A/N: Thank you to the incomparable Deejaymil for the beautiful cover. If you like words, you'll like her words so go check them out!
One Candle:
The Doctor wandered aimlessly through the halls of the TARDIS, hands in his pockets. He had a routine with Rose now: nearly get killed in some alien time or place, make it back to the TARDIS in one piece, wait for Rose to shower, eat and sometimes sleep, then have Rose show up again in the console room and know she's ready for another adventure. Rinse and repeat.
Of course, they spent time together on the TARDIS too. Sometimes when Rose reappeared she would be wearing jammies and carrying a bowl of popcorn. Then the Doctor knew it would be a curling-up-on-the-couch-and-watching-a-movie kind of night and not a land-in-the-middle-of-an-alien-revolution-and-help-overthrow-the-evil-dictatorship kind of night. He loved each kind of night equally and in the past two years they'd done a lot of each. Now he'd found that he could tell what she was going to want to do ahead of time, and in those first moments after returning to the TARDIS he'd look at her and decide: excitement and adventure, or cartoons and cuddles.
Today he felt restless though. After they'd staggered back to the ship a few hours ago covered in a light layer of green goo that was starting to dry (and seriously itch), Rose had just smiled at him, given his hand a squeeze and taken off for her shower. He'd cleaned up, changed his suit and then waited in the console room, sure she'd show up any minute. He'd seen it in her eyes when she had smiled. She'd shined at him the way she did when she was filled with adrenaline and an adventurous spirit. A full hour passed though and she didn't appear. She hadn't seemed tired at all and it hadn't been a full day since she'd last slept. Maybe she'd had more trouble with the green goo than he had...
In the end he hadn't been able to take it anymore and had set off through the TARDIS. His shoes squeaked a little as he scuffed them against the floor. He could tell he was pouting and he didn't like it, but this regeneration seemed to have a bit of a needy streak and was put-out by her disappearing like that. His feet had automatically carried him to the door of her room. Maybe he'd just listen and see if she was in there. The Doctor pressed his ear to the door, shutting out the sounds of his own body, the sounds of the TARDIS humming and focused on finding her single, delicate heartbeat, her soft breathing, maybe her voice, on the phone with her mother, but there was nothing. She wasn't there.
Thinking maybe she'd taken the other route around and was waiting in the console room for him, new jeans on, hair clean and golden, grinning while she waited for him to pick their next destination, he took off with a new bounce. His feet carried him faster this time, no pout, no shuffling. He was so focused on getting where he was headed, he almost didn't hear it.
A little whispered sound floating through the air. A tiny, sweet hum. He stopped abruptly and listened, finding her lonely heartbeat, her gentle breathing and also, her voice. The words to the pop song she was singing barely came through as she half-hummed, half-sang. He didn't recognize it, but her voice was so familiar to him it sounded like he'd heard that song a hundred times before. He often caught her singing, though she never did it when she knew other people were around. When she was very focused, very bored, in the shower, or sometimes when she was very scared, she would sing, sometimes songs he knew, mostly ones he didn't and, occasionally, ones he was sure she was making up as she went along.
He turned towards the sound and followed it to the kitchen. Rose didn't really like to cook, preferring to eat something new and bizarre whenever they journeyed to some new time or place. Mostly the kitchen was where she made popcorn, or tea, or grabbed a granola bar or a banana (they always had lots of bananas). The Doctor leaned silently against the doorknob and watched her back as she shimmied around the kitchen to her own tune. He frowned a little as he thought about Rose being in the kitchen and not the console room. He was so sure he'd seen excitement in her eyes, in her smile. So sure he'd seen her burning for something, for adventure, but here she was obviously getting ready for a quiet night in.
Or not...she wasn't in her pyjamas which was the first thing that puzzled him. Movie night meant pyjamas, for, as she often said, "why on earth would I bother putting on proper clothes if I'm just going to fall asleep in front of the movie anyway?".
And it was true. If anything would instantly knock out Rose Tyler it was putting on a movie. Sometimes he'd just sit there watching her sleep, thinking about humans and how wonderful and fragile and beautiful she was. Sometimes he'd wake her up, as gently as he could and she'd laugh that she'd fallen asleep again, kiss his cheek and wander off to bed. Sometimes he'd scoop her up and carry her to her room, tucking her in and giving her a kiss of his own. She never woke up those times, but sometimes she'd sigh and snuggle down in his arms and he'd take the long way round to her room.
But tonight, tonight she was dressed. One might even say a little up. Her still-damp hair was in a ponytail that bounced back and forth as she rocked. Her usual jeans and hoodie replaced by a white, knee-length, cotton skirt and teal, short-sleeved blouse. And it wasn't popcorn she was making, there was stirring involved and the room was warm and smelled sweet. Leaning forward to catch a glimpse of what she was doing the Doctor's coat shifted and rustled, the small sound enough to snap Rose out of her song.
