouldn't want to interrupt you or Ford's leisure time, and I'm sure Rodney has much to do in his lab.
-John: I'd actually like to go. I was just thinking that maybe you'd like some company. If Ford and Rodney are busy, then I can just take you myself.
-Teyla: (smiling) I would like that very much.
-John: (suddenly feeling a little awkward and nervous) Good... I'm just going to go let Elizabeth know about the change of plans. Dinner, later in the cafeteria?
-Teyla: I will see you then.
Teyla went into her quarters and closed the door. She certainly was feeling butterflies when it came to the Major. He had welcomed her in and been her champion for several weeks now. Living on Atlantis and fighting by his side had changed her life completely.

Elizabeth was sitting at her desk reading reports when she heard the knock on her door. She looked up to see John and waved him to come in.
-Elizabeth: What can I do for you John?
-John: I just wanted to let you know that Lt Wesley's team could take the day off tomorrow.
-Elizabeth: Oh. Is Teyla not going to the Athosian settlement?
-John: Well, yes, but we're a team, so I thought it would be good for us to do team stuff together, off world, that's not work related.
-Elizabeth: Understandable, but I thought Rodney had planned to do some work in his lab tomorrow. His science team has been recovering some pretty interesting things.
-John: I've got it all worked out with Rodney and Aiden.
-Elizabeth: Ok, then it's fine with me. I was about to grab a snack and some coffee at the cafeteria. Care to join me?
-John: I would but I have a couple of things to take care of and then I'm meeting Teyla for dinner...
-Elizabeth: Another time then.
-John: Absolutely.
She watched him for a moment as he left. There was something about him that drew her to him. She had come to depend on him a great deal more than she cared to admit. Sometimes her thoughts would drift a bit when he was on her mind, but she forced herself to put them aside. She had a job to do here, and a man she loved at home.

There was no question where John would find Rodney. Sure enough, he was in his lab going over several pieces of Ancient equipment.
-John: Hey, Rodney. Thought I'd let you know, we're taking Teyla to the settlement tomorrow.
-Rodney: Oh no, no, no... I have a full day scheduled with my science team. I doubt that the Athosians are having any issues that need my expertise. I mean, they're farmers.
-John: Well it is just a routine visit. We'll be back in the morning. I suppose you could stay here and...
-Rodney: Good! I mean they're lovely people and all but I have serious and important work to do here.
-John: Of course you do. No worries. (To himself) One more to go.
He did a slow jog to Aiden's room and tapped on the door. Aiden opened it quickly and let him. As John walked in the young man grabbed a ball and prepared to toss it to him.
-Aiden: Maj. Sheppard, hey.
-John: Lieutenant. What are you up to?
-Aiden: (tossing him the ball) Going to the gym to shoot some hoops. Wanna come?
-John: I'm actually meeting Teyla for dinner.
-Aiden: Ok.
-John: Hey, look... Tomorrow Weir has cleared us to take Teyla to the mainland.
-Aiden: Oh... I thought you wanted to do my PT test and range tomorrow?
-John: I was thinking you could spend the morning catching up on your reports, and take the rest of the day off. Then we can do your PT the next day.
-Aiden: (confused) What about taking Teyla to the mainland?
-John: I can handle it. No reason for you to waist a day hanging around the settlement.
-Aiden: Thank you, Sir.
-John: Oh, and if Elizabeth asks, just tell her you stayed behind to get those reports done. Don't want her thinking you've got too much free time on your hand.

John picked Teyla up at her quarters, early the next morning. She smiled when she saw had an overnight bag prepared. He had informed her at dinner that it would be just the two of them, and her mind was filled with possibilities. There was a bit of silence as they headed toward the Jumper Bay. They both had the same thing on their minds, but neither wanted to be the first to say anything. One thing John was looking forward to was telling Teyla to call him by his first name. He decided, the next time she called him Major Sheppard.
-John: So what's on the agenda for today?
-Teyla: We will spend much of the day with friends. Halling is preparing a small feast for rest day that will occur at noon. Then this evening I shall prepare a special dish for you. It's one of my favorites.
-John: Well I'm sure everyone will like it.
-Teyla: (smiling) The dinner is only for you and me.
-John: Sounds perfect.

*
Elizabeth was in the control room with Bates and the technicians. When John radioed that they were ready.
-John: (over the radio) We're ready to go folks.
-Elizabeth: Very well. See you in 24 hour.
-Bates: (to Elizabeth) I'm surprised you approve this.
-Elizabeth: What do you mean?
-Bates: Under different circumstances I would say it's none of our business, but he is her team leader, and the military commander...
-Elizabeth: You have a problem with their team taking her to spend the day on the mainland.
-Bate: It's not the team... It's just the two of them going alone and staying over night.
-Elizabeth: Oh... I see...
She couldn't help but be a little upset that John didn't tell her the truth. She wasn't sure how she should feel about the two of them going off together. The military had rules about these things. Though Teyla was not in the military, she was still part of his team. She knew now that she would have to address the issue, perhaps even make some rules regarding relationships on the expedition.

To say Teyla was a little bit distracting was an understatement. Normally while on missions, John did a great job of remaining focused. But today was all about spending time with Teyla and having some fun. He couldn't stop himself from constantly looking back at her as she went through the supplies. His mind even wandered a bit, as he anticipated spending the night with her.

Teyla had noticed him staring at her, and she wondered what was on his mind. Perhaps she thought, she would find out tonight.

-John: Haven't been to the mainland in a while... How's everybody settling in?
-Teyla: Halling believes the first crops will have a good yield.
-John: They still miss home?
-Teyla: There is still talk of returning. Even though I have told them the Wraith have scorched Athose bare in revenge for our existence.
-John: Well, maybe in time this place will start to begin to feel like home.
-Teyla: Do you see that?
-John: That can't be a storm. It stretches across the whole horizon.
-Teyla: I have never something like that from so high.
-John: I've seen a lot of things from this altitude but nothing like that.
John radioed in to Elizabeth on Atlantis to let them know they would do some weather forecasting. He wasn't sure if they got the message, but he and Teyla went to check it out.
-Teyla: Do all storms look like this from above?
-John: No. This storm covers about 20% of the planet.
-Teyla: is it headed towards the mainland?
-John: It's tracking right towards the settlement.
-Teyla: And after that?
-John: Straight to Atlantis.

-Teyla: We must warn the others.
-John: (turning the puddle jumper back) Looks like I'll have to take a rain check on that dinner.
-Teyla: A rain check?
-John: It means that we will have to do this another time. Hopefully soon.
-Teyla: I will be looking forward to it Major Sheppard.
John was extremely disappointed. Especially when she called him Major Sheppard. He had wanted to tell her to call him John, but now it seemed that the moment was gone. He looked at Teyla and saw how concerned she was. What ever he had planned or hoped would happen, would have to wait. Right now he had to focus.
-John: Don't worry. We'll make sure your people are taken care of.

*
~ Deleted Scene After S1E10 "The Eye"~

It had been a strenuous 3 days. Between the evacuation of Atlantis and the mainland, trying to save the city from the storm, and the Geni attempting to seize the city, Elizabeth was exhausted. She barely had a moment to sit down when her thoughts went to John and how he had fought so hard to save her life. She was deep in thought and was startled when Teyla knocked on the door.
-Teyla: Hello, Elizabeth. Sorry to disturb you.
-Elizabeth: Please come in.
-Teyla: Things are going smoothly here.
-Elizabeth: Yes, everyone is anxious to get back to their normal routine. How are the Athosians?
-Teyla: They are doing as well as can be expected. There is much to be done. Major Sheppard has offered to take me back to the mainland to help for a couple of days.
-Elizabeth: That's fine, but I don't know if he will be able to stay that long. We have to go over some security protocols to prevent another siege from happening.
-Teyla: (a little disappointed) Of course.
-Elizabeth: You know, John is second in command here. Your priority is with the concerns of your people, as it should be. But John's priority has to be Atlantis.
Teyla: Yes, I agree completely.
-Elizabeth: We don't know what the future has in store for us. But one day we may actually be able to go home. When that happens, there is no guarantee that we will be able to come back.
-Teyla: Yes I have thought a great deal about that. I have grown quite close to many here. Especially John. He has really made me feel that I am a part of all of this.
-Elizabeth: Your friendship means a lot to him. He'd do anything for you, but Atlantis must be his priority.
-Teyla: Are you concerned that I am somehow compromising the Major?
-Elizabeth: No. Friendships among team members are very important. As long as that's as far as it goes. The military does have strict rules about fraternization.
-Teyla: I'm not sure what you mean.
-Elizabeth: Well, the military doesn't approve of officers having intimate relationships with those who serve under them. They believe it can compromise the officers involved and the mission.
-Teyla: I suppose when you love someone, they become the priority.
-Elizabeth: Yes, exactly. The loved one becomes the priority. But I don't see how that would effect you and John. As long as the two of you are only friends, I see no problem with you being on his team. You all truly make a great team.
-Teyla: Yes we do. If there is one thing that I realized during this ordeal, it is that I want to be fighting by Major Sheppard's side.
-Elizabeth: (smiling) Good. You're the best team we've got. Atlantis needs you... All of you... focused.

*
Teyla knew that Elizabeth was right. She and John both had different obligations. She had not even told anyone on Atlantis about Kanan; the young man from her childhood to whom she had been betrothed. They didn't speak much now, but she knew that Kanan very much wanted to move forward with the betrothal and marriage. But Teyla was not so sure. Especially now that she had found a new life on Atlantis.
Betrothals for her people were not uncommon. Often it was to forge an alliance between two families for eternal friendship, property or financial gain. There were rare instances when a betrothal was used to repay a debt of some sort. But in Teyla and Kenan's circumstance it was the gift. Their rare ability to sense the Wraith had elevated them to the status of leaders in their community. They had seen the lineage die off in some families, so keeping the gift by forging family lines was very important.
There was a time in a young Athosian's life, which those who were betrothed could "sow their wild oats" so to speak before settling down. And in some cases a betrothal could be ended. That was not an easy thing to accomplish. The Athosian elders and leaders would have to be informed of the reasons to end the betrothal, the gilted person or family would have to agree to the terms, and then the Leaders could admonish the betrothal.
It had crossed Teyla's mind many times since joining John's team. Her life was nothing like what she had imagined it would be. And she was excited for the new possibilities. But she loved her people and did not want to betray them in any way. She would have to put her feelings for John aside.

*
~Deleted Scene "The Defiant One" S1E11"~

Several days went by and Teyla was spending much of her time on the mainland helping her people. For some reason, Teyla wouldn't let John stay at the settlement. She insisted John go back to Atlantis and get back to work. Now John was anxious to go get her, but Elizabeth kept giving him other assignments. Today she had planned for him to take Rodney and a couple of scientists exploring.
-John: I just think you should let someone else take these guys out.
-Elizabeth: Rodney is on your team, and he needs to learn how to fly the jumper.
-John: Fine... But Teyla is on my team too. And if she needs our help...
-Elizabeth: They are setting up the settlement shelters and salvaging crops. Your skills are needed here. Teyla agrees.
-John: What do you mean?
-Elizabeth: Just that Teyla and I have had discussions about military protocol in regards to friendships and dating.
-John: (a little annoyed) Was that necessary?
-Elizabeth: We were just talking. Besides, as an intricate part of your team, she should understand our policies.
-John: Well she's not military, so...
-Elizabeth: No, but the reasoning applies in her situation. Not that any of that matters. She has assured me that the two of you are just friends.
-John: I think I am capable of letting my team know what is and isn't acceptable in these regards...
-Elizabeth: No, John. It's my call. And we need to have rules that apply to everyone. Relationships are inevitable, but there are good reasons why people in certain positions should avoid compromising themselves. As the highest ranking military officer of this base and the leader of your team...
-John: Is this your way of saying I can't start seeing anyone?
-Elizabeth: Not at all... Like I said relationships are inevitable. I just wouldn't be able to allow you to have a relationship with a lower ranking military officer or a member of your team.
She could see that John was not happy with the direction of the conversation. Clearly he had had ideas about possibilities between him and Teyla. But in that moment Elizabeth realized that she was also taking away any possibilities for him and herself as well. At least she could take comfort in knowing she had Simon back home. But here, she would be lonely. Friendships would have to satisfy her.
-Elizabeth: (sigh) Look, Markham and Ford are going to take supplies to the mainland and bring Teyla back in a few hours. She'll be here by the time you and Rodney get back.
-John: Fine. I guess I'll get back to work then.

~Deleted Scene S1E12 "Hot Zone"~

*9:25
John had a very difficult time concentrating on the sparing match with Teyla. She had thoroughly kicked his a** the entire hour. He had a lot of pent up frustration about their romantic situation... Or lack there of. Every time he felt resolved that this was the way things had to be, she would show up somewhere looking sexy and irresistible. But he wouldn't trade their sparing time for anything in the world.
But now he hated waiting around doing nothing. He couldn't figure out what was taking Elizabeth so long to get back to them. As he sat next to Teyla he thought about what she had said earlier.
~Teyla: It is not for the winning that we practice.
~John: Well then what's the point?
John knew what the point was, but a part of him wanted to hear it from Teyla. He hoped that she would say what he couldn't... That their time alone meant as much to her as it did to him. No, it was not for the winning that they practiced. Unfortunately, Elizabeth had enacted the quarantine before they had a chance to explore the topic any further. And it only reminded him that what ever he and Teyla may have hoped might be, wasn't going to happen. Finally Elizabeth responded back to him on Teyla's radio.
Teyla could tell by John's tone that there was some tension between the two of them. She had a feeling what the underlying issue was. John had not gone against Elizabeth when it came to the possibility of Him having a relationship with a team member, but now it seemed that he was more than willing to challenge her authority. Maybe he felt that if Elizabeth was wrong about this, she could be wrong about other issues as well.

*17:00
Teyla felt that John had taken things too far, by ordering Bates to defy Elizabeth. She went with John to get the Hazmat suits, but knew that she would have to say something to Him. They were short on time so modesty was not a concern for them. John could not resist stealing a glance as she came out of her skirt and put on the Hazmat suit. Teyla figured it was as good a time as any to say something.
~Teyla: You should not have undermined Dr. Weir's authority in front of Sgt. Bates.
~John: Sometimes Elizabeth makes a decision early on and gets locked into it . And that's a problem.
~Teyla: She is not the only one who suffers from that affliction.

John was surprised to hear Teyla take Elizabeth's side on this. He called Elizabeth on the radio to get Peterson's location, but Elizabeth was hesitant to give it to him.
Things got even worse after Peterson infected the cafeteria and the city went into lock down. Elizabeth really tore into John, and he had had about enough of it. They had even reverted to calling each other Dr. Weir and Major. Teyla found the entire situation very uncomfortable, but one thing was for sure. She was going to be by John's side no matter what.

*
Once the entire ordeal was over John went to see Teyla in her quarters. She offered him a seat on the bed and sat next to him.
-John: (slightly uncomfortable) I saw Elizabeth earlier. I figured I owed her an explanation.
-Teyla: How did it go?
-John: We've come to an understanding. Sorry if I put you in an uncomfortable situation earlier. I know you agreed with Elizabeth...
-Teyla: I did not agree with her, but I think that it is important that we respect her authority... even if we do not agree with her decisions.
-John: I see.
John was pretty sure that Teyla was officially putting the brakes on any possibility of anything happening between them. It wasn't the way he was hoping things were going to go. And now sitting next to her on her bed... Everything within him wanted to reach over and take her into his arms… to feel her lips against his. She could feel it too. If only things could be different.
-John: So, why did you come with me, instead of staying behind like Elizabeth wanted?
-Teyla: Because my place is with you Major. Fighting by your side.
She reached out and put her hand on his. When she did, he looked directly into her eyes and her heart skipped a beat. For a moment she thought he might actually kiss her. And though she knew that he shouldn't, she wanted him to. John knew that he had to leave. Everything she said only made him want her more. He awkwardly looked away and got up from the bed.
-John: I'd better go...
-Teyla: Shall I see you tomorrow for another sparing match?
-John: absolutely. It's the highlight of my day.
-Teyla: (smiling) Me beating you with a set of Banto sticks is he highlight of your day?
-John: Like you said... It's not for the winning that we practice.

~Post Episode S1E13 "Sanctuary"~

Teyla laid in her bed staring out the window. The moon was high in the sky on this beautiful night. John was off world with Chaya Sar. She wondered what they were doing, but in her heart, she knew. She tried to mask the sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach, but it was no use. She wasn't jealous. She more accurately felt a sense of sadness. She hadn't anticipated that it would be so easy for him to just be with someone else. Of course she never told him that she had feelings for him. And perhaps she was mistaken about him having feelings for her.
Part of her wondered what it would be like to be made love to by a man... by John. She was betrothed to Kenan and took the promise of intention seriously. She would not break that promise on a frivolous romp with any man. She would only break the bond if she truly loved another. Perhaps that is why it saddened her that John was off with Chaya, because she had considered breaking that bond for him.
She heard a knock at the door and then the door opened.
-Teyla: Major Shepard... I thought you were off world with Chaya.
-John: (nervously) I umm, I got back a little while ago.
He walked over and sat next to her on the bed. This was way more awkward than he had anticipated it would be and he had no idea what to say to her. Now with John sitting by her side, the sinking feeling that had plagued her earlier seemed to subside. She began to feel like herself again.
-Teyla: it is unfortunate that Chaya can not help us. That planet truly seemed like a sanctuary.
-John: The Ancients and their ridiculous rules.
-Teyla: Perhaps in the future you can convince Chaya to help.
-John: I don't think I'll be seeing Chaya again. It's for the best. Anyway... I'd rather be here.
They were completely silent again, but it was ok. There wasn't anything else to be said. He had hoped that his actions with Chaya hadn't hurt Teyla's feelings. But at the same time it felt good to know that he could get over her.

