Disclaimer: I do not own The Hunger Games. That's all Suzanne Collins.
This is for DemigodWithTheBread, who requested this story! I hope you enjoy, dear.
Also, this is a backwards story. It's meant to be read from top to bottom, it starts from the end of their relationship to the beginning. I got the idea of a backwards story on HPFF. I hope
Backwards & Forwards
vi.
She's lying there cold and pulseless on the forest floor. Her blonde hair is strewn everywhere and there is a tiara of blood smeared across her forehead, where a large gash was the source of all the blood. Her blue eyes are still open in terror where they will forever be looking at her killer, and will forever be blind to him and to everyone else.
This is all because of the Capitol. This is all their fault. If there was no Capitol, if there were no Districts, if there was no war then things would be so, so different for them. For one thing they would probably be happy and laughing right now, just soaking up each other's company. Madge would be warm in his arms, not locked in the frigid embrace of a grave.
He's kneeling at her body holding her limp hand. He was not with her when she died. He should have been. He should have been with her, protecting her, fighting for her. But she had told him to go on ahead. He was a better fighter than she was, Madge had reasoned, they wouldn't kill her. They wouldn't think their energy worth wasting to try and kill her.
She was wrong. The Capitol wanted as many lives as they could get, it didn't matter how insignificant they saw the life. A rebel was worth killing, no matter how weak. In their eyes Madge was nothing more than a statistic to show how superior they were.
Peeta gently placed a hand on Gale's shoulder. "Come on," he whispers to Gale, still fairly weak himself. But at least he's alive. Unlike Madge, who will never breath again. Katniss was able to save Peeta when Gale could not save Madge. "We need to move. They may want to come and collect the bodies."
He knows the truth of Peeta's words and this fact alone makes fury rise inside of him where before there was only numb disbelief. "No. We're going to bury her, a proper burial. Then I'm going to kill whoever did this to her. And that's a promise."
v.
"I can't believe that District Twelve is really gone," Madge murmurs against his neck, which is also damp from her tears.
"I know," he strokes her hair gently and puts his nose in her smoky locks trying not to shed his own tears. He left his whole world back there and now it's all becoming ash. He bets the Capitol is pleased. All of that coal must have made it easy to burn.
He can see the flames from in his mind's eye, even though they must be miles from District Twelve and are getting farther and farther away. They are now going to pick up all of the alive tributes from the arena where the Hunger Games is going on. It is strange knowing that the Hunger Games are still being filmed and the apocalypse is happening as they speak.
"Thank you, Gale, for saving me. Ev-even if you couldn't save my parents," she looks into his eyes, and in the pit of his stomach he can feel the weight of guilt there. "At least you tried."
The guilt gets heavier, because he did not even try. He did not even think of them until they got into the hovercraft and Madge began shrieking about them and tried to run out. He had grabbed Katniss's family and his own and brought them to the hovercraft, and then he had forced himself to run back into hell to get Madge. He knew he couldn't leave without her. All this time she had been his rock, his only real friend (or, if he was being honest with himself, more than a friend) in all of this craziness with the Hunger Games and Katniss and Peeta and everything that had been going on in his life. Madge was a constant.
He couldn't just go without her. Gale was selfish enough to put his needs before hers. He wanted her with him just as much as she wanted her parents, perhaps more. If he never saw her again due to the Capitol...
But he banishes the painful thoughts and just pulls her closer to him knowing that as long as she's alive with him then nothing else really matters. She'd forgive him if she knew, right?
iv.
The smoke is blindingly thick, and Madge can't see where she's going. She's running around like a chicken with it's head cut off, running into doors and walls left and right trying to get out of her home. She isn't sure what she will do after she gets out, where she'll go, how she'll escape, but she isn't thinking about that right now. She just wants out.
She inhales the smoke and then coughs. This is death. This must be what it is like to die, all of the chaos and panic that she is feeling are slowing down and are going away from her veins. She can't take much more of this, she knows. She won't be able to live much longer. Soon the flames will come and consume her body and she will burn to death.
She doesn't really care. Perhaps death will bring relief from this fiery inferno. She does not even know where her family is and she is all alone in the attic, which is the highest point of her home. No one will find her here. She will die alone and no one will be none the wiser.
She resigns herself to death and sees Gale's face in her mind just as she is closing her eyes. This part of death is pleasant. No one told her that the last image that you see will bring you peace. Perhaps she will not even feel the fire bubbling her skin and frying her alive.
"Madge! Madge!" She hears his voice too. This is actually nicer than she thought it would be. She didn't know that she would be able to hear his beautiful voice again. Madge inhales smoke again, and coughs. "Oh thank God," Gale whispers. She feels him touch her cheek.
This is not a figment of her imagination, she knows this because the touch of his calloused hand is so real. He is really here with her, and he will die with her. She does not want this. She does not want him to die because of her. Gale will have to go on without her.