"Doctor!" she yelled, flying towards him, brandishing a wooden spoon. "Get out!"
"What?" He took a step back, flustered by her sudden distress.
"I said get out!" She gave him a gentle push on his shoulders, guiding him around the door frame and into the hallway. "What did you see? Did you see anything?"
Utterly confused the Doctor stammered pointlessly for a moment, looking into her anxious eyes, searching for a clue. "You're wearing a skirt," he pointed out stupidly.
Finally Rose laughed and he relaxed. "Yes I am. Now, don't come in yet, ok? I was sure you'd wait for me in the console room."
"I did, but then you didn't show up and I got bored." He shrugged, smiling now that she was smiling. The twinkle in her eye promised a secret and he bathed in the way it lit up her whole body. "Why can't I come in?"
Rose watched the Doctor grinning at her, leaning forward on the balls of his feet. He loved surprises, but patience wasn't exactly a virtue he was known for in this regeneration. Or any of them, really.
"You'll just have to wait and see." She smiled smugly at him and turned to go back into the kitchen, but stopped before she disappeared around the doorjamb. "No peeking, no sniffing, no licking anything. I don't want you ruining it. Promise?"
"Promise." He very exaggeratedly stuck his tongue in his mouth, pinched his nose and covered his eyes. She gave him a light slap on the arm, laughing and slipped back into the kitchen. The Doctor let his arms fall down and leaned backwards against the TARDIS wall, his manic grin softened to a warm smile. Rose had a surprise for him. She was like that. He mused back on the past two years he'd spent holding her hand and running next to her and showing her the universe. She was a surprise herself, always up for anything, strong when she was scared, maybe that was when she was even strongest. She'd probably saved him as often as he'd saved her. She'd at least saved him from being alone. Perhaps even more so than anyone else ever had...
He didn't know how long he stood there, eyes closed, head tipped back swimming in the sounds of Rose's humming, mingled with the TARDIS' own song. Maybe the TARDIS was singing along...
Eventually Rose's voice died away and he heard her footsteps come close in front of him, but he didn't move, or open his eyes, waiting to see what she would do. He heard her stop, thinking, and then felt one small, warm hand cover his eyes while the other slipped into his.
"Come with me."
He could feel the smile in her voice and couldn't help smiling himself. "What is it, Rose?" he begged, giving her the pleasure of seeing his excitement, but also truly desperate to know what the surprise was.
She led him to a seat and pushed him down, reaching up with her other hand so each hand covered one eye. He could hear her heart beating a mile a minute as she stood close behind him, her breath near his cheek.
"Ok!" she whispered, pulling her hands away and stepping back to clench them nervously together. "Ta-da!"
It took a moment for his eyes to focus on what was in front of him and when they did he opened his mouth and stared. The table had two plates on it, one in front of him and one at the seat opposite. Each plate had a single, chocolate cupcake sitting on top of it heavily coated in icing, and stuck in the middle of his cupcake was a single, glowing, birthday candle.
"I-umm," he said, not sure what was expected of him, not sure what was going on. He saw Rose move around from behind him to stand next to her chair, fingers wound tight, not meeting his eyes.
"So, uh, yeah, happy birthday!" she said, shrugging a little and giving a little laugh. "I mean, I don't know when your actual birthday is, or if Time Lords even do birthdays cause I know it's pretty easy to lose track of time and what with all the romping around through time and space how do you even have time to have a birthday? And it's just from a mix it's not anything special-"
He tipped his head up towards her and gave her the full force of his million megawatt smile, stopping her rather Doctor-like ramble in its tracks.
"Of course it's special," he almost whispered, looking back down at the cupcakes. "It's the special-est."
Rose laughed at his twisted English and sat down heavily in the seat opposite him, letting out her held breath. For a few moments they just sat, the Doctor staring at the tiny flickering flame and Rose staring at the Doctor, watching his emotions flick across his face.
Finally he looked up at her and smiled. "There's only one candle."
"Well, yeah, cause if I went with how old you really are, I'd burn down the TARDIS and also 'cause, umm, it's been a year you know. A year, today, since I tried to save you and you ended up saving me and everyone else and then became all new you and rude and not ginger and I thought, since you never mentioned when your other birthday was, that this day was as good as any."
The Doctor's eyebrows went up at that. "You kept track?"
Rose nodded. The room fell silent again and the Doctor noticed that at some point the lights in the room had dimmed so the flickering from the single candle danced around creating light and shadows and drawing them both in towards it naturally.
