A Welcomed Diversion

Disclaimer: I do not, have not, and will, in all probability, never own Naruto (the series and the character inclusive) or any related characters. This fan-work, however, is mine to flaunt shamelessly.

This is rated M for a sexual content. It pretty much starts immediately. This is, for all intents and purposes, a SasuNaru fic. Post-Sasuke retrieval, assuming he will be brought back after gallivanting around the countryside undoing his late brother's work.

Words Normal actions and general narration.

'Words' Thoughts.

"Words" Speech.

Words Flashback.

:Now for the fun:

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A tentative touch; the scrape of calloused fingertips, weathered and worn from grueling training and intense battles, down the sensitive ridge of a defined jaw. Hushed murmurs, heated gazes, muted moans, and the sound of sweating flesh on flesh. And to think it was only supposed to be a bout of sparring.

It had been a year before when Sasuke had returned to the Village Hidden in the Leaves. Then again, he had all but been dragged back into the village by his former teammates, and current team members of Team Kakashi – Haruno Sakura and Uzumaki Naruto. The stubborn boy – now become man, at the age of 20 – Uchiha that he undoubtedly was, should have known better than trust an organization founded on unrealistic, utopist ideals of an arguably insane Leader, governed from the shadows by the most untrustworthy Uchiha Madara. Such a man, however convincing, would never care for any individual's aspirations or ideas other than his own, leading to the monumental dissolution and destruction of all that was the Akatsuki, and the extermination of all that ever was Uchiha Madara.

Sasuke had thought, many times after the collapse of everything he'd allied himself with, to return to Konoha. But somehow – somehow his willing return would signify some sort of failure, to himself, to his elder brother, to all he had done so far. It would have all been in vain, and would reveal his true weakness; no longer was he sure what he was without the aid of Orochimaru or the bitter drive of revenge, however misplaced.

All of the scenarios for his return had been shattered when he was encountered while taking refuge in a small village east of Suna. Four Konoha ANBU had been on their trek back from a mission when they spotted him amongst the bustle of the town's small market. Their masks were standard for ANBU uniform; there had been Ox, Wolf, Fox, and Panther. He had caught the movement of Panther conferring with Fox, and he knew immediately he had been found. All four had been upon him in seconds, and he led them out of the crowd to a secluded spot on the outskirts of the village. Fox was adamant about the others 'staying out of it', and Sasuke immediately knew who it was. That dobe's voice was as annoying as ever, and the symbolism of the Fox was not lost. As Fox, or better, Naruto, readied himself, Panther stepped before him, saying she had a score that needed to be settled, as well as some nonsense about a cold park bench. So Sakura had made ANBU as well? He really should not have been impressed; they had each trained under the members of the legendary Sannin.

A quick battle ensued, a near chakra-depleted Sasuke, even at full power, would have bent to the will of four ANBU elite anyhow. This resulted in a nonstop, two day journey of Sasuke being hauled like a sack of rice on the back of his best friend, through the welcoming gates of Konoha.

He had been tried for his crimes, but due to the lack of circumstantial evidence of attacks toward Konoha, he had been put on a two year probationary period for his bout as a missing-nin, to be watched after by a member of Team Kakashi at any point in time. He would not have been executed anyhow, the Elders had surmised that they needed to keep the Uchiha bloodline in Konoha, and he would only be on probation if he was willing to donate semen to begin the process of his clan's revival with women who were looking to artificial insemination, therefore not making him a, so to speak, unwilling prostitute for his clan. He had also cleared his brother's name, dictating the story of the unfortunate events, out of his brother's control, which had led to the Uchiha Massacre. He had even secured a spot for Itachi's name on the Memorial stone, where he would be properly commemorated for his duties to Konoha.

He had found himself, more often than not, being watched over by Naruto. The job would be passed to Sakura from time to time, but either Naruto was the most enthused to do so, or the others really didn't feel like babysitting. Perhaps a bit of both.

The two had rekindled their friendship swiftly and effortlessly, but there had been a point when that friendship had become something more … solid and deep. They had experimented every now and then with a gentle kiss, or a curious touch, but they had bravely begun to venture farther.

Their relationship had been unknown to the general public, though there was a sneaking suspicion that Sakura knew something, not that she had cared, she had been getting oddly closer to Sai within that period of time. And though their affection had not been seen by public eyes, there had formed a passion and a longing that resurfaced day after day in the bedchambers of either the Uchiha's or Uzumaki's residence, and they knew that it was something to be cherished and protected, that it would be something that they would never be able to recreate with another being.