~ Post Episode S1E17 "Letters From Pegasus"~

All Teyla could think about was the look on his face and the tone in his voice. Surly he was angry with her. She had pushed to hard demanded of him too much. And now there was no taking it back. She almost wanted to cry, but she was a leader. Leaders didn't cry, no matter how much they were hurting inside.

~John: Look, Ford and I are Military. We spend a lot of our life learning how to survive.

~Teyla: I have spent my life surviving the Wraith…

~John: Part of that training is knowing who you can save and who you can't.

~Teyla: And that decision is yours alone.

-~John: I said I'd wait for your friend if there was time. Now there's time. What else do you want from me?

~Teyla: Too much I fear.

Her words played over and over in John's mind. He had always thought he was a hero of sorts to her. He was her champion, though she didn't really need one. There had always been a certain sparkle in her eyes when she looked at him, but in that moment all he saw was sadness.

Now he looked for her. She had turned off her radio, no doubt wanting some time alone. Finally he found her sitting alone on the balcony off the mess hall. He took a deep breath before approaching her. She was so deep in thought she didn't hear him approach.

-John: There you are. We've got a meeting in Elizabeth's office in a few.

-Teyla: I'm sorry. I turned off my radio. We should go…

-John: (Grabbing a seat) We have a few minutes. You ok?

-Teyla: (taking a deep breath) I have just been sitting here thinking… about what happened between us. I don't blame you for being angry with me. Our priorities are different.

-John: Teyla… I'm not mad at you. I'm mad that we're in this situation. If I could save everyone I would… You know that right?

-Teyla: I do. I feel as though I owe you an explanation…

-John: You don't have to…

-Teyla: Yes I do. When I lost my father, and realized my mother was gone forever, I… I had a very difficult time. It was Orin who stepped in as a father figure for me. He brought me out of a very dark place. And not just me. All of his children were orphaned by the Wraith. For as long as I have known him, Orin has taken in any child who needed a home.

-John: I get it… I do. I see why you would risk your life to save him.

-Teyla: But that did not give me the right to risk yours or the safety of Atlantis. Elizabeth told me that my priority would be with my people, and yours would be with Atlantis and Earth.

-John: I care about what happens to your people and all the people of the Pegasus Galaxy.

-Teyla: (with a soft smile) I know. When I saw you pick up the child and carry her to safety, I knew your heart. But when you were almost taken by the Wraith dart, I truly realized the risk you took… for me. They would have all been lost if it were not for you John. We saved a few. That's worth something.

Her words touched him. He realized, that he would do anything for her, and that might not be a good thing. He shouldn't allow his feelings to get in the way of the mission… but he had. He looked at her, but her eyes stared out over the ocean. Watching this culling had brought her back to a sad dark place. He could see it in her eyes. He wished he had some words of comfort, but he didn't know what to say. Then Groden's voice came over the radio.

-Groden: Major. I've begun analyzing the data. Dr. Weir is on her way up for the briefing.

-John: We'll be right there. (to Teyla) We'd better go. Can we talk after the briefing?

-Teyla: Of course.

The briefing was quick and somber. There was no good news to relay. Elizabeth could tell by the look on John and Teyla's face that it had been a brutal night. John could tell that Teyla was still troubled and hoped that using her words would let her know that he understood her.

-John: We saved a few. That's worth something.

For a brief moment Teyla felt some relief. John was not angry with her. I slight smile graced her face as she took a calming breath. The meeting was dismissed and they quickly left the office. John's eyes never left Teyla as he got up to follow her out, but Elizabeth blocked his path. John and Teyla would have to wait to finish their talk. First John had to record a message to Col. Sumner's family.

Later John caught up with Teyla in the same spot he found her earlier. She seemed a little bit better. He was relieved to see the soft smile on her face as he approached.

-John: Sorry I took so long.

-Teyla: It is all right. I went to check on Orin and the others.

-John: That's good. I just wanted to make sure that you and I are ok.

-Teyla: Of course we are Major. And we always will be

Season 2

Additional insight S2E2 "Intruder"

The Daedalus finally arrived at Atlantis, and everyone was anxious to get back into the city. There where a lot of first timers, but to some like John, Rodney, Carson, and Elizabeth… it was like coming home. It had certainly been an interesting couple of weeks on Earth. Elizabeth had really gone to bat for him. In fact he was certain that she had a lot to do with his promotion. And still it had not been easy to achieve. He was questioned endlessly about the nature of his relationship with both Teyla and Elizabeth. He made it clear that nothing inappropriate was going on. He didn't mention the almost date with Teyla before the Genii siege or the unexpected hug from Elizabeth after first Wraith Battle. He figured that wouldn't help get his promotion or maintain his position on Atlantis. But it also made it perfectly clear that certain separations were expected, even though both Teyla and Elizabeth were not Military.

In an instant the Atlantis members were beamed into the city, and greeted by those that stayed behind.
John hadn't anticipated how happy he would be to see Teyla. In fact he couldn't take his eyes off of her. And she likewise struggled to break her attention from him. It was truly good to have him back.

~4:35 Additional insight S2E8 "Conversion"~

Things had been smooth and easy the past few months between John and Teyla. They still had hopes of finding Ford, but for now it seemed that Aiden did not want to be found. They didn't have as much alone time now that their new friend Ronon had decided to stay on Atlantis. Teyla didn't mind. It helped her and John to focus on their friendship, and put other feelings aside.
But now it was their alone time. She and John sparing together, releasing some pent up tension was always nice. Today, however John was kicking her butt. It was as if he suddenly mastered everything she had taught him the past year.
-John: Not bad, huh?
-Teyla:Yes, yes... You are doing very well.
They sparred again and Teyla could not believe her eyes. It was quite impressive the way he moved. And John was likewise impressed by the way she was moving. It was as if all the thoughts he had of her before suddenly came rushing to his mind. She was incredibly sexy, and he wanted one thing. Her!
-Teyla: You have been practicing.
-John: Not really...
He liked hearing in her voice how impressed she was with his skills, and now really wanted to show off for her. He tossed one of the sticks aside, and prepared to spar again, but one handed.
She threw everything she had at him and he fended her off like it was no problem at all. John had always been able to control his feelings when they sparred. It was easy because it was usually him being being taken down. But for some reason, he could not push aside his feelings... And he didn't want to either. For so long he had wanted to do this… to kiss her. And now there was nothing stopping him. He backed her into the wall and held her there. The rush through his body felt incredible. He couldn't count how many times he had wanted her like this. Teyla wasn't sure whether to be turned on or terrified. It was very confusing.
-Teyla: You are showing considerable leap in ability Col. Sheppard.
-John: You can call me John when we're off the clock.
-Teyla: (raising an eyebrow) Very well... John.
-John: There you go.
-Teyla: Should we continue or do you...
That was all the self control John could muster. He tossed the stick aside and kissed her with every ounce of passion in him. In that moment all he could think of was how desperately he wanted her and had to have her. Teyla could feel his tongue slip into her mouth.

In that moment she let her hands press against his chest to enjoy his sudden urg. Then it was as if she realized that this was not what they should be doing. She quickly removed her hands from his chest and managed to break from his kiss. She was breathing heavily from the shock and thrill of the situation. John felt a sense of excitement and confusion, as he tried to wrap his mind around the fact that he had just kissed her. After months of forcing himself not to... He finally did it.
-John: I'm not really sure just what happened?
-Teyla: Colonel...
-John: That was interesting.
Just then they heard Becket over the intercom calling for John to report to the infirmary. John was going to ask if they could continue this later, but then he realized that he might have actually scared Teyla.
-John: ( concerned) You ok?
-Teyla: ( not sure how to respond) Dr. Becket will be expecting you.
-John: Yeah...
He looked at her for a moment suddenly remembering why they had never done this before. If Teyla were going to be on his team fighting by his side, there could be no intimacy. They had to leave it as friends. Now in this moment he hoped he had not screwed it all up. Teyla hid it well, but her feelings for him were just as strong as ever, and now that he had kissed her so passionately, she didn't know how to suppress them again.
Teyla reminded herself that there could be nothing between them. She forced herself to focus on that, and not the passion in his kiss. She had never been kissed like that before. Her commitment to her betrothal was very strong. But in this moment she thought she could easily walk away from that commitment. " His priority must be with his people..." She told herself. " One day he will return to Earth and not come back". She took another deep breath. " My commitment must be to my people" . She let that sink in for a moment, until she was resolved and strong again.

* 28:30
For some reason Elizabeth wasn't afraid to see John. Carson had told her that John kissed Teyla earlier, and had been very competitive with Ronon. Carson believed he was acting on his instincts and emotions. They hoped that the inhibitors would calm his emotions and suppress his new strength and ability. Even though he had broken the window of her office earlier, she felt that their strong bond and friendship would be stronger than his conversion.
Elizabeth was taken aback by John's appearance, but she tried to hide it. Delivering the bad news about the failed mission was not what she wanted to do. It was difficult to watch the man she cared so deeply for, go through this change.
John tried to stay level headed as She delivered the news. But he could feel the anger and frustration building inside him. Now she was making another decision that he didn't agree with. He couldn't resist the need to challenge her authority. This time he would not take no for an answer. He could feel how dangerous he was becoming.

-Elizabeth:... The bugs attacked..
-John: Try again.
-Elizabeth: Can't do that...
-John: Why?
-Elizabeth: John...
-John: No.
-Elizabeth: I understand
-John: if you won't then kill me now.
-Elizabeth: John...
-John: It's better for the both of us.
-Elizabeth: I can't do that.
-John: Then try again.
When she shook her head no, John lost all control. He took one hand and shoved her against the wall by her neck. He could sense his anger over her constantly being wrong and making bad decisions that effected others, but he could not keep it held in. She was in complete shock having never expected that he would physically attack her. She quickly realized his instincts toward her were to challenge her authority, and she had to be strong.
-Elizabeth: We lost walker and Stevens. I won't send another team. I won't risk more lives.
John knew she was right, but he was in serious trouble. He had to escape before he hurt her or someone else. He took off and tried to find a way out. Caldwell's men were everywhere but. He was way too fast for them. He took them down easily and was ready to leave, but then he heard her voice.
-Teyla: Colonel!
He turned slowly and started to move towards her. He wanted her. He thought he would get her and she would leave with him.
-Teyla: Please do not make me do this...
He wasn't sure why she was saying that. He continued to slowly go to her, hoping that she would understand to come with him, but instead she fired a shot at the ground. He knew she would not hurt him and tried again to get to her. But this time she fired several shots. Somehow Teyla was not afraid of him, more she was afraid for him. She could see in his eyes that he wasn't going to hurt her. He moved at lightning speed. If he wanted to knock her out he would have done so already. Instead he turned and ran away, only to be stunned by Ronon.

*
As Elizabeth laid in bed relieved that the ordeal was finally over. Now tears streamed down her cheeks. She did her best to convince herself that the monster that attacked her was not John. But she knew that deep down John's feelings toward her were of an authority figure more than a friend and not at all as a lover.

Teyla was relieved to finally have the conversation with John about the kiss. Though they never actually mentioned it. It was best for the both of them that they not explore the other feelings. Nothing could come of it. But he had kissed her... Like she had never been kissed before. And she would never forget it.

'
~ Post Episode S2E15 "The Tower"~

John had just finished talking with Elizabeth on the balcony, and was now joining his team in the cafeteria for a late snack. He walked in to hear Rodney boasting about John's exploits on the mission.
-Teyla: I'm sure that John was just trying to ensure the success of the mission.
-Rodney: oh yeah right! It just so happens that every planet we go to he ends up with the hot Babe that needs him to ensure our mission success.
-John: (grabbing a seat) Hey this time was not my fault. I was in my room minding my own business.
-Rodney: Sure Captain Kirk.
-John: Look, I'm sure I'm not the only one.
-Rodney: Well I'm getting no action at all. Maybe Zena over here...
-Teyla: (raising an eyebrow) You mean me?
-Rodney: Well of course. Guys are always falling all over you asking if you are looking for a husband. I wouldn't be surprised if you...
-Ronon: (with a slight snicker) not Teyla.
-John: (curious) what does that mean?
-Ronon: Oh you guys don't know. It's an Athosian thing. She's not "hooking up" if that's what you call it.
-Teyla: We can change the subject. No one is interested in Athosian customs and traditions.
-Rodney: (shocked) are you saying that you are waiting! I swear I never would have guessed.
At this point John was completely shocked and silent. He had no idea. She was so sexy and alluring...And the way she moved her body... It never crossed his mind that she might not have ever been with a man.
- Teyla: it is not forced upon me. It is my choice, to wait for someone special. I am a leader among my people, so I have many things to consider. (Glancing at John) I do not have the luxury of lying with men everywhere I go.
-John: Hey... She came to my room. And I did turn her down... Eventually.
-Rodney: Turn her down... Is that some new terminology for...
-John: It means I sent her away. We didn't hook up.
-Teyla: Well, it is late. I am going to turn in for the night.
-John: Yeah, me too I'll walk with you.
Ronon watched as they walked away. He liked John a lot, but he thought he was an idiot when it came to women. Maybe he was just over protective when it came to Teyla, but he hated that John kept ending up with other women when Teyla clearly had feelings for him. And John knew Teyla for a whole year before Ronon did, and yet John knew so little about Teyla's customs.

John too was embarrassed that he didn't know these things about her. He cared so much about her, and they spent more time together than any two people on the base.
-John: So how did I not know this about you?
-Teyla: It is not something that comes up in everyday conversation.
-John: But still... I feel like we know each other better than anyone else, and... I guess I just feel like I should've know this about you... and your people.
-Teyla: it's okay, John.
-John: So do you have to wait until you're married to... you know...
-Teyla: No not at all. It is just expected that I will chose my partner wisely. Anyone whom I do choose could potentially be an important part of the Athosian leadership.
Teyla debated in her mind whether or not to tell John about the betrothal, but ultimately she couldn't do it. She was almost relieved that they had made it to her quarters. Perhaps they could finally end this conversation.
-Teyla: Well, I shall see you tomorrow.
-John: I look forward to it. Oh, by the way... When is the next time you are going to the Athosian settlement?
-Teyla: I am going at the end of the week for 2 days.
-John: If you don't mind the company... I'd like to tag along.
-Teyla: (smiling) I would love to have the company. Good night John.
She closed the door leaving him alone in the hallway. Even though she had said it was okay, he still felt guilty about not knowing something so important. He wondered how Ronan knew. The more he thought about it the worse he felt. He knew that Teyla cared about him, and yet he did keep ending up in bed with other women. He felt like such a jerk. Even if they could only be friends, he still needed her to know that she was important to him. He cared for her more than he could ever tell her. He would never be able to tell her that he loved her, but at least he could be a better friend.

John was serious about taking more time to get to know about Teyla's past and her people. It was amazing to him, how they embraced him, and made him feel like he belonged. It was partly because he pitched in. He helped with crops, hunting, structural repairs... Anywhere he was needed. In fact he enjoyed the work. He spent a lot of time with Halling, who enjoyed telling him stories of the Athosians and of the Pegasus.
In the evening many gathered around a camp fire in the center of the settlement after dinner. John sat next to Teyla enjoying a cup of Ruse wine. It had quite a kick, but one cup wouldn't give him a hangover. There was a soft bustle of conversations being held, as friends and neighbors talked about their day. Then the giddy voice of a young girl rose up above the chatter, just enough to get everyone's attention.
-Zola: Halling, could you tell us the story of the Brave Princess before we go to bed?
-Halling: I'd be glad to. Come, children... Gather around.
The children gathered quickly, and the adults settled down as well, eager to hear Halling's rendition of this true story. John looked at Teyla, and noticed she looked a little somber as Halling began.

-Halling: For as long as history had been told, The Athosians lived in fear of the Wraith. Once upon a time we dwelt with the Ancients and lived in great cities, But the Wraith destroyed our cities, and decimated our populations during the Great War. Afterwards, they would return every two hundred years to feed on the innocent during the Culling of the Great Awakening. Every five years the Wraith would return to Athose in small numbers, culling a smaller number of people and reminding us that we should live in fear. There was no end to the suffering. That was until our people were blessed with the gifted. The Athosians were near extinction, when the first of he gifted came to us. For hundreds of years, the gifted kept the Athosians protected.
Many years ago when I was just a boy, there was a great leader amongst our people. She possessed this special gift. She was a true Athosian princess, gifted with the ability to detect the Wraith and save her people as was her mother, and her grandparents before her.

All eyes and ears were on Halling. Teyla love hearing stories about he mom, even though it broke her heart a little. She didn't remember her because she was a baby when her mother was lost. Even though Halling was just a boy at the time he had known Tegan. But there were not many alive who knew her well, so any opportunity to hear about her was embraced by Teyla.

-Halling: And so we were protected by our gifted Princess. When the Wraith would come we took to the caverns for shelter. Many lives were saved because we knew when they were coming. But still our numbers were few. The princess encouraged her people to have children, build families and not live in fear. Many did have children, but they never let go of the fear that their children would be lost. One day the Princess gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. And in that moment she knew that if the Athosians were to survive, these children would need a chance to live.
A few months later the darts arrived through the gate. Our princess warned us and we hid from the Wraith. None were taken that day. But as the darts were searching, the Princess left the safety of our shelter and exposed herself to the Wraith. She dialed the gate and went through, and the darts followed her.
-Zola: What happened to the princess?
-Holling: No one knows for sure. What we do know is that for the next 18 years, the Wraith did not return. It was the longest time of peace and tranquility that the Athosian people had known. The young children grew into adulthood, raised by their own parents. And many more children were born. Never before had so many children been born and raised on Athose.
-Jinto: It was the Princess. She kept them away, to save the children.
-Halling: Yes. She sacrificed her life for all of us to have a chance to live. We know not how she did it, but there is no doubt, we would be extinct if she had not saved us.
-Zola: Do you think she will ever return?
-Halling: I do not know. It has been almost three decades since the great sacrifice. But the Princess did not leave us alone. For the gift lives on in her daughter. Ok children it is time for bed. There is much to do in the morning.
-Children: Awww...