"So what do I do?" His voice dropped to a near whisper, not wanting to break the quiet moment.
"You've never been to a birthday party before?"
"Well, yours that one time, on Earth, with Jackie and everyone. But I wasn't really sure what your traditions were so I just went around like I knew what I was doing."
Rose laughed. "Like you always do."
"Like I always do," the Doctor agreed.
"Well, first you make a wish and then you blow out the candle and then we eat our cupcakes with no remorse over the fact that neither of us has had any dinner. Then we make popcorn and watch a movie and possibly have a second cupcake. I'm sorry I didn't really get you a present or anything. What with the being attacked by giant green goo monsters and such I didn't really get a chance to go shopping. I'll let you pick the movie even though you'll pick something weird and alien." She paused a moment to think. "Or Pink Panther again."
"But it's hilarious! Peter Sellers wasn't originally from Earth you know."
"Don't tell me!"
"It's okay, he was a good guy. Owes me a quid, though." They laughed together, and the Doctor reached for her hands across the table. "This is the best and only birthday present I've ever been given."
"Good." Rose gave his hands a little squeeze. "Go on, make a wish."
The Doctor looked down at the tiny flame, struggling to stay lit. He thought about the soft hands pressed into his and the look he knew he'd see in her eyes if he could bring himself to look up and meet them. It wasn't fair, it wouldn't ever come true, it was selfish and hopeless and pointless, but he sucked in a breath, held on tight to her and wished for forever.
The flame whisked away, caught in his breath, leaving only a trail of smoke behind. Now he looked up to see her eyes still dancing, pleased that he was so clearly pleased.
"What did you wish for?" Rose asked, feeling 8 again.
"I'll tell you if it comes true," he returned, winking goofily at her. She laughed, but saw a flicker of fear or pain, or loss behind his smiling eyes.
Together they ate their cupcakes, talking, laughing, enjoying each others company, something that they did every day, every moment, like breathing, like walking; it was easy.
The Doctor did pick Pink Panther, laughing himself silly through the whole thing. Rose laughed herself silly at him and managed to make it nearly all the way to the credits screen before drifting off, her feet curled up under her, her side pressed against his. For a while the Doctor just let the credits roll, feeling her breathing in and out with the arm he had wrapped around her. He matched her slow pace, willing her to slow down, to stop blasting forward through the short time a human was given, to do the only time trick a Time Lord couldn't do and stop time right here, like this.
Eventually he shifted, remembering something he wanted to do. Rose seemed well asleep so he slipped his arms under her back and legs and lifted her easily off the couch. He took the long way back to her room, but all too soon found himself tucking her under her covers, thankful that she'd changed into her PJs before the movie, saving him having to wake her up when she was sleeping so magnificently. He bent down to kiss her cheek, but her eyes flickered open and she smiled when she realized she had fallen asleep again.
She reached up and wrapped her hand around the back of his head, bringing his forehead down to her lips. "Happy birthday, Doctor," she whispered, kissing him lightly, then closing her eyes again and sinking back into the pillows.
He watched her drift off then slipped out, closing the door softly behind him. The halls of the TARDIS were dim and hushed, filled with her warm, peaceful humming.
"We should celebrate your birthday next, girl." He laughed softly, running his hand along her walls. "That would certainly be a fire hazard. What would you wish for?" He glanced back towards Rose's closed door. "Same thing, huh?"
He walked slowly back towards the kitchen. He wasn't usually one to walk slowly, but there seemed to be no other way to savor the night. He tipped the dishes into the sink wondering if they would be clean come morning. He was pretty sure it was Rose who snuck into his room and took his socks to put them in the laundry, knowing he'd just keep getting a new pair and never washing the old, but he could swear it was the TARDIS that occasionally did the dishes.
Finally, he plucked the small blue birthday candle off the table. Rose had already snatched it up and licked the icing off the bottom while he finished his cupcake, claiming he was taking too long.
The Doctor made his way back to the console room and opened one of the floor panels. He pulled out a small wooden box, opened the lid and tucked the candle inside. He closed it quickly, unwilling to start looking through its contents, surely getting lost in memories, most wrapped up more in sadness and loss than in joy and warmth. Tonight was a night for joy and warmth.
He had seen it in her eyes, once the excitement of the birthday had faded. The restlessness, the adventure coming back. She would be there soon, he was sure, back in the hoodie and jeans. Likely in just a few hours, too excited to sleep anymore, ready to soar off. And all at once the quiet and the peace and the serenity of the evening faded and he could feel that burning starting in him too. He started rattling through his endless knowledge of times and places to pick a new destination where they could free an oppressed people, blow something up, meet someone new, dance in the sky, or just hold hands and run head-on into a new world.
He couldn't wait.
