Sinner

Summary: The Rocket responsible for Marowak's death feels her spirit haunting him, drawing closer and closer each day...

Rating: T

Notes: Late Halloween fanfic? Perhaps. But I've had this plot bunny for a while.

Disclaimer: I don't own Pokemon; Pokemon owns ME.

Sinner

I...really didn't mean to kill her.

It was a choice to plunge the knife into her shaking form, yes...

...I found myself falling victim to greed. Wouldn't any normal person have done the same?

But because of my actions, I see her still-trembling body in my nightmares every time I close my eyes. For the past year and a half, I haven't had a decent night's sleep. Sure, every so often I would pass out completely from exhaustion, but even then, she haunts me.

The look in her eyes – well, lack thereof – is disturbing, to say the least. Empty, meaningless, lonely...and yet, all at the same time, hungry. The voids widen and pierce my consciousness so deep, I have to check my body's condition when I awaken. I'm always fine, physically, but I can still see her face for days at a time.

All the nightmares end the same: she takes her blood-soaked bone weapon, her mouth crying out a suffering moan, and backs me into a corner. I can't escape, and beg for mercy, but she shakes her cracked head ever-so-slowly.

And then she swings down the club. One bludgeon, and I wake up in a cold sweat.

Her cry always echoes in my ears. It's almost as if she's speaking English...not just saying her name. But...I know she was a normal Marowak; can the spirits of Pokemon really be able to speak our language, and use it to taunt us from the afterlife?

One particular night stands out in my mind. October 30th, I recall – the day before Halloween. Everyone thinks ghosts and goblins rule this holiday, but I've never believed any of it. Hell, I never really believed in myself, let alone otherworldly beings.

That dream was particularly haunting; Marowak's body was decaying in front of me, maggots emerging from cracks in her skull and skin. The flesh was not the lively brown color it once was – instead, it was a sickeningly pale shade, showing no signs of life in it. Her hollow eye sockets were streaming blood, and her expression overall seemed...broken. Not the vengeful creature I had come to know in the dream world, but a hollow soul searching for something.

Her voice was a hoarse plea of sorrow, far from the angry moan she bellowed countless other times.

"When?"

Her Pokemon-English frightened me. It was not like the language I had learned since birth – more like a softly spoken, barely understood accent.

"You!"

After that word was cried, shivers crawled up my spine. I couldn't will myself to respond, and cowered in fear, expecting to be struck once more.

Her 'eyes' narrowed and a reddish glow emitted from the sockets. She raised her crumpled paws and summoned the bones and skulls of other lost Pokemon. I only recognized a couple Pokemon from the remains, but could feel their raw anger as if it were my own.

They hated Team Rocket. They hated me.

And they wanted revenge.

Marowak picked up a bone belonging to a Zubat (I think, anyway) and swung it through the air wildly. Her pained screams rang in my ears like a siren without end.

I emitted a yowl from the deepest part of my throat as she thrust the club onto my head.

My eyes snapped open and I sat up immediately, gasping for air.

Glancing around, I found myself in my own apartment, seemingly safe from harm. Breathing out a sigh of relief, I ran my fingers through my sweat-covered hair.

Damn...

There was no way I was sleeping again that night, so I got out of bed and went to the bathroom. Washing my face with cold water helped me wake up more, and calmed my spooked disposition. Sighing to myself, I glanced in the mirror.

Looking back at me was a terrified Rocket, dreams about a Pokemon he killed haunting his life.

I cursed my weakness and tried to calm myself down.

It had been a year since we swarmed Lavender Tower, as per Giovanni's orders. That day's events still replay in my mind like some videotape on loop.

We busted into the sacred area, ignoring the Channelers' protests, and hunted down every little Cubone scurrying about. Those things rake in tons of cash, I heard from multiple sources.

As I watched my cohorts ransack the place and grab about a dozen of those moneymakers, I worried about being one-upped by them. I scanned the first couple of floors, and found no Cubone. On the fourth floor, however, I finally came across my prize.

It wasn't much, but a single Cubone was shivering in fright by the stairs. At that moment, a seed of greed was planted in my soul, and began to extend its roots.

Yet, before I could even stuff the weak thing into a bag, something hit the back of my head. Spinning around, I saw her. She ran to her child's side, a fierce glare on her face.

A couple of other grunts came to my side, pulling out weapons to use against her.

"Marowak skulls don't matter," one hissed into my ear. "We can kill her."

My heart protested, but the greed had already infested it at that point. I pulled out a pocketknife – an essential for every grunt – and cornered the two Pokemon. The Marowak stood bravely in front of the Cubone; her facial expression displayed only pure love. The depth of that love took me aback momentarily, but I closed in.

It didn't take long for the others to grab and restrain her. All that was left was for me to plunge the weapon in. She struggled, but only began to thrash when another Rocket picked up her baby. She moaned in an almost pleading way, as if begging us to leave him alone.

