"Normani."
"No."
"Lauren."
"No."
"Zayn?"
Vicky pressed the heels of her hands to her forehead and squeezed her eyes shut in frustration. "He wasn't even in the movie Vic!" said Vicky, "although that would've been one hell of a good movie if he was."
"So, not Zayn?" Vic asked one last time to make sure.
"No Vic, not Zayn," she repeated one last time, "okay think really hard, who's the one person you haven't mentioned yet whom I have a really unhealthy obsession with at the moment?"
"Uhh," Vic took a moment to think hard, until it finally got to her that she had to hit herself in the head, "Camila! Oh my god I can't believe I forgot about her."
"Yea," Vicky agreed with a nod, "might I remind you she's the whole reason we even came to watch this movie in the first place."
"About that, I still don't know why you dragged me here to watch a movie about stupid cliché girl drama, instead of going out to eat ice cream," Vic said with a pout.
"Excuse me! It's like one of the best movie ever," said Vicky as she put her hand over her heart to act offended, "c'mon it wasn't so bad now" "she softly pushed the other girl.
"Oh believe me, it was," Vic groaned in an exaggerated way, "I had to sit through 60 minutes of finding out if the pretty rich girl would choose either outfit A or outfit B, only to find out she finally chose outfit C, which to me is the most stupid plot twist they could have used," Vic continued to rant.
While Vic kept going on about all the wrong things the movie portrayed, Vicky couldn't help but be in awe at the girl in front of her and think of how pretty she looked under the street lamp light. She mentally gave herself a pat in the back for having the courage to ask her to go with her to go see the movie she had waited on to see for months. She was glad Vic had even said yes to it.
"…And that's why I'm never seeing another movie with you, you have the worst taste in things honestly," Vic stated, "thank god I get to go home now and sleep," she finished with a long yawn while she stretched her arms.
As Vic stopped stretching, Vicky took this time to take both of her hands in her own, "I'm glad you decided to come with me," she told her, "even if it was just for a little hang out."
"Yeah yeah, don't worry about it," Vic shook her head dismissing her, "it's late, I should probably go now," she said as things started to get uncomfortable to her.
"Oh yea, it's fine, totally," Vicky jumbled with her words trying to keep it cool and not seem too disappointed about it.
Vicky turned her head sideways to give her a goodbye kiss but Vic stopped her.
"Oh no, you're not giving one of those lame cheek to cheek kisses, please," she said in a sarcastic tone knowing exactly what the other girl was about to do, "c'mon now, give me a proper goodbye kiss."
"Vic but you know how I don't like those kinds of kisses," she whined to the taller girl.
"Either you give me a proper kiss or I leave now," Vic raised one of her eyebrows in all seriousness.
"Okay okay, but only because it's you," Vicky complied seeing no other choice. As she was about to give her a peck, Vic made a swift move so she'd miss her and instead gave her a sloppy wet kiss knowing how much it would piss the other girl.
"Oh my god Vic, I hate you," Vicky huffed in annoyance, "you know how much I hate when my cheeks get wet," she said as she continuously tried to wipe all the saliva from her cheek.
"Yea, and that's not the only wet thing I will be leaving today," Vic joked without realizing the implications of what she had said.
This made Vicky blush and realize just how much she'd miss the other girl. "I missed your perverted jokes mixed with sarcasm man," she said and without being conscious of it went to give her a kiss on the lips until she stumbled upon her feet realizing the taller girl was already 5 feet away running from her. She remembered having heard a faint 'I can't' but she decided to chase after her to make sure it wasn't all in her head.
She finally reached her at a stop sign out of breath. When Vic saw her she went to go run the other way, until the smaller girl took one of her hands not letting her go that far.
"Stop, what are you doing," she asked her with a confused look on her face.
"I don't know, but I can't do this right now," the other girl replied trying to get away once again.
"This is like a pattern with you, you know that? You're always leaving, running. Because if you did, then you'd want it, need it, and then you'd get hurt," Vicky said leaving the other girl speechless, "but you're wrong, it's not going to happen this time," she continued, "you once said that you were never leaving me no matter how hard things got," she put both of her hands on the sides of her head so she would look at her, "and guess what, I'm not leaving you either, and pushing me away is not going to change that."
