Me: Yeah so I thought this would be a funny/heart attack for Sanji moment before the last chapter of The Freaky Flag. It'll be posted tomorrow...or, for the late readers, September 21. Kinda short One-Shot, but, oi, I'm updating a lot and that's the point for it to be short!

Mid: We own nothing...damn Lawyer stalkers...

Sanji's day was over all perfect. The sheer, unmistakably definition of the word used to be foreign to his ears, since Luffy and the crew usually got on his nerves, but not today. He had not idea what Usopp, Luffy, and Chopper were doing to be so quiet, Robin and Nami were reading as usual, Franky was working on repairs below the deck, soundless, Brook was tuning his violin, and the marimo was probably napping.

The sunset was absolutely breath-taking. Its reddish-orange glow completely illuminated the Sunny, giving it a happy aura. Dinner was already made, still in the oven to keep it warm for about ten more minutes. Sanji had his relaxing smoke, noticing that he only lit one cigarette today. Normally, he would have chewed out about six with the boys playing around and disturbing him. But after only one, his body was completely at ease. Sanji smiled as he stared out of the kitchen's port-hole. A perfect end to the perfect day.

A certain reindeer's voice broke his peaceful silence, though. Sanji chalked it up to them probably playing, but the others started screaming as well. Sanji scowled, just getting used to his well deserved quiet time. He stood up and stomped irritably out of the kitchen and onto the deck, out in the open air. The Straw Hat Trouble Trio was standing in a circle, surrounding something that Sanji couldn't make out. Chopper was in Heavy Point, bulging muscles forcibly pushing down on that mysterious something. The captain was flailing his arms in what looked like a desperate; a river on tears flowing down his face. Usopp was in the same condition, but a trail of snot was gushing from his long nose. Chopper seemed to be the only one serious and actually doing something for the...something. Annoyed that he still didn't know what was happening, Sanji jumped over the railing and landed beside the two hysterically weeping teens.

"SANJI," Chopper all but yelled once he saw him. Said cook appeared confused until he saw that something laying down on the deck, pale, and unmoving. Zoro was gagging rapidly as his body jerked and tried to fight whatever he was choking on out. Sanji had never seen Zoro so helpless and panicked. though he would never admit it, he felt his heart ache just seeing the drool slide down the side of the swordsman's mouth.

In what seemed like a millisecond, Sanji was on his knees beside the reindeer doctor, hands on Zoro's face gently. "What's happening to him?!"

"He's choking! I can't seem to get it out," the doctor cried depressingly. An idea sprung into the blonde's mind. Though, it was a long shot between saving Zoro and possibly killing him, he had no choice. Sanji rose from his knees quickly, standing perfectly balanced on his feet before raising one high in the air. He brought it down with medium force onto the swordsman's abdomen, causing him to gag painfully as something flew out of his drooling mouth. The object rolled across the deck as Zoro gasped for air, threatening to steal it from everyone else on the planet.

Sanji hadn't realized that his heart quickened in the process of this. Before he knew it, he was breathing hard as well. Luffy and Usopp hugged each other, (knowing that Zoro would probably cut them up if they touched him after something like that) sobbing loudly in relief. The color returned the Zoro's face slowly as Chopper examined him, extremely concerned. Sanji growled one he spotted what the object he was choking on was. He was so filled with rage that he was close to shoving it back down his throat. With a primal hiss, Sanji spun around to the recovering moss-head. "I should fucking murder you myself! Dumbass Marimo, how many times how I told you not to do that?"

Zoro only stared at the floorboards, purposely avoiding the angry cook's gaze. He knew Sanji warned him that thing would happen, but it was always an instinct to do it. Besides, he thought he was so trained and skilled that this sort of petty thing would never happen. Sanji marched over to the doctor with his head practically shoved down the other's throat, gently pushed him out of the way, (out of harm's way) and kicked the swordsman square in the forehead. If he hadn't restrained himself, the cook would have killed him himself.

