-1His lifeless body hangs upside down, his legs are tied together but now his feet have been ripped apart by a sharp sword. A rope was tied to his penis but now there is an empty space and a pool of blood. His head has been shot 3 times just so he can feel pain and bleed to death. His eyes were gorged out with a hook, his nose was shattered with a hammer. His torso has cuts all over since a blade dug deep into his flesh. I have killed this hippie in the most extreme way I could think of that was still humane. I ran away from the abandoned factory as fast as I could, making sure I leave behind no tracks. If I was caught doing this crime I would surely face a harsh punishment. I run to a flash house where a good friend of mine lives.

" Damn it, what the fuck do you want?" Stan asks as I knock hard on his door but he gestures me in.

"Kyle, Kyle, Uncle Cartman is here," Stan screams at his son who was named after his best friend. Kyle says hi but I can't look the kid in the eyes. I relax a little and tell him I need a place to crash.

"Why?"

"Come on Stan,"

"Ok if Wendy says it's okay," Wendy and Stan have been married happily for 10 years. It kind of makes me think if I should settle down since I'm 30 now. They both got married when they were 20, a little to young but I guess they were destined for each other. I feel a little guilty sitting here with Stan, I have killed a very good friend of his and I am enjoying a cup of tea and some biscuits with the guy.

"Well I'm going to go ask Wendy if it's okay if I crash here tonight," I finish my biscuits and take the reminder of the tea with me to see Wendy. She hasn't liked me since elementary school probably because I am an asshole. Plain and simple.

"Hey Wendy…." Before I get the chance to ask her my cell phone goes off and I answer it.

"Cartman, your partner is dead,"

"What?" I asked trying to pretend like I give a fuck. My voice seems to be laced with fake concern so much that Wendy looks a little worried.

"He was found with in an abandoned factory and he had been tortured before his death,"

"Who could have done such a thing?"

"I'm not sure Eric but I hope you can make it too work tomorrow." He hangs up and I pause for a second. Wendy, a person who hates me had to be standing opposite to me when I got that phone call. She looks at me kind of weirdly but doesn't ask any questions other than do you need to stay the night. The whole night was filled with nightmares of what I did. I have known this guy most of my life and know he is dead and it's my fault.

"Get up Fat ass,"

"Damn it you fucking Jew," The words just slipped out of me and I awoke in a very awkward situation. Stan and his son where standing next to me trying to get me up and I had just used a profanity and racism. Wow I'm so glad it's Stan and not Wendy. I quickly get out of bed and luckily I was already in my work clothes since last night. I had hidden the gloves and radiation suit I had used to cover my tracks. I got the idea of the radiation suit after watching the Simpsons. I left my car at home so Stan offered to drive me to work.

"Wendy told me about the phone call you had last night, what was it about??" Stan turns down the radio and waits for a serious response. For a second his eyes went off the road and looked straight into mine. I felt very uneasy and I had no idea how to tell him.

"My partner….. He is uhhh," I see the police station just up the road so I decide to tell him before someone else does it.

"My partner is dead," I jumped out of the car as it stopped and ran my chubby ass as fast as I could. I wanted to stop as soon as I heard Stan crying, he was crying…. A fully grown man was…. Crying!!!! His sounds of sorrow is washed away as soon as I enter the building.

"Cartman, my office," Token Black the chief of the police force takes no crap from anyone but today his eyes showed a hint of weakness, a hint of….sadness. I follow Token to his office and take a seat opposite his desk.

"I know your last partner was one of the best on the team but he is sadly gone now, a new officer has transferred out of New York, he used to live here. He is going to be your new partner and since I know you want to solve the case of who killed your partner you guys already got a crime to solve."

"Who is this new partner?"

"He went elementary with us, he was the one that moved away to New York just after 6th grade, the poor blonde kid, Kenneth McCormick," Kenny walks though the door no doubt listening to our conversion.

"Fuck you Token," He says not caring that it's his new boss. Kenny's blonde hair was it's messy self, his blue eyes were filled with hope and his orange parka was unhooded. Poor Kenny, buying his clothes from a budget store that sells only one kind of crappy clothing. He has been wearing that since kindergarten.