Vic tried to get words flowing, but nothing made sense. "So don't you dare give up on us now," Vicky stated confidently, "even if I have to wait some time for you to find out what is that you want, I'm not going anywhere," she continued, "even if I have to love you twice as much and don't get anything in return, that's what I'll do, because all that matters to me is your happiness," she caressed her cheek, "I might've been stupid to let you walk away once, but I'm not going to make the same mistake twice."
Vicky's little speech calmed Vic down enough to realize that maybe letting someone else into your life wasn't that bad after all. She thought about how she too missed the other girl and invited her over to her house to hang out for a little while to talk out everything.
Once they got to Vic's home they sat on the couch to talk about anything and everything. After a while Vic got up and offered to prepare some hot chocolate for both of them. She was in the process of putting the cup of water inside the microwave when she got the feeling of someone else in the room. As she turned around she found Vicky standing there with a look of sadness in her eyes.
"I just can't take it anymore," she rushed out before going to kiss her. A kiss as if the world was about to come to an end. Like a desperate need to never let go again. Vic didn't try to stop her this time and after a long deep kiss Vicky couldn't help but say, "you have no idea how long I've been waiting for this."
"Me too," Vic sighed throwing all of her doubts out the window. "I have an idea we should drink some alcohol to cut down the tension," she went to open the cabinet where all the bottles were stored.
"Actually I don't think that is a good idea, you know I don't drink," Vicky crossed her arms uncomfortably.
"No but here, try this one," she shoved a blue looking bottle into her arms.
"F-r-i-z-z-e," Vicky tried reading out loud but got interrupted.
"It's Frizzé," Vic corrected her, "don't worry it's only like 7% alcohol, so it won't do much," she dismissed with her hand.
Vicky still wasn't sure but decided to give it a go because the extravagant design had caught her attention. "Here," Vic handed her a wine glass and took the bottle from her to pour some in it, "I'm sure you'll really like it once you try it."
She took a sip while Vic waited curious to see her reaction. "Umm," she couldn't decide what to think of this weird new drink until little bubbles started popping inside her mouth, "oh my god this is like the coolest thing ever!" she said after finishing the tasty liquid.
"I knew you would like the after effect," Vic said laughing, "I prefer the violet one but I took it to a party the other night so the blue one was the next best thing."
The night continued with them drinking and making fun of each other about how wasted and sloppy they both looked. A moment of silence came over them to the point where they just stood there staring at each other's lips.
That was all the encouragement Vicky needed. Slowly she leaned forward, letting her body touch her, lightly pressing upon her until she had the other girl against the cabinet, and she let her mouth close over hers with a tenderness that was at the same time electric. With the utmost care, she cherished her mouth, lingering over the kiss.
At the same time her hands had made their way between her bare legs. The shorts Vic wore, the only thing standing in her way. Vicky pushed her thighs wider and wider apart. Her fingers moved boldly between her legs and she thought she might cum right there once they hit the wet fabric of her panties. One of her fingers moved its way under the obstruction, making her squirm with want.
The feel of Vicky's eyes on her was driving Vic to distraction, and she groaned as she slid a finger over her center, pressing down gently, "I'm so wet."
"What do you want?" she tore her hand away, waiting for the response.
"You," she whined trying to get her hand back into its place.
"How?" she stroked the swollen lips of her sex, drawing the wetness up and around her clit.
"Fucking me," she kept her eyes on her as she guided her fingers deep inside her.
Vicky tried to remember to breathe, unable to tear her eyes away from the sight of just how good it felt to be inside her. Vic arched into her touch, moaning into her mouth, overcome by the startling sense of everything she was feeling. Vicky's lips left her mouth and she licked down the side of her throat. They both reached for the hem of her t-shirt and it was off in a matter of moments. Her shorts weren't far behind.
Vicky took a moment, and sat Vic on top of the cabinet. She sat naked before her. Her breasts rising with lust, her nipples hard, waiting for her touch. Tenderly, she dipped her head and delicately sucked hard on them. Vic let out a moan as she put her hands on her head, feeling her hair between her fingers. She felt drunk, and dizzy. She let her hands move down over her shoulders and she could swear that she could feel her body heat burning through her shirt.
Vicky's mouth moved slowly down, over her trembling stomach. Her tongue snaked out and licked her navel, making her growl as a bolt of pleasure shot through her. She grabbed her ass as she moved even lower, pulling her forward so that she was right on the edge of the cabinet, then draped her legs over her shoulders.