"Damn, shitty-cook. I'm sorry," Zoro muttered, rubbing the large bump forming between his eyes. Sanji, however, wasn't hearing any of the half-assed apologies. "You idiot! I fucking told you this would happen, but you kept doing it! Do you not realize that you almost gave me and everyone else a heart attack? To think that something so fucking trivial and easily avoidable could have killed you," Sanji stalked off into the galley, leaving the four to gap. Zoro hadn't realized the cook warned him out of concern. He just thought that was a joke the other was making. Zoro groaned, which hurt his lungs. He couldn't bear to think what the shit-cook would think if he died from something so idiotic.

Usopp and Luffy had stopped crying after Sanji stomped off emotionally. They both waited for Zoro to speak if he was ever going to. He only continued to stare at the now still object that was lodged in his windpipe only moments ago.

A cork.

A fucking sake bottle's cork.

~\!/\!/\!/~

Sanji sat at the table wearily. His utterly perfect day ruined. The only upside was that his lovely ladies didn't witness something like that. He might have counted Zoro being alive as one, too if he wasn't so pissed. He told him that opening a fucking liquor bottle like that was dangerous, not something that proved how damn manly and strong he was. A freshly lit cigarette was burning quickly in his mouth. Fucking stress-free day my ass, Sanji thought bitterly. The moss-head never once stopped to think about the possible effect he would have on people if something bad happened to him. Like their captain; Luffy would probably be devastated and sob to kingdom come. Usopp: well, he'd bawl just as much as the straw hat would. Nami would be sad by his death, but mostly by losing Zoro's debt. Robin would at least shed two tears for her fallen nakama. Chopper, the big baby, would only follow in the captain's footsteps, along with Brook and Franky. On the inside, Sanji would be dead, too. Though, on the outside, he can't express as much.

The kitchen door opened slowly and a moss-covered head peered in. Sanji threw one of his lesser plates at the tanned face, making it retreat cautiously. The plate shattered against the wall and Zoro walked fully inside the room, much to the cook's dismay. He knew Sanji wasn't going to throw another one of his precious-another plate was viciously thrown above the swordsman's head; glass falling onto his hair, but not harming him. "Cook, I-"

"Save your damn apology. I don't wanna hear it," Sanji growled bitterly. Zoro felt his body shrink away from the sharp tone, but he quickly regained his composure. "Cook, I know what I did was...stupid as hell, and I'm sorry. I really am. I'm sorry that I made you worry and almost killed you along with myself. I'm really glad that you saved me," Zoro felt his lips move, but he didn't make them say those last words. He noticed how the cook's body tensed, but he didn't glance at him. The swordsman too this as encouragement to keep moving in this general direction.

"If I had died, I would've missed out on you." Sanji's body twitched. "I would have missed out on your adorable angry face," Zoro stepped closer to the table. "Your mesmerizing kicks. Your questionable question mark eyebrows. Your damn delicious food." Zoro was inches away from Sanji's face as he leaned over the short end of the table. Sanji still refused to look at him, though his food compliment restrained him from punching the other in the face. Zoro's nose touched his as he grinned, "To put it simply, I'm in heaven. If I died, anywhere I go would probably still be hell."

"Damn Marimo, saying sappy shit like that."

"Damn cook, crying at sappy shit like that."

Sanji smiled, despite his still fuming rage inside of him. The swordsman nuzzled his nose into his, which he gladly his appreciation with a quick kiss. Zoro leaned in for more, but a pale hand made contact with his sore throat, squeezing slightly. "S-Shit-cook?"

"If you ever go anywhere close to death again, your ass is mine."

"My ass is already yours."

"Well, then, your ass will match the top of your head 'cause it'll be grass. Got it?" Zoro smiled widely, pecking the blonde's lips with his own. Sanji let his neck go, "That better had been a promise-sealer and not just because you wanted to."

"Who knows?"

"...I can't believe you ruined my day for this shit," Sanji growled lowly. Seriously, when the hell was he going to get another opportunity like this? Zoro kissed him reassuringly, but that didn't fucking compare to his quiet time. Sanji expected Zoro to make up for that by sparing some of his "quiet time."

Me: I just wanted to get that fluff outta my head.

Mid: Review!