Fragments

a/n: a collection of four 1000-word one-shots for the medley event of the 2012 hogwarts games at hpfc. this chapter is also written for alarice tey's sad and depressing one-shot challenge and lady phoenix fire rose's the prompts only one hour challenge. i might edit this chapter to make it the second chapter and replace it with a different one later on (um this is a bit complicated to explain).
this chapter's title: screaming thoughts.

You should stop this, Ronald Weasley.

(Are you sure Bill can't hear you two?)

She assures you that nobody's going to find out.

(Doesn't Hermione know everything about you?)

( - But Hermione is no longer a part of you. Hermione was Harry's all along. She was never a part of you.)

You listen to those voices, but they're incomprehensible. You feel so blind. Deaf, more like. There are so many sounds, so many thoughts begging for attention that you think What the hell, just go with her. And so you follow her up the staircase when she smiles at you with that beautiful little mouth of hers. You wouldn't be able to resist it anyway; this is something you've wanted for so long, you can't simply pass this chance up.

And so here you are on her bed (that she shares with Bill). You tangle the sheets and she assures you that nothing's going to happen to you two. Nobody's going to find out.

(But Hermione -)

(Shut up, this is what you wanted -)

(But this is wrong -)

(Ronald Weasley, what are you doing?)

What are you doing?

Why are you bedding a woman you barely know (face it, all you really know about her is that her name is Fleur Delacour, she is married to your brother and she is beautiful) and why are you so eager to do so? Why are you doing this? This goes against everything your mother has taught you - Don't let a woman touch you until you're in love with her - and against all your own values - I am Hermione's and Hermione is mine, and I will never do anything to hurt her - and Fleur Delacour is married to your goddamn brother -

"No," you whisper, your lips trembling. You hands are on her thighs. She pulls away from you slightly, a quizzical look on her face.

"Do you not want to continue?" she asks, perplexed. Oh, that voice. Coated with lust and thick and beautiful, just like her -

"No. No, I don't want to continue," you say, your voice stronger now. You pull apart from her body, looking around hazily. Where did your jeans go?

"But Ronald ..." she says with a pout.

God damn it.

"No. Fleur, you're married to my brother. I can't do this."

(Ronald Weasley, you just gave up the most beautiful woman on earth -)

(Hermione is more beautiful.)

"Why?" she demands, her voice purring and seductive. But you ignore it - you try to ignore it. (You have to ignore it.)

"Because ... I can't. I'm sorry." The words are tumbling out of your mouth now. (Why are you apologizing to her? She's the one at fault.) "I'm sorry, I don't ... I ... I'm in love with Hermione." You wince slightly at the words, like they pain you. And they do. You remember the feeling of cold anger (maybe a bit of fear?) as you looked at her for the last time before Apparating away. "I'm in love with Hermione," you say again, more to yourself than to her. And it makes you recall all the awful memories of leaving - but at the same time, it feels more right than anything that's happened today.

"Fleur, you're married to my brother and I'm in love with Hermione. We can't do this."

Looking into the emotionless grey eyes of the woman before you, your heart breaks for your brother. He's married someone who doesn't deserve his love. He's married a whore.

You wonder if your heart should be breaking for Hermione, too. But this is more complicated. You aren't sure if she really loves you. She'd be murderous at you for leaving. You know her that well. And maybe that's good, because then she won't have the chance of being with someone who doesn't deserve her.

Your heart is breaking for yourself, because you don't deserve Hermione.

"We can't do this," you whisper again, echoing yourself.

(But that would mean that you should be with Fleur, if she doesn't deserve Bill and if you don't deserve Hermione -)

No. You're not going to do this. You know how much you loved being in bed with Fleur. But you know how much better it will feel if you don't go ahead and let her take you.

(How many hearts has she broken, anyway?)

(Shh, quiet.)

It's almost as if you've managed to take control of your thoughts as you run downstairs, fully clothed. You feel stronger than ever now. You resisted Fleur Delacour, a Veela.

"Only part-Veela," you remind yourself. The thought makes you smile, anyway. How did you do it?

- But there's another part that's snarling: (It's no great accomplishment, she almost took you, you almost fell into her trap, it's all the same -)

(yes, yes, Hermione would hate you if she found out -)

(And are you going to tell Bill?)

You sit staring at the wall of your bedroom, feeling lost and alone. If only you hadn't followed her upstairs. If only she hadn't been so beautiful.

If only.

What are you going to do? Are you going to tell Bill? Are you going to tell Hermione?

Almost immediately, the voices scream -

(Yes! Tell them, let them know how evil Fleur is!)

(Hermione with absolutely, completely, undeniably hate you -)

(Never forgive -)

(And your whole family -)

(But it's the truth, you need to get it out, it'll feel awful at first but at least they know, at least -)

You're so scared. This isn't supposed to be happening. No, no, no -

You bury your head in your hands and sob. This is so pathetic. You're so pathetic. What do you do now? Why did this have to happen?

This is just awful. This is the worst thing you've ever done.

Taking a deep breath, you make your decision.

And turn back to Fleur, dragging your feet heavily across the floor.

(Fool.)

a/n - that was exactly one thousand words! and yep, the rest of the chapters will be, too. :) thank you very much to lady phoenix fire rose for the prompts and the judges of the hogwarts games for the pairing.