She then proceeded to bury her head between her thighs. She began by kissing the walls of her thighs until she reached the deeper part of her pussy, taking a lick on her clitoris which sent shivers running throughout the taller girl's body.
She decided to go one step further and use her fingers. She started a moving in and out motion while she sucked on her clitoris. She started fucking her hard with her fingers by pressing them down against her pussy and thrusting them deeply so her whole body rocked against the motion of her hand. She kept on sucking on her clitoris as her fingers kept pounding in and out of her.
She could feel the way her touch transformed her, the way that she was finding her way back to her; she heard in her voice, in the way she spoke her name. It was all she ever wanted to be for her; the light that brought her home.
She felt the other girl's whole body tightened around her as she finally let go of everything, letting her wash the pain away on the strength of her love. She was flooding her, filling her, making her complete in all the ways she wasn't without her.
She couldn't believe just how delicious the girl of her dreams tasted against her; it was like biting into a really juicy piece of fruit, and having to pursue your lips against it to make sure you catch all the drips of juice.
"I want to taste me on your mouth," Vic whispered as she bit down on her lip.
Vicky looked up, sucked on her one last and happily obliged to what she asked. She helped the girl down before she kissed her savored each other as their tongues brushed tentatively. They continued making out until breathing became a problem.
They both stood up before each other, with a spark in their eyes that told each other they were in the right place with the right person. As if they were finally home. Vic didn't think her legs would be able to hold her up anymore so Vicky kneeled down to snake her arms around her legs and picked her up. She carried her to her bedroom and put her down once they got to the door.
Once in her bedroom, she led her over to the dresser, turning her so that she was facing the mirror. "I want you to see what I see," she trailed two fingers along the side of her face, bringing them under her chin as she met her gaze in the mirror. "I want you to see all the great things that make you who you are," she kept trailing her fingers over her body, "all the great things that make you who you are and make me love you."
Vic looked up at her with a questioning look not understanding fully what was happening. She could see the desire the other girl had for her so clearly etched on her face that it made her wonder where all of this talking was coming from.
Vicky answered her questioning look with a kiss, turning her around in her arms so that she was once again facing the mirror, and she was standing behind her.
"Oh god, where do I even start," she began,
"I like your smile," she began as Vic started to turn her head away. "No no, just listen to me," she took her in a loving embrace and turned her so she'd stand in front of her, "I know it might sound cliché, but you just have that kind of smile that seems to brighten up the entire room," she continued, "the way your cheeks bundle up and look so cute," she kept caressing her cheek as she made the other girl smile, "yes exactly, just like that," she laughed and kissed one of her cheeks, "and believe me, I'd do anything to keep that gorgeous smile on your face," a smile appeared on her own face. "And I especially like the way your lips curl up when you do smile," she traced her lips with her thumb staring at them, "your very luscious lips," she licked her own lips and got closer, "and if I could kiss those lips forever, I don't think I'd ever need anything else," she finished with a kiss.
"I…" started Vic.
"I'm not finished," Vicky repeated with another kiss. "And it's not only the way you smile with those lips, it's also how you look at me with a smile in your eyes," she said as she looked deep into her eyes and let a short laugh escape, "god, don't even get me started with your eyes," her laugh turned into a dreamy sigh, "honestly, I could live my life staring at them, they are absolutely gorgeous," she stopped for a moment to think for a better way to describe them, "you have really lovely, iridescent blue eyes did you know," she questioned more to herself than to the girl, "they're like two calm oceans where you can travel and get lost in them for a moment," she continued, "and that's not the best part yet, what I like the most is that they sometimes turn into a mixture of green and it's just something so fascinating," she ended with a clear glint in her eyes.
Vic tried to get out a word, but Vicky interrupted her once again. "Your hair is really pretty, why don't you wear it down all the time," she went to take down her hair.
"I hate my hair, like the left side I just want to cut it all off," Vic tried to stop her but gave up knowing it was of no use.
"Well you're not allowed to cut it, ever," Vicky said as she traced her finger through her hair, "don't get me wrong, I love how you can easily put up your hair in a messy bun and still look perfect, but I think it's really pretty how your wavy, brown hair gracefully falls down your shoulders and encircles your diamond-shaped face," she pushed some of her hair to the side showing part of her neck, "it's really hot," she whispered on her ear and kissed her shoulder.
