A/N: This is kinda odd but I got an idea and I watch too much Grey's Anatomy and just went with it. I've been deliberately vague about the medical conditions/procedures because I'm not a doctor and I felt that for the purposes of this story there's no need to get caught up in the details of that anyway.
Title from the awesome Talain Rayne/Meg Lynch song Dear Sister, Your Brother.
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The first time they meet they are far too young to know it.
Little Santana Isabella Lopez is on her way home from the hospital, just three days old, bundled up and held tightly to her father's chest while her mother stays in the hospital with her brother.
Brittany Susan Pierce is six months old and she's finally stopped crying now that the experts here have sorted out the painful rash that the doctors in her small town couldn't. She's clinging to her mother's shoulder when a man and his baby daughter step into the elevator.
Brittany's mum and Santana's father politely greet each other and the woman asks about the newborn, striking up a conversation about their respective children. Her mum gently pats down Brittany's wispy blonde hair and introduces her to the baby.
Brittany turns her head slightly at the noise and her curious gaze settles on a tuft of thick dark hair and a pair of sleepy dark eyes.
Neither of them will remember it of course.
-x-
The second time they meet is in the playroom at the hospital.
Seven year old Santana Lopez has spent all day building the perfect Lego town. One of the houses even has a swimming pool like her house does. She made her best friend Quinn's house too and put it next to hers even though Quinn lives two streets away. Lego is Santana's favourite thing in the world, besides her older brother Lucas, and her dad says that once she's out of the hospital he's going to buy her the police station set that she's been wanting since forever. She's the best Lego builder in her class, even better than all the boys and her teacher Miss Stanley says she should be an architect but Santana's not sure what that is. She just likes building stuff.
Brittany Pierce has only been in the playroom for four minutes but she watches with wide eyes and mouth open as the tiny brunette works on her creation. The other girl has her tongue sticking out of her mouth and her brow furrowed in concentration while she tries to finish the last house on the block. There are a couple of boys playing with trucks in the corner but all Brittany can focus on is the girl and her creation before her.
"Did you make this?" she asks, eyes sweeping over the carefully placed blocks on the floor.
Santana finally notices her presence, smiling smugly and nodding her head, frizzy curls falling all over the place.
"Yup. I made it today all by myself and nobody helped me."
Brittany's mouth opens even wider. In her seven and three-quarter years she's never seen anything like it. Back at the farm she's usually playing outside or with her dolls or reading old comics with her dad so she's never made anything with these coloured bricks before.
"Wow. You're really good at it."
Santana's grin grows. She likes being the best at things and she likes this pretty blonde girl telling her so.
"Thanks."
Brittany shyly shuffles a little closer, trying not to trip over her long limbs like she does sometimes. Her dad is always laughing and telling her that she'll grow into her body but she doesn't know what that means. She's been taking dance lessons though and she thinks it's helping.
"So…can I help?"
Brittany holds her breath and squints a little, really really hoping that she gets to play.
Santana narrows her eyes and studies the girl. Normally she would immediately say no because she doesn't want anyone to change or ruin what she's been working on for hours, but she doesn't want the two grown-ups in the room to tell her off again for not sharing. And she's also kind of lonely. She's been in this room all day, her parents only popping in a couple of times to check on her, and it might be nice to play with someone else.
"Okay –"
Brittany grins and bounces on the spot.
"–you can hand me blocks but you can't touch anything here," Santana finishes, gesturing to her Lego town.
The blonde nods and immediately scuttles over and sits next to Santana, careful not to touch anything yet. Despite being a lot bigger than the other girl, Brittany is a little bit scared of her.
But she still remembers her manners.
"I'm Brittany."
She holds out her hand to the other girl, just like her dad taught her. He always tells her that people like smiles, so she tries to give her biggest one.
Santana's eyes shift from the block between her fingers to the outstretched hand, before dropping the block and slapping Brittany's hand like the high-fives she's always doing with her brother.
"I'm Santana. I'm seven."
Brittany's hand hangs there for a second, confused about Santana not shaking it, before she realises what the other girl has said.
"I'm seven too! Well, seven and three-quarters. I'll be eight soon."
Santana nods. She suspected Brittany was older because the girl is so much taller than her. Although lots of people in her grade are taller than her. Her brother calls her a midget even though he's almost nine and not that much bigger than her. He says that's because he's sick.