She tries to tell him that but she cannot talk. "Can you walk?" he asks her. She nods and gets up shakily and then Gale is dragging her by the hand down the stairs and out the door. She inhales the clean air and looks at her savior.
He did not forget about her. Even though he knew his life would be endangered by trying to find her he did it anyway. For once she was not put behind someone else's needs. He had saved her because she needed saving.
She looked up at him from the bed in the infirmary before she falls into the black abyss of sleep. "Thank you," she whispers, her voice scratchy and unclear from the smoke.
He nods and kisses her forehead and hums her a lullaby.
iii.
He is in agony, in deep pain, and she knows that it's not just because of the half healed gashes in his back. It is because of what is happening on that wretched screen and there is nothing that Madge can do to soothe the pain. There is no magic vial that she can produce that would ease the pain that is deep in his heart.
Katniss is an idiot, a fool. She doesn't know what she had in front of her, she was ignorant and blind. Normally Madge would not be thinking this about Katniss, because they really are friends, but she's furious at Katniss. Furious because of what she is doing to Gale, furious at her because she had exactly what Madge wanted and she didn't even know it.
Madge is afraid of what Gale might say to her if she tries to comfort her, he may be harsh to her, he has been before, but she strives to do it anyway. It may not cover the pain, but perhaps she can soothe it. The two of them have forged a friendship since the last Hunger Games and she knows that he cares about her, even if they are strictly friends. He knows that she cares about him too and won't question why she would want to console him.
She sits gently on the edge of the bench where he is alone. "I'm sorry," she tells him. I'm sorry that she doesn't love you. I'm sorry she chose him. I'm sorry that you have to watch, she thinks, but she doesn't dare say any that.
Gale silently takes her hand. Madge lets out a gasp of shock. They have never held hands before. She has never held hands with a boy before, period. He doesn't look at her, instead choosing to look at the screen instead. "It's okay. It doesn't hurt nearly as much as the last time." He looks at her, his grey eyes clear of pain. He isn't lying to her. "It doesn't hurt at all, actually. I gave up on her when I kissed her, when I got whipped. She loves Peeta, even if she doesn't realize it. It's easy not to want her now."
He pauses, looking deep in her eyes. If she never had to move from this spot she would be the happiest girl alive, forever. "Prim told me that you were the one that brought the painkillers for me. Thank you for them. Believe me, I needed them."
"Your welcome. Really, it wasn't that big of a deal," she shrugs, looking away from him while she lies. It was a huge deal, and she had almost gotten frostbite, but it had been so worth it, being able to go home and think that he might be in less pain because of her.
"Actually, I think it was. Prim also told me that there was practically a blizzard going on, but you still walked all the way to Victor's Village. Why?" She can feel his searching gaze on her, but she still looks away. She can't tell him this while looking at him.
"Because I love you," she whispers, letting go of the secret that she has so tightly kept to her chest. It was easiest to keep it there and never to let it go because she knows that this way she will not be rejected, but now the words have slipped through her teeth of their own accord. It's about time he knew anyway. He probably always knew.
Madge doesn't want to see the expression there, because it will most likely bring her pain. What if he is disgusted? What if he doesn't even want to be her friend again? Will he hate her now? He only loves Katniss, and who can blame him? She's funny, smart, beautiful, and she hunted with him. She was his best friend. Madge is none of these things. Madge is no match for Katniss, and she knows this.
"Madge, I-" he says this so softly that Madge cannot hear him, even though she is sitting right next to him. She braces her heart for the words that will break it. "Look at me," he demands, and she gives him what he wants because she wants to.
She looks at him and he does not look disgusted or betrayed or any of the emotions that she had imagined. He is looking at her with wonder. And then he does something that surprises them both. He kisses her suddenly, and Madge knows that perhaps this is the beginning of a new bond between them.
ii.
He is wasting one of his precious Sundays on her. She knows that he usually spends Sunday, which is the one day that he does not have to go to the mines, hunting for his family. But when she protested he had told her that he had hunted twice as much last week.
She decided to believe him, even though she really didn't. Would the meat last this long? Madge wasn't sure, because her father never bought meat from Gale, but she let it go.
Now here she was in the middle of the woods with Gale, and his hands were over her eyes. She bit her lip, worried. This is one of the few times that she actually has come out of the gate that surrounds District Twelve and she isn't sure she likes it here. It's too quiet, and there are supposed to be wild animals here.
But Gale said that he had to show her something, and that alone made Madge's reluctance fade. What could be important enough that he would take her out of the gate and into the words for.
"Okay, you can open your eyes now." Madge can feel his warm breath on the back of her neck. It feels wonderful and gives her goose bumps.
She opens them slowly, still reluctant, and what she sees is a big wild dog and a five pups surrounding her. "Oh," she whispers. "They're wonderful!" She had never seen anything quite like them before, and they are so adorable. She sinks down to the floor and inches slightly closer to them.