John accompanied Teyla to her home, were she prepared a bed for him. He had so many questions, but wasn't sure if he should ask. He wanted to know more about her, and he hoped she was open to telling him.
-John: the Princess in the story was your mother, Tegan?
-Teyla: Yes. Yes she was.
-John: So that makes you a princess, right?
-Teyla: (smiling) That is a term we no longer use. I prefer leader... and I am one of several... Halling, Kanan and Aryn lead our people with me. But I am the one who carries much of the burden. Halling has been a blessing. He has truly stepped up in my absence.
-John: Yeah, he's a great guy. Do you think your mother will ever come back to lead your people.
-Teyla: (looking sad) When I was a girl... For years I would dream of the day she would return. But then when I was eighteen, the Wraith came. I tried to warn everyone, but I had never sensed the Wraith before and I did not warn them in time to protect everyone. My father was taken, along with several others who did not seek shelter in time. That's when I knew she was not coming back.
-John: You knew she wasn't coming back, because the Wraith came?
-Teyla: Yes. She would have kept the Wraith away if she were still alive.
-John: I'm sorry. I know losing a parent... It's rough.
-Teyla: It is difficult.
He put his hand on her shoulder to comfort her, and she turned and put her arms around him. He gently rubbed her back, and allowed himself to just be in the moment with her. Slowly she pulled from his embrace.
-Teyla: Thank you for coming here on your day off, to work with my people.
-John: Are you kidding. I enjoyed it. Everyone has welcomed me with open arms. And I'm glad I can get to know you better.
-Teyla: You know me better than anyone.
-John: Well, I want to know you more.
John realized that this was getting more intense and intimate than he had planned. If circumstances were different, he would have made a move. But they had to keep things just friends.
-John: We'd better get some rest.
-Teyla: Yes. We have a busy day tomorrow.
-John: Then I'll see you in the morning for tea.
-Teyla: (smiling) Good night John.

As she closed her eyes to sleep, she smiled. He remembered the tea. It seemed like such a simple thing, but it meant a great deal to her. And he was here with her these two days to work. There was no feast no rest day, just work. Her heart fluttered as she tried to calm her emotions, and remind herself that they were just friends.

~ Post Episode S2E16 " The Long Goodbye" ~

Teyla was happy to walk John back to his quarters after Becket released him from the infirmary. They made small talk as they went down the hall, but once they were in his room, they both had a lot to say.
-Teyla: John... I want to apologize for what happened.
-John: What do you mean?
-Teyla : For almost shooting you... I didn't have any choice. If there was any other way...
-John: Hey... You don't need to apologize. There were a lot of lives at stake. You did the right thing.
-Teyla: And yet you did not think I would do it.
-John: Well that was his interpretation of what I was thinking. I knew you would do it if you had to... But I knew you wouldn't want to. That you would try to find a way not to...
-Teyla: So I should not consider anything that Thalen said.
Suddenly John was at a loss for words. He knew exactly what she was referring to. " He cares for you more than you know". Those were Thalen's words but it was John's feelings. How was he supposed to respond to that? Teyla had made it clear that they should keep their feelings to themselves, and John was doing his best. His time with Teer in the time dialation field for what seemed like months, let him realize that he did want to have someone in his life. But he didn't want just another fling. That's why he turned down Mara when she came to his room for sex. And he hated being jealous of Ronon and Teylas relationship, even though he knew there was nothing going on between them, She and Ronon had no problems expressing their feelings, and yet John and Teyla had to keep theirs to themselves. How could he share his feelings when he couldn't have Teyla, the woman he wanted? So what was the point of talking about those feelings?
-John: Like I said, they were all his words to my thoughts. ( Changing the subject) Becket says I'm good to go. So I can still go with you to the Athosian settlement if you will have me.
-Teyla: That will be three visits in a row. I am surprised you have not tired of coming along with me yet.
-John: I never get tired of spending time with you.
-Teyla: Ronon is coming along as well.
-John: Great. The more the merrier, they always say.

~ Missing scenes S2E18 " Michael"~

*7:00

John had not wanted Teyla to go to Michael's quarters, but she had insisted. The young man seemed so lost and confused. In fact the only time he was truly comfortable was when he was with Teyla. She showed him around his quarters, but nothing was familiar to him. Nothing but her. He picked up a picture. And then walked over to her. John watched the monitor closely, wanting to protect her.
-Teyla: They are your parents.
There was a long pause as Michael's eyes went from the photo to Teyla. He suddenly felt so close to her. He couldn't explain it.

-Michael: I don't remember them at all.
-Teyla: (smiling) Give it time.
-Michael: Thank you for staying with me. I'd be going crazy if you weren't here.
-Teyla: I am glad I could be here for you.
-Michael: We were more than just friends weren't we?
-Teyla: What do you mean?
-Michael: I mean... I can feel a deep connection between us. I feel like I know you and you know me... I'm sorry. You probably haven't said because I don't remember you.

~John: (from the monitoring room to his men) Ok guys get her out of there.
~Sgt: Yes sir.

-Teyla: There are some things that it is best if you remember on your own.
-Michael: Well, I really wish I could remember you.
Michael slowly raised his right hand to gently touch Teyla's face. It was slightly alarming to her that it was once his feeding hand. Immediately when he touched her he felt the connection grow even stronger. Teyla's heart did a nervous flutter in her chest. The door opened quickly ad the two separated from each other.
-Sgt: Lt. Kenmore, it's time for lunch. Ms Emmagan, col. Shepard would like to see you.
-Michael: I was hoping you would stay with me for lunch.
-Teyla: I shall meet you afterwards for your physical therapy.
-Michael: I better get going.

John immediately went to Teyla. He didn't care what Heightmeyer said. He didn't want Teyla hanging around Michael.
-John: What were you doing in there?
-Teyla: I was trying to help him John. We've done this to him.
-John: You have to be careful with him. Don't get to close.

*
Teyla did not take John's advice. She felt as if they were responsible for what Michael was going through, and she was obligated to help in any way she could. The first physical therapy session ended badly with Ronon pinning Michael to the wall. And now their therapy was being cut short as Michael was telling her about the nightmare. She did her best to comfort him, by telling him that she had the dreams too.

The Dream

John wasn't sleeping very well since Michael's arrival. Tonight Carson gave him a couple of pills to help him sleep through the night. Within minutes he was out cold, and dreaming a very familiar dream.

John walked down the hallway from his quarters to Teyla's and opened her door. She was lying across her bed naked, with the moonlight enhancing her silhouette. His heart skipped a beat and as the door closed behind him.

-John: I got your message that you needed my help.

-Teyla: Yes, John. I seem to have a cramp in my leg. I was hoping you could work it out for me.

-John: I'd be happy to help in any way I can.

He slowly walked over to the bed and sat at her side. He put his hands to her calf and began gently rubbing. She leaned back on her elbows, taking slow heavy breaths.

-John: (with a sly grin) How's that?

-Teyla: That's good…. Perhaps a little higher.

-John: As you wish.

His heart was pounding in his chest as he slid his hands up to her thigh.

~John: I think that's the spot right there.

~Teyla: Oh yes! Don't stop!

John was now deep into his dream, but he wasn't the only one having this same dream. For some reason, Teyla found her self experiencing this dream as she slept in her quarters. Completely unaware that it was John's dream, she found herself getting into it, and hoping she wouldn't wake up.

In Johns dream he was with Teyla, all night long, but Teyla's dream took a disturbing turn.

It was wonderful at first. But when she opened her eyes, it was no longer John making love to her. It was Michael.

Teyla woke abruptly, startled that her fantasy had ended with Michael and not John. And it had felt so real. Her heart was beating fast and she was flustered, still able to feel the sensation as if it were real.

What neither John nor Teyla knew was that Michael had experienced the dream as well. He was completely unaware of them experiencing it with him. In fact he simply thought he was having a dream about Teyla. He woke up seconds after she did with the strange sensation. He wasn't sure what he had experienced. He only knew that it strengthened his desire for Teyla.

Unfortunately over the next couple of days things got far worse, until Michael eventually uncovered the truth. They tried taking him to the Alpha sight for further treatments, but he managed to escape and take Teyla with him.

*39:10
Teyla could not understand how he could so easily get inside her mind. Why was she running with him. She tried to reason with him as they walked the unknown planet. She could hear how much pain he was in.
-Teyla: How much further must we walk?
-Michael: We'll rest up ahead
-Teyla: I am sensing something. There are Wraith nearby.
-Michael: Yes there are.
Teyla turned around and realized he was changing. It frightened her at first but she quickly got a hold of herself
-Teyla: it is not too late. We can still go back. Dr. Becket can give you an injection...take away the pain...
-Michael: No! This is how it's supposed to be. I'm going to turn into what I was... What I am.
He walked towards her realizing that very soon he would not be human any more. He suddenly got an urge, but he wasn't sure what it was. He had felt it before towards Teyla but he did not understand the feeling. Teyla felt the bindings on her hands come undone, but she could not force herself to fight or run. He was messing with her head again...controlling her. She pulled off the black military vest that he was wearing, then She laid down on the ground and he laid beside her. He was trying to understand this strange unknown feeling that was taking over him, and she seemed to be causing it. Now laying beside her, gave him some comfort to the urge.

He felt a sense of shame for giving in to the human urges. He got up and left Teyla laying on the ground. She woke up a short time later, unsure of what had happened, but she had a sinking feeling that he had laid with her. She wanted to ask him what he had done to her but before she could she saw the Hive ship in the distance.
-Michael: This is what I was drawn to.
-Teyla: They are aware of us.(pause) They are coming.
-Michael: I know and I will return to them.
-Teyla: Then we shall be enemies again.
-Michael: We never stopped being enemies.
Teyla wanted to know the truth about what Michael had done to her, but she was afraid of the truth.
-Teyla: What will you do with me? Feed on me? Is that why you brought me all this way?
Suddenly the shame of what He had done struck him, and he couldn't look at her. He had felt two distinct urges. The Wraith urge to feed on her and the human urge to be with her. Now he had to face her.
-Michael: I'd be lying if said I didn't feel the urge... Now that I'm truly able to feed again... I feel that even more.
-Teyla: Then go ahead.
Michael struggled still with the two separate urges. He wanted to have her, touch her, be with her again. But he could sense the others coming. They would know what he had done. They would know that he was weak to this human woman. He had to feed. Before he could, John and Ronon came to her rescue.

*
Once they were all back at Atlantis, Carson went to his medical lab to put away his things. He wasn't completely surprised that Teyla came to see him. Michael had kidnapped her. It was possible she had a minor injury, even though she had said she was fine.
-Carson: Hello Dear, how are you feeling?
-Teyla: (slightly agitated) I am fine.
-Carson: Well if that were true, I don't think you would be here. Why don't you tell me what it is.
-Teyla: ( her voice was shaky) I... I think I may have...
-Carson: (very concerned) Please come sit down tell me what's got you so upset.
-Teyla: I think Michael may have done something to me. I don't remember.
-Carson: What do you think he has done?
-Teyla: I think (taking a deep breath) he may have forced himself on me while he was controlling my mind. One minute we were standing, and the next I was laying on the ground with some of his clothing. My bindings were undone, and... I felt something... A pain... I have not been with a man before so I'm just not sure...
-Carson: Oh dear Lord. Teyla, I am so sorry. I can give you a quick exam, and then we will know for certain.
-Teyla: (nodding) Thank you.
Carson gave Teyla an exam, and to his dismay, she was correct. He was tempted to tell her she was mistaken, for her own peace of mind. But he knew better. The truth would come out eventually, and she would never forgive him.
-Teyla: Carson... Please tell me.
-Carson: I'm sorry Teyla. You were right.
-Teyla: (taking a deep breath and looking away from him) I see. Is it possible that I could become...
-Carson: I don't know. But I want you to take this. (handing her a pill) It will ensure that you don't.
She continued to look away, with her chin held high. Carson knew it was her way to keep from crying. He put his hand on her shoulder to comfort her. In turn she put her hand on his. Even with his gentle hand to help her she could not stop the single tear from escaping and tricking down her cheek.
-Carson: This is my fault. You were against this from the beginning. And now men are dead and you've been hurt.
-Teyla: I know that this was not the outcome that you were hoping for. We are fighting a battle against an enemy that has been victorious for thousands of years. I do not blame you.
-Carson: I think you should speak to Dr. Heighmayer.
-Teyla: No. I'd rather not have others know about this. Perhaps I could just talk to you if I need to?
-Carson: I'm not a psychiatrist, I don't think I'd be much help.
-Teyla: no, but you are my friend. And that is all I need.

~ Missing Scenes S2E20 "Allies" ~

The Wraith delegation was set to arrive. Carson was preparing his medical research lab to conduct the experiments. He was surprised to find out that Michael would be arriving with them. He left the lab and went to find Teyla. He wasn't sure if she knew, but he wanted her be far away from him. He looked everywhere but couldn't find her. He looked at his watch and knew he needed to get back to the lab. Fortunately he saw Ronon on his way back.
-Carson: Excuse me, Ronon, have you seen Teyla?
-Ronon: Yup. I think she's meditating. She said she's preparing to pay Michael a visit when he gets here.
-Carson: I was afraid of that.
-Ronon: What?
-Carson: Look, you have to keep her away from him.
-Ronon: He's going to be under heavy guard. Besides, Teyla's a big girl...
-Carson: (clearly upset) Look I don't care about any of that! You keep him away from her!
-Ronon: Doc, what's going on?
-Carson: (calming down) I... I can't say. I made a promise to Teyla. Please, just ask her to stay away from him
-Ronon: Huh... Ok.

Ronon ran down to one of the private rooms that Teyla often used for meditating. She was just blowing out the candles. She felt strong and ready to confront Michael. She smiled when she saw Ronon, but he wasn't smiling.
-Teyla: What is it Ronon?
-Ronon: I was thinking it's not a good idea for you to see Michael.
-Teyla: Why not? He will be under heavy guard. I will be fine.
-Ronon: I talked to Becket... and he said...
-Teyla: What! He promised not to tell anyone what Michael did to me!
By the look on Ronon's face Teyla relished he had no idea what she was talking about. There was no taking it back now.
-Ronon: (getting angry) what did Michael do to you?
-Teyla: Ronon, there is no need to go over any of this. What's done is done, but I need to see him! I have to face him!
-Ronon: (trying to be calm) Teyla... What did he do to you?
Teyla could not say. She only shook her head and looked away. Ronon felt like a fire was raging inside him. He knew what Teyla could not bring herself to say, and every fiber in him wanted to blow Micheal out of the Galaxy.
-Teyla: you won't stop me from going.
-Ronon: I know. I'm going with you.

* post scene 17:30

Teyla was glad that she had the opportunity to face Michael, and show him that he had not broken her. Somehow she wasn't afraid of him. She almost felt sorry for him.
But Ronon was still raging inside. If it wasn't for the safety of Atlantis he would have killed Micheal in a heart beat. He got little satisfaction from holding the gun to his head. It was bad enough that he was a wraith, but knowing what he did to Teyla was driving him crazy.
-Teyla: Ronon, I know that you are feeling a great deal of anger, but it is over. I have let it go, and you need to do the same.
-Ronon: You can just let it go, after what he did to you?
-Teyla: Now we must think about what is best for Atlantis and the entire galaxy. We need Michael to make this work.
-Ronon: You trust them?
-Teyla: Of course not. They are Wraith.

~ Insight and missing scene from S3E4 "Sateda" ~

John was not good at talking about his feelings. None the less, Teyla was grateful that he made the effort. Truly over the past several months John had come through as a true friend time and time again. He made every effort to visit the Athosian settlement with Teyla each time she went. She was so happy to see how far John would go to save Ronon. And what he said about doing anything for his friends meant the world to her. Fighting by his side and helping Ronon was like icing on the cake.
They sat in the back of the jumper watching Ronon sleep as Carson and McKay flew the jumper back to the Daedalus. They were both exhausted and Teyla rested her head on his shoulder. He had touched her hand while on the Daedalus before and now she was reaching out to him. He didn't say anything now. He just let her rest on him.

*
A few days after they returned to Atlantis, Ronon and John accompanied Teyla to the Athosian settlement. It was the final workday, and then they would have a day of rest. John and Teyla helped the Athosians with their crops and making minor repairs around the settlement, while Ronon joined a hunting party. That night they began to prepare the food for the rest day. John had just finished helping Halling, when he smelled the aroma of one of his favorite dishes. He walked up behind Teyla as she was stirring the giant pot.
-John: Now that smells delicious. What do you call this one again?
-Teyla: It is called Tuttle root Soup. It is a recipe passed on to me by Charin.
-John: Well it's my favorite. Can I just get a little...
-Teyla: (laughing) No. It is not ready yet.
-John: (Making his best pouting face) please... Just one little taste...
-Teyla: Okay, but then you must wait until tomorrow. Remember John, the reward is great for those who wait.
Something about her words made him smile. She took the giant spoon from the pot and blew on it to cool it off, before bringing it to John's mouth. He was so relaxed with her here. Sometimes he imagined that this could be their life together. But these were thoughts that he had to push aside. He belonged to the military... to Earth, and not this place, no matter how much he cared for them. No matter how much he cared for Teyla.
In the distance Kanan watched the two of them together. Time and time again Teyla returned with these men from Atlantis... Her new life. In fact, she hardly acknowledged his presence when John and Ronon where with her. He had tried to move on with Mika, a young woman who also shared their gift, but he did not care for her as he did Teyla. He needed some advice, and went to Halling's home.
-Halling: Kanan, come in my friend. What can I do for you?
-Kanan: She is here again with those men from Atlantis.
-Halling: Yes... Ronon, however is from Sateda
-Kanan: But he is not Athosian, and he doesn't have the gift. Besides, it is Shepard whom she has affection for. I can see it in her eyes. When he comes with her, she acts as if she does not know me.
-Halling: Ah, I see.
-Kanan: I do not know what to do.
-Halling: Do you love her?
-Kanan: Yes, I do. I have always loved her.
-Halling: And what of young Mika?
-Kanan: (sigh) Mika has the gift. It is not as strong as mine or Teyla's but she does posses the ability. If Teyla chooses to break the betrothal...
-Halling: Yes, Mika would be a suitable match.
-Kanan: I am only thinking about my future... And the future of our people.
-Halling: Good. Because if your intention was to make Teyla jealous, then you made a terrible mistake. You being with Mika only makes it easier for Teyla to find someone else.

