Disclaimer: Only the plot of this story is my own. I did not play any role in creating Sir Conan Doyle's Sherlock Holmes or the BBC series it inspired, which is, in fact, what inspired this particular fic. I am extremely grateful for its existence, however, and do on occasion flail over it, as seen below:

*FLAILS*

Chapter updates will vary in length as this is written in a blog format. I hope you enjoy!

Friday, 10th February
9:23 PM

Hello, dear readers!

I just want to get something straight: I do not like Sherlock Holmes. Some people would say I hate Sherlock Holmes. I am one of those people.

It all started when he, for lack of a better word, joined Scotland Yard a few years ago. Before then he'd been solving cases somewhere other than London or something, LOOK I DON'T KNOW, I DON'T PAY ATTENTION WHEN HE TALKS! Before Sherlock, I was quite happy in my post, working under Lestrade as a detective inspector. And when I say under Lestrade I don't mean literally under him because that would be really gay. No homo. Anyways, then Sherlock came around and ruined everything!

-HOW SHERLOCK RUINS THINGS-
1. By being bossy all the time.
2. Having nice hair. He makes my perfectly acceptable hair looks less nice.
3. Getting all excited and jumping about whenever he solves something.
4. Making Lestrade listen to him ALL the TIME.
5. Being mean to me. No one likes a bully, Sherlock Holmes.
6. Causing global warming.
7. I don't know how he's doing it, but I know it's his fault.
8. No it's not because he's "so hot", jeez!

As you can see, he has even managed to ruin this list, and deface my precious blog with his bad name. I wouldn't even be writing about him again if there was anything interesting going on in the world of
Anderson, but, unfortunately, there isn't.

Not even Sally is proving useful of late, though that could just be because the wife hasn't gone away in a while... I'm sure she'll want another piece of Anderson to savour when the wife's next business trip
comes around... Though she was a little put off last time she came round and I tried to take a picture with my phone when we were doing the nasty (Sally, that is, the wife and I don't get up to that
anymore). I say "a little put off" loosely for really she was quite angered and threw my phone across the room because of it. I tried to explain the only reason I did it was that you guys were all "PICS OR
IT DIDN'T HAPPEN!1!one!11" in the comments so I felt I had to oblige, but she just didn't listen.

Sadly, because of the whole Sally/phone fiasco, this means I am unable to update during the day (at my lunch break, etc.), but I'm working hard at fixing the problem. Tomorrow I am going to get it fixed at the local Future Shop, so hopefully that works out, unless Sherlock finds a way to RUIN IT. Have I mentioned he ruins everything?