It's been a while since Renji, Matsumoto, Yumichika, Hitsugaya, and Madarame had left Soul Society in pursuit of the Arrancars led by the traitor Aizen and his two comrades, Ichimaru and Kaname. They've been living in the human world separately – Renji joining to stay over at Urahara's shop, Hitsugaya and Matsumoto staying over at Orihime's house, then there's Yumichika and Madarame living together at Keigo's house (lucky for Renji – he always heard their complaints about living in that house, something to do with Madarame becoming a model for girls' T-shirts). But Renji didn't feel at all fortunate enough to live at Urahara's shop. No, it's not that he hasn't his own space for living – at least the ex-Captain was courteous enough to allow him a spacious room. It's not about the people living together under one roof, either – well, they may drive him off the wall at times, but on the whole they're okay, leaving him when he wants to be alone and inviting him during meal times or when there's something up. But still, he couldn't shake the feeling which had clung on to his heart like a heavy necklace ever since they stepped out of Soul Society.
Renji's actually missing home. Darn and twisted and corrupted as it is, it is the only place where he had felt like home. All the good food, some of the people who're friendly to him, the daily routine which he becomes accustomed to…it's all homely to him. When he left that all behind…well, he couldn't help feeling as if his heart's been plummeted or pressed on or something. The Malays sure had an appropriate saying to describe it: Hujan batu di negeri sendiri, hujan emas di negeri orang, lebih baik di negeri sendiri (Rock-like rainfall at one's own country, golden showers at a foreign country, yet it is better to live at one's own country). He sighed as his mind reflected upon it. Oh, my city my town…a short lyric he remembered from a Scorpions' song. He really missed Soul Society.
"Hi, Renji," a meek voice called out from behind him. It was night, and Renji was lying on the grass in a football field not far from Ichigo's house. As perilous times of late is, Renji had the feeling that he'll be alright for tonight – they (the whole group of those coming from Soul Society including Rukia, Ichigo, Chad, Uryuu and Orihime) have apprehended and confronted D-Roy the other day at the park near the cemetery; what with the battle they managed to put up with the guy, they don't think that the retaliating Arrancars are up to anything anytime soon. Renji smirked upon remembering that bulging bruise his Zanpakuto had inflicted on the Arrancar's bum…Hah! He then sat up and smiled at the tall, gaunt man with oriental skin and dark brown eyes, the man whom he's become familiarized with for the past few weeks: Ramadhan Mubarak, the exchange student from Malaysia who's currently studying at Karakura High. Ramadhan smiled back as he adjusted his glasses, and then ran his fingers through his out-of-bed black hair.
"Hey, Ramadhan!" Renji greeted. "Whatcha up to?"
"Oh, just this," Ramadhan said as he held up a plastic bag. It was filled with rice dumplings, a tuna sandwich and a bottle of milk, 1 litre. Renji then remembered that he left home (Urahara's place, assumably) without dinner, and put his best smile on. "Can I join you for tonight, plllleeeeaaase?"
"This is supposed to be for my sahur," Ramadhan said with a straight face. "But it's okay," he then quickly said with a grin. He then sat down next to Renji and opened up the plastic bag for him. Renji quickly dived in and took out the rice dumplings, then examined them under the streetlight.
"Man, these rice-makers are really talented these days," Renji said as he read the printed words on the label. "This one comes with a cheesy flavour, while this –" he lifted up the other one he held in the other hand, "Has a chocolaty taste. Oh well, beggars can't be choosers." He tore open the one with the cheese inside, then took it out and began stuffing it into his mouth. Ramadhan, meanwhile, was about to help himself to the tuna sandwich when he noticed that there's something else embedded amongst the tuna filling. He examined closely, and when he saw that they're pieces of pink meat, he made a face and handed it gingerly to Renji. "Hey, you like sandwich?"
"Um-hmph!" Renji replied with a full mouth as he accepted the sandwich. He gulped down the food in his mouth, then asked, "What's wrong? Isn't it tasty?"
"Nah, it's just that there's pork in it," Ramadhan said.
"What's wrong? You allergic to it?"
"Not really – I'm forbidden to eat it."
"How come?"