*
The rest day was an enjoyable time. Everyone in the settlement took the time to visit with friends and loved ones. At noon they all gathered for a picnic of sorts. Many families from the settlement brought food to share. They played sporting games and told stories. The kids loved to hear John's stories of life on Earth. Today he told the kids about trains and cars.
As John was talking, Kanan saw an opportunity to speak with Teyla. She was preparing a bowl of soup for an elderly woman. Kenan walked up to her with his own bowl and held it out.
-Kenan: Could you spare some for an old friend.
-Teyla: (smiling) Kanan. It is good to see you. How is Mika?
-Kenan: She is well... But she is not you, my betrothed.
-Teyla: (concerned) I thought surly you had moved on...
-Kenan: Mika would be an acceptable match should you chose to break our promise. It is not I who has moved on from you. I worry that you have moved on from Athos.
-Teyla: Kanan...
He walked away and she did not try to stop him. She had not moved on from her people. She loved them. She was deep in thought and did not hear Ronon walk up behind her.
-Ronon: Who's that?
-Teyla: His name is Kanan. He is a friend from my childhood.
-Ronon: He likes you.
-Teyla: Yes, I realize that now.
Once the sun went down, Teyla thought it might be a good idea to talk with Kanan. She had no idea how he felt about their betrothal. Part of her hoped that he wanted to end things, and move on with his life. If he would let her go, it would make things so much easier for her. She came to his home and called out for him.
-Teyla: Kanan... Are you home?
-Kanan: (from inside) Teyla?
She walked in when she heard him call her name but to her surprise she saw him with Mika in a very compromising position. Mika had her legs spread wide with Kann on top of her. The both tried to get up quickly, they were not fast enough. She quickly turned to leave and he came after her.
-Teyla: oh, I am so very sorry for intruding...
-Kanan: Teyla wait! (Pulling up his pants and catching up to her) I apologize.
-Teyla: You do not need to apologize Kanan. I understand. We have not chosen to move forward with our betrothal, and you have every right to pursue other possibilities.
-Kanan: I know, but honestly Teyla, it is you that I want. If you would come back to the settlement and let go of...
-Teyla: I can not do that. I belong in Atlantis
-Kanan: You belong with your people. I love you Teyla.
-Mika: (from inside) Kanan...
-Teyla: You should go to her.
-Kanan: And will you go to John Sheppard tonight?
-Teyla: Kanan, I have not taken a man to my bed.
-Kanan: (pleasantly surprised) You have kept yourself for me?
-Teyla: I have kept myself for my people. I would not break our commitment so easily. I understand that any man I chose could lead by my side one day. And I understand the importance of passing on the gift.
-Kanan: I promise you that Mika is the only woman I have taken to my bed. And if you commit to our betrothal... To us... I will let her go. It is you that I love.
-Teyla: I can not do that.
Teyla walked away and found John and Ronon. She was not ready to promise herself to Kanan, even though her loyalty to her people was strong. Her feelings for John grew stronger every day.

Later that night John and Teyla went for a walk. It was so peaceful under the stars. In fact it was almost romantic. John hadn't expected the setting to be so intimate but it was nice, and he didn't mind.
-John: This has been perfect. It's exactly what I needed before this busy week coming up.
-Teyla: I'm sure you are excited to be testing Rodney's new gate bridge.
-John: Yeah. It'll be great to be able to go to Earth more often.
-Teyla: I'm sure it will be nice to go home and see your friends and family.
-John: Ehh... I miss Earth sometimes but you are my family. And Atlantis is my home. Hell, I feel more at home hear in this settlement than I ever did back home on Earth.
-Teyla: John... You are always welcome here.
-John: I know, and... Well... Thank you, for... You know, letting me come here and invade your space all the time.
-Teyla: (smiling) it has meant a lot to me that you have taken the time to come and get to know my people. And to spend time with me.
-John: (smiling) Its been my pleasure. I've enjoyed every moment.
-Teyla: Me too.
They were standing face to face and there was complete silence. She looked so beautiful underneath the moonlit sky. She could feel the butterflies twirling away inside her because of what he said... Or tried to say. His heart pounded as he contemplated kissing her. He couldn't even count how many times he had resisted the urge to feel his lips pressed against hers again. He was so tired of denying himself, the one thing he really wanted. But if he did give in, he'd risk losing her on his team, and he couldn't take that away from her.
-John: It's late... We better get back and get some rest.

~ Missing scene S3E10 "The Return" ~

John had told Elizabeth that he had one otr two other things to do. He figured there was no need to go into details. The mess hall was earily quiet as most everyone was gone or preparing to leave. John Rodney Teyla and Ronon, sat on the balcony finishing up a late night snack. It would be their last time all together. They talked about old times and had a few laughs and a few somber moments. Ronon promised that he would keep looking for Aiden.

-Rodney: As much as I hate to go, I have a few more things from the lab to take to the gateroom.

-Ronon: Need a hand?

-Rodney: Yeah, actually… That'd be great.

-Ronon: C'mon.

John and Teyla watched as their two friends left the balcony. He got up and waved for her to join him

At the edge of the balcony. They took in the cool fresh ocean air and the night sky. Who knew if they'd ever get a view like this again.

-John: I was just remembering when we first met.

-Teyla: (smiling) You came to 'trade'. But you were really in need of help. I remember.

-John:: We were strangers and yet you trusted us.

-Teyla: I trusted you John. From the moment we met. I can not explain it. But I just knew I could trust you.

-John: You changed my life, Teyla.

-Teyla: And you changed mine. We will never be the same.

-John: You made me a better person.

-Teyla: Thank you for rescuing me, John.

She took his hand in hers, and they stared out into the night sky. As They stood together she leaned on him just a little and let her head rest on the side of his shoulder. He turned his head slightly letting his lips give her a soft peck on the top of her head., followed by a deep breath in to memorize her sent. He caught himself , and quickly looked back out into ocean and the stars above. He hoped she hadn't noticed. Him steal that one last special thing from her. But she knew. For she did the same. As her head rested on his shoulder she memorized his sent. As she held his hand she memorized the feel of his skin. For as long as they could, they would stay in this moment.

It was an incredibly painful day. Everyone put on a brave face, but inside there was a lot of hurt. The Ancients had finally returned and now the Expedition and the Athosians were being forced to leave. It was especially painful for John, Teyla and Ronon. They were being split up, with no guarantee that they would see each other again. It was killing John, and Teyla was heartbroken. Now everything was packed and it was time for them to leave. Teyla walked with John to the gate. It was the slowest they had ever walked as they dreaded the moment when they would reach their destination.
-John: I can't believe I'm not going to be there to help your people get settled in.
-Teyla: I know. It is difficult to imagine.
He suddenly stopped and stood in front of her. He had to say something to let her know how sorry he was. But he was so bad at trying to express himself, and this was a terrible time to say the wrong thing. But he knew that saying nothing would be even worse.
-John: Look, Teyla, what I said yesterday... If I could stay I would. I would do anything for you. This is killin me. You know that, right?
-Teyla: Yes...
-John: I will do whatever it takes to come back... I won't stop trying to come back, ok?
-Teyla: I know... I always knew this day would come... That one day you would have to leave and I would have to stay...
She took a deep breath and looked away from him quickly. He knew that she was trying not to cry, and that made his heart sink to the pit of his stomach. Now more than ever he wanted to kiss her, but it would be so wrong to do it now, when he was moments from leaving... Moments from possibly never seeing her again. But as she did so often, she came to his rescue and put her arms around him. As her head rested against his chest, he let his hand slowly rest on her back. His cheek gently rested against her hair, as he took in a deep breath. She always smelled so nice. Things seemed to stop for a moment. For a moment there was peace and everything was as it should be. She was not just by his side. She was in his arms.
This moment gave them the strength to finish their short journey to the gate. They all put on their brave face, but they all felt horrible, and the goodbyes were painful.

*
The first couple of weeks at the settlement were rough. Starting over was never easy. At least she had Ronon. He was her only comfort during this painful time. She often found herself fighting back tears from missing her friends so much, but mostly from missing John.
Ronon noticed that Kanan often came by to help Teyla. At first it aggravated him, because he truly thought John and Teyla belonged together. He even considered getting between them, perhaps taking Teyla for himself. But he knew that wouldn't be fair to Teyla. He loved her dearly, but not the way that he had once loved Malina. And Teyla deserved someone who loved her completely.

John was absolutely miserable at Stargate Command. He hadn't seen Elizabeth since they first arrived and his new team, quite frankly...sucked. The only saving grace was that he often had dinner with Carson and Rodney. But He missed Ronon and Teyla. When he tried for weeks to assigned to the Daedalus, just so he could get back to the Pegasus galaxy. But O'Neill and the IOA new that he might never come back.
At night, John would pull out his Banto sparing stick and yield them around. He remembered every match that he and Teyla ever had. Over and over again the one match that stood out in his mind was the one when he actually had the guts to kiss her. Yeah sure, he was hyped up on bug venom, but it felt good to do it. He only regretted not doing it again. He had so many chances, and never took them.
John had a secret. Every night after practicing with the Banto sticks, he would pull out a lace and leather top that he had snagged from Teyla when moving her things. He would have been mortified if anyone knew he took it. He liked the way it smelled... It smelled like her. And at night his dreams were of their sparing sessions and, of course, their time on the mainland together.

Elizabeth had become a complete recluse. Her friends had all made attempts to call her, but she never picked up the phone. She tried writing her memoirs about her time in Atlantis, but there was more to say than she could manage to put into words.

Carson's invitation to dinner was just what she needed to get out of her funk. Part of her was looking forward to seeing everyone… to seeing John. And it was nice spending time with them. But it also saddened her. It reminded her that the amazing life she had on Atlantis was over. John spent a lot of time complaining about his new team, and how much he missed Ronon and Teyla. i

*
There was no doubt in Johns mind what he had to doter finding out about the replicator take over.. He didn't care what the military or the IOA was going to do to him. He was going back for Atlantis, for Ronon, but most of all, for Teyla.
When they arrived through the Stargate at the new Athosian settlement, John made a b line for Teyla's tent. He hoped it would be were he had taken her things. And it was. John could smell his favorite soup brewing, and heard Ronon and Teyla having a conversation.
-Teyla: I know that you are anxious to return to the fight, but my people are farmers.
Ronon: Maybe this isn't the place for me then...
-John: That smells great! Hope you saved some for us.
-Teyla: John! It is so good to see you. All of you.
-Elizabeth: And you.
-John: I miss that... Whatever that is.
Teyla was elated when she saw John and the others. But her joy was stifled when Ronon realized something was wrong. They went inside and John and Rodney explained the situation and the plan to rescue O'Neill, Woolsey, and Atlantis.
-Teyla: I must inform my people.
-John: I'll go with you.
-Teyla: No need. I will only be a moment.
-John: Ok. We leave in 5 minutes.
Teyla ran to Halling's tent as fast as she could. Kanan had heard that the puddle jumper was here and also went to Halling's to find out what was going on.
-Teyla: Halling, Kanan... My friends are here. Atlantis is in trouble, and I must go with them to help.
-Halling: What about the ancestors?
-Teyla: They are gone. If we do not go now Atlantis will be lost.
-Halling: I understand.
-Kanan: But I do not! Teyla, these people abandoned you. We need you here.
-Teyla: I know. And I will return.
She walked out of the tent and Kanan followed her. She knew he was upset, but she did not have time to explain.
-Kanan: Teyla wait. Why are you doing this?
-Teyla: I wish I could explain it to you Kanan. Atlantis is the key to freeing our Galaxy of this never ending war. I know that if there is anything I can do to help... I must.
-Kanan: I will try to understand. But it is difficult.
-Elizabeth: (walking up to them) Teyla, it's time.
-Teyla: I am coming. (to Kanan) I must go now.
-Elizabeth: Who was that?
-Teyla: He is Kanan. We have been friends since we were children.
-Elizabeth: He looks worried about you.
-Teyla: Yes, I know he is. Come. We must hurry.

Once they got rid of the replicators, they were all able to return to Atlantis. It didn't take long for things to go back to normal.
The first thing John and Teyla did was grab their Banto sticks and head to the gym. When he opened their wrap he was embarrassed that her top fell out. She raised an eyebrow, and gave him a coy smile.
-Teyla: I had wondered what happened to that top.
-John: huh... I wonder how that got in there. I suppose I should give this back to you.
-Teyla: as long as I do not have to give back your "doggy tags" I believe you call them...
-John: So that's were they went.

It was fair to say that over the next several weeks Teyla and John's feelings for each other grew even stronger. It was as if being separated had brought them closer together. He spent much of his free time at the Athosian settlement with Tayla. Kanan could see that the return of the Atlantis Expedition, had strengthened Teyla's bond to them, and it broke his heart. He wasn't giving up on them yet, but he did hope that Teyla would see the truth. If John had to leave again he would.
But that is not how Teyla saw things. John had said he didn't want to go and that he would come back, no matter what... And he did. It was hard for her to hide that she had become starry eyed when it came to John.
John could feel the close bond between them getting stronger, but it made him nervous. It was hard to resist her, but he had to if she was going to stay on his team. As much as he wanted her, he came to the realization that this was good. What they had together could be enough.

~ Missing scene and post episode S3E16 "The Ark" ~

It had been a hair raising landing. John wouldn't admit it but he didn't actually expect to survive this one. But it was the only way to save Teyla. His body was sore from the impact of the landing, but all he could think about was that it worked. He had a few minutes alone to think about what he had done. Rodney had pleaded with him not to do it... He said it was impossible. John knew he was right. But what choice did he have. He couldn't leave her there to die.

*
It was a short walk from the infirmary to Carson's medical lab. Elizabeth had just left John and Teyla, and was curious about the storage device. She was surprised to hear Rodney's voice loud and clear as she approached the lab.
-Rodney: maybe because you don't understand astrophysics, but I'm telling you it was reckless.! The chances of him landing that thing were slim to none to begin with.
-Carson: Look, I get it Rodney. But he survived.
-Rodney: He survived because he got lucky. I'm telling you it shouldn't have worked! It's the equivalent to sticking a loaded gun to his head, pulling the trigger and surviving because the gun malfunctions. It was a suicide mission, and I can't figure out why he'd do it.
-Elizabeth: (walking in) you know John would risk his life for any of us.
-Rodney: No... This goes beyond risk. I begged him not to do it. I saw the look in his eye. He knew I was right... I'm telling you, he didn't think it was going to work.
-Elizabeth: But he did it anyway?
Elizabeth walked away. She forgot all about the reasons she had gone to the lab. She was very good friends with both John and Teyla. She could tell that the bond between the two of them was growing stronger and stronger. But to know that John would die to save her... That he would not want to live if Teyla did not live, put an ache in her heart that she could not shake.

She managed to catch up to him later as he was leaving the mess hall. He had a couple of fruit cups in his hand and was no doubt going back to the imfirmary. She called after him, and stopped him in his tracks.

-Elizabeth: Colonel, do you have a minute.

-John: Sure. I was just taking a late night snack to the infirmary for Teyla. What's up?

-Elizabeth: I need you to make an appointment to speak with Dr. Heightmayer tomorrow.

-John: (with curiosity) Why do I need to see Heightmayer?

-Elizabeth: You have a few days before your next mission. I just want to make sure you're doing all right. That was a close call.

-John: Yeah, but we have close calls all the time. I'm fine.

-Elizabeth: John, Roodney told me that it was a suicide mission… and you knew it. The only reason you survived is because you got lucky. I just need to make sure you're not…

-John: Not what? Trying to kill myself. Because trust me I'm not. I did it to save Teyla. I wasn't about to leave her to die.

-Elizabeth: John, it's one thing to risk your life to save someone. It's noble, and heroic. But to volunteer to die because the mission is impossible…

-John: But I didn't die., Elizabeth! I saved Teyla and we're fine.

-Elizabeth: You're fine because you got lucky. You could have killed yourself. Why would you do that?

-John: I did it to save Teyla, and that's all there is to it. I wasn't about to leave her behind to die. And I'd do it again in a heartbeat. Now if you think that makes me mentally incapable of leading the military on this base, that's your prerogative.

-Elizabeth: That's not what I'm saying…

-John: Good. Now, I'm going to visit my team mate in the infirmary, if that's okay.

-Elizabeth: I was just worried about you.

-John: (trying to be more understanding) I know. And I appreciate it. I do. But I'm fine.

-Elizabeth: Okay John. But do think about talking to Dr. Heighmayer, if you need to.

-John: I'll think about.

~ Pre-Episode and missing scenes S3E17 "Sunday" ~

As much as John was content with things the way they were, Teyla was ready to put everything out there and let John know how she felt. She walked with Harriet Houston down the hall after sparing practice to ask for advice.
-Harri: I'm telling you , every girl on base got butterflies when we heard what Col. Shepard had done to rescue you. I mean we know you all put your lives on the line for us all the time, but this was... Like something out of a romance novel.
-Teyla: I know. I can't help but wonder...
-Harri: If he has feelings for you? Well I think it's obvious he does.
-Teyla: But he has never said anything.
-Harri: Perhaps it's the whole commanding officer thing with the military. Would you still be able to be on his team if you two got together?
-Teyla: That I am not sure. It would ultimately be up to Elizabeth. But I think I am willing to take the risk. I only wish I knew if he was as well. I think he is close to telling me how he feels. Perhaps if I just keep dropping hints...
-Harri: You should tell him how you feel. I doubt he knows that you'd be willing to risk losing your position on his team in order to possibly have a real relationship. Tell him that you are willing to throw caution to the wind and take a chance on romance. I bet he feels the same way.
-Teyla: I could never just say that to him.
-Harri: Why not? You like him don't you.
-Teyla: That is not the point.
-Harri: I think that's exactly the point actually.
-Teyla: The ways of my people are different. I would never ...
-Harri: Uhh... He's not going to make the first move.
-Teyla: Ahh, we shall see.
-Harri: You know him better than I do...
-Teyla: I would hope so.
-Harri: But I wouldn't be surprised if he was oblivious to the whole situation.
Teyla realized they were entering a heavily populated area, and was ready to change the subject. This was the most she had ever expressed to anyone about her feelings for John. But she was happy to be able to talk to someone about it.
-Teyla: It bears no further discussion.
-Harri: All right. I'm just saying, if you want me to have someone drop some hints...
-Teyla: When is the last time so many people had the day off?
Teyla was anxious to change the subject. She contemplated Harriet's advice as she headed back to the gym. The explosion happened so quickly that Teyla had no idea what happened. A large piece of metal went into her back and pierced her through. Lodged in place, the metal sliced through her lung and a major artery. In fact the only reason she was not killed instantly, was that it was still in place keeping her from bleeding out.