A voice nags at the back of her mind. Would Katniss act this way? Probably not. Katniss would probably act like she had seen puppies before, or she would act like they were'nt cute. Well, Madge is not Katniss, and she can't help how she's acting. She never will be Katniss, and that's something that Madge can't help.
"You might not want to get too close," Gale crouches next to her. "The mother might not like that. She almost killed me when I was hunting and accidently ran on top of them. "
"She's a beauty too," Madge breathes. The dog is big and grey and her large yellow eyes look at them wisely.
One puppy decides to be braver than the rest and breaks away from the pack, and practically leaps to the two of them. Madge laughs in delight. They're so cute!
The puppy hears her laugh and barks at her and then stops and barks again. "I think it wants you to laugh again. You have a beautiful laugh, you know," Gale tells her this casually, as if they are talking about the weather. "Pretty smile, when you choose to show it. You smile less than Katniss, you know."
They are back at Katniss again. Madge sighs, and the smile melts off her face like heated butter. "Yes, well, sorry about that."
Because Madge is not Katniss, and she never will be. That will have to be enough, for the both of them.
i.
Katniss and Peeta are on their way to the Capitol where they will be interviewed and fed before they are sentenced to die. Madge could almost cry, but she doesn't. She and Katniss were not really that close of friends, but Katniss was her only friend and that counts for something.
Madge doesn't know Peeta that well, but she knows that he is friendly and kind. She feels so horrible for them. The Hunger Games are a horrible form of torture. Why does the Capitol do this? This does not make the Districts behave, this makes them angry. But they had no choice ,and year after year they send tributes to their deaths.
If this is how it feels for her, it must be ten times worse for the people who are actually close to them. Like how Gale is to Katniss. Even though Katniss does not notice, Gale is practically in love with her. Katniss is stupid, Katniss is blind. Madge is surprised at the ferocity of her thoughts, but she can't help it. She should have realized this before she left.
Gale is now walking around District Twelve with a slump in his shoulder. He's hurting, and she wants to help him. He's been doing this for a few days now, wondering around with no set path that Madge can see. As he walks in front of her house she leaps up and knows that she has to help him.
She's surprised at her own boldness, but she's had a crush on him since she was thirteen years old. It's about time that she talked to him more than when he sells them strawberries.
"Gale," she calls out, and she sees his figure stop and turn around.
"What?" he asks her sharply. Madge knows that he doesn't exactly like her; that was clear enough on the day of the reaping, but he doesn't have to be so rude to her. She never did anything to deserve that. She hardly even talks to him!
"I'm sorry about Katniss, and everything. Really. She was my friend too," Madge whispers.
"Yeah, well, I don't really care. Look, Madge, you might be sad, but you have no idea what it's like for me. You're stuck up there in your pretty house with your pretty clothes and," Gale stops talking. "Never mind, you won't get what it's like to have it hard. When you do, the bonds you make with people are deeper."
Rage, deep and dark, froths within Madge. What does it mean, she has it easy? He has no idea what he's talking about! Everyone in District Twelve has it hard. Just because she's the Mayor's daughter, just because she gets enough to eat most of the time,and just because she doesn't have to hunt in the woods does not mean that her life is easy.
He doesn't know about the fact that her mother says that she buys medicine for her 'headaches' when Madge really knows that she gets it because she wants to escape a world without her little sister in it, a sister for who her mother has never properly grieved. He doesn't know about how terrified they all are that at any given time the Capitol will descend upon them and kill them all and no one would be none the wiser simply because they can. He would never understand this, and he probably wouldn't listen to her if she told him.
"You have no idea," she hurls the words at him because he's already began walking away from her. "You don't know what you are talking about. You don't know me, you don't know anyone. You don't care! You don't care about anything. Look at you, you're moping right now! You haven't gone hunting since Katniss left."
This stops Gale in his tracks. "How d'you know..."
"Look, Gale, it doesn't matter how I know. The point is that I do. You think that every time something bad happened to me that I mope like you are? No, I don't. I know you loved Katniss, but you're not the only one. It's not my fault that you have a hard life, a harder one than I do. If you want to blame anyone, blame the Capitol. But don't dare think that you're any better than I am just because I live in a 'pretty' house. I don't think that I'm any better than you."
Madge is now breathing heavily, her anger nearly spent. How could she ever have liked him? He's horrible! Thinks he knows best and leaves it at that. Please.
Gale is looking at her in shock, blinking his eyes. He's never heard her speak that much ever, and she has certainly never yelled at him. "Okay. Truce. I'm sorry, I never should have said or thought those things. Friends? Sort of?" he asks her tentatively, holding out his hand.
Madge looks at his hand, and then at him. Was this some sort of test? Then she slowly reached out her hand for his. "Sort of," she tells him, and she watches him grin for the first time in weeks.
And this, she knows, is the beginning of something.