Elena

I ran the night's events over in my head, Bonnie sleeping beside me, tear tracks still marked on her face.

Bonnie. She was so scared and confused, but she had already started to recover. She fell asleep from exhaustion in the end, as normal tiredness could not have overcome her alert and questioning mind.

"Please don't go"

But he left.

"Don't walk away Stefan"

But he walked away.

The pain I felt as I remembered his retreating figure was overwhelming and I couldn't suppress the silent tears that now ran down my face. I shook my head slightly as if I could shake away the memory, but I couldn't.

I was annoyed at myself for letting my thoughts fly back to Stefan. I needed to get over this, get over him. I had told him that I could be with him, but what if I was wrong? This is for the best...well at least that is what I keep trying to convince myself.

I knew this wasn't right because if Stefan leaving was truly for the best, my heart wouldn't stop when I thought of the way his eyes had glistened tonight. He was sad to leave me there. I was past sad to be left.

If Stefan leaving was for the best then I wouldn't be in the bathroom now, calling him.

I didn't really think he would pick up, he seemed so sure the he was leaving.

Stefan

I hate what I am. I hate walking away from Elena, it hurts too much. It's not fair that – even when she is ready – I can't be with her, even though it is the thing I want most in the world.

This is Damon's fault, or to go further back than that, Katherine's. She compelled us, she changed us, and she died. She ruined the person Damon was. But tonight I saw more human in Damon since before Katherine's death. He showed more emotion than he has in a long time. It was stronger than hurt, it was completely crushed; as if the past had repeated itself and that she had died again.

It took me years to repair myself after Katherine died and Damon has to truly start now, there is no hope for her return.

I heard my phone ring and I checked the caller, Elena. She was calling me even after I had hurt her the way I did. I thought she understood that I meant I had to leave, yet she had called.

Against my better judgement and knowing that the sound of her voice would undo my surety, I answered the call.

"Stefan?" Her voice was scared and questioning. She didn't expect me to pick up; she thought it must be someone else.

I just realised that I have no idea what to say to her. I wanted to tell her how I feel, tell her everything is okay, but I know that would be counterproductive.

"Stefan? Are you there?" Her voice snapped me from my thoughts, but I still didn't know how to respond. "Look Damon, just hang up. I don't want to deal with you now" she sounded exhausted.

"It's me"

"Oh, I thought.... Can you meet me outside my house? Please? At least let me talk to you properly before you leave. I don't expect to change your mind but I need to tell you something." I left the house immediately and I began to run. I stayed out of the forest knowing that Damon was as unstable as ever.

"Is that a no? Have you already gone?"

"I'm on your porch." She hung up the phone and I heard her quietly run downstairs. She opened the door slowly, not wanting it to make too much noise. She looked uneasy as she walked towards me. I felt the worst guilt I had ever faced; Elena's eyes were red and puffy. She had done some serious crying and it was my fault. I wanted more than anything to comfort her. To tell her everything is okay. But I couldn't do that. I had to leave. It was for the best.

"Stefan, you leaving isn't fair. Don't go."

"This is for your own good. I promise. I don't want to go-"

She grabbed my hand and said "Then don't. It's that simple. I don't care how much you think you are protecting me, I don't want protection. I want you. I love you."

I love you too. I wish I could say it but she didn't understand. I had to leave; I had to stop ruining her life before it was beyond repair. So I did the hardest thing I have ever done. I pulled my hand away from hers and turned around. I pretended that her words were not the best things I have ever heard. I pretended like I didn't care about her. I broke her heart and walked away.

Elena

I tiptoed upstairs concentrating on making the least possibly amount of noise and not on the pain that now enveloped me. I found that Bonnie freaking a bit from waking up with me gone. I apologised to her and when I tried to explain about where I was, Stefan's name stuck in my throat and my voice cracked. The tears I had kept hidden rushed to the surface and the pain struck me. It was like he was gone, just like my parents, only this time he had chosen to leave. The tiny shred of hope that thought he would stay was dead.

Bonnie comforted me as I told her what Stefan had said. She gave me a tight hug after I finished telling her the way he had just walked away from me, again.

I needed that hug; I was in pieces and her comfort was keeping me together, barely.