"Well, let me see how to explain this," Ramadhan said as he placed his chin on his hands. "Well, I'm Muslim, you see –"
"Muslim, what's that?"
"It's what you call those who're embracing the Islamic faith," Ramadhan said. "Islam is a religion, a way of life. And in Islam, it has been stated in our Holy Book of Guidance, the Qur'an, that we Muslims are forbidden to eat pork, and not allowed to touch pork or pigs or anything associated to them. So, that's about it."
"Why are you forbidden to do so?" Renji asked as he looked suspiciously at the sandwich in his hand.
"Because it is unhygienic, and proven indeed through research and study," Ramadhan continued. "Well, that's all there is to it, I just can't eat the sandwich, case closed."
"Um, if it's okay to you, I don't feel like eating it, too," Renji mumbled. Ramadhan laughed upon hearing it, and it was one of the reason why Renji loved being around the Malaysian, his laughter was warm and genial. "Well, is there anyone in your home who might eat it?" Renji gave it a thought, and knew that the three working for Urahara might just want it, so he nodded. "Then give it to them; it's no point leaving it as a waste since it's fresh from the bakery store." Ramadhan also, as Renji had noted, was not one to leave anything wasted, and was not one who spends on unnecessary things. But his weakness was whenever they passed by the music store – he often went in and either bought new Scorpions CDs or Scorpions merchandises like posters, keychains, watches, stickers, anything about them. Renji once heard them too, when Ramadhan let them hear their songs on the MP3 player using the headphones, and Renji himself privately thought that they're cool. He since tried to listen to tracks "Humanity", "Rock You Like A Hurricane" and "As Soon As The Good Times Roll" whenever Ramadhan brought him MP3 with him.
Renji drank the milk straight from the bottle, then placed it down and wiping his mouth as he watched Ramadhan nibbling on a rice dumpling, curry-flavoured. Renji then asked, "Ramadhan?"
"Yes?" he replied as he stopped nibbling.
"You mentioned something just now…it sounds like…sa..sa…sahoo?" Renji asked as he scratched his head.
"Oh, sahur," Ramadhan said as he chuckled. "Yes, why?"
"Well, what is it?" he asked.
"Sahur is a term used when we Muslims wake up very early in the morning and eat just before Subuh comes in – that's the morning prayer. Sahur is only when you're fasting for the day."
"You mean you starve yourself today?" Renji asked, a bit surprised. Ramadhan simply nodded. "But…you just ate just now!"
"Oh, when we fast, it's only from early dawn till shortly after sunset," Ramadhan explained. "So no need to worry; I've broken my fast already."
"Oh, I see," Renji said. Back in Soul Society, if the people are fasting, they often didn't eat anything for days until they were sure they're going to die of hunger, then ate. It was more of a way to save up for food supply than for religion reasons, and when he was small and used to live in Rukongai, he often, uh, cheated the others fasting in the house by sneaking outside and stealing a bit of food from the food stalls, thus earning his popularity with the local food sellers. Oh, well.
"Is there any reason why you're fasting today?" Renji said. "It seems a bit uncalled for."
"Oh, but I've been fasting since the 13th last month," Ramadhan said. "I've been fasting for twenty days."
"TWENTY?!" Renji almost barked. "B-But…" he was about to say something suggesting otherwise when he recalled the times when he asked Ramadhan to join him for meals during recess – Ramadhan had always gently turned them down. "Why?" he asked with disbelief. If it is about out of money, I can lend him some of mine, he thought.
"Because it's the fasting month for Muslims worldwide," Ramadhan replied. "It's the holy month of Ramadhan."
"Huh?" Renji said. When he ran over the words in his head, he said with his face lit up, "Oh, so your namesake is from the name of this month, is it? Ramadhan?"
"Exactly," Ramadhan said, his smile genuine and wide. "The holy fasting month is marked using the Hijriyah calendar, the Muslims way of counting the days dated back when the Prophet Rasulullah s.a.w. left Mecca and went to Medina. It has since then been used to count for the days in doing any religious events of Muslims. And the fasting month is called 'Ramadhan al-Mubarak'. My father's name is Mubarak, and when I was born 15 years ago, it was the first day of the fasting month already. That's how I got my name."