Vic tried to turn around to tell her otherwise, but Vicky didn't give her chance to. "You know, you once said you really like it when people do things to you neck," she started tracing her fingers on the side of her neck, "I'd really like to test out that theory," she noticed the shivers she was leaving on the girl and switched to give her sloppy kisses with a smirk.
"Don't stop," Vic gasped.
Vicky continued to alternate between kissing and licking her neck, as she brought her hands up to her breasts, "you have really nice nipples," she said as she rolled them with her fingers, "everything about you is perfect and sexy, we should spend more time having sex," she whispered to her ear as she then proceeded to lick it, "just to, you know, spice things up."
Vic decided that it was her turn to make love to the other girl, so she led her over to the bed. As they were both lying on the bed Vicky couldn't help but point out the little freckles on her stomach, "I think it's cute how you have a lot of freckles on your body, it's like they're there to be counted whenever we lazily lay around."
"Yeah, there's specially this one I really like," the taller girl said as she brought the other girl's hand to show her the one she was talking about. Vicky couldn't stop tracing all the freckles as if to try make out constellations with them, but was caught off guard when the other girl started moving. The taller girl slowly got on top of her in a sultry way and started kissing her between yawns.
Vicky noticed how Vic was slowly falling asleep, but trying her best to stay awake. She thought maybe they should just go to sleep since it was only the normal thing to do, knowing that it was way past 3 am. "C'mon sleepy head," she said as she took hold of her and put her on one side of the bed, "we had a long day; we're super tired, let's go to bed." Vic tried to protest mumbling how she was wide awake, but she knew better, "don't worry about it, we still have forever to have super-hot sex and make outs, but for now let's just cuddle and sleep," she said as she placed herself behind her to spoon the taller girl and hold her close, leaving a goodnight kiss on her back. "Goodnight love of my life," was the last thing Vic heard before traveling into dream land, knowing that just for once she wouldn't feel so alone.
While the other girl slept, Vicky couldn't help but think, this was it. This was the kind of feelings fairy tales talked about. The thing people call 'love'. It's just this feeling you can't put into words...And the pit of your stomach doesn't even begin to cover it. It's something so overwhelming, so complete, and so immeasurable, in a way. It's something without bound or length, or depth, it's just absolute. It's unchanging and ever-changing simultaneously. Fiery. And yet, safe. It's wanting to give them everything. Your everything to be exact. It's wanting to protect them from all the bad and all the wrong. It's wanting to pull them down a star from the sky, because it's the one thing that reminds you of them. Of how they shine and how the sparkle, but only when everything around them is dark enough for only a few of those to see. How you have to look really hard through a cloudy sky to see the marvelous things, the world provides for you. And that's how you think of her, of all the layers of depth she has, and how as you discover each and every one of them you find some amazing things about her. It's not being scared of what you might in the process of finding her out, but instead wanting to find out the explanation to those things. It's wanting to get inside her head because you're just so amazed by the way she thinks, and the things she says, and even the things she does, so you want to follow the path of where all of those things came from. It's being the last thing you think about at night, and the first thing you think about in the morning. It's that notebook kind of love. It's a sickening feeling when you see them sad, and a happy-go-lucky one when you see them smile. It's feeling as though you've won the lottery when you make them laugh, even barely chuckle. And feeling as if it was the end of the world when they're mad or even disappointed. Especially at you. It's loving someone too much to quit. And yet...it's loving someone enough to leave, if that's what they need. It's being able to break your heart for them, if they can't do it themselves. But not before you try your best to fight for them. It's having the courage to accept when you're wrong, and ask for forgiveness, not letting pride get in the way. But also having the courage to accept things and be patient. Be patient for whatever she needs, whether it's space, time, love, trusting that eventually things will work out. It's knowing that nothing lasts forever, but still hoping that the will. It's learning to cherish all the moments with them, no matter how small they are, because those will end up being some of your best moments. It's striving to become a better person, not because they expect you to, but because they inspire you to give out your best and only your best. It's willing to work on all your negatives to turn them into positives, so this way they can be proud of you. It's not having to have a sense of need around them, but a sense of want. It's knowing you are just fine being by yourself and going through life on your own, but wanting to share precious moments and memories with them. All the ups, all the downs. Everything. It's picturing a life where you wouldn't want to spend it with anyone else. It's imagining ant other day next to them, cooking together, watching tv together, doing retinal stuff together. It's wanting to see their sleepy confused