Hello, all! Today we're going to see if I have gotten over a huge blob of
writer's block yet…this'll probably suck, but at least I finally thought of
something NEW to write. We'll just see how it goes. I'm too lazy to try to
think of some clever, sarcastic disclaimer right now. You can use your own
wonderfully vivid imagination…ooh, and please don't forget to review.
Pplleeaassee??? I know that was pathetic, but I thrive on me groovy
reviews….Enjoy! (Or at least try your hardest…)
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Lord of the Rings II: Lord of the Merchandise
After saving the Free-Peoples of the world from the Dark Lord Sauron, the Fellowship of the Ring decided to take it easy for a while. Really, they deserved some serious vacation time. At the present moment the eight of them that remained living were reclining on a tiny strip of sandy beach beside the Anduin River, in the middle of the Brown Lands. It was Legolas' fault really. Aragorn had suggested vacationing on the sunny white sand beaches at the Bay of Belfalas, where the palm-trees swayed on the warm breeze and you could get all the free miruvor you wanted at the swim-up bar. Unfortunately, Legolas had reminded them that he couldn't go--didn't anyone remember that poem Galadriel had sent him?
"Legolas Greenleaf long under tree
In joy hast thou lived, beware of the Sea!
If thou hearest the cry of the gull on the shore,
Thy heart shall then rest in the forest no more."
If they went to the Bay of Belfalas, his ancient Sea-longing would be awakened and he would have no choice but to either go to the West or remain forever by the Bay, pining for the Sea. (Aragorn had snapped that he could really think of worse fates than spending eternity at a gorgeous all- inclusive resort and then eventually sailing off to Paradise.)
Nevertheless, Legolas had refused to go to Belfalas, and seeing as no Fellowship-Reunion-Vacation would be complete without him, they had finally just decided to go to the Brown Lands and stay at some motel by the lovely Anduin River. How bad could it be? At least they'd all be together, and besides, it would probably be a lot cheaper than Belfalas. So there they were, out behind "Mama Vanwe's Anduin Motel", attempting to get something of a tan by the banks of the great river. "Master Legolas, would you kindly put some sunscreen on my back?" Asked Gimli, rolling over on his beach towel. The Elf took one look at the Dwarf's hairy back and got to his feet quickly.
"Actually Master Dwarf, I was just about to, um, go…use the bathroom!" He hurried off, leaving the others to deal with the question of applying sunscreen to Gimli's back. Legolas ducked inside the shady the motel's office, blinking at the stark contrast between dark and light. Behind the desk stood the surly middle-aged Elf known as Mama Vanwe to the travelers that wandered through her little motel. "What d'ya need, toots?" she rasped, in her gruff but maternal voice.
"Um, I was just, um, going up to my room for a minute, ma'am," Legolas stammered. Mama Vanwe had a way of making even the noblest, most valiant Elves like poor Lego nervous.
She raised a many-times shaved eyebrow. "Yeah, knock yourself out, hon."
Legolas smiled weakly and proceeded to his room that he was being forced to share with Gimli. Aragorn (the brave soul) was rooming with Gandalf. Each room had the double bed and a couch for the other, unluckier of the two. The four Hobbits shared a room as well. Sure, it wasn't the ideal arrangement, but they were on sort of a tight budget. Besides, the Hobbits were small, and you could shove two of 'em in one bed, seeing as they were all very mature and had gotten out of the "ooooh that is like soooo gay" stage of their lives. Our good Elf unlocked the door to room #214 (Now I don't want to hear of anyone going to motels trying to get room #214…) and proceeded to the bathroom. He opened the door, and his beautiful Elvish-eyes widened. His shapely jaw dropped. He was filled with a great terror…[to be continued]
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What will Legolas find in the bathroom? Evil fangirls? Gimli's toiletries? *Gasp* A toilet that hasn't been sanitized for his protection? Oh no!
Read on to find out! I promise the action will pick up, after somewhat of a slow start…they will soon be off on their new quest!
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Lord of the Rings II: Lord of the Merchandise
After saving the Free-Peoples of the world from the Dark Lord Sauron, the Fellowship of the Ring decided to take it easy for a while. Really, they deserved some serious vacation time. At the present moment the eight of them that remained living were reclining on a tiny strip of sandy beach beside the Anduin River, in the middle of the Brown Lands. It was Legolas' fault really. Aragorn had suggested vacationing on the sunny white sand beaches at the Bay of Belfalas, where the palm-trees swayed on the warm breeze and you could get all the free miruvor you wanted at the swim-up bar. Unfortunately, Legolas had reminded them that he couldn't go--didn't anyone remember that poem Galadriel had sent him?
"Legolas Greenleaf long under tree
In joy hast thou lived, beware of the Sea!
If thou hearest the cry of the gull on the shore,
Thy heart shall then rest in the forest no more."
If they went to the Bay of Belfalas, his ancient Sea-longing would be awakened and he would have no choice but to either go to the West or remain forever by the Bay, pining for the Sea. (Aragorn had snapped that he could really think of worse fates than spending eternity at a gorgeous all- inclusive resort and then eventually sailing off to Paradise.)
Nevertheless, Legolas had refused to go to Belfalas, and seeing as no Fellowship-Reunion-Vacation would be complete without him, they had finally just decided to go to the Brown Lands and stay at some motel by the lovely Anduin River. How bad could it be? At least they'd all be together, and besides, it would probably be a lot cheaper than Belfalas. So there they were, out behind "Mama Vanwe's Anduin Motel", attempting to get something of a tan by the banks of the great river. "Master Legolas, would you kindly put some sunscreen on my back?" Asked Gimli, rolling over on his beach towel. The Elf took one look at the Dwarf's hairy back and got to his feet quickly.
"Actually Master Dwarf, I was just about to, um, go…use the bathroom!" He hurried off, leaving the others to deal with the question of applying sunscreen to Gimli's back. Legolas ducked inside the shady the motel's office, blinking at the stark contrast between dark and light. Behind the desk stood the surly middle-aged Elf known as Mama Vanwe to the travelers that wandered through her little motel. "What d'ya need, toots?" she rasped, in her gruff but maternal voice.
"Um, I was just, um, going up to my room for a minute, ma'am," Legolas stammered. Mama Vanwe had a way of making even the noblest, most valiant Elves like poor Lego nervous.
She raised a many-times shaved eyebrow. "Yeah, knock yourself out, hon."
Legolas smiled weakly and proceeded to his room that he was being forced to share with Gimli. Aragorn (the brave soul) was rooming with Gandalf. Each room had the double bed and a couch for the other, unluckier of the two. The four Hobbits shared a room as well. Sure, it wasn't the ideal arrangement, but they were on sort of a tight budget. Besides, the Hobbits were small, and you could shove two of 'em in one bed, seeing as they were all very mature and had gotten out of the "ooooh that is like soooo gay" stage of their lives. Our good Elf unlocked the door to room #214 (Now I don't want to hear of anyone going to motels trying to get room #214…) and proceeded to the bathroom. He opened the door, and his beautiful Elvish-eyes widened. His shapely jaw dropped. He was filled with a great terror…[to be continued]
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
What will Legolas find in the bathroom? Evil fangirls? Gimli's toiletries? *Gasp* A toilet that hasn't been sanitized for his protection? Oh no!
Read on to find out! I promise the action will pick up, after somewhat of a slow start…they will soon be off on their new quest!