Ronon and John were hanging out in his room having their first one on one in a quite a while. Ronon could tell that Teyla's feelings for John had grown and was curious as to why John wasn't making a move. Clearly he had feelings for her. That stunt John pulled landing the shuttle to save her the week before proved that. So he was glad that John brought up the subject of dating. But Ronon knew that for Teyla it was more than a matter of dating. She needed a commitment. John was saddened to find out that Ronon had lost his love on Sateda. But the confession from Ronon confirmed that he wasn't trying to get together with Teyla... At least not yet.
-Ronon: What about you?
-John: What about me?
-Ronon: When are you getting married?
-John: (laughing) Already done that. Not very good at it. Besides there isn't anyone here that... You know...
-Ronon: 'Cause I always thought you and Teyla would you know...
-John: (with a huge grin) Really...
It meant a lot to John that Ronon thought he might be worthy of Teyla. She was a strong beautiful woman, and a leader in the Pegasus galaxy. He always had the feeling that they all expected her to be with an Athosian, or at least someone from their own galaxy.
-Ronon: (smiling) Yeah, why not?
-John: Uummm...
He thought about explaining that to Ronon, or the fact that Teyla might not be allowed to stay on his team. But before they could discuss the possibility any further, they heard the explosion.
Johns heart felt like it had dropped from his chest when he saw Teyla. He couldn't believe his eyes, and there was nothing he could do. He just needed Carson to tell him she would be alright, but he couldn't. He watched Carson take her away, as he struggled to focus on what was happening.

*
John sat by Teyla's side as he waited for her to wake up. Ronon was there with him most of the time, but John did not leave. He couldn't believe that earlier that day he had so many excuses why he and she were not together. Now it just seemed ridiculous. None of those excuses mattered. Elizabeth came by to check on her.
-Elizabeth: I think you guys could use a break. They could really use some help clearing out debris. It could help get your mind off things for a little while.
-John: I'm not leaving her.
-Elizabeth: We really could use your help John.
-John: I said I'm not going anywhere. I want to be here when she wakes up. I need to tell her about Carson.
-Elizabeth: Listen guys...
-John: I'm staying put! And that's final!
-Ronon: I'll go. Just have someone get me when she wakes up.
-John: Will do buddy.
Elizabeth walked away with Ronon, but she couldn't help but look back. When she did, she saw the way John looked at Teyla. He loved her.

*
A couple of hours later, she opened her eyes. She smiled when she saw Johns face, and reached her hand out to him. He took her hand in his.
-John: You had me worried there. I thought I was going to lose you.
-Teyla: ( softly) I was worried too. Thankfully, We have Carson.
She watched as John's demeanor changed and he grew very quiet. She had no idea why, but she knew something was wrong.
-Teyla: What is it?
-John: I have to tell you something. You friend Dr. Hewston died in the explosion.
-Teyla: What?
He could feel her hand tremble as he told her what had happened. He then explained how after Carson saved her life, he performed the surgery that saved Dr. Watson.
-Teyla: (with a soft smile) That doesn't surprise me. Carson is truly a remarkable person. I am proud to call him my friend.
-John: (taking a deep breath) Teyla... We lost Carson.
-Teyla: I... I don't understand...
-John: The second tumor exploded before the bomb squad could secure it.
-Teyla: (whispering) No...
She suddenly could not speak. She looked away, but held on tight to John's hand. She could hardly take in the shock of it all, but she was glad that John was there by her side.

*
Two days past by, and it was almost time for Carson's memorial. John had a couple of hours before it started, and wanted to spend some more time with Teyla. He would be back on Earth for 3 days, and wanted to spend every moment that he could with her before he left. Some how he was not surprised to see her trying to leave the infirmary. She insisted on being at the memorial because she was not able to go back to Earth. John carefully walked her to her quarters to change out of her hospital attire. She was very quiet. The last thing she had said to him was that she felt a great sadness. He felt it too. He hated leaving her when she was in so much pain, but he had to go, for Carson. When they arrived at her quarters, she asked him to come in.
-John: Do you want me to wait outside while you change?
-Teyla: I need you to help me.
-John: okay.
She pointed to the closet, and he went over to pick an outfit for her. She tried undressing herself but it was too difficult. John came up behind her and offered to help.
-John: Here, let me help you with that.
-Teyla: Thank you...
She barely got the words out when John heard something else. It was soft sniffles. She tried to mask it at first but it was no use. Once the tears started, she could not stop then. From behind, he put his hands on her arms and could feel her trembling. He walked around to face her, but she could not look up at him. He had seen her upset before, near tears and even fighting back tears, but this was the first time she had let him see her cry. And he could tell that she wanted to stop, but she couldn't.
-John: Hey, it's ok if you need to let it out.
-Teyla: (fighting back the tears) I need to be strong...
-John: Not right now you don't. There's nobody here but you and me.
-Teyla: oh, John...
She weakly put her arms partially around his waist, letting her head rest against his chest. He put his arms around her hoping to give her some comfort. As he held her he could feel how weak she was. It only reminded him that she almost died. He tried to push the thought away. The last thing he wanted was to start crying himself. But the thought wouldn't leave his mind. He suddenly pulled her away from him, which caught them both off guard. Teyla looked at him confused, as tears continued to run down her cheeks. Then without a word or warning he drew his lips to hers. Teyla felt herself weakening, but she never left his kiss. He put his arms around her again, this time to carefully hold her close to him. Finally he pulled out of the kiss, but not too far. Their foreheads and noses still touched ever so slightly. She could feel the warmth of his breath on her face.
-John: Teyla... I... I love you.
It took Teyla a moment to register what was happening. She wanted to tell him that she loved him too, but she was too choked up to get the words out. So she did the only thing she could do. She kissed him back. It was sweet... Calming. Neither of them wanted the moment to end, but it was almost time. She slowly pulled from his kiss and let her cheek rest on his chest one last time.
-John: You ok?
-Teyla: (nodding) Mmmhmm...
-John: Ok. Let me help you get ready.
He carefully helped her change for the memorial. He wanted to talk to her, but there wasn't time, and he didn't know what to say.
-John: I'm going to stay on Earth for a few days. I'll be back after Carson's funeral. Promise me that you'll rest and take care of yourself while I'm gone.
-Teyla: (in a whisper) I will... John... I have always loved you.

*
Teyla was in so much pain that she lost track of the days. Elizabeth checked in on her regularly, which was very nice. Atlantis seemed lonely and quiet with so many gone for Carson's funeral. Finally it was time for them to return.
Elizabeth stood on their balcony waiting for John to come and greet her. The moon was already shining in the night sky. Several minutes passed and John did not come out. She went back inside and saw Radek talking with Chuck.
-Elizabeth: Welcome back.
-Radek: Thank you. It's good to be back.
-Elizabeth: Where are the others?
-Radek: Rodney is staying an extra day. I believe Sheppard and Lorne retired to their quarters. I'm actually going myself.
-Elizabeth: have a good night.
She was disappointed that John had not gone to see her first, but she could understand why he would want to go to his room first. She decided to let Teyla know they had arrived. When she got off the transporter she saw John walking down the hall towards Teyla's room. She was about to call out to him, but then he entered Teyla's room without even knocking. She decided to have a seat and wait for John to visit with Teyla instead of interrupt them.
Teyla was in her room resting. She had the windows open to enjoy the cool night breeze and the beautiful moon light. She heard the door open behind her and knew it was John. She turned to him and smiled. She looked so beautiful in the moonlight. She wore a small silken robe that was partially open exposing her breasts. John wasn't sure what to expect, he just knew he had to come to her.
-John: I've missed you.
-Teyla: and I missed you. How was everything?
-John: It was ... pretty awful.
-Teyla: (with a gentle smile) Come rest with me.
John didn't hesitate. He took off his shirt and shoes and climbed into bed beside her. They snuggled close together. The chill from the breeze blowing through the window helped to intensify their body heat. She slowly pressed her back against his chest, as he nestled her into his arms. He thought that things would be awkward but it wasn't. What was happening between them felt completely natural. It reminded him of the first time they met. They connected instantly, trusted each other so easily. He kissed her shoulder and could feel the deep breath she took in at the touch of his lips.
He wasn't sure if she wanted to take things further. She was still recovering from her injury, and he worried about causing her pain. But it was Teyla herself who eased his mind. She turned to him, letting her lips make their way to his. Her soft kiss was like a powerful force rocking him to his core. Now he kissed her, not as gently, but equally as powerful. He laid her on her back, still kissing her, not wanting to release himself from their bond.

-John: before I left I told you that I love you... I just wanted you to know I meant it. I think I always have.
-Teyla: (smiling) I know. And I have always loved you.
-John: (smiling back) I know.

A couple of hours passed and Elizabeth had dozed off in the hallway. Dr. Biro was walking by and saw her curled up in the chair.
-Biro: ? Is everything okay?
-Elizabeth: (groggy) I was waiting for someone... I must have fallen asleep. Thank you for waking me.
-Biro: No problem. Do you need me to walk you back to your room. I could just...
-Elizabeth: No really. I'm fine.
She looked towards Teyla's quarters and took a sobering deep breath. If there was something going on, John would tell her. At least that is what she hoped.

Elizabeth sat in her quarters staring out at the night sky. It wasn't very late and she considered going back to her office to get some work done. Clearly she wasn't going to sleep any time soon. As she got up her door signaled and she quickly opened it. To her surprise it was Mike Branton.

-Elizabeth: Dr. Branton, I was just heading out. What can I do for you?

-Mike: Well, first you can call me Mike. We're off duty. And second, I was hoping we could talk.

Elizabeth: Well like I said I was just heading…

-Mike: Is it urgent?

-Elizabeth: Well, no, but I like to check on things…

-Mike: Then I won't keep you long. I just wanted to talk for a few minutes.

-Elizabeth: (with a sigh) Okay, come in. But just for a minute. What is it… Mike?

-Mike: I was just wondering why you've been avoiding me all week.

-Elizabeth: I wasn't avoiding you. I just…

-Mike: I'm pretty sure you've been avoiding me. And I just want you to know you don't have to. I know you think that getting involved with someone at work will split your focus.

-Elizabeth: It will. When the explosion happened I was off at another tower on a date.

-Mike: And you got back and handled everything. Nothing would have been different had you been in your office.

-Elizabeth: I realize that.

-Mike: And I've seen enough of you to know, nothing will split your focus.

-Elizabeth: I know…

-Mike: Then what's stopping you, really. Don't you think you deserve a little…

He wasn't able to finish his statement. Out of nowhere Elizabeth put both hands on his cheeks and pulled him into a kiss. Mike hadn't expected her to be so bold, but he wasn't thrown. He put his hands on her hips and pulled her closer to him. He would now follow her lead and let her decide how far to take things.

~ Post Episode S3E18 " Submersion"
It wasn't long after Rodney and Elizabeth left the room, that Ronon was fast asleep. Teyla and John gave each other a knowing smile as they heard the quiet rumbles off is snoring. It would be about an hour till the second jumper arrived so they had a little time to spare.
-John: I think he's sleep. Mind if I join you over there?
-Teyla: Do you think that's a good idea?
-John: Oh, I do.
-Teyla: (making room on her small bed) Well then by all means.
John hopped up and made sure the door was locked. He claimed into bed with her. The tight fit didn't bother them at all.
-John: So... How tired are you.
-Teyla: (Raising an eyebrow) I am not very tired at all.
-John: (He put his arms around her and grabbed her bottom) Me either. I can think of a lot better things to do.
-Teyla: (giggling) Very well.

Unfortunately when John locked the door, the sound of the Lantean door alarm woke him. He was about to tell them to keep it down when he realized what they were doing. Now he had to cover his ears to try and drown out the sound of the two secret love birds.

With out warning, they heard the door activate. Fortunately John had locked it but because it was Rodney, it only took him a few seconds to get the door open. Teyla quickly reached for her top and John desperately tried to get his pants pulled up while still on his back.

-Rodney: Hey, what are you guys doing?

-Teyla: Col. Sheppard needed my help with ummm…

-John: Cramp… in my leg. Teyla was just helping me work a cramp out of my leg.

-Teyla: Yes! He had a cramp in his leg, which is why I'm down here… like this.

-Rodney: In the dark? How are you supposed to see what you're doing?

-John: Ronon's sleeping. We didn't want to disturb him.

-Ronon: Who can sleep with all this racket!

-Rodney: Sorry. I just came to change my shirt. One of the devices is leaking fluid. Of course it got all over me. Anyway, you should drink more water. Hydration is key to minimizing cramps

-John: I'll keep that in mind.

-Rodney: Good good. Oh and Teyla, really get in there with your hands.. Sometimes the muscle needs a good pounding.

-Teyla: (flustered) Yes, of course. I will take your advice under consideration.

-Rodney: Well I'm off. Ive got a ton of work to do.

-Ronon: I'll come with you. I don't need to be around while Teyla works out John's leg muscle.

-John: Oh I think I'm good…

-Ronon: Oh no. I think it's probably better to finish what you started. You want that pain to go away, don't you? I'll probably be gone for like… thirty minutes.

-John: You're probably right about that.

They waited for Ronon and Rodney to leave then John got up and locked the door again. He then turned his attention back to Teyla.

-John: Now where were we?

-Teyla: You do not think the suspect us do you?

-John: Oh no not at all.

Ronon and Rodney walked back to the engine room of the drilling platform where everyone seemed busy. Elizabeth looked up from some Ancient text she was reading, surprised to see Ronon.

-Elizabeth: I thought you were getting some rest.

-Ronon: Couldn't sleep.

-Rodney: Apparently John's having a problem with his leg.

-Elizabeth: Oh, perhaps I should go check on him.

-Ronon: Nope. Don't do that.

-Rodney: Ronon's right. Teyla's working up a sweat getting the cramp out of his leg. I'm sure she can handle him.

Ronon shook his head and rolled his eyes, still amazed that Rodney was clueless. Elizabeth looked from Ronon to Rodney, as if it had dawned on her what was really going on.

-Elizabeth: Okay, then I will leave her to it. Let's get to work Rodney.

~ Missing Scene and Post Episode S3E19 "Vengeance"

Michael could not believe he had the fortune of capturing Teyla again. He got into her mind easily, as she had not been expecting him. Somehow it seemed the human in him made it easier to penetrate her mind. He was convinced that they were linked.
Ironically it was this human link that got him ostracized from his hive. The others were accepted back, but diminished to mere minions in the Wraith hive. However in their eyes he was too far gone. And it was partially due to her. They could sense his feelings toward her. The Queen could sense what he had done with her. Sex with a human was unacceptable. He was now an unclean thing.
Now that he had her he couldn't resist one more touch, and the smell of her skin. The urge to feed was now completely gone. He had artificially eliminated the need when he was rejected by the Wraith. The urge to lay with her was strong but he knew the others would be coming. For now he would let the bug feed on her. The thought of creating a life with Teyla excited him. He could not wait to get started. He would allow the bug to feed on her, but not kill her. When she recovered, they would be together. The others however, would have to die.

Ronon was seething with rage, and there was no calming him down. Everything about Michael infuriated him, and now they had missed another opportunity to wipe the scourge from the galaxy. John walked into the private gym room to find Ronon pulverizing a punching bag with a set of Banto sticks.
-John: We'll catch him next time.
-Ronon: Catch him! We need to kill him! And there shouldn't be a next time!
-John: Look, I know you're pissed! But we are fighting a war against an enemy that no one has been able to defeat. We had to do something!
-Ronon: I get that! But it was a bad idea!
-John: So you've said!
-Ronon: But what really pisses me off is that when you knew it was going down, you should have ended it! The entire Taranan civilization is gone! We are responsible! Their blood is on our hands.
-Teyla: (walking in) Ronon, please calm down. He only did this as a means of self-preservation. But we will stop him.
Ronon turned around and looked at her as if she had lost her mind. He was trying to wrap his mind around what she was saying, but he couldn't believe what he was hearing.
-Ronon: What!? So you're defending him now
-Teyla: No. That is not what I meant..
-Ronon: After what he did to you!
-Teyla: No... of course not. It's just that he believes he is justified in what he is doing because of what we did to him...
-Ronon: So that gives him the right to kill all those people!? Does that give him the right to rape you!? Because that is what this monster we created has done!
-Teyla: (In an embarrassed whisper) Ronon...
-John: (shocked) What!? What the hell are you talking about!?
John had a look of complete anger and confusion as he glanced from Ronon to Teyla. He wanted an explanation, and neither one of them were giving him one. Ronon looked at Teyla with a degree of disbelief. John got a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. He tried to speak calmly but there was clearly agitation in his voice.
-John: Teyla, what is he talking about?
-Ronon: (shaking his head) How could you not tell him.
Ronon threw the sticks to the ground and walked out. He had had enough of this conversation. He did not mean to expose Teyla. He knew that they were secretly seeing each other, but he couldn't imagine that she would keep this from him. John was quiet as Ronon left. He needed a moment to get his head strait. Teyla was looking away from him, trying to catch her breath and calm down.
-John: When did this happen?
-Teyla: it does not matter anymore...
-John: I wanna know when this happened!
-Teyla: (quietly) The first time he kidnapped me... When he took me to the Wraith planet.
-John: Why didn't you tell me?
-Teyla: what difference would it have made?
-John: Lots! You let us bring Michael back to Atlantis. We worked with him, Teyla!
-Teyla: If you had not done so, they would have broadcast Atlantis' position throughout the galaxy to the other Wraith!
-John: I don't care!
-Teyla: That is why I said nothing to you. Your duty is to do what is best for the people of Atlantis! Not what is best for me!
John was stumped. For the first time it really sunk in to him why the brass insisted on the separation of love and duty. Had he known what Michael had done to her, he would have shot him on sight, way back then. And that would have been disastrous for Atlantis. Now looking into Teyla's eyes he could see that she was starting to have doubts about their relationship. And that scared him. He grabbed her by the arms in a pleading manner. It was a little harder than he expected, but his adrenalin was pumping. He relaxed his grip as he spoke to her.
-John: Look, I know I've said I would do anything for you...and I would. I would give up my life in a second for you... But I wouldn't put Atlantis at risk.
-Teyla: ( uncertain) John... I love you. And I want to believe that you would do the right thing. But I know it is not so easy. I was faced with a choice when we were just friends... And it was difficult.
-John: I know. But I'm asking you to trust me... I waited so long to be with you. I'm not about to let you walk away. Please. I love you. I just hate that he did this to you.