"Neat," Renji said with a grin. Ramadhan only smiled wider, and that had planted a feeling of belonging and reassurance inside Renji. It was times like these which lessened Renji's longing for home: being around with people like Ramadhan, hanging out and fighting either with Rukia or Ichigo (more of the latter than the former), going to relaxing places where he can just look up and see miles of stars on the night sky, such and such. The breeze blowing gently that night was warm, and there's a feeling of contentment filling his heart.
"There's ten days left for Raya," Ramadhan remarked.
"Hmm? Now what's that?" Renji asked.
"After thirty days are up, the month coming next after Ramadhan is called Syawal. The first of Syawal is a day of celebrating the Muslims success in fasting for one whole month. The day is named as Aidulfitri, and on this day, Muslims are to perform the Aidulfitri prayers slightly after the sun is up at the mosque, then we meet up each other and ask for each other's forgiveness over past mistakes. It is a day of celebrating, forgiving and joy. Back in my home country, we call it Hari Raya Aidilfitri, and we celebrate it a little differently – there's lavish, delicious food served at homes, and we would go and visit each other, just eating and catching up on things." Ramadhan then sighed. "I'm afraid I can't go back and celebrate Raya with my mom this year."
"Why not?" Renji asked.
"The school's policy when I came in," Ramadhan said. "I'm joining this exchange programme for one year. They will not allow me to go out of Japan for the first six months. It's only after six months then I can go visit Malaysia for a few days, so it's fine by me really."
"But that sucks," Renji remarked disdainfully.
"Yeah, I know," Ramadhan said with a smile. "Still, no use complaining. The rules are the rules. And I've been expecting that since I join in this programme."
"Why are you eager to leave home to study abroad?" Renji asked. "You said you only live with your mom and she's all you have. Where's your dad?"
Ramadhan's smile seemed to flicker for a moment, revealing that of great sadness, but he stayed calm and replied, "Well, my dad's been dead for years. Died during his service with the National Army."
Renji looked shocked. "Ramadhan, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to –"
"Nah, it's okay," Ramadhan said. "Really."
Renji relaxed a little. It struck him there and then that Ramadhan always seemed calm and resolute that he failed to notice anything sad or angry about him. It occurred to him that everybody has problems, and Ramadhan was no exception. He wished he hadn't intruded on things like that; Ramadhan will tell him if he wants to in the future when he's feeling ready. He noted to himself not to let words slip from him easily next time.
"Well, at least I have good friends here," Ramadhan said. "You and a few others."
"Including Ichigo?" Renji snickered. Ramadhan turned to him in a serious look and said, "Oh, yes. He's basically a little stern on the outside –" (Stern? You are too kind with your words, Ramadhan, Renji thought with a laugh) " –But all in all, he is okay. He's the one who showed me around on my first day at Karakura City. He also helped me get familiarized with the school's environment, and made sure that nobody is bullying me."
"Uh-huh," Renji said.
"And then I'm going back to see her after six months, so it's alright," Ramadhan said. "Plus, what with the Internet and all that, I can see her online via webcam, and she had just e-mailed me a few Raya songs, all my favourites. I've downloaded them and have them saved here, in my MP3." Ramadhan then took out his treasured MP3 player from the inside pocket of his jacket, turned it on, then passed the headphones over to Renji. "Here, try this song." Renji obeyed wordlessly, putting the headphone over his head and making sure that the soft black pads covered his ears completely, then heard a guitar gently making its sound.
Somehow, the song was reminding him of the 60s – it was because of all that advertisement on TV. But the song struck deeply into his heart. The melody's unforgettable, and the song sounded sad and melancholic. The words were foreign to his ears, and yet he felt as if the song seemed to picture everything he felt.
Di hari raya
Terkenang daku kepada si dia
Kampungku indah nun jauh di sana
Ayah serta bondaku
Di tepian mandi
Danauku hijau yang aman damai selalu
Nun di sanalah tempat aku bertemu
Aku dan dia
Apakan daya
Masa tak akan kembali
Hancur musnahlah semuanya
Impian yang murni
Tinggal menjadi kenang-kenanganku
Hanya rangkaian kata dan lagu
Dendang perantau
When the song finished, Renji was silent for a few seconds, the song already washing in his mind. He then gingerly took off the headphones, gave it back to Ramadhan, and asked, "That was really deep. What is it about?"
