My flawed design

I felt giddy as the whole trial went on, and when they called me to the stand to ask me about my views on things I couldn't help but giggle. "Mr. Dove, why would you do such a thing? What drove you to this point?" I grinned and said

"When I was a young boy I was honest and I had more self-control.

If I was tempted I would run."

He looked confused, so I said "I used to be a good person, just like every person starts out as, right? A blank sheet of paper that either gets a master piece on it, or some hideous scribble or stain. My parents were so proud of me when they were still alive, I was the smartest in my class; I did as I was told…"

I had everyone's attention now, and another little giggle made its way out.

What an interesting show this was turning out to be!

"Then when I got older I began to lie to get exactly what I wanted, when I wanted it. And I wanted it."

The person raised in eye brow at me and said "so this all started to build before miss Dove died?"

I smirked and replied "someone like myself isn't made in a day, though the process can start in a matter of hours… no, it takes years to hone the skills needed, to think up the perfect plan, to set all the pawns into place… and to find the courage to set it all in motion."

He gave me a disgusted look and said "you do know that what you did was wrong, I hope, because you could have killed so many people."

I was getting bored of this game now. "I know, and I'm truly sorry, but I do have to admit that…"

I paused, and thought about how to word this next part.

"Now I'm having trouble differentiating between what I want and what I need to make me happy."

Yes, that sounds about right. He looked confused, maybe I should clarify?

"So instead of thinking I just act before I have a chance to contemplate the consequence of action."

He stared at me, long and hard, and then sighed. I felt a smile appear on my face and I knew it set the other on edge.

I guess most people don't smile during this.

And I will turn off, and I will shut down. Burying the voice of my conscience hitting ground.

I knew that as soon as the guilt started that the cycle would start all over again, only worse, because it always gets worse every time.

I had learned to shut away those bothersome emotions that made everything so complicated.

I didn't even need that annoying voice that told you what to do, I was handling things fine on my own.

And I will turn off, and I will shut down. The chemicals are restless in my head.

The other glared at me, then walked away.

They had been asking me question after question about what happened, but they never seemed to get the answer they wanted.

Again I laughed as he walked out, leaving only me and a mirror image of someone who I didn't recognize.

I chuckled again, I never really liked mirrors; they were only good for perfecting a mask.

'cuz I lie. Not because I want to, but I seem to need to all the time.

The men here where easy to frustrate, a little lying and they suddenly lose their cool.

It was amusing, and even when I told them the truth I later remembered that I had slipped in a few false details.

maybe I did have a bit of a problem telling the full truth, but it's not like anyone noticed most of the time… thanks to all the poker I play, I've learned how to keep a straight face no matter what, and a smart man never lays all his cards on the table before their time.

Yeah, I lie. And I don't even know it; maybe this is all a part of my flawed design.

I used to be a fantastic journalist! I found out things that most others didn't even suspect.

A little white lie and a little thieving did help.

It was then I learned how to pick a lock and to leave a room exactly the same as I found it.

I suppose this only made my lying trait that much worse, but the owner of the paper always had a front page story to tell, so I'm sure he didn't care.

Maybe I was messed up from the start, but I don't remember it?

Another man walks in, this time with two drinks. One was coffee, the other one hot chocolate. He gave me the hot chocolate and then sat down.

"You said that you learned a lot of what you know when miss Dove was still alive, can you elaborate on that?"

I took a small sip of the drink before pushing it to the side. I'm not sure where it came from, but it tasted like they used dish water to make it.

I sighed and then said "well, I was learning how to put a mask on in front of people. They really are bothersome when they think something is wrong and most are too stupid to take a hint. It started with a little lie to get people to leave me alone, but it soon became something I did all the time…

And ever since I figured out that I could control other people, I've had trouble sleeping with both eyes closed."

I had to stop myself from snickering as I said "isn't it obvious? If I can do such I thing to other people, then what are they planning? Can they really not see past such flimsy lies, or are they planning revenge against me? how can a person sleep knowing that someone close to them could kill them as they sleep?"

a bit of the snickering was making itself known, but I tried to hold on to what little control was left before I lost it all.

"you see, sometimes you slip up, or the act isn't convincing, so you're on shaky ground for a moment… you've lost control, so you say the magic words to give you all the power back… 'I'm sorry

And if I asked permission, if I make sure it's ok, I promise I won't slip up this time, you can trust me.'

And they forgive you, just like that! Even if they have their doubts, those can be washed away once they're in your hands, letting you control how things proceed."

And now I was laughing, it hurt my sides and tears where starting to roll down my face, but for some reason the reaction this guy was having was the funniest thing in the world.

After I settled down I locked eyes with the man, and said "some people have found out things I didn't want them to before, but they still trust me, like as if the information brings us closer and they can… relate… somehow."

I scoffed.

"But never take advice from someone who just admitted to being devious, who just confessed to treason.

Because that would be your down fall. I've ruined a few people's lives because they wouldn't play by my rules… they didn't understand that I was the one who knew everything, and they were the puppets… or perhaps the pawns, depending on their use and my needs."

The man looked upset, he had his face in his hands, and he looked very tense… it was all so amusing.

I would give him a break, but he tried giving me that foul tasting stuff before.

"And I would also never ask a question that I cannot ask myself, for it might dirty up your conscience."

He looked up at me, and asked "what do you mean by that?"

I snickered again and said "if you want your dreams to stay nice and serene, I'd suggest you not ask that again."

His face was pale, and he excused himself. He took both the cups with him; I hope he would take the time to get a proper tasting drink.

Oh well, maybe the entertainment needed a break.

'cuz I lie. Not because I want to, but I seem to need to all the time.

I had to wait for a long time before another person walked in.

