I promised that I would do a companion piece to "Every time she thinks she's out. . . " and here it is. I'm not thrilled by it, but hey, I'm hoping you all might be. As a writer, I really struggled with how this reconciliation would come about. I tried to do it in a way that was most true to the characters but still gratifying for the reader. I know that this pairing is SUPER controversial and I don't want to step on anybody's toes, just a warning. But, please do enjoy and don't be afraid to review.
. . . He Pulls Her Back In
Someone had to reconcile, to fix this. After the Christmas party, she got to thinking about how the rest of her life would play out. If she was going to move on from Lockhart/ Gardner, she needed to cut off from the source. This was the bravest, stupidest thing she had ever done.
/
She was greeted at the door by something leggy, naked and blonde.
"You're not the Thai guy," Isabelle said confused. She wore only a set of emerald green lace underwear and a matching bra.
At first, Alicia thought she's got the wrong apartment. But then-
"It's 9:37, if he thinks I'm paying $20 for late Green Curry, he's got another thing com- oh."
She was too horrified to observe how good Will looked, how much she'd missed the sound of his voice. The wrinkled white t-shirt, the black boxers. Too much. She attempted to gather herself and her words, but she couldn't.
Oh? Is that all she got, an "oh?"
It was a low, disappointed "oh."
An almost snarling "oh."
A have-you-come-to-grovel-for-your-job-back "oh."
No "Hi" or "Hello" just an "oh" and a sardonic smirk. And maybe something else, in his eyes. Perhaps it was shock. Maybe shock, a smirk and an "oh."
And for a minute or two, no one said much else after the "oh."
"I'm Isabelle." said the beautiful naked woman, extending her hand. "You should come in probably."
"No," they said together, both looking panicked.
"I mean, no, thank you, I must, must have the wrong floor. Jesus, sorry." Abruptly, she turned and hurried back to the elevator. Once inside, safely inside with the doors dinged shut and the Muzak humming, she cursed herself for being so stupid. She rummaged through her purse and pulled out her phone.
"One of these days, you're going to talk to me. And it has to be soon." she typed.
Her phone buzzed back suddenly, "Meet me at Glenn's in an hour."
/
They had been sitting there for eight minutes and forty-three seconds in a horrible silence. Since she had first come in, two other tables had been seated and served. She ordered coffee and a plate of mozzarella sticks. He asked for coffee and a slice of peach cobbler. Both plates went untouched. They sat at a table by the window. When she came in, he had already been seated. Though she said "Hi" not a word was spoken back and he only stared out of the window at the car lights passing by as he did now. She knew, or at last she thought she did, why he wasn't speaking to her. And she felt more torn up about it than anyone else knew.
"Will, talk to me." she pleaded, reaching for his hand. He pulled it away from her grasp. A look of distant sadness played across his face.
He licked his lips. "I can't." he scarcely whispered. "I don't know where to start."
"I'm afraid to say anything to you. I don't want to upset you if that's at all possible?"
"Upset me?" he asked, dismayed, still not looking at her.
"I'm sorry." she apologized.
He didn't reply.
"I want you to call me every name in the book if it'll make you feel better, "
"It'll make you feel better." he snarled. "That's why you came tonight, isn't it? To clear your conscience?"
"Yes," she admitted.
"Okay," He chortled.
"Yes." she said defensively. She understood that he was angry, but why not let go of it? Why not put it aside and do what's best for everyone? "Look, Will, our personal shit doesn't belong in the middle of this mess. It's blinding. You and me, we look like children bickering back and forth. Everybody knows. Everybody can see how angry you are and it's telling." She poured. "I can't move forward with vendetta you've put against me and my firm. I just want to move on."
"You don't think I want the same?"
"I think your feelings are getting in the way. We need to come to some kind of understanding. I want you to stop hating me. I want- I want a chance to explain myself. I want you to see me as someone else other than. . . Judas. I want things to go back to the way they were."
"When I was fucking you?"
"No. When we were friends."
"Why? What difference does it make?" Will's gaze dropped to his lap. He looked so deeply broken that he was calm. Too calm to speak, too sad to cry. "I had this dream of us, two years ago. I had an idea of how it would be and I was convinced that you felt the same way. That you saw what I was trying to build for the two of us, how I was trying to make space for you in my life. We were gonna be- so much more than. . . What we are.
I had no idea that you were even capable of lying to me. I should have, you lied to everyone else to get what you wanted. But I never thought that you would do it to me. And I get it. You're married. Sometimes these things just don't work out, but you didn't have to lie. I would have given you- anything you asked for, Alicia. I'm not the governor, but I would have given you anything you asked for. If you wanted to be an associate, a partner, anything, you know I would have done anything for you."