look when they're tired or they wake up. It's enjoying the way they sleep, or the way they do certain stuff. It's also having a strong desire for them. For their touch, their smell, their taste. It's wanting to explore new things together. Noticing the way they react to your touch, and learning the best way to please them. It's wanting to watch them as you make love to them and show them all the things you wish for them to feel. It's closing your eyes and seeing a future together, as one and as two. But knowing it's not always happiness and joy. It's also work. Working to keep stable the ship. It's being in the middle of an all-out scream fest, but still knowing, in the back of your mind, that when you talk to them tomorrow night you're going to be left speechless. Because a fight is only a minute pebble in the midst of your feelings. It's wanting to discuss with them, to be stubborn and sarcastic with each other. Because not only shows you both have differences but this way you learn so much about them. You learn their likes, dislikes, pet peeves, and habits. It's being able to take each other to the verge only to be taken back into a massive hug. It's having to grow into a stronger person, allowing them to break you into pieces only to glue yourself back up, understanding that sometimes that's what they need. For you to just be there and play the punching bag part. It's wanting to be the kind of person that no matter what the other puts you through, at the end of the day, you will always be there standing with a football helmet on their head wanting to work things out. It's feeling completely and utterly unworthy of this kind of love. It's having butterflies and a constant elevated heartbeat with even a single gaze they give you. It's a reality so great that it doesn't feel real and you're just waiting for the moment they break your heart. But it's also so much care. So much that you look into their eyes and you see love. You see the person you'd give your life for. You see the person you'd like to spend the rest of your life with. But between all of this there is an immense difference between 'love' and 'in love'. When you're in love they never leave your mind. They're always there. Mentally and physically, even if sometimes it doesn't seem possible. Like a crazy idea. It's not believing all of the things everyone around tells you about how that kind of love doesn't exist. How things like that just don't work out. It's wanting to prove them wrong. It's wanting to show them that this is the best kind of love and that it just takes time. Time. It's just so incomprehensible. It's seeing them as your one stable force. Even when your life is always changing, they're the one thing that's always there for you. You trust them with your life. To stay with you. Always. They're your one stability in a world full of chaos. Whenever you feel everything crumbling down, they're the ones who pick you back up and help you build up your walls once again. It's taking their pictures through a skype call or saving their conversations, because when you need it the most, it's the one thing that can make you happy in an instant. It's laughing and shaking your head at all the silly things they do or say that just leaves you in awe. It's looking at them as a source of happiness. Someone that no matter what happens, will always bring your hopes and dreams back up. Someone that believe in you and is there to guide you through the darkest paths of life, as a light. And that's something we all need that in our life. It's when you love someone so much that you just can't see the end. It's just an indescribable feeling where at the end of the day you just don't know why you love them, you just do. It's not being able to put exactly into words what you mean to tell, but just knowing them in your head. It's getting your tongue twisted in the process of telling them just how much you love them, and ending up with the most simplest sentence of an 'I love you'. And them knowing exactly what you mean.
As she was on her last thoughts about just how much she loved the other girl, she couldn't help but be scared. Be scared about how much one single person can affect your whole life in just one moment. Affect your life so much that you wouldn't want to have it any other way. And it's terrifying because no one more than her knows that nothing lasts forever. One day you could be feeling at the top of the mountain and you throw yourself to skydive in the air trusting that you'll have a safe journey and you'll have something to rely on when you get down. But it doesn't always work that way. Your parachute can decide to not work the right way and that's when you fall straight on your face, when you hit the floor with nothing to catch you. And it's terrifying how someone can have that kind of control over your life. But in order to live life to its fullest, you have to take that risk of skydiving and not know what the outcome will be. If you'll have a nice enjoyable trip that might have rocky air waves but a good outcome; or you can have a miserable trip where you end up hurting yourself badly and crashing. It's all a risk. You have to make decisions and trust that either if it's a good or bad result, things happens for a way, and either way you'll learn from it. You just have to take it all in and learn to deal with the consequences. And you never know something, if you never try it. So that's what she was doing now, letting her heart out in the open battlefield ready to either fight and be broken or fight and win the prize. No one knows how life works, so with that thought she decided that she would just let life run its course and hope for the best.