"Shut up you poor bitch, okay Ken from now on you got to show me respect, I am your boss now,"

"Fine," He gives Token a wide grin but I can't help but ignore their love fest.

"Kenny, damn it, why did you come back to town you poor fuck,"

"Shut up fat ass, I didn't want to be paired up with you,"

"Like I wanted you to be my partner, how did you even pass police school? Don't you need money to do that?"

"Fuck you Cartman, I wish you had died instead," Suddenly the mood shifted, I don't know which way it shifted but everything was different. There was a deafening silence and so much tension between the three of us I was afraid one of us might explode. I felt such hate towards Kenny, I could have killed him right there.

"Well you two got a job too do, find out who killed Cartman's last partner" We both nodded before waving at Token before leaving his office.

"Bring your car?" I shake my head, I left my car at home and I still feel extremely pissed at Kenny. I want to rip his balls off with my bare hands. Kenny leads me to his car, an undercover car just like mine but it is a lot flasher than mine.

"Dude…. R35 Skyline GTR? Where did you get the money for that?"

"Worked 3 jobs for a couple of years, I had no social life but meh, got time for rubbish like that now," I ignore his words as I stare at the metallic blue paint that I love, I always wanted this car.

"Well your driving, it's been ages since I been in this town,"

"Maybe we should grab a meal and catch up before we investigate the abandon factory, I don't work well with people I hate and you might be able to convince me that you're my old best friend," It sounded cheesy but I'm hungry.

"Never said no to free food and we were old best friends?"

"Oh…. That came out wrong," I could feel my cheeks turn red and I just ignored his smirk and drove towards a fancy restaurant on the north side of South Park.

"It's a new restaurant, only been around for about 5 years but the food is awesome." I park the car in an empty space and hop out. Kenny walks into the restaurant while I stand outside a little longer than necessary. I know it's only a matter of time till I get caught, till they found out I was the one that killed my old partner. I must sound fucking weak right now.

"What can I get you two?….. Kenny?" Bebe voice sounds way to friendly even for a waiter that is forced to be nice.

"Yeah it's weird Bebe works at a 5 star restaurant, I thought she would have become a hooker by now,"

"Shut up fuck face. Cartman, do you know why you never had a steadily relationship… well a relationship?"

"Cause I don't need one, Bebe do you know why you such a slut that you have one night stands more than once a night?"

"I do not…. I never had a one night stand in fact I have never…. Uhhh never mind, so Kenny how have you been?"

"I been busy ever since I returned from Afghanistan,"

"You served in Iraq?"

"Yeah but as a peace keeper,"

"Pussy," I laugh right at Kenny's face, Afghanistan was such a long time ago anyways.

"I think it's very brave," Bebe gives Kenny a warm smile and takes a seat next to him.

"Hey bitch your suppose to be serving,"

"Fuck up Fat ass," Another waiter comes and asks for our orders, Bebe even orders a lunch to have. Kenny and I were suppose to be catching up right now but instead he and Bebe are talking loads and telling stories. That asshole has the chance to catch up with his former best friend but he refuses to do so and instead talks to some 25 cent whore.

"Well I'll call you Kenny, got to get back to work, Craig will growl me, you remember Craig right?" Kenny nods his head and says bye before attending the rest of his meal.

"What the hell was that Ken?"

"What do you mean?" His voice was muffled as he attempted to talk while having lobster meat in his mouth.

"You could have caught up with me but instead you talked to that whore,"

"Dude, were partners, we are going to be spending a lot of time together," I guess he has a good point but still…. After years and years I haven't seen this bastard and now he is back in town. My former best friend and I hope I can erase the former bit.

"Eric, we got to get going to the crime scene,"

"Kenny, you just got back in town don't you want to spend some time hanging out, it's an abandon factory after all, we got all day to investigate it,"

"Cartman, I came back to this town for my job, I'll complete that and then muck around,"

"Fine," I didn't see a bill and ask Bebe for it and she said it's on the house, I run the fuck out of the restaurant before Craig comes. He would probably flip me off as usually or throw a tantrum about nothing. He can be such a bitch at times.