-Teyla: I know.
She released herself from his hold and started to walk away. But he pulled her back to him and right into his kiss.

~ Teyla's Birthday

It was a gorgeous warm day on the settlement. The Athosian council met earlier that night and agreed that this would be the final move for their people. They called the planet New Athose and the main village would be called Tegan. The council was revised to take in account that many culled world had merged with the Athosians. the council still consisted of the original 5; Teyla, Halling,, Kanan, Aryn, and Jessit. But now there would be two representatives for those who joined New Those, Orin, and Fallez. It was a proud moment for Teyla. She felt as if there were truly hope for the future, and for her people. John was allowed to sit in on the Council meeting as a representative of the Atlantis leadership.
After the meeting John went to tell stories to the children. Aryn, a middle aged woman who served on the council, pulled Teyla to the side.
-Aryn: This has been a good day for all Athosians.
-Teyla: That it has.
She caught John smiling at her as he was talking to the children, and it made her blush. Aryn noticed and smiled at her friend.
-Aryn: Many of us have noticed how close you have become to the people of Atlantis. Especially to John Sheppard.
-Teyla: (smiling) Yes. He means a great deal to me.
-Aryn: I thought that you should now, that there are those of us who would consider John Sheppard an acceptable partner for an Athosian Princess. He is a descendant of the Ancestors, and has their blood in his veins.
-Teyla: (slightly embarrassed) Aryn, we have not used terms such as princess for many decades. And, besides, I am not sure what my future holds.
-Aryn: Well, I do hope that your priority is still here with your people. We need your leadership.
-Teyla: My priority is always with my people.
-Aryn: Teyla, tomorrow we celebrate your life. You've been in this world for thirty years. You may not see yourself as a princess, but to many of us, the old traditions will never die. You are a princess of Athose. It is time for you to make some decisions. Wouldn't you agree?
She walked away leaving Teyla to ponder what she had said. It was a great deal to think about. She was not ready or willing to leave Atlantis. And she knew John wasn't either. But her people did need her. It was time to rebuild their lives.

It was nearing midnight so John and Teyla retired to her home. A traditional birthday bath had been drawn for her. The water was steaming hot and emitted a lovely aroma that smelled like a cross between ginger and lavender. Candles were lit all around and the gift of new fur and linen bedding was laid out for Teyla.
-John: wow, this is nice.
-Teyla: Yes. Aryn and the other women have prepared it for me. I shall bath before midnight, and come out of the water clean and refreshed for the next year of my life.
-John: Am I allowed to be here?
-Teyla: Yes, of course.
Before they were seeing each other, it never concerned her what people thought when her team mates stayed in her home. But now she wondered if they all knew. John however couldn't care less. He had waited all day to be lone with her.
-John: I umm... I got you something. I'm not good at presents and stuff but...
-Teyla: John, you did not have to...
-John: Well it's kind of an Earth tradition to give gifts when it's someone's birthday. Anyway...here you go.
Teyla opened the small box and inside was a beautiful metal bracelet. It was two shiny metals meshed together, making unique swirling patterns. On the inside was an engraving that said 'Sheyla Forever'. Teyla was in awe of how beautiful it was.
-Teyla: John... This is absolutely beautiful...
-John: I know how much you like jewelry, even though you don't get to wear it very often...
-Teyla: I've never seen anything like it. Where did you get this?
-John: It's made of silver, that comes from Earth and
-Teyla: (breath taken) and Delron... From Athose. I recognize it now. What is 'Sheyla'?
-John: (nervously) It's Shepard and Teyla... I figured if anyone saw it... Well, only you and I would know...
-Teyla: It's perfect. Thank you.
-John: Well I'm glad you like it. (Being cheeky) Now that its time for bed, there's something else I'd really like to give you...
He barely got the words out before she leaped into his arms. she was more than ready to receive the rest of her gift, and John was ready to give it to her. He helped her out of her clothes and Without a word he helped her into her bath. The heat of the water and the sweet aroma calmed her mind and body and drew her to a state of complete tranquility.
-Teyla: Join me.
-John: Are you sure that's okay. I don't want to mess up your tradition...
-Teyla: if you do not wish to...
-John: Oh I want to. I'll be right in.
John quickly rid himself of his clothing and climbed into he bath behind her. The water was hotter than he expected and he let out several quick breaths as he lowered his body in. Teyla couldn't help but giggle as he settled down and pulled her to him. She took a soft cloth and bathed herself. This was one of the most sensual situations he'd ever been in, but he didn't want to spoil it for her. This bath was meant to be a milestone in her life. She handed him the cloth and he carefully washed her back. When he finished he kissed her shoulder coaxing a shy smile on her face.
-Teyla: It is done.
-John: Let me help you out.
John got out of the bath and wrapped a towel around his waist. He then got another towel and helped Teyla out. He helped her to dry off a little before pulling her to him. Their lips met, as their arms wrapped around each other's body. John gave her a night she would remember.

As they laid in bed he held her in his arms. There was a lot he wanted to say, but finding the words was hard. She could tell that he was thinking, and she was curious to know what was on his mind. She leaned across his chest and kissed him on the chin.
-Teyla: What is on your mind John?
-John: I was thinking... There really is something else I want to give you, but I know that now is not the time. I'm hoping, one day soon...
-Teyla: it's okay, John.
-John: I just want you to know that I'm serious... About us. And I know... That I could be very happy here... I could be happy anywhere if I'm with you.
The matching ring, made of the same two metals would have to wait for now. One day soon he hoped that he could end his military commitment and be granted permission to live in the Pegasus. Then, he could give her the ring.

Rodney and Ronon joined them on New Athose the next morning. The birthday celebration was very festive, and John appreciated that the Athosians could throw a great party. Ronon was having a great time, glad to finally take his mind off of Michael. He was glad to see Teyla happy. He couldn't help but notice that John never left her side. Halling stood up and said some kind words about Teyla, and then everyone got quiet in anticipation of Teyla making a speech. She smiled and took a nervous deep breath before beginning.
-Teyla: My fellow Athosians... My family, thank you for... All of this. It means so much to me to be here with you. Last night a dear friend reminded me of who I am. I am Teyla Emmagan, Daughter of Torren and Princess Tegan, the greatest gifted one our people have known. I know that when she was lost many turned to me. And much has changed since then, but know that I still respect the old traditions? I now see that a day will come when we no longer live in fear of the Wraith. Know that the reason why I remain in Atlantis is for all of us... for our future. I know that the time for me to make certain decisions is upon me. I hope that you will all trust me to do what is right for all of us. I love you all.
The crowd erupted in cheers, and John understood that this was more than just a birthday party. This was a right of passage of sorts for Teyla. He was very proud of her, not fully understanding what was to come for her future.
Kanan also watched and listened carefully to Teyla's speech. He saw things differently. He loved Teyla and he believed that he should be by her side. Not John. He knew that many Athosians looked up to John and thought hat his gift, the Ancestral lineage, was equally if not more valuable than their own gift. But John was taking Teyla away from the Athosians, and that was a huge negative to them. Kanan was not a fighter and he was a reluctant leader at best, but he saw something in John. He could see that John loved Teyla. But he also knew John would not leave his mission to join the Athosians. And as long as there was a fight to be had, he would keep Teyla from her people. Kanan found an opportunity to speak with Halling again. He truly hoped Halling could say something to Teyla before she left for Atlantis.
-Kanan: You know that I am right about this. She leaves for weeks at a time now. Sometimes over a month will go by before she comes home.
-Halling: That is why she has changed the role of the council. We are not just her Council anymore. We are the council for the people.
-Kanan: so you are willing to risk losing her forever to Atlantis?
-Halling: To Atlantis, or to John Sheppard? If she loves him, as it appears she does, it is you who have lost her. You should have stepped up a long time ago.
-Kanan: if I have lost her, then we all have. One day John Sheppard and Atlantis will take her away forever. I know that she would be willing to come back to me... To all of us, but someone has to give her the council that she needs to make the right decisions. And that, my friend, is your job as the senior Council advisor. If we lose her, it will not only be my fault, it will fall on you as well.

Halling considered what Kanan had to say. He thought it would not hurt to have a brief conversation with Teyla. He caught up with her as she was preparing to leave.
-Halling: we all appreciate what you said at the feast.
-Teyla: I meant everything I said.
-Halling: I know you did. I must ask you, Teyla. I too believe that we may actually see the end to this war with the Wraith. But what shall we do if this war goes on for another five or ten years? Shall we be without our leader?
-Teyla: I will always come home.
-Halling: Are you certain about that? In your absence would it not be best to have someone here to speak on your behalf. The partner you chose would need to be as committed to Athose as you are. Would you agree?
-Teyla: (quietly taking a deep breath) Yes. I would have to agree.

~ Post Episode S4E2 " Life Line" ~

Atlantis was safe on a new planet. But Elizabeth was gone now. Things were never going to be the same. They had all just received word that Col. Samantha Carter would be replacing her, and everyone was feeling a bit of uncertainty.
The timing of this latest incident could not have been worse for Teyla. Her conversations with Aryn and Halling a few weeks earlier were coming back to haunt her. It was one thing to put her life on the line fighting the Wraith, but in this case she was nearly forced to abandon her people. It would have been better for her to risk her life with John and the others. If they were to die, they would do so together. But instead John had asked her to stay behind. To go with the Atlantis expedition to a new planet and start a new life alone...away from her people... and without John. She would never forgive herself if she were forced to abandon her people.
Now more than ever she wished Elizabeth were here. Even though she knew nothing of her relationship with John, Elizabeth was always someone she could talk to about her choice to stay on Atlantis.

Teyla was not the only one struggling with losing Elizabeth. John had forgiven Rodney for activating Elizabeth's Nantes, but Rodney struggled to understand John's position. John went to see Rodney, to tell him he the right thing.
-John: Look, I thought it was a bad decision at the time, but if you hadn't done it, we never would have infiltrated the replicator home world.
-Rodney: (annoyed) Yeah, trust me I get why you thought it was a bad idea.
-John: Okay, then why are you so pissed.
-Rodney: Because we still lost Elizabeth!
-John: Look, I'm as upset about it as anyone.
-Rodney: Oh really!
-John: Yes really!
-Rodney: Well if it had been Teyla instead of Elizabeth...
-John: What the h#** is that supposed to mean!
-Rodney: You could have come up with something... Some way to save her... You always do when it comes to Teyla. And I'm glad you've been able to save her. But we just left Elizabeth there. You know they won't keep her alive! And it's my fault, because I activated the Nantes! She's dead because of you and me.

John had no way of offering comfort to Rodney. Especially when he needed comforting himself. He hated to admit it but he agreed with Rodney. From the beginning he was willing to just accept Elizabeth's death from the brain injury. Then he didn't get her off the replicator planet. He would never have left Teyla. He would have died trying to get to her. Teyla could see a great deal of pain on John's face. She knew that in this moment he needed her. She sat on her bed wearing a thin night gown.
-Teyla: Are you all right, John?
-John: No... I keep going over everything in my mind. If I would have done something different...
-Teyla: It is not your fault.
-John: (looking away) yeah... Well... Doesn't feel that way.
She put her arms around him and tried to offer some comfort, but he was still riddled with guilt. He needed her to comfort him now, to ease his burden, and she knew what to do.

~ Pre Episode and Post Episode S4E3 "Reunion" ~

The first week after Atlantis arrived at its new home planet had been nice for John and Teyla. He leaned on her for support while he temporarily ran things. But then she took a short visit to New Athose and things seemed to change somehow. He felt as if she were keeping something from him. He noticed quickly that she did not come to his room at night even though he asked her to, and she stopped inviting him to hers.
-John: So are we on for dinner tonight.
-Teyla: (smiling) Of course.
-John: Then I was thinking you could stay with me in my quarters tonight... We could get some sparing in tomorrow morning. Or we could just sleep in...
-Teyla: (suddenly evasive) Not tonight. I need to get some rest. I'm going with Ronon tomorrow and...
He tried to put his arms around her, but she pulled away from him. Now he knew something was wrong.
-John: Okay, you mind telling me what the h*** is going on here? Did I do something to piss you off?
-Teyla: John...
-John: Look, I'm just sayin, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to know when someone is blowin' you off. Now I wanna know, Did I do something wrong?
-Teyla: (sigh) No John. You didn't do anything wrong.
-John: Then tell me what's going on... Please. I don't feel right about what's happening between us.
-Teyla: John... I don't know what to say. I have been doing a lot of thinking, about us, and the responsibilities we have...
-John: I don't like the sound of this.
-Teyla: I love you, but I'm afraid I may not have been acting in the best interest of my people by starting a relationship with you.
-John: What? You gotta be kidding me!
-Teyla: John, please... I am committed to being by your side in this battle, but the time may come when I have to go back to my people. I have to do what's best for them first and foremost!
-John: That's what you are doing here with me. We are in this together.
-Teyla: This war may linger on for longer than I can stay away. And now not only do we have to deal with the Wraith, but Michael and the possibility of Replicators...
-John: Right now the replicators are kickin' the Wraiths butt. This war might be over in a few short years.
-Teyla: I may not have that long John. I have obligations and responsibilities...
-John: Are you leaving?
-Teyla: No. I will stay as long as I can. But until you are in a position to commit to me and my people... I have to let you go.
-John: (shocked) So you're breaking up with me?
-Teyla: Yes.
-John: (Clearly pissed off) Even though I love you and you love me.
-Teyla: Yes... For now I think that. But I might not be able to wait for you John. It's best if we just stay friends until the time comes.
-John: Okay, so what if I just asked you right now to marry me. Would that satisfy this ridiculous notion that that's the only way we can be committed to your people?!
-Teyla: (clearly offended) Is this all so trivial to you? My obligations to my people…my desire to stay by your side. Does that matter to you at all. Or is your only concern that we continue to have sex?
Now John was offended. He new that he was wrong for what he said, but how could she think he only wanted sex. This conversation was going very badly and he was ready for it to be over. He tried to calm his voice to defuse the heat of the conversation.
-John: I don't think your obligations are trivial. I was upset, and I shouldn't have said that. I just don't think we should let anything stop us from being together. And you know it's not about sex. At least I thought you knew how much I love you.
-Teyla: John... Please give me some time to figure out what to do.
-John: Fine. We can take a step back if that's what you need. Just promise me that you won't leave Atlantis. I need you here.
-Teyla: I promise. I will stay as long as I can. I know I can do more for my people in this war if I am by your side.
-John: Okay.
He couldn't say anything else. He got a lump in his throat from the massive heart break she had just delivered. All he could do was leave and try to shake it off. It was killing him inside.

* Post Episode

Things seemed to be difficult for John right now. He still missed Carson, he felt guilty for not saving Elizabeth, there was still tension between him and Rodney, Teyla dumped him, and Ronon almost left him. He pretty much thought things sucked. He went to see Teyla at her quarters, and was surprised to see her packing a bag.
-Teyla: John, come in. How are you doing?
-John: Well I've been better. Seems like all my friends are trying to ditch me for some reason.
-Teyla: That is not true. It has just been a difficult time for all of us. It will pass.
-John: I hope your right. It'd be nice to get back to having fun and shooting the bad guys.
-Teyla: We just did that two days ago.
-John: It's a lot less fun when the bad guys are Ronon's old buddies
-Teyla: That is true.
-John: Where are you off to?
-Teyla: I am taking Ronon to New Athose.
-John: I could tag along if you want the company.
-Teyla: I always enjoy your company John, but it is too soon for me.
-John: Oh... Right.
-Teyla: Perhaps next time?
-John: Sure. Tell the kids I said hi. And I'll be back to visit soon.
-Teyla: I will.
-John: I'll miss you while you're gone.
-Teyla: I will be back in two days.
-John: Yeah but still...
-Teyla: I will miss you too.

*
Kanan was happy to see that once again, Teyla did not bring John with her. This time she did bring Ronon, but he did not demand her affection the way John did. During her last couple of visits alone, Kanan felt as if he were breaking through to her. They had actually rekindled their friendship, and he was poised to begin courting her. Ronon could tell that the young man had his eye on Teyla. He knew that things had taken a bad turn for her and John, but he could tell she still loved him.

~Pre Episode and Missing Scene S4E4 " Doppleganger" ~

Teyla had been right about things going back to normal. Since she and Ronon had returned from New Athose all of their friendships seemed smooth again. In fact every morning they had breakfast together, and dinner every evening.