But of course, the greed clouded my mind, and I plunged the weapon into her. I had never killed anything before, and I can say it was not a pleasant experience. It was almost...painful to watch. I saw the life drain from her eyes, and slowly she grew limp in the Rockets' arms, plummeting to the ground.

The next few events are a complete blur. The Cubone must've gotten out of our grasp somehow, and hit the ground. I heard something crack, I remember, but never figured out what it was. Cubone then dashed away. We followed, but it leapt straight into the arms of some old man.

"Hey! Give us that Cubone!"

"No. Look what you have done, gentlemen."

"That Marowak? Who cares?"

"This Cubone lost its mother. Do you honestly intend to make its life worse?"

"Those things are just cash-cows! They don't matter for anything but money!"

"I'm sorry you feel that way. But I'm afraid I can't stand by and do nothing. You are abusing these Pokemon, and I cannot let you continue."

"Oh yeah? Who are you to stop us, old man?!"

Arms shot out, grabbing the geezer, and dragging him to the top floor. He didn't protest at all, and silently accepted being a hostage. However, something told me he wasn't going to let us control him; he seemed to be more interested in the Marowak's spirit than any threat we posed.

And we locked him there, up in the tower, for weeks. Until, however, some kid broke in and freed him.

But all that was nearly two years ago. Since then, the nightmares have forced me to quit Team Rocket, and I've tried to live a peaceful life alone. I've heard some talk of the organization regrouping, but I'm not about to get involved with that again.

I can still see her face, even after calming myself down. The angry Pokemon corpses don't help to soothe my terror, either. I had never seen them before, so why did they choose now to surface in my consciousness? It wasn't as if I had killed them, as well...

But, wait. Was it possible that Team Rocket was responsible for killing them? How many other grunts like me fell victim to the seed of greed and took an innocent Pokemon's life? How many families and groups of these creatures had we destroyed? All for the sake of money...

I truly regret it. She reminds me of that regret every night. But I would never want anyone to share this fate.

I glance up at the mirror again, expecting to see my own pitiful reflection. However, another image taunts my vision.

She's staring right at me.

But she's not the same corpse of my dreams. Rather, she's a normal Marowak, staring back at me. Her eyes soften and tears start pouring down her face. I freeze, unable to look away, and slowly bring my hand to the mirror.

When I touch her image, the tears turn crimson.

She bellows out angrily and I find myself being thrust backwards, into the wall. Something hits my head and the world starts to spin. Black obscures my vision, and I feel myself fading.

I'm terrified of dreaming, because of her. I hate sleeping, because she's there. Sometimes, I wish this Marowak would just leave me be, or kill me.

But of course, if this continues for much longer, I may have to do the latter myself.

She appears in my unconscious world, floating above any sort of ground. This time, her face seems...tired. Weary. Like she wants to sleep.

"Give up."

I flinch at her garbled words. Give up? Was she encouraging me to end it all? Did she intend to push me to it herself?

Before I can react, I awaken on the bathroom floor. A trickle of blood is running down to the floor, but it is nearly dried by now.

Finally. I figured it out.

Knowing what I have to do, I grab a few things before heading out one last time. I leave my apartment in Celedon City, dragging myself past the gates, through Saffron, and finally to the haunted town.

People I pass stare, but I keep moving. It'll be over soon, anyway.

My feet take me to the newly-erected House of Memories.

As I pass each gravestone, I read the name etched into it in my mind.

Zubat...Rattata...Ekans...Growlithe...Clefairy...

And finally, there it is. In the back row, in the very corner. How appropriate.

Marowak.

I reach out my hand to touch the grave. It's smooth, almost like bone, and made of pure marble. It's hard to believe this Pokemon was once alive and well, until some fool came along and killed it mercilessly.

"That is the resting place of a brave Marowak. Are you interested to hear, young one?"

The old man's voice makes me jump. He's standing beside me, a gentle smile on his face. By his legs, a Cubone stands timidly. There's a crack in the side of his skull.

That geezer...doesn't recognize me? How? Surely he would know the face of the man who killed a Pokemon in cold blood, then ordered him to be held hostage?

"Um...n-no," I whimper softly, feeling my legs shake.

"Are you sure? You seem quite interested in her."

My knees buckle and I fall to the ground, facing the tomb. It's almost as if she's staring straight at me, expecting something.

And finally, I break.

Turning to the old man, I bow until my forehead scrapes the ground. "It was me! I was the Rocket who killed her! I still see her every time I close my eyes, and she haunts my dreams with a forceful vengeance! If she wants to kill me, that's fine, but I wish she would hurry up and do it already! I can't take this torture much longer! If it doesn't end soon, I'll have to do the deed myself!"

Bitter tears fall from my eyes - the eyes of a sinner who can't be redeemed.

"I just need someone to know of this suffering! I deserve every agonizing second of it, yes, but I just can't take it much longer! Someone needs to know - old man, Marowak, Cubone, I don't care! Someone needs to believe me...that I am sorry for murdering her, and I have had time to realize my sins. I'm sorry! I'm...so sorry!"

