Authors note :I don't own one piece or there would be serious couples!
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"Bloop bloop bloop bloop," went the den den mushi, "hello?"
"Zoro?"
"Tashigi?"
"I miss you."
"I…uh … miss you too" Zoro said feeling unsure and very unmanly.
"You felt very unmanly saying that, didn't you?"
"Ya."
"I could tell-- so what's new"
"We almost got into a food fight-- extra emphasis on the 'almost'."
"What happened?"
"Sanji went 'p.m.s' on us and said 'if one piece of food falls on the floor I will make you clean the whole kitchen with your tongue!'-- so no food fight"
"Well yesterday we had a food fight, which is why I didn't call."
"Did you throw any food?"
"I might have put jello down someone's shirt-- I might not have."
"Did you get into trouble?"
"I'm the sergeant major, I don't get into trouble-- I scream at people for getting into trouble."
"You're more evil then a…"
"Don't say it!"
"Fine [coughpirate[cough."
"I'm not afraid to hang up you know."
"You would never!"
"Would I?"
"Fine, you win."
"Thank you."
"Don't get too haughty."
"Why not?"
"Because I let you win."
"Ya, ok, whatever helps you sleep at night. I gotta go soon."
"Why?"
"Hina has been coming on to our ship to have 'meetings' with Smoker almost every day and she always has to interrogate me about who I talk to on the den den mushi."
"My crew does the same thing do you think we should tell them something that's not true like I'm talking to my cousin in Arkansas?"
"Two steps ahead of you-- your name is Barney."
"Thanks," Zoro said sarcastically, "should I call you Fanny?"
"Barney was the first thing that came to my mind!"
"Wait, was I named after Barney the dinosaur or Barney as in the big fat drunk in the Simpsons?"
"Barney the dinosaur."
"WHY?!"
"It has a green stomach," a knock can be heard in the background, "gotta go, bye."
"Bye, I'm calling you Great Auntie Fanny!" and with that Zoro hung up.
"But I don't even look like a Fanny, I'm not old!"
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