Ramadhan chuckled. "The song is about a guy who left his home where his parents and his lover. He remembers them during Raya, but he couldn't do anything about it as he could not return for the celebrated day. Only the song becomes something he hung on to as a sign of him remembering them."
Renji then thought that the song really did reflect exactly what he was feeling, alright. "What's the title of this song?"
"It's Dendang Perantau," Ramadhan replied. "The singer is P. Ramlee."
"Oh, I've heard of him," Renji said. "During history class, something about artists in Asia who's made it big in the worldwide music scene. Not many people really remembered him, but his movies and songs were respected as great contributions."
"Yeah," Ramadhan said. They both fell silent after that, each in his own thoughts. Then Ramadhan spoke, "Say, Renji?"
"Yeah?"
"In case if anything happens to me," he began hesitantly. "I…I want you to have my MP3 player. If it's alright with you."
"Sure," Renji replied, feeling a little confused. "Why are you saying that?"
"Oh, it's nothing," Ramadhan replied calmly. "It's just that if it does happen, I want you to have it. All Scorpions songs in here, and there's a few of these Raya songs, and there's still 2 gigabytes left so you can download about 250 songs into here." He then surprisingly passed the whole thing over to Renji, the player and the headphones. "Here. You want to borrow it?"
"Really?" Renji said excitedly. He always waited for Ramadhan to bring it along whenever he wanted to hear Scorpions' songs, now he can hear them whenever he likes and block out the noises of the loud quarrels back at Urahara's shop. "Man, I really owe you for this one. Thanks!" He kept the MP3 player into his black leather jacket.
"Well, I better get going," Ramadhan said as he slowly got up, the signal that they're meeting is over. "Gotta rise up early for Sahur tomorrow." Renji began to feel a little sad to see his friend go. "Hey, can't you stay here a little longer?" Renji asked.
"Wish I could, but I still haven't worked to completion over today's Math," Ramadhan said. "You know what'll happen."
"Yeah, that old geezer teaching Math is really a pain in the you-know-where," Renji agreed, remembering the balding man whom he heartily disliked. "Alright, see you tomorrow, Ramadhan."
"Tomorrow, Renji," Ramadhan agreed, then waved at his friend before running off. And then…
And then…
And then…
It all came so fast. Renji only spotted a flicker of movement darting from the side before the crimson spatter a few metres in front of him reached his face and splashed him all over. He saw Ramadhan flying, his head at a distorted angle and blood spraying out of somewhere at his neck like geyser.
No, no, NOOOO!
Renji ran towards him, not even hearing the words that came out of his mouth. He was aware that he was screaming Ramadhan's name, but he himself couldn't hear them. All there was in his mind was Ramadhan. Ramadhan and he had to get to him and save him.
"Ramadhan?" Renji asked in a rushed voice as he looked at his friend's face. His head was on his lap, and his breaths were short and quick, its pace slowing with each passing minute. "Damnit, talk to me!" Renji thundered, hoping that his voice's loudness is enough to keep him alive through.
"A-Abarai R-Renji…" Ramadhan said as he looked straight into Renji's eyes, and Renji saw the life dying out in him. "Ashadu alla illa ha illallah…"
Those were the only words that left Ramadhan's lips. The dark brown pupils then became dilated, and the spark of enthusiastic with life which Renji often saw in Ramadhan slowly died out from them. His breathing soon became muted, and his chest was not heaving anymore. It took a few seconds for Renji to register it all in…he was just sitting next to Ramadhan talking about Raya and things…and next…this…
"Ramadhan?" Renji whispered. He then grabbed the shoulders and began shaking the lifeless man violently, anything to make him come back. But it didn't, and death was a thing irreversible, delayed not for a second longer or quicker.
"RAMADHAN!!" Renji howled as he hugged the Malaysian close to him. Tears flowed down his cheeks freely, but to hell with it. "AAAAAHHHHHH!!"