"I wouldn't have wanted it handed to me. That's not why I started working again. I would never have used you in such a way." she insisted.
"But you did use me. If not on purpose, then by accident and honestly, I can't say which is worse. The bottom line is that I felt for you in a way that was never reciprocated. You proved to me what everyone saw when you went behind my back and stole our clients. And I don't even want to look at you right now, you make me so sick." He spat. This insect, this temptress, this monster. How dare she sit there so doe-eyed and beautiful, pretending to be so innocent when she wasn't? She pretended to be this pillar of virtue and courage for all of these years, but what she truly showed herself to be was snake and a coward. He hated her. He hated her so much. He hated himself for the tenderness that remained for her, as it never seemed to go away.
A tear spilled from his eye. He didn't mean for it to. He tried to will himself against it, but couldn't.
Shattered inside at the sight of him hurt, Alicia took Will's hand from across the table. Held it softly between both of her own. She stroked his palm and traced the veins on his hands with her fingers. Delicately, she lifted it and pressed his knuckles to her deep red lips. Such strong, capable hands. The room was quieting, shrinking and growing dark. She kissed the pad of his pointer finger, let it slip into her mouth. She grazed it gently with her teeth and sucked down on it. She ran her foot gently up his. She put her palm on his cheek. She ran her fingers through the hair on the back of his neck. But his eyes were hooded in resistance. She willed him to look at her, to see her begging for him.
Will sighed deeply, his eyes rolled back into his head. She saw him struggling to keep composure. Aware that she should have been more cautious, but simply not caring. His chest rose and fell in rhythm. It was so sexy, so intoxicating watching him fall apart in front of her.
Something inside of snapped in him, though. His eyes pried open and again he took in where he was. They exchanged flushed glances, then he rose from the table and rushed out of the door.
She slumped back in her chair, feeling bereaved and embarrassed for a minute. Then she stood up and followed him out.
/
She slipped out of her black pumps and ran after him. He was so far ahead of her, there was a good chance she'd miss him. And then what?
When she caught up with him finally, she wasn't sure what to say. She was breathing heavily and so was he, maybe for different reasons. She pulled him into a dark alley. If it had to be this way, in the dark, beside a FedEx, with people walking past them every second, so be it. She backed him up against the wall, threw her bag and her jacket on the ground. It was freezing rain and she'd made a hole at the bottom of her stockings from running barefoot on the pavement, but she didn't think twice about it. Pressing herself flush against him, she took his face in both of her hands. She kissed one cheek, then another. She lay one on his forehead. Then she planted one on his mouth. The kiss was soft and quick. In an attempt to gage his reaction, she backed away from him and looked him in the eyes.
She searched his eyes for a sign, an indicator to go on.
She guided his hand to her lower back, and leaned again. "I love you very much, Will Gardner. Too much, I think. I'm sorry if you didn't know that," she whispered.
Out if nowhere, he grabbed her and threw her against the wall. He then slid her panties down from under her skirt. Oh, God, she thought. Here it is. Alicia Florrick's fall from grace. God help me. I might not survive this one.
The moment they exchanged can only be described as follows:
/
She grunts, she pants, she screams. She drips and sweats and spasms.
/
He loves it. So does she.
/
"Say you love me too."
"Say you forgive me for lying."
"Tell me it'll be different this time."
"I love you terribly."
"And I've missed you more."
"Whatever has become of me, I have you to thank for it. For my sins. For your intoxicating way. Nothing could ever feel so safe and so dangerous at the same time as you."
/
She bites down on his fingers so hard, for a split second, she thinks they bleed. She sucks on them lustfully just in case.
/
He takes her as high as she'll go. And when he's finished, her eyes are closed and she looks pliant and soft. Her mouth hangs open slightly. A thin sheen catches the light on her cheeks and neck, the tops of her breasts. She sinks down from her tip-toes to her heels and wavers slightly. Her eyes come open. And they glisten.
/
When it was over, she was sure it was really over. Will pushed his hair back, and sighed wearily, calculating in that way he did. Alicia saw the cogs turning in her head and knew somehow that she was inevitably done for. Used for playing with and preparing to be tossed aside. Dammit.
He started to walk away from her, and her heart sank. He stuffed his hands in his pockets and threw her a look back over his shoulder. "Come on, then."
How could she refuse?
So, there it is. Reminder that this girl does not write smut often and this was a lot of pressure for me, but tell me, What'd you think?
And a note, I won't say whether or not Will and Isabelle got it on that night, but who cares really? Blondie doesn't really have much to do with either of them anyway.