Disclaimer: my licence fee merely pays for the BBC so nothing here is mine.
N/A: perhaps I should point out that Blue Peter is a magazine programme for children on the BBC that has been going for 60 years.
N/A2: written and posted to wish Serenity's Lady a very happy birthday! You never know, I might manage to post you the other thing I promised…
Birthday Wishes
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"This is Hank Cortez standing in for your usual host on Radio LA. Today in our London studio, we have Doctor and Donna Noble. Hello and welcome to the show."
"Thank you very much for having us," the Doctor returned the greeting.
"Yes, it's great to be here," Donna added.
"As visitors recently to the US you must notice quite a few things different compared to home."
The word 'home' caught the Doctor off-guard. "Well…." He looked stricken.
"It isn't much different," Donna hastily put it, giving his hand a surreptitious comforting squeeze. "Just like normal, really; but with warmer weather. We loved our time in California."
"Apart from the walking man-eating road signs," the Doctor noted.
Donna continued, "And all the death, obviously."
The DJ nodded. "Fortunately, you dealt with all that and kindly agreed to come to see us to talk about a couple of things."
"What was it you needed to get us to do?" the Doctor cautiously asked.
"Today is not only Christmas Day," Hank began, "but a very special listener's birthday. And her birthday wish is that we do this…"
There was the noise of some scuffling, after a chair being moved out of the way.
She leaned towards the Doctor. "Is that mistletoe?" asked Donna in disbelief.
"Of course, it is mistletoe, Donna," he answered.
"Yes," she partially decided, "but it could be some alien marauding mistletoe that we have to neutralise."
"It could have been the case," he agreed. "That is common all garden mistletoe, as depicted in ancient times as part of the pagan festivities."
"You say that as though I didn't know that," she complained. "I watched 'Blue Peter' as a child, you know!"
"So did Susan," he quietly replied. "Anyway. I apologise for assuming you were ignorant."
"Thank you."
Hank glared meaningfully at them. "Sorry to interrupt your argument, but I can't stand here all day with this twig in the air."
"Which brings us neatly to the question of: why are you doing that?" the Doctor pondered.
"Our birthday girl, Serenity's Lady, wants you two to kiss under the mistletoe for our webcam over there." Hank then pointed at the website camera and gave a little wave.
The Doctor looked instantly stricken. "What!"
"It would make her day," the DJ tried to cajole him.
"It would make me sick," Donna mumbled.
"Surely not," the Doctor grouched on hearing her. "Am I that unkissable?"
"Erm. I suppose not," she conceded.
The DJ gestured at them to get on with it.
"Oh, come here," she blustered, and grabbed the Doctor by his jacket lapels; placing a smacker upon his lips. "Will that do?"
As Hank the DJ went to say "Yes," the Doctor countered, "That was no better than the detox."
"If you think you can do better, go ahead," she challenged him.
In answer, he adjusted his collar and then reached out to cradle her face within his palms. "It should be more like this," he murmured and gently pressed their lips together.
"Listeners, the kiss has landed," the DJ announced. "Quite a good kiss, by the looks of things," he went on with his running commentary. "Really satisfying. Yes, that is certainly a kiss. Heartfelt, one might say. Or perhaps a trifle romantic, as long kisses go." He then politely coughed. "That's enough. You can stop now. This programme will be going out just before Christmas lunch to a family audience," he warned.
"Did you not want us to properly kiss?" the Doctor cheekily wondered. "You should have given us clearer instructions."
"Yeah," Donna faintly whispered, still a little bit dazed. "A kiss."
"If we're finished here, we'll get going," the Doctor stated, grabbing hold of Donna's hand to make her stand up with him. "Places to go, despots to overturn, and blights to alleviate."
"And kisses to finish?" the DJ suggested.
The Doctor winked. "That would be telling. Only Serenity's Lady will ever know the full extent of… Humphf!" he gasped as Donna whacked him in the stomach with the back of her hand. "Ah yes. Cheerio then. May you all have a brilliant Christmas."
"It's already started well," Donna quietly added.
"Happy Christmas, to you both." Hank then smirked to himself as his guests disappeared out the door. "Hope you liked that, folks," he said into his microphone.