*27:25

It seemed unfair to John that just when things were getting back to normal, tragedy would strike. He couldn't understand why he had to touch that stupid crystal. Now Kate was dead, and it was all his fault. He couldn't help but think about Teyla. She and Kate were very close friends. And over the past few months, she had lost so many friends. He wanted to see her, comfort her, and be there for her. He still loved her. He decided to take a chance and find her. He went to the door, and to his surprise she was there. His heart skipped a beat in his chest.
-John: I was just about to go see you. But I wasn't sure if you wanted to see me.
That was all he could say. She reached out and put her arms around him. Now his heart was pounding. He wasn't sure what to do. If he held her he might never let her go. But he had to hold her. He needed her to know that he loved her. He leaned down to kiss her fully expecting her to stop him, but she didn't. The door closed behind them, and he walked her over to the small bed. They spent the rest of the day there. For a little while they could be more than friends.
The day went by much too soon. The sun began to go down and John knew their time was coming to an end. He hoped that they could stay together the whole night, but a call on the radio from Sam put an end to the romance. It seemed that they found the entity that killed Kate, and it was in Rodney. John got up and started to get dressed.
-John: I have to go. They found it in Rodney.
-Teyla: I'm going with you.
-John: I need you to go get Ronon. If this goes badly... I don't want Rodney to be alone. We should be there for him.
-Teyla: Of course.
-John: Teyla...
-Teyla: Yes John?
-John: I want to see you tonight.
-Teyla: John, we can't keep doing this...
-John: I know, but I need you.
-Teyla: This has been wonderful, but...
-John: I know.

A few days later Teyla made another trip to New Athose. This time she went alone. John hoped that whatever was going on with her and her people would smooth over soon. He was certain that she was still in love with him. And after their last time together a couple of days earlier, he was determined to win her back.
But it did not seem to go that way. On New Athose, Kanan prepared a special dinner for Teyla. They reminisced about the past, laughing about the good times and lamented over the bad ones. Then they talked about the future of their people, and their own personal future. He had no intention of letting the night come to an end.
-Teyla: it is late. I need to go.
-Kanan: Teyla, I was hoping you would stay.
-Teyla: I do not think that would be wise.
-Kanan: I know you are unsure about what choice you should make. But I know what is right. Our future was decided for us before we were even born. We are connected, and I have felt it my whole life. I have loved you my whole life. Stay with me. Let me show you. Let us come together as a man and woman.
Teyla knew he was genuine and the decision weighed heavy on her heart. To stay with Kanan would mean an end to the possibility of her and John. But she knew she owed it to her people to try.
-Teyla: I will stay.

~Pre Episode and Post Episode S4E7 "Missing"

1:10
The next few weeks proved to be quite adventurous. They had little to no trouble from the Wraith or the replicators. However John was kidnapped by travelers, and then there was a deadly outbreak on the base. When they weren't on missions the team would spend time together. Teyla wanted to tell her team about Kanan, but she never seemed to find the right time. She did get the opportunity to visit New Athose a couple of times between missions. Each time she went alone, and didn't stay more than a night.
This day Teyla took Jennifer Keller along. It was time for the doctor to give the children their check ups, then afterwards they would have a Tandoori Feast. John wanted to ask to go along but he knew better. Things were good between him and Teyla. Their friendship was stronger than ever. He still loved her and wanted to be with her, but it seemed that he would have to settle for friendship.
He watched as the to women went through the gate. He had only been joking about Teyla having a date. But she did look amazing. Surely she would have told him if she were seeing someone. He figured she was just dressed up for the Feast. He had no idea what was really going on.

*
Post Episode

Teyla was shocked by Jennifer's revelation of her pregnancy. Her mind was racing with fear and anger. She never planned to get pregnant, at least not until she and Kanan were married.. Her people would be so happy, but they were all gone. It dawned on her that she and her baby might be the last of the Athosians. Almost a thousand people gone without a trace. She had so much hope for their future and now, it seemed hopeless.
John and Ronon were very distressed over the news of the Athosians. They were very fond of the people and considered them like family. Now John felt badly that he hadn't been to see them in 3 months. He was determined to help Teyla find them.

S4E8-10

The next couple of months were quite stressful. Between the missing Athosians and the issues with the Replicators, all the teams were quite busy. The replicators were now decimating entire human planets and they were working with Todd to stop them. On top of everything, they were saddened over the confirmation that Elizabeth was dead.

~Missing Scene S4E11" Be All My Sins Remembered"

*
John needed a minute to process what had just happened. He was completely shocked still... Shocked and pissed off for so many reasons. He replayed it over and over in his mind, trying to come to grips with the news that she was pregnant. Teyla was having another man's baby.
~Teyla: I must go see Dr. Keller.
~John: Why is that?
~Teyla: I was stunned...
~John: We get stunned all the time. Shake it off.
~Teyla: Circumstances are different.
~John: Why is that?
~Teyla: (pause) I am carrying a child.
~John: (whispering) You're what?
He walked towards her realizing that this was a conversation that they needed to have in private. His heart was racing as he anticipated that she was about to tell him that he was going to be a father.
~Teyla: I am pregnant John.
~John: ( looking at Ronon) Is this a joke?
~Ronon: Don't look at me.
He looked up at Ronon who was clearly sticking around for this conversation. He wasn't sure what to say, since they hadn't even told anyone they were seeing each other. And it had been a while since they last got together. He had a million questions and didn't know where to begin. He figured he would just throw it out there and Ronon would find out about the two of them, but he had not expected her response.
~Teyla: It just happened...
~John: I didn't know you were seeing anyone.
~Teyla: It is no one from Atlantis.
He couldn't believe she just said it was no one from Atlantis. Was she actually saying she had been with someone else? Even Ronon looked confused. He had stuck around to congratulate the two of them, but now it was just awkward. John had to get to the bottom of this.
~John: How far along are you?
~Teyla: About three months.
~John: Three...
And just like that he knew. It all made sense. Her breaking things off with him... Not letting him go with her to New Athose... They lost Kate almost four months ago... This was not Johns baby. She had been seeing someone else the whole time. He felt as if his heart had been ripped from his chest, and his guts dropped to the floor. And now she told him like this. Not even in private so he could say what he really wanted to say. He tried to gather his thoughts and hold back his anger.
~John: How long have you known?
~Teyla: Just under two.
He couldn't believe that she had known for almost two months and they were going on missions... She was stunned. What was she thinking? He managed to stay in control of his temper, but there was a lot of hurt in his voice. It was all too much. All he could do was walk away.
Sam had asked him if he knew who the father was, but he had no idea. He thought that Teyla loved him. He never thought that she was looking for someone else. He didn't know and he didn't care.

*
Teyla was beside herself with grief. The last thing she wanted was to be kicked of the team. Now she would be stuck on the base while the replicators terrorized the galaxy and her people were still missing.
Now Teyla was alone and John was with... her... Larrin. Sadly the woman was just as pretty as she had imagined. In light of everything, Teyla had no doubt John would want to see this woman. As she reached down and felt the tiny baby bump, she knew she had no right to be jealous. And John had every right to move on.
~Teyla: I tried to tell you!
~John: You didn't try hard enough!
His words played over and over in her mind. He was right. She had avoided telling him, because she was afraid.

~ Post Episode S4E12 "Spoils of War"

After avoiding each other for several days, Teyla and John finally had a chance to work things out. Once again she had saved his life, and he saved hers. But this time it was not only her life that had been at risk. If John had not killed the Wraith queen in time, she feared what would have happened to her child. Now standing on the balcony in each others arms. They felt a closeness like they had not felt in some time.
For the first time since learning of Teyla's pregnancy, John didn't care who the baby's father was. He would be there for her no matter what. He would be there for her son, no matter what. He was too choked up to get the words out, but with his arms around her, he hoped she knew what he wanted to say. He held her tight. For as long as she needed him, he would hold her.

~ Post Episode S4E13 "Quarantine"

John walked down the hallway from his quarters to Teyla's. He planned to meet Rodney for beers later, but first he wanted to check on her. He couldn't stop thinking about earlier when they were locked in the lab together. Feeling the baby kick was pretty incredible. In fact it had been his motivation to climb the tower, and turn off the alert beacon. Even he was astonished at he lengths he would go to in order to protect her and her son. He buzzed her door and she called out for him to enter. He walked in sheepishly, letting the door close behind him. He smiled when he saw her relaxing peacefully on a chase lounge chair.
-John: Hey... I just thought I'd check in and see how you two are doing?
-Teyla: (smiling) the baby and I are perfectly fine. Thank you. But I am not the one who climbed the tower. John... What you did...
-John: I know it was a little reckless...
-Teyla: It was incredibly brave.
-John: Well, you know I'd do anything for you... And the people here.
-Teyla: I know. And I want to thank you for what you said earlier about my son always having a family here. You have no idea what that means to me.
-John: Well I meant every word. I will always be here for you and for him.
-Teyla: (with a soft smile) I know.
-John: You still look like something's on your mind.
-Teyla: I have been thinking about what you said concerning my future on the team.
-John: Well I meant it. I want you back. I need you on my team, fighting by my side.
-Teyla: That means a great deal to me... (Grabbing. Her belly) Oh, there he goes again!
-John: He's kicking again?
-Teyla: Yes.
-John: (Reaching out his hand) may I?
Teyla took his hand and placed it on her abdomen. In that moment he couldn't help but think about how things could have been different for them. They sat close together marveling at the miracle inside her. John had one arm around her shoulders, and she was comfortably nestled in his arm. It was good to see her smiling and happy. Even after the baby settled down, they stayed together enjoying each others company. She looked up at him, and he couldn't imagine ever feeling closer to anyone. But he knew he needed to take a step back, because if he didn't, he was going to kiss her. As if on cue, the baby gave Teyla a big kick.
-John: Wow... I think he's tired of sitting around.
-Teyla: Or perhaps he's hungry. I know I am.
-John: Why don't we head down to the mess hall and get some dinner?
-Teyla: That would be lovely.

Missing Scene S4E18 'Kindred'

Michael's plan was in full effect and no one was aware yet of what he was doing. He was determined to see the downfall of both the Wraith and the humans for what they had done to him. But his revenge would not be complete without her. Teyla. He would never admit it but she had hurt him so very deeply. And yet he still wanted her. He would link with her, trick her into joining him, and then give her the ultimatum. She could join him and her people as a hybrid, or die. Either way, Atlantis old not have her. And once he was with him, she old learn to love him.
Disguising himself as Kanan had worked perfectly. Ono he was able to reach Teyla's mind. It was quite a shock to him to find that she was pregnant. He had thought often about impregnating her himself, and creating a true hybrid. But without knowing the results of what the two of them would create, perhaps this was best. And if the father was Kanan, or better yet one of the Atlantis members with the Ancient gene. His mind was spinning. To create hybrids with the ancient and Wraith gene would be incredible. Either way this child could be the key to creating a superior race and dominating the galaxy.

*Pre episode S4E20 ' The Last Man'

John was tormented and unable to sleep. He should have been with her. He should have had her back. Had he not promised... vowed that he would do anything for her and for her baby. And now they were gone. He cursed out loud as he wrestled in the small bed. It was the middle of the night, yet sleep was the last thing he wanted. He wanted to be out there looking for her, even though he had no idea where to look.
Again his thoughts reverted back to regret. If he had been with her, instead of dealing with Todd. He remembered standing there in disbelief as Lorne tried to explain his actions.
-Lorne: We were set up. The whole thing was a trap.
-Sam: Do we have any idea who took her?
-Ronon: Could this be Michael?
-Sam: We suspect he is behind everything that's been going on, but why would he target Teyla?
-Ronon: He's obsessed with her.

John turned abruptly, and went up the stairs.

-Sam: John, where are you going?
-John: I'm going to find her!
-Sam: We have no idea where she is...
-John: I know! But Todd might be able to find out. We were going to deal with him anyway.
-Sam: John...
-John: He wants the damn drug and I want Teyla back.
-Sam: Okay.

Lorne had met him in the locker room. His head still hung low and he could barely look John in the eye. John just glared at him without a word. He was too angry at the moment to address the young man.
-Lorne: Sir, I'm sorry. When the dart showed up I called out... But I should have Pulled her out of the way. I was afraid if I pulled her to the ground and hurt the baby... I know it's no excuse. I messed up.
John stood up abruptly and grabbed Lorne by the vest. It took him a moment to control himself. He looked the marine in the eye, and saw the regret.
-John: I trusted you to look after her!
-Lorne: I know, Sir. And I promise I'm going to help you find her. Whatever it takes. My team and I will go out every day until we bring her home.
That was as good and sincere an apology as John could expect. He released Lorne from his grip and left him there to lament.

. He tried to take some comfort in the fact that they had found Carson... Or his clone at least. Now Carson was in stasis and still there was no sign of Teyla. Lorne had kept his word. Every day they went in search of her, even though it seemed hopeless most times. Tomorrow they would go out again. A Geni contact, with possible information. He knew it was a long shot, but he didn't care. He was going to follow any lead until she came home.

Post Episode S5E1 Search and Rescue

John sat beside Teyla in her quarters. She was nestled calmly in his arms. A gentle night breeze flowed through the window, as several candles flicked, their light dancing around the walls. Teyla hummed softly, and rocked gently against him. He looked down to see Torren John calmly nursing at her breast. He reached across with his free hand and carefully stroked the baby's cheek as his tiny lips and cheeks worked diligently for nourishment. Teyla rested her head against his chest, as John closed his eyes and pressed his lips to the top of her head.
He began to open his eyes again, but it wasn't easy to do. His eyes felt heavy, and for some reason the room was brighter than it was just a minute ago. It occurred to him that Teyla was no longer in his arms, but he could still hear the beautiful humming. He turned his head in the direction of the humm, and managed to get one eye open. There she was on the medical bed next to him, and it was then that he realized he was still in the infirmary.
Now that his eyes had adjusted to the light he opened them, and saw that Teyla was nursing her baby, just like in his dream. He watched for a moment, still not truly believing that they were rescued. he tried to sit up, but let out a soft grunt from pain.
-Teyla: John, you are awake.
-John: Yea... I think the drugs are wearing off.
-Teyla: Jennifer says the surgery went well.
-John: Good. I'll be back on my feet before you know it. I'm surprised you wanted me back in your medical room. I thought you'd want some private time with your son.
It occurred to Teyla that her breast was exposed and perhaps John was not comfortable. She started to reach for a blanket, to conceal the feeding baby.
-Teyla: Oh, I'm sorry. I almost forgot… I'm still getting used to all this.
-John: No, you're perfectly fine. I just meant that... I sometimes snore when I sleep.
-Teyla: (smiling) You have been sleeping peacefully. Besides, I wanted to keep an eye on you... After everything you did for me… and my son.
-John: Well, I'd do it again in a heartbeat.
He laid back again, still watching her and Torren, as she began to hum again. He was just about to close his eyes when Jennifer walked in. She went to him and began checking his vitals.
-Jennifer: Glad to see you're awake Colonel. Everything looks good. (Turning to Teyla) It looks like Torren John is doing well with nursing.
-Teyla: Yes, he is. I know I had only planned to do this for 3 weeks, but it seems so natural and easy.
-Jennifer: Well, you can do it for as long as you want. I have the formula for him whenever you are ready.
-Teyla: Thank you. I believe 3 weeks is sufficient. We believe the first nutrients from the mother are the most vital to a new born.
-Jennifer: Well there is actually some medical truth to that. I thought you should know we began treating Kanan and the others. I'll let you know how they progress.

John had almost forgotten about Kanan. Now it seemed as if his dream was nothing more than a fantasy. She had the man she wanted back... the father of her child. It gave him an ache in the pit of his stomach. At least he could be comforted by the news that Teyla was only nursing for a short time. In his mind that meant she would be back on the team soon. Things would be as they once were. She would be by his side.

*
Michael made his way to one of the secret bases, using the puddle jumper. He had given himself Becket's ATA gene therapy, but it had not taken since he did not posses the recessive gene to boost it. However his new discovery, had enabled him to fly the jumper. And now, Thanks to the DNA samples obtained from Teyla's unborn child, a whole host of new possibilities had opened up for him. The child was special, and he would have him. He would have his mother as well.

* Post Episode S5E4 'Daedalus Variations'

It had been a bazaar experience, being on the AU Daedalus, and traveling through the Alternate Universes. Once again Rodney had gotten them out of a very bad situation, getting himself shot in the process. It was nice of Teyla to bring Torren to the infirmary and let Rodney hold him. It was late, and John knew that it was close to Torren's bed time, he figured he'd make his escape. Teyla didn't stay much longer. After a few minutes she scooped the baby up from Rodney's arms and bid him good night.
To her surprise John was just outside of the infirmary pacing. He had not expected her to leave so quickly, since she had not even been there 5 minutes.
-Teyla: John, what are you still doing here?
-John: I umm... I forgot to tell Rodney something, but... It can wait.
-Teyla: Oh...
Torren curled up as if he were trying to fall asleep. She bundled him up and rocked him gently.
-John: Looks like it's someone's bedtime.
-Teyla: Yes, it is.
-John: I can walk you back to your quarters...
-Teyla: No, I think I'll walk him around the city for a while. (thinking of an excuse) if I put him down before he is fully asleep, he will only wake up crying.
-John: Sounds like he prefers to sleep in your arms. I can certainly understand that.
-Teyla: (raising an eyebrow and giving him a slight smile) Well it can be tiring.
-John: Well, how about I join you on your walk and we can take turns holding him.
-Teyla: We would like that.