During the morning hours, the two would find themselves facing off on the old training ground number three, locked in extreme sparring sessions, trading hits and moving opposite of each other in a harmony only two people who had been through all they had could attain. Neither would end up seriously injured, though if they had, they would show up at Sakura's door, now frequently answered by the not-so-emotionally-stunted Sai.

This had been one of those mornings, and, exhausted, they had both settled under the tree Naruto had once been strung upside-down in.

Sasuke had reached over, almost cautiously, to rest his fingers on Naruto's freshly busted bottom lip, smearing the offending remnant of blood off of the swollen lips of his blond lover, leaning over to capture the abused mouth with his own, his right hand entangled itself in untamed blond hair, and his left found its way under the orange and black jacket Naruto had been accustomed to wearing, making soft trails up and down the rippling, tanned abs beneath.

Mouths opened, and tongues battling, Naruto had made quick work of Sasuke's shirt while he moved himself to hover over the blond; strong, sinuous arms placed on either side of the unruly yellow hair. Anxiously, the Kyuubi Container deepened the kiss, marveling at the skill Sasuke held even in a battle of lust. Removing a hand from the ground, Sasuke help Naruto shrug off his growingly obnoxious jacket, tossing it a good measure away.

His attentions were aimed lower, as he began undoing the clasps on the stubborn blonde's pants, holding eye contact as he inched the pants down past his ankles, the boxers going with them as well. Licking his palm, he clasped the Naruto's throbbing member into his left hand, moving his grasp up and down the shaft at a sinfully slow pace, then, in a sudden movement, he bent his head down to meet his tongue with the blonde's tip, his hand still creating slow friction on the shaft.

Before long, Sasuke had the swollen organ completely enveloped in his mouth, tongue and jaws working furiously, with teeth gently scraping up and down the solid length, heated gaze still locked with Naruto's lust filled half-lidded stare.

"Sasuke … I'm almo—," Naruto whimpered under him, trying to drive himself deeper into Sasuke's mouth. That instant, Sasuke released Naruto from his mouth, understanding that it was time for them to get serious; he could feel the painful tightening in his pants, and he understood he would seek release soon as well. Discarding his pants, he ordered Naruto to turn over, and propped him on his elbows. Positioning himself behind him, he gave Naruto a quick grunt of warning, positioned himself before the blonde's recesses, and slowly plunged his relieved organ into him. Naruto was reduced to a whimpering pile as Sasuke slowly pulled out and repeated his actions, gradually picking up speed as Naruto angled himself so that Sasuke could reach his deeper spots, and soon, each thrust had been one of shocking pleasure. At the last moments, Sasuke reached around, furiously pumping Naruto's abandoned member, climaxing together as Naruto spilt in his hand and onto the forest floor, and Sasuke shuddered and released into Naruto's willing body. As they began to come down from their colorful high, they immediately noticed two very familiar chakra signals.

Sakura could only look on in terrified awe, with a hint of curiousity. 'So that's how two men do … that,' she thought to herself.

'How else would you think they'd do it?! You're supposed to be smart?!' Inner Sakura reamed, though Sakura was keen to ignore this, knowing the other unexpected guest was about to say something either stupid or inappropriate.

"They don't even show scenes like that in Icha Icha!" Kakashi laughed out with his signature eye crinkle, making sure to walk away from the scene shortly after to be sure the disturbing-ness of the situation would not catch up with him, little orange book still in hand.

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(( A/N: And that was the end of my very first SasuNaru fic, as well as my first fic for FF. I hope it was enjoyable! I realize that the end was very rushed, while the background information was a bit much; it's just that I had gotten so into it. And, yes, this is the very first draft, just typed up on a whim! If enough people would like, I can go back into everything in depth, and rewrite this as an actual story, with actual chapters, heh. Oneshots never let you know enough, as I see it. Well, that's it for now! Reviews and constructive criticisms are welcomed, but flames will be met with equal or greater fury, heh.

Thanks for reading!

.Nyte.

:Edit: I'd like to thank the following people from the Sexy Crew (Oro-kun, Chou, Shimaki-33, M.S DARK ANGEL, Kilito, Becks, skyglazingMaro, ChishioShakun, and zerofangirl as of now; thanks for the reviews, guize ;'3) Anyhow, back on track; I'd like to thank Shimaki-33, Kilito, skyglazingMaro and ChishioShakun for pointing out a blatant error of mine; previously I had claimed the fic was a NaruSasu fic rather than a SasuNaru one. My apologies for any confusion; my alphabetically-ordered OCD overrides commonsense at times, heh ... Ah, but thanks to you guys again, I have fixed it after beating down and gagging old habits ;'D ))