Hey there! Not sure where this came from, but I thought it was interesting so... I posted it. Enjoy!
One could not and did not interrupt Artemis Fowl when he was making a speech. In fact, the only way to break his spiel was by of his own accord. It rarely happened, but when it did, it meant something astronomical had interrupted, and that the delay was unavoidable.
Take for instance, a moment occurring shortly before the events that led to the eventual insanity of our current subject. Now take in mind that our subject is a teenager, and a rich criminal one of that, so before ridiculing, understand the boy's age, and his rather creative threats.
In a shortened version, it went something like this.
"Therefore, I can conclude th-AT-" Artemis stopped embarrassed, checks growing red and flushed and his body temperature rising as he realized what had just happened.
Holly, feeling rather secure in her precarious place as friend to our criminal mastermind, burst out laughing, tears of mirth running down her cheeks, choking on words. Even Butler allowed a small grimace.
"You-your voice cracked!" She gasped, pointing at Artemis, who very uncharacteristically, was attempting to bury himself alive in his papers.
"I apologize." He said formally.
"That's ok-AY!" She squeaked, imitating his cracking voice as she fell out of her chair.
Artemis nodded to Butler and with a carefully placed kick, Butler had rolled the elf out into the hall, and had shut the door.
"Now. Shall I continue?"
...
"Oh for the love of-"
Holly shook her head urgently, nodding at the three year old in her arms.
"Shut up Foaly. He's only three! Save him some innocence!"
"Mmm. That's cute. You think he was ever innocent. Shall I arrange for flowers to be sent to the funeral?"
Holly narrowed her eyes and shifted the boy until he was hanging off her hip and she had a fist to punch Foaly in the nose with in case he got too out of hand.
"Alright. Alright. How did Artemis get turned into a three year old?" He was already typing away on his computer, making sure to delete the tab containing the romance novel he was reading. He wasn't taking any chances with this Fowl.
Holly lay the boy on a table and sighed. "All I know is that crazy old warlock, B'fnell, somehow perfected his magic enhancement spell. Artemis got in the way, and bam. We have a three year old."
The child in question, was undeniably cute, with no trace of the bitterness and coldness that his teenaged counterpart possessed. In fact, when he woke up, he even smiled at them, flashing tiny pearly whites, and blinking huge blue eyes.
Holly's heart melted.
"NO! Holly don't-" "Can we keep him?"
Foaly sighed and rubbed his nose wearily.
"Sh-" "FOALY!"
Well, there you have it! On a whim, does anyone else think that Artemis would make an adorable toddler?
Also, a big shoutout to Opal Koboi Fowl! Thank you!