It was nice to have John's company. Things had been very tense with Kanan staying in the city. He wasn't adjusting long term. He was a skilled farmer and a leader amongst their people, but felt useless on Atlantis. Mr. Woolsey had suggested he help out in the botany lab, but Everyone was so intellectually advanced that he was uncomfortable. He was more concerned with the day to day affairs on New Athose and his own thriving crop. It seemed more and more often they were arguing about returning to their people. He had seemed very supportive of her returning to the team, but that was before he realized he would be giving up the life that he loved.
After about an hour walking, they began to make their way to Teyla's quarters. Torren had fallen fast asleep in Johns arms, and they hoped to keep it that way. When they got to the door Teyla attempted to take the child from John, but his tiny fist clutched tightly to John's shirt. They both giggled as the baby seemed to cling harder to John in his sleep.
-John: Am I going to have to stay like this?
-Teyla: (smiling) No, however, you may have to be the one to lay him in his cradle.
-John: I can handle that.
Without warning, the door came open. Kanan stood on the inside looking out with a worried look on his face. And he didn't look at all happy to see John cuddling his son.
-Kanan: Where have you been? It is well past the time for Torren to be in bed. I thought you would be here an hour ago.
-Teyla: Torren took longer to fall asleep than I expected. John was just...
-Kanan: I see! I will take him.
He took Torren from John, inadvertently pulling Johns shirt, as the baby still held it. The baby woke and began to cry. Kanan held him close and rocked him.
-Teyla: I can put him back to sleep...
-Kanan: I shall take care of him. You have company, and I do not wish to keep you from your friend.
He closed the door behind him, leaving Teyla flushed and embarrassed. She held her head up, and tried to hide it, but John knew her too well. They slowly walked away, having no real destination.
-John: everything ok?
-Teyla: It is just taking Kanan some time to adjust.
-John: He'll get the swing of things. You did... So did Ronon.
-Teyla: It was not so easy for us either, but in our cases, this was ultimately what we wanted. I'm afraid that Kanan wants something different.
-John: Well he wants you, doesn't he? Seems like a small sacrifice to me.
-Teyla: I don't think it's a small thing, to give up the life he knows...
-John: I'd give my life for you and Torren in a heartbeat.
John realized that he had overstepped, but only slightly regretted it. Teyla had made her choice, and now they both had to live with it. She doubted that he knew just how deeply his words cut. But he knew, because they cut him too.

* During S5E7 'Whispers'

It was a hard decision for Kanan, but it had to be done. He was one of the best farmers amongst their people, and they were missing his expertise and aid. And he missed the fresh air and the trees... He missed hard work and being needed by his people. He missed his home. He hoped that being back on New Athose would prompt Teyla to spend more time home with her people. He would still visit Atlantis, splitting his time between the two places, but he would not make a home in the city.
To his dismay Teyla was able to work out a childcare schedule with half a dozen Atlantis member and her team members. This meant that Torren would be staying on Atlantis with her. She was grateful for the help, and all it would cost her were some sparring lessons, and some goods from New Athose. Still it would be difficult for both of them to be away from Torren, and that meant she would be back with her people far more often.
The couple worked diligently to expand Kanan's tent. Earlier, Holland brought an infant bed for the baby, that had been carved by him and Jinto. It was now getting late and Teyla noticed that Kanan constructed a privacy screen to separate their bed from the rest of the tent.
-Teyla: Do you think that will be necessary?
-Kanan: Of course. Torren is 3 months old. I think it is time for us to join together again. I have missed you. (walking over to her and putting his arms around her from behind) I still remember the last time we came together as a man and woman, as betrothed lovers. It was my thoughts and memories of our love that got me through the darkest times with Michael.
-Teyla: Kanan, I do not know if I am ready...
-Kanan: (Kissing her neck) You are physically remarkable, beautiful beyond compare... And I want you.

-Teyla: I just need a little more time.

*During S5E9 'Tracker'

John had just left Rodney and was now heading for Teyla's quarters. With Ronon and Rodney both going off world, and Kanan back on New Athose, he looked forward to spending some time with Teyla and Torren. He had planned a walk and a picnic on one of the piers. Luckily the weather was perfect.
He buzzed her door and it opened for him. He smiled when he saw Teyla on the floor with Playing with Torren, who was on his back giggling. They looked so happy on the Athosian fur rug, windows wide open letting in the fresh ocean air.
-Teyla: Come in John. You are early.
-John: Looks like I'm right on time. If You don't mind...
-Teyla: I do not mind at all. Please join us.
-John: ( making himself comfy on the rug, and tugging at Torren's feet) Hey buddy, how are ya?
-Teyla: (smiling) See how he lights up when he is with you?
-John: That's because he likes his Uncle John.
It was in moments like this that John could almost forget that Kanan existed. She looked so much happier than she did a few weeks ago. She seemed to be relaxed and settled in now to her roll as mom and team member. He had hoped that Kanan's departure would mean an end to the relationship as well. But Teyla did not speak about it. He figured that with time he would prove to her that he was the one for her and Torren. He would be patient, because she was worth it.
-Teyla: Can you keep an eye on him while I prepare his bag?
-John: Of course.
John rolled on his back and pulled Torren up on his chest. He marveled at the baby as he pulled his head up. Torren's large brown eyes and drooling smile, filled him with a sense of warmth and happiness that he had never felt before. Teyla came back in the room and was overwhelmed at the sight of John and Torren. A lump caught in her throat, and tears stung at her eyes, as she for a brief moment thought of what might have been. John looked up and saw her in the doorway.
-John: Ready to go?
-Teyla: (nodding but hardly able to speak) Yes, I have what we need.
-John: You ok? You sound a little...
Teyla: (smiling) I am fine, John. And I am already enjoying our day together.

John strapped on the baby carrier and the picnic basket, and Teyla grabbed the diaper bag. It was a nice walk to the South Pier. It seemed that they always had things to talk about. Even as they sat on the pier enjoying their lunch they laughed together and gossiped about all the happenings in the city.
-Teyla: so Ronon and Rodney have both escorted Jennifer on this trip.
-John: Yup. Poor Rodney. I don't see how he's got a chance.
-Teyla: I would not count Rodney out just yet.
-John: But, it's Ronon...
-Teyla: There is much more to winning a woman's heart than good looks, charm, and a muscular physique.
-John: So I've learned the hard way.
-Teyla: John...
-John: Sorry.
The moment was now awkward. John turned his attention to Torren. Who was laying on the blanket between them. The boy delighted in the attention he got from John. And John did not mind indulging the baby.
-John: He likes the attention.
-Teyla: Yes. He misses his dad.
-John: I don't think I would have been able to move back to New Athose and leave this little guy.
-Teyla: he has not moved completely. He is just dividing his time so that he can work. In fact he will be back in a few days. I am hoping he can stay for a week. It really depends on the crops.
-John: Oh... So you two are still...
-Teyla: We are still figuring things out.
-John: I see...
Teyla could see the disappointment in his eyes. He tried to hide it with a smile directed at Torren, but she knew him all to well. This was more than just a friendly outing to him. He was making an effort to prove himself worthy of her, and her son. He had thought she and Kanan had ended their relationship.
-Teyla: I am sorry. I didn't realize... Perhaps we should call it a day.
-John: No... I shouldn't have been so presumptuous. Look we are friends, enjoying the day together. I'm having a great time with you two. Even if this is all it can be... I'm good with it.
-Teyla: Thank you for being so understanding. You mean a great deal to me. More than I could ever explain. I truly cherish our time together.
-John: Me too.

Missing Scene S5E14 'Prodigal'

Michael's plan was working brilliantly thus far. His hybrids easily gained access to the Ancient data base of Atlantis. Once he obtained the location of Teyla's quarters he went to get her and the child. A personal shield allowing him to pass through the stunn field.
The doors to Teyla's quarters opened abruptly, but before she could turn to see who it was, she was hit by a stun blast. Michael told his hybrid to take the child and reminded him the shield the baby from the stun field. The hybrid quickly did as he was told and Michael went for Teyla.
As he carried her back to the control room, he started to get those human urges again. They always seemed to plague him when he was near her. The thought came to him again, that perhaps she could come with him. In exchange for staying with her son, she could satisfy his needs. As he sat her in the chair in the office, he got a whiff of her hair. The sent of sweet flowers and herbs appealed to him, as did the touch of her soft bronze skin. Yes, he would have her. How could she say no.

* post episode S5E14 'Prodigal'

Teyla laughed joyfully as she watched Rodney and John race their toy cars. She felt foolish for being so cross the night before. A fight with Kanan had prompted his early departure from the city, and set her in a foul mood. But once again Rodney, Ronon and John had rescued her and her son... They had rescued all of Atlantis from Michael.
As they raced the cars, Teyla's mind wandered back to the night before.
~~She had hurried to John's side to fight Michael, determined to put an end to the reign of terror. And yet her heart filled with mixed emotions as she kicked Michael off the platform. They had created that monster, he had raped her, attacked the people of the Pegasus, kidnapped her people and threatened her son. Whatever sympathy she once felt for him had long ago been spent. And yet she had been shaken to the core. John, bloody and bruised struggled to her side allowing her a moment to rest her head against his chest, and breath. He put his arms loosely around her allowing her the time she needed to process, grieve, and be relieved.~~
Now she could enjoy the night. With her son in her arms and her friends keeping her company, all seemed right with the world. Amidst all the fun, Torren finally began to doze off. The race was a draw. John had won two and with the last race Rodney had equaled him.
-Rodney: One more round for the tiebreaker?
-John: We'll have to do it another night. I'm ready to turn in.
-Teyla: As are we. Torren can hardly keep his eyes open.
-John: I'll walk you to your quarters.
Rodney collected the cars while John instinctively took the groggy baby from Teyla. It felt good for her arms to be able to relax, while John thought it felt good to hold Torren in his. Once they were in her quarters, John easily put the baby to bed, much to Teyla's relief.
-Teyla: He didn't even budge.
-John: I have the magic touch I guess. You two have plans for tomorrow?
-Teyla: Yes. We are going to visit New Athose
-John: Sounds like fun.
-Teyla: (gravely) I do hope it will be.
-John: There a problem on New Athose?
-Teyla: (with a weak smile) No. It is just that I shared a private communication with Kanan earlier today. I told him about Michael.
-John: oh, man. I bet he's pissed.
-Teyla: Yes, that is one way to state it.
-John: I'm sure he's just worried about Torren.
-Teyla: I know. He's going to want to keep Torren for a few days.
-John: Look, I know you don't like to be away from your son, but Kanan is a good father, and he's worried. He'll take good care of him while he's there and in a few days this will all blow over.
-Teyla: I certainly hope that you are right.

Missing Scene S5E16 Brain Storm

So this was John's beach. Ronon had to admit it was pretty nice. John had taken a jumper out here a few times and put up a couple of shelters. He had helped the Athosians build plenty of tent homes and did a pretty good job. They were nothing fancy, but certainly livable for two weeks.
John took the time to teach Ronon to surf. Finally he had found something that Ronon didn't master his first time out. They went out early this morning, enjoying the morning breeze as they waited for the right wave. Even though surfing wasn't easy, the big guy enjoyed it. Plus it was a good distraction from the fact that Rodney was with Jennifer on Earth. He had been crushed when she first let him down, but lately another young woman crossed his mind more and more often. That must have been what was on his mind when John was calling him.
-John: Ronon... Hey buddy c'mon! You just missed a beauty!
-Ronon: Sorry.
-John: Ah don't worry about it. I just want to get a couple waves in before they get here.
-Ronon: So who's coming?
-John: Just Teyla, Torren, Lorne, Banks and Jacobson.
-Ronon: Banks is coming?
-John: (with a curious grin) Yeah... Just for the day. Is that a problem?
-Ronon: Nope.

They were both able to surf a wave before they noticed the jumper coming. To their relief Teyla had brought some delicious dishes for them to enjoy as well as some Ruse wine. The group unloaded the food along with a volleyball net and some surf boards.
It just so happened that Evan and Amelia were excellent surfers. Amelia stayed by Ronon's side giving him pointers when needed and Lorne was defiantly putting the moves on Lt. Amy Jacobson. John sat on the beach Torren and Teyla, watching their friends enjoying the surf. Teyla had a look of pleased accomplishment on her face, which peeked Johns curiosity.
-John: Did you plan this?
-Teyla: (grinning) I'm not sure I know what you mean?
-John: You did... You set them up.
-Teyla: Amelia may have mentioned that she would like to get to know Ronon better. And since Maj. Lorne had to come with us to fly the jumper...
-John: And everyone knows Amy has the hots for him.
-Teyla: That is true.
-John: And that means you and I can have some time alone.
-Teyla: This is... quite nice.
-John: It sure is.

Later the group came ashore for a round of volleyball. This was Amy's sport and her moment to impress Evan. She was tiny but she was fierce. The fact that she and Evan were competitive and Marines made them quite a force against Ronon and Amelia.
They took the lead as Ronon tried to get the hang of not pelting the ball so hard it went out of bounds. Soon enough they caught up to the Marines. But then Amy went down twisting her ankle.
-Evan: Are you all right?
-Amy: Yes. It'll be fine. It's an old injury. Dr. Becket warned me about playing volleyball with out the right shoes on.
-Lorne: I should take you back...
-Amy: That's not necessary. We can wrap it with the Ace bandage. Teyla made a feast for us, and I'm starving.
-Evan: ok. Let me help you back to the jumper and we'll get that ankle wrapped up.
Evan picked up the petite Marine and carried her to the jumper. On their way, Amy gave a quick wink to Amelia and Teyla, as Amelia and Ronon took down the net and packed it up.
-John: (whispering to Teyla) I saw that.
-Teyla: (smiling) Oh really. Come help me lay out dinner?
-John: (Smiling back) Sure.
They feasted on the delicious meal Teyla had brought for them. John and Ronon were happy to have real food and not just MREs. They enjoyed light conversation as the sun set. Torren began to fall asleep in John's arm, and Teyla sadly felt the day had come to n end.
-Teyla: It getting late. We should probably head back.
-John: I could lay Torren in the tent if you all wanted to stay a little longer.
-Amelia: I was hoping to get a quick run down the beach before we left.
-Evan: Well, I'm in no rush, if you're okay with that Amy?
-Amy: it's fine by me. I'm enjoying it out here.
-Amelia: Great. I'll be back in an hour.
-Ronon: I'll go with you.
Evan and Amy were left alone on the picnic blanket to enjoy each others company. John and Teyla went to his tent to lay the baby down. She laid beside her son, still marveling at him as new mothers do. John opened up the tent so that they could enjoy the breeze and the view of the ocean, before joining her on the blanket. Torren laid fast asleep between them as their eyes met.
-John: So, how are you?
-Teyla: I am doing well, John.
-John: I'm glad.
He reached over and gently touched her face. There were a million things he wanted to say, but nothing would come out. He pulled his hand away and sat up on the blanket. She sat up behind him and put her hand on his shoulder.
-Teyla: John...
He turned around at took her into his arms, kissing her. She melted into him, allowing herself to let go for just a moment… and then a moment longer. For how long, they were not sure. Their passionate moment broken finally by the sound of Ronon and Amelia's chatting and laughter growing closer. Teyla slowly pulled herself from Johns embrace and from his lips, but he wasn't quite ready to let her go.
-John: Teyla, wait...
-Teyla: No John, Ian sorry. I got carried away in the moment. I shouldn't have let things get this far. It's not fair to you.
-John: I'm perfectly okay with this. It's what I want.
-Teyla: I am sorry John. I have other considerations... Responsibilities...
-John: (nervously gathering his thoughts) I love you and Torren... And your people... So the only thing standing in our way is... Kanan?
-Teyla:(quietly) Yes...
-John: (Trying to stay calm) You need to make a decision, because… you're right. This isn't fair to any of us.
-Teyla: I need more time...
-John: Fine. I'll give you time, but not forever, Teyla.
-Teyla: John...
John got up and left the tent he needed a moment to himself. She knew better than to stop him. There was nothing she could say in this moment to change their feelings or their situation. It was best to let it go for now.

Post episode S5E20 'Enemy at the Gate'

Teyla had taken a great risk staying in the city with Torren, as it made its way to Earth. She had left Torren in the care of Jennifer and Lt. Anna Shane a Marine medic. It was such a relief that it had all worked out and Atlantis was victorious once again. She had no idea how she would explain this to Kanan. With the city now on Earth, she wondered what the future would hold for her, and for the people left behind in the Pegasus Galaxy.
She had just left the sleeping Torren and Anna in her quarters to rest, and made her way to the main balcony. Mr. Woolsey was there with Carson, Rodney and Jennifer. A few moments later, Amelia and Ronon, joined them. She thought it would be perfect if John were here. And as if on cue, he walked out to the balcony. There was some small talk as everyone took in the sight of Atlantis in the bay. They stood together, arms folded, her leaning slightly back against him. It was as close as they dare get in public. They stood out there for quite some time before they realized that everyone had left except Rodney and Jennifer, who were in their own world.
-Teyla: Where did everyone go?
-John: I suppose they have places to go, things to do.
-Teyla: And you?
-John: Not me. However, I could take you and Torren out. I've been wanting to get you a jogging stroller, so you can take Torren for a run.. Or I could take him when you need a break.
-Teyla: Really? That is so very thoughtful of you.
-John: ( with a joking grin) I know. Oh and we can go to a carnival. I know Torren is to young for the Farris wheel, but we could take him on the carousel. He'd love it.
-Teyla: It sounds like great fun.
-John: There's lots of things I want to show you while you're here. I hope you give me a chance to.
She smiled softly then looked away, out into the bay, beyond the bridge. Her mind now heavy in thought over consequences and ramifications. John could see the look of concern come over her. He may find it difficult to express his own feelings, but he always encouraged her to share what she was feeling.
-John: You okay?
-Teyla: I am worried about Kanan. It may be a while before we can contact New Athose. I don't want him to worry. And I know that he will be upset that Torren has left the galaxy. I'm afraid I will be making amends for quite some time because of my decision.
-John: you made the right choice. Torren belongs with you. Now cheer up. We're on Earth. I still have some vacation time accumulated. We are going to have some fun.
-Teyla: (giving him a half smile) Alright...
-John: no not alright... More like really cool! We're talking shopping like you wouldn't believe, carnivals, and football games. Live football games.
He swooped behind her raising her arms as if imitating a cheering crowd at a ball game causing her to burst out in laughter. In the excitement of the moment he wrapped his arms around her, The deep genuine laugh warmed his heart. He was excited about what the future would hold, anxious for the next adventure.