Reaching into my pocket, I pull out the same knife that I used to kill her. Finally...it can all end! My heart races as I clutch the weapon with both hands and prepare to plunge it into my stomach.

Before I can thrust, however, the knife is sent flying across the room. Glancing up, I notice the old man with his arm outstretched, as if he had just knocked the knife away. Did he really...?

"Why?" I whisper, growing dizzy again.

He kneels down to my level, and shakes his head. "You are much too young to die."

"But..." I plead. "There's...nothing I can do. I can't be rid of these horrors."

"You can't honestly believe that."

"It's true, you geezer!" At that moment, I feel a soft sensation touch my hand. It's...the man's Cubone. His paw's touching me, and his facial expression resembles the sadness of the Marowak.

The old man sighs again and explains, "You do not know my name? I am Mr. Fuji. What is your name, young one?"

It suddenly occurs to me that I have been so tortured for the past year and a half that I have forgotten. "Um..." Memories flash through my mind. "Rocket...um...80-CL..."

"No, young man. That is not your name – that is your number. Are you still affiliated with Team Rocket?"

"Of course not!" I hiss, almost too defensively.

"Then, what is your birth name? The one you gave up for the number formula?"

After a few moments of piercing silence, I find I can't remember. I can barely remember anything before the Lavender Tower incident.

"I...I don't know," I finally squeak out, ashamed of my pitifulness.

Mr. Fuji points to the Pokemon at his feet. "This one has lost his identity, as well. He is the same Cubone, from so long ago. He's grown up a lot, hasn't he?"

My heart thumps with terror and I scramble back. "No...n-no...NO!" I scream with all my might, expecting my vocal chords to be ripped apart and fade out. But I keep gasping for more air, and with every breath the yells get louder.

Cubone dashes over to me, panic in his tiny eyes. He is crying out, latching onto my arms desperately, and shaking his head vigorously.

I stop. Whether it was because of the tears welling in the Pokemon's eyes or my own throat's weakness, I don't know.

Mr. Fuji's hand is suddenly on my shoulder. His face shows nothing but forgiveness and warmth, but why should I accept such kindness? Do I even deserve it?

"It's okay," he assures. "Can you see her, in this little one? She lives in him, and he shows no signs of hating you."

I glance at the Cubone. He's looking at me with such naïve eyes, as if he knows nothing of the world.

"Don't you know?" I ask angrily, my words like venom. "I'm the one. I killed your mother. It's my fault you're an orphan, and that you have to live alone."

Slowly, the Pokemon's skull – the same one I murdered over – shakes back and forth. "Cu. Cubone, bone. Cubone!" He's speaking in Pokemon-tongue, and yet, somehow...I get it.

"You...are not alone?"

Cubone nods enthusiastically. "Cu! Bone!"

"Cubone is never alone. He lives with me, and has made many friends. And every week, we visit this grave together." Fuji explained.

I feel tears forming in my eyes again, and shake them away. "How can you forgive me, Cubone?"

Mr. Fuji smiled. "Do you understand? This Cubone forgave you long ago, because Marowak has always been inside him. I believe she has forgiven you, as well."

"Then...why...did she haunt me for so long?"

"Was she truly haunting you, or were you haunting yourself?"

My eyes widen in shock. Is that...true? Did I...imagine all those things? Did my own guilt create these nightmares and hallucinations?

"But...Cubone, why are you...looking at me with warmth?"

Cubone just stares and smiles. Mr. Fuji speaks up, "They say that when a Pokemon meets its Trainer, there is an unexplainable, warm bond that rests in both hearts."

"No...no way! Cubone can't want to be my partner. I...hurt him so much!"

Cubone simply touches my cheek, stained with tears at this point, and nods slowly.

But when I glance up at the Pokemon, I don't see him. Instead, the ghostly appearance of his mother is standing there. She isn't the demon that tortured me for so many months; she appears to be as kind as her son. Her eyes glitter with warmth, and...relief?

"I told you...to give up on these nightmares," she says slowly. "I wondered when you would finally realize...that wasn't me."

There's a lump in my throat, but I slowly nod. I think I understand now. All those words she spoke to me...was it an effort to save me?

"I'm sorry," I whisper.

"Okay." She touches my cheek again, and smiles. "It's...okay."

After those words, she closes her eyes. Sunlight flickers through the window in the back of the House, and shines off her. It really makes her look...well, like an angel. As if she was alive again, and free. Is that what death does? Maybe...it isn't an ending, but a new beginning.

She slowly fades away, all while with a peaceful look on her face. "I'm leaving...Cubone...to you," she murmurs, and her image breaks into a thousand tiny shards of sunlight.

Cubone approaches me without hesitation, and extends a paw. I take it in my hand, a little unsure. "Would...would you like to be my Pokemon?" I ask cautiously, worrying about its answer.

"Cu! Bone!" It nods happily and nuzzles me. The skull doesn't seem very rough, despite what everyone claims. It's almost soft, like fur. And despite the greedy thoughts I once had about the same skull, I realize that now, I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. Cubone is my partner, and now we both can start over.