A History of Hogwarts: Peeves Style!
Peeves
wandered around the school aimlessly, wreaking havoc wherever he went. Peeves
is a Poltergeist, and he LOVES playing jokes on people, being a pest, and
grabbing people's noses and yelling GOT YOUR CONK! This character does NOT seem
to be the type to write a book, and certainly not a history book! But its true,
he wrote: "A History of Hogwarts: Peeves Style!" This is Peeves'
book:
One
day four weirdoes came to a place. Their names were Salazar Slytherin, Godric
Gryffindor, Rowena Ravenclaw, and Helga Hufflepuff. They decided to build
something. Unfortunately, they were dumb enough to build a school, of all
things! Then they started training little firstie wizards to be wizards. They
did that for a loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong time. But then I came to
school. I caused the most trouble in Hogwarts history! But one day I was
chasing some baby first year down the stairs and fell down, rolled, hit a suit
of armor, and then, I died! My ghost stayed there. Lots of booooooooooooooring
stuff happened and I was the best thing that happened to the school. Then three
idiots came and took my place. I chucked chalk at them whenever I could. Then I
found out Old Lady (McGonagall) had a closet full of JUST CHALK! Then when
James, Sirius and Remus came near me, I chucked chalk at them at seventy miles
an hour! Then they left and Old Lady ran out of chalk. More boring stuff
happened. And then, one day, came the biggest loser I have ever seen! His name
was Gilderoy Lockhart, and he claimed he did all this stuff. Then I found out
Old Lady refilled her chalk stash, and there was more chalk then before! I
started chucking chalk at the Baby (Lockhart) and he started crying and
cowering in the corner! Sucker! Then people started to get attacked, and I
invented the best song that Hogwarts has ever seen! It went: Potter, you rotter! What have you done?
You're killing off students and you think its great fun! Then the worst
thing happened. Old Man (Dumbledore) hired a new Bore (professor) and it was
one of the idiots! He even made bubble gum shoot up my nose when I was just
innocently filling Dumbo's (Filch's) closet lock with gum! Then I went back to
pelting people with chalk. Did you know chalk is the perfect thing to use to
draw moustaches on the paintings? Then a bunch of stuff happened, and then the
END!!!
Peeves would like to
add that you stink.
We would like to warn
you that when you open Peeves' book you get sprayed with water.
Peeves would like to
add that in the end of his book he becomes headmaster.
We would like to add
that if that happens, there would no longer be a school to go to.
Peeves would like to
say that we are lying.
We would like to say
are not!
Peeves would like –
AHHHHHH!
"Peeves would like to
chuck calk at you!" said Peeves menacingly.
END
Disclaimer:
Everything is J.K. Rowling's. Not mine.
And do not blame me
if a piece of chalk flies through your monitor and hits you in the face.
Should I continue
with Peeves' book? Y/N in review.
Please Review! I
would like to know how I am doing as a writer.