This one had paper, crayons, and some bottled water with them.

They put it all on the table, than sat down.

"hello." He said in a… I suppose most people would call it soothing, voice.

I stared at the man blankly, because I knew who he was and why he was here.

He was here to see if I was sane.

"You don't expect me to draw, do you?" I asked, for once being serious and keeping a straight face.

The man frowned a bit, but soon his façade was back. "I was hoping you'd draw a few things for me, yes."

I looked away, at the bottle of water on the table.

He smiled and pushed one toward me, saying "I heard about the drink before, I figured you'd be thirsty."

I pulled the bottle toward me a little, and looked at it. I slowly opened it and took a few sips. It seems fine.

Yeah I lie. And I don't even know it, maybe this is all a part of my-

He pushed some of the paper and a crayon toward me, saying. "Would you please draw something for me?"

I sighed, until an idea hit me… I pulled the two things closer and then I began writing, and then drew a few pictures to go along with it.

I pushed it back over to the man, who at first looked happy, then confused as he said "this is a puzzle."

I nodded and said "if you're such a bright man, then you should be able to solve this."

He pushed the paper away and said "we're not here to play mind games, Clive."

I smirked. "But isn't that why you're here? To play mind games and find out what's going on in mine?"

The man looked a bit irritated for a moment before he said "Clive, you're smart, so you should know that this isn't going to help you."

I leaned back in my chair and said "what do you mean? I was only stating facts."

The man sighed and said "we only want to help you."

I glared at him "everyone who I ever cared about and whoever cared about me is dead!"

He looked tired; he had no right to look like that. "That's not true Clive, and you know it."

And how can you say those things, why can't you just believe?

"I saw them all die. I might not have been right next to them when it happened, but trust me, they're all dead and buried by now."

"What about the professor everyone is talking about? I thought he was going to visit you?"

And how can you say those things and keep a straight face?

I gave a hollow laugh and said "That man would have left me to die! He's only here out of remorse and a stupid idea that his dead fiancé would have wanted it! The man doesn't truly care about me, he's only thinking of himself."

The man tsked a few times, and then said "Clive, you've got to stop pushing people away like this. You'll only end up hurting yourself even more if this continues."

And how can you say those things, why can we just believe?

My gaze was sharp as I said "and you as well, going on with this false worry for my wellbeing. We both know you're only here because you're being paid, so don't act like it's for any other reason."

The man looked serious as he said "I became a physiatrist because I want to help people like you. So trust me, I am worried for you."

Everything about him said otherwise.

And how can you say those things and keep a straight face?

I didn't care about this man.

He wasn't entertaining and he kept lying to me, even when I told him I knew he was.

So I stopped answering.

I didn't want to deal with this man anymore, I was tired and hungry and I wanted to go to bed.

And I will turn off, and I will shut down, burying the voice of my conscience hitting ground.

The man keeps trying to get me to respond to him, but I've pretty much shut down everything.

He can't use my emotions to get me to talk, he can't use facts, or puzzles, or anything because I don't want to talk to him!

Thankfully he had to go soon, and I was pushed into a holding cell and given some food.

I ate what seemed eatable, then I tried to go to sleep, but my mind was racing.

And I will turn off, and I will shut down. The chemicals are restless in my head.

I couldn't stop all the thoughts, the memories playing in my head, over and over again, leaving me feeling cold, numb, and empty.

I was curled up on the bed, holding my head in my hands as a head ache was forming.

'cuz I lie. Not because I want to, but I seem to need to all the time.

My pillows wet now, because without my knowing it, tears began to run down my face.

I had ended up laughing, cold, cruel, and lifeless because of it.

Yeah I lie. And I don't even know it maybe this is all a part of my-

I forced myself to sleep, only to wake an hour later because of nightmares, just blurs in my memory now.

I knew people had begged me to save them as I stood by, doing nothing, and another person who slowly faded away, all the time begging me to help, and a another who vanished into light.

They all needed me, but I let them die…

'cuz I lie. And if I could control it, maybe I could leave it all behind.

The next morning they were deciding what to do with me; they had been doing this for a few hours now.

I was getting bored; no one was around to entertain me… I sighed.

I had thought things were going so well, too, but they said I needed to be as far away from people as I could be, and that I needed help.

They sent me to an asylum, in a strait jacket, and left me in a white, padded room.

I was losing it in here, or, whatever was left.

No one visited me, so I guess the professor didn't care after all, and I hardly interacted with others.

I started laughing, maybe this was ok…

Yeah I lie. And I don't even know it; maybe this is all a part of my flawed design.

They were probably right that I was messed up, they were going to fix that… they said they were.

I closed my eyes and let myself drift off to sleep… tomorrow would be better.

I know it.

Three years later professor Layton's P.O.V

I was shocked at the sight before me.

They had released Clive today, so I came to pick him up, being the only one they could call.

The person before me was not the same man from three years ago. His eyes were dull, and his skin pale.

He seemed like a zombie. "Poor child… what have they done to you?"

The end

A.N. I wrote this years ago, back when the game was new and I had just compleated it. I couldn't help but love Clive, because, unlike any other villain, he was a charater we got to see a lot of and come to concider an ally.

of course, now there is absolutly no mention of him, which is expected, honestly.

I just thought it would be nice to share my own insite into this charater's mentality and perhaps what happened after the game was said and done, all wrapped up in a nice little song-fic.

oh, and for those of you wondering, the song is "flawed desing: by stabilo".

hope you enjoyed!

P.S. if anyone notice or even caught that it changed settings from a court room to interagation, it's because I think, after being aressted, Clive had a breakdown and has been having a little bit of trouble keeping time stright, ironically enough...