As I enter Kenny's car I watch Kenny talking to Bebe and saying bye. This bothers me and I don't know if I'm jealous or if it's just that I don't like Kenny and Bebe. Probably the latter. I beep the horn and Kenny hurries it up a little bit. Maybe it's better that I take a bit of time, what if Kenny finds out I was the one that killed my last partner. He is bound to find it out sooner or later and I rather it be later.

"Ok Cartman, drive to the abandon factory where your last partner was killed,"

"Ok, there is something you need to know about my last partner,"

"What is it?"

"You knew him as a child, you knew him well so maybe I should take this one,"

"Nah dude I'll be fine, you must have known him well, all these years, it must be hard on you just to walk into the area," Well I tried, it's only a short amount of time before this crime is solved and I'm in prison or killed. Why did I do it? My last partner tried so many times to correct my wrongs, to help me but I was just disgusted by his ways. Since we were kids we were enemies but at the same time friends, I never imagined I would end up killing the guy.

"Seems like you made a new friend Ken,"

"New friend? Nah just catching up with old ones,"

"Well you want to catch up with some more old ones? Stan? Wendy?"

"Maybe later, what's with you wanting to dodge the crime scene," Oh fuck I might look a little suspicious if I continue trying to delay the inspection.

"It's just….." I trail off, my brain wasn't able to come up with a response.

"Oh sorry Cartman, I keep forgetting it is your old partner, a good friend of yours, you probably miss him so much already…. Maybe we will see Stan and Wendy." Last time I saw Kenny was at Stan and Wendy's wedding and he hasn't been in South Park since. He called once or twice a year but in the past 3 or 4 years he has become distant, we all thought he had died…again and for some reason he was taking a little longer to return.

"Well this is Stan and Wendy's house,"

"Wow it's a flash house, dude look at this, they got a swimming pool,"

"Yeah I know, Stan is a lawyer and Wendy is an doctor, good pay together, they are like fucking millionaires."

"You think they would be home?"

"Yeah, they would be, I know they took a day off today," I walk up to the nice green door and knock on the door. The door opens to show a sobbing Stan and a Wendy that looks extremely sad. Oh fuck!! I just forgot I told Stan that my partner was dead.

"You two okay?" Wendy observed Kenny closely as if trying to figure out who he was.

"Kenny? Stan…. Kenny is here," We both walk into the house and take a seat next to Stan. Kenny tightly embraces him and starts to question him on what happen.

"Kyle is dead,"

"Kyle? What… Cartman why didn't you tell me dude,"

"Kyle…. Was my old partner," Kenny suddenly looks at me sharply, a hint of annoyance in his eyes is hidden by the sorrow. I hope he doesn't find out that I was the one that killed Kyle, I don't know how I could live if Kenny found out or if Stan found out and they didn't tell anyone. I'm starting to regret what I did, maybe I was wrong to kill Kyle.

"Cartman, we got to go their right now, figure out who did it and put that bastard behind bars," Usually I would be so happy at a statement like that but I don't know how to respond, the bastard that did it is me.

"Ok Kenny lets go then, catch you some other time Stan," We get out of the house and I start driving towards the abandon factory that I killed Kyle at. As we walk into the factory we can see it's empty except for Kyle's lifeless body. His blood is all over the ground, he looks like a pig that has been hung upside down in order to let the blood drain out. Kenny spewed up after glancing on the body, the shock value was more intense than I ever imagined and I was the one that did it. I did it all, I am the reason he is hanging upside down and is dead.

"Take the photographs and lets get out of here, we will get the medical examiner in here tomorrow," Kenny words made my heart stop, I know I went through crazy lengths to stop myself getting caught. Rubber gloves were the obvious thing to use but maybe I left behind something else. I wonder what I have left behind….

Tick, Tock, Tick, Tock Time is running out and it's only a short amount of time before they find me.