The whole class were at the airport that day, watching the plane which will be carrying Ramadhan's corpse to Malaysia. This could be considered as a funeral for Ramadhan here – he will be buried there as decided, and neither any were sure whether they should leave for Malaysia, it was such a foreign place to them. So they only accompanied the corpse from the Karakura Morgue till the airport. As the plane lifted off the ground and reached for the skies, the others, clad in black, looked up to see the plane leaving. Renji and the others in his group, who were also at present to watch him leave, did the same. Renji had come to say farewell for the last time to his friend, whom although he had just got to know for a short time, had brought a lot of meaning to his life. His eyes were puffed and red sore. He had cried the last time when he realized how much he loved Rukia late during the night in bed, now he was crying over the loss of one friend who didn't deserve to die for his mistake. Only remorse and regret filled his heart.
It was the work of D-Roy. Obviously, he had wanted to get even with Renji's group for the beat-up the other day, and had taken his murderous revenge on Ramadhan, who was unsuspecting of anything. Renji wondered what will Ramadhan's response be if he knew whom he is exactly – he had the inkling that Ramadhan will just accept him as he was, but now he'll never find out for sure.
Renji closed his eyes as he remembered the words D-Roy had said on that night.
"Hah! Mourning over a useless, pitiful soul! You Shinigamis are too soft and weak!" D-Roy retorted as he did a stupid dance of joy, obviously overjoyed to see the effect his doing had on Renji.
"I-I'll k-kill y-you…" Renji whispered through gritted teeth, looking up upon the Arrancar with a look of fierce and determination and avenge so intense together that made D-Roy noticed him and stopped dead in tracks.
"I'll be seeing you again, Shinigami, when you're in a better mood!" D-Roy said as he ran his finger in the air and conjured another of those black space which led to the Hollow's world, then vanished from view. Renji didn't bother going after him. He only sat there and cried for all his worth over Ramadhan, to make this dreadful feeling go away.
"Renji!" a voice called out. Ichigo's. Renji sensed the sound of incoming footsteps on the pavement, then saw the shadows formed on the ground. Ichigo had come with the others…they must have sensed the Arrancar's presence just now. How, Renji did not know. He only cared for what's here and now.
"No!" Ichigo exclaimed when he saw the dead body lying on Renji's lap. Ramadhan.
"Renji," a voice called his name gently. He opened his eyes and soon met with Rukia's. "Are you…feeling okay?"
Renji wasn't sure what to answer. He looked up at the sky, his eyes fixed on the spot where the plane had disappeared from view. The day was sunny and warm, and yet there's the presence of gentle rainfall. Then suddenly he heard the words echoing in his mind, uttered by the man whom he felt this heavy loss impounding on him.
"No matter what you do, always keep it under your hat!"
"How am I feeling today? Marvellous!"
"Come on, why the long face? Cheer up; it'll turn out okay soon."
"It's Dendang Perantau. The singer is P. Ramlee."
Then, the song once again reverberated in his mind, louder and clearer this time. Renji then realized that never again will Ramadhan celebrate the holy fasting month or the celebrated first day of Syawal, and felt sad. He also felt sad for the woman who was waiting for her son's body back in Malaysia, and let out a heavy sigh. But life is life – it must be carried on by those still living. And knowing Ramadhan the way he was, he would have driven him up the wall with the string of wise-words suggesting him to stop dawdling over something and get over it.
"I'm…feeling marvellous, Rukia," Renji said as he forced himself to smile at the woman whom he still love till today, harboured secretly inside. Strangely, it had worked. He felt his spirits lifted a little.
I know you don't like senseless violence and vengeance, Ramadhan, Renji fiercely thought as they walked home after that. But forgive me, I must. For your death mustn't go unopened, and I will make sure that he will pay the price. I promise. Only him. Then I will leave things at peace.
Somehow, Renji felt better after that. And he now vows to find D-Roy and make him atone for his crime.
Author's Note: I did this out of boredom at the hospital. It's midnight but no patient so far, so what else can I do to pass the time and make sure I don't fall asleep? Ramadhan is my own self-made character (and so is the Math teacher, I'm sure), while the other characters are the mangaka's. Sorry if it's a little different from the real storyline (did D-Roy die and how did he) - Bleach here only reaches until Episode 30, something like that. So don't flame me, alright?