I know I should be writing Yayaka (check it out if you havn't yet) but I had a fight with my best friend ON THE PHONE, so here's some angst and deathand stuff. Enjoy!
I do not own Sword Art Online and don't take any profit out of this.
fingernails carve mocking smiles into my palms and spit sparks toward the dirt beneath me.
i don't know when i've last been this nervous.
no, that's a lie. my first kill, back when i looked around everywhere, wanting to see if anyone would spot my colour.
somebody did.
she was just a girl.
and she was beautiful, just like this one.
i take a deep breath. i imagine i can feel oxygen spreading through my system, blood pumping it through every cell of my body.
but i can't and that calms me. because, after all, this is just a game.
they're coming.
i can hear their footsteps, six heavy boots crunching across the gravel that is so common on this level. one of them is a tall female, i have studied her especially thouroughly.
grey, shoulder-long hair and sharp green eyes. her inventory is bursting and the charming laugh she lets slip now makes me want to charge out at her immediately.
patience is a virtue.
they're finally sitting down. that's when i creep further out of my hiding place. i can't quite stop the silent scoff on my face as i watch the three oblivious friends.
humans are so ignorant.
a good player would never meet here.
the trees are liars. they seem innocent and yet they hide death behind there backs.
i slide like a taipan from cover to cover, elm to elder, traitor to traitor.
almost there.
and then i reach them and everything is just a haze.
figures standing, jumping, movement, the screeching of chairs where it does not belong, a scream, the gleam of a blade.
and the frustrated feeling you get when your browser takes too long to process your commands.
because i have to wait untill i see it, the sight i came here for.
because this is why i love this game and i burden myself with this, every day, every hour, that hurt, that ache that i know should not be there.
because they are so beautiful when they die.
the woman's eyes widen and finally show the full expanse of those gorgeous irises, leaf green contrasting against stark white but this is merely the beginning.
i can feel the woman's companions burst behind me, sending a weak flare of energy my way and ignore them.
time seems to slow down.
her body convulses slightly, her stomach is tugged in and her hands try to make a last grasp at the beads of light seaping from her slit throat untill finally all her being is annulled, deleted from the face of this world.
her spirit comes undone and i am lone witness of the event of her revoke.
billions and billions of tiny shards are sent everywhere
beautiful light splatters in all directions
emeralds fly skywards only to float to the ground, thinning with every passing second untill they, too, blast into smaller yet particles, again and again, invisible to human eyes, but i know it's happening
and as suddenly as she began to cease to be, she stops.
i take a moment to replay in my head what i just saw because i know what comes next.
next comes that pain, that ache, that i cannot avoid, no matter how many times i kill.
a bud in my chest, it opens.
it opens and it blooms, anguish blossoming throughout my entire body, rendering me completly immobile within seconds.
but this radiating agony is not real.
i know it isn't.
and i know it is myself causing it, my very own conscience making me endure a metaphorical broken heart, thoroughly punishing me for my sins.
eyes clenched shut, i sink to the floor below, bare knees scraping against grit.
i barely register my hands coming up to claw at my cardiac center of hurting.
a broken whimper reaches my ears and it takes a moment to realise that i must have made this dud noise.
the feeling ebbes away only sluggishly, unwilling to quite let go, or so it seems.
i stand an shaky legs to retrieve the dagger i dropped further left.
and then i leave.
i have things to do.
levels to play, bosses to beat, skills to buy.
because, after all, this is just a game.
Ha-ha, that was rubbish. Review!