Harry and The 'I Just Sent Back My Mind to a Younger Self and That Probably Wasn't The Best of Plans,' Plot Device, a Harry Potter Parody.
Harry gasped for breath as the spell began to take control of his body. 'No!' he thought, 'this is all wrong! This wasn't supposed to happen!' Harry was not taking his death very well. (1)
Voldemort cackled evilly, but the effect was sort of taken away as he was getting so high-pitched these days that human ears could not hear half of the laughter. (2)
And so, as the ballad writers prepared their pens, and the widows prepared their handkerchiefs, our hero was very slowly…snuffed out. (3)
When Harry blinked after a bit of spastic coughing, he saw an awe-inspiring sight. It was so magniformus that he shook. That is, Harry shook with surprised laughter as he saw what could only have been The Stupidest Idea Anyone Had Ever Had ™. It was a Giant Furby. And it was a truly awful sight to behold.
WHY DOST THOU... yay, I wove you... EHERM WHY DOST THOU SHAKETH FORTH IN FRONT OF THR MIGHTY... giiglyu poo I wove you ...HACK THE MIGHTY CUTTLEMUISTERCUTIEPOSSUMMSANDRALADEEDA(4) GOD OF THE UNWORTHY SERVANTS OF FURBYLORDS: THE HUMANS
Harry was not sure what to think, but one thought came clearly to his befuddled mind. 'Well that was unexpected.'
Then Harry remembered why he was here in the first place, and cried indignantly, "Why am I here! I'm supposed to kill Voldemort!!!!"
AH, ITS YOU WELL WOULD YOU LIKE ANOTHER CHANCE? PERHAPS PUT YOUR MIND INTO A MUCH YOUNGER BODY. hMMM I AM CLEVER I SHALL I SUPPOSE. OFF YOU GO.
Harry supposed it couldn't be worse than being dead, and since he already knew how he grew up, he could at least make life better for himself, so he nodded.
It was probably one of the most stupid things he had done in his life- oops, sorry, forgot he was dead…
So with one majestic wave of its… er appendage, the Giant Furby Lord Cuttlemuiestercutiepossummsandraladeeda sent the annoying spirit/soul/mind of Harry potter on its way to greatness. Then cackled evilly. (5)
1) Of course most people don't, but you really never know, this life seems to suck, and the afterlife could be one big party.
2) However, many dogs shook with fear.
3) In other words, suffocated.
4) Pronounced Cuddle- Maestro- Cutie- Possum- Sandra- La- Dee- Da.
5) Because that's just what Giant Furby Lords Do when they have a plot…