"Why are you in the hospital?" Santana asks, noticing that Brittany doesn't have a bracelet on her wrist like she and her brother and lots of other kids in here do. "Are you sick too?"
Brittany shakes her head.
"My sister got born last night. But now my family came to see her and it's really boring so my auntie dropped me off here to play."
Brittany watches Santana fix another block in place, suddenly very concerned about the smaller girl. She knows the hospital is for sick people but she's not good at making friends and she doesn't want her new friend to be unwell.
"Are you here because you're sick?"
She's relieved when Santana shakes her head, before proudly launching into the story of her birth and her brother's illness, a story she's told to everyone she's ever met. Brittany doesn't understand some of the words Santana says, although neither does Santana really, but she's got the gist of it by the end.
"Yup, I'm like a super hero," Santana brags. "My mum and dad went to a science place and made me full of all the good stuff so that I can help my big brother stay alive."
Brittany's mouth drops open. She's positively scandalised. It's like something out of the comics she's read with her dad.
"No way. I've been wanting to become a super hero my whole life! That's the coolest thing ever."
Santana shrugs, thoroughly impressed with the attention from the other girl.
"Yep. I'm pretty great. Now they have to take something from inside my bones..." she trails off, eyebrows narrowing in thought, "...I forget what it's called but it'll make my brother better and dad's going to buy me Lego and mum says we get to go to Disneyland once my brother is better."
Brittany's mouth drops even further. She's always wanted to go to Disneyland. Longer than she's wanted to be like one of the super heroes out of her dad's old comics.
"Wow. You're so lucky. Do you have a superhero suit?"
Santana's smile falls into a scowl quickly.
"No. My mum said I'd look silly and that girls can't be super heroes. But that's not true because The X-Men have lots of girls and there's Super Girl and Catwoman. She only likes to buy me stupid dresses so she won't buy me a suit, but my Abuela sent me some Spiderman pyjamas that I wear sometimes."
Santana smiles, thinking about the time she was Spiderman and her brother was The Lizard and chased her around their house. It wasn't so much fun when they got told off for rough-housing because it's not good for Lucas to get hurt, but before that it was the most fun ever.
"Wow," Brittany breathes out, before frowning in concentration. "What's an Aboola?"
Santana giggles. "My Abuela. She's my grandma but she's not from 'Merica so she has a Spanish name.
Brittany smiles, so excited about her new friend. She loves learning new things and she's learned so much today already. She's never met anyone like Santana and she's never seen anyone with such dark hair or someone who can speak Spanish or make such cool things with those Lego bricks.
Santana is definitely her new favourite person, even more favourite than her new sister. Although Brittany won't tell her sister that because she doesn't want to hurt her baby feelings.
But eventually Brittany has to go back to her family, and she and Santana say their goodbyes. Despite Brittany's father and various relatives checking in on her every so often, she'd noticed that there's been no sign of Santana's parents. A fact that Santana waves away when she mentions it, telling Brittany that they are always with her brother because he's sick and she's not.
Santana assures her that she will be here tomorrow, and Brittany is excited to spend some more time with her new friend.
.
Brittany gets her dad to drop her off in the playroom first thing after seeing her mum and baby sister the next morning, much more eager to see Santana. She'd talked about her to her father endlessly last night, recounting her afternoon with the other girl right up until she was being tucked in and falling asleep. Plus, her sister has a name now, Olivia, and Brittany can't wait to tell Santana.
Blue eyes scan the room and fall in disappointment when she realises that Santana isn't there. That's not the only thing she notices though, gasping in shock when she sees that Santana's Lego town has been demolished, the coloured bricks taken apart and now filling up a big clear plastic box.
Santana was so proud of her town yesterday and Brittany knows her friend is going to be so upset about it being wrecked, so she bites her lip and decides that she's going to rebuild it for Santana. Santana has the best smile and Brittany doesn't want it to go away when the girl finds out that her town is gone.
So she sets about trying to rebuild it, despite not knowing what she's doing. She knows it's not going to be as good as Santana did it because Santana told her that she's a Lego champion, which Brittany had no idea even existed, but she's going to do her best.
.
Brittany's not doing a very good job of making a Lego town and feeling more disheartened with every brick she fixes down. She's just not good at this stuff, like she's not good at numbers at school. She's much better at spelling and drawing. Some boy with red hair came over and wanted to play and Brittany felt really bad telling him to go away, because she's normally the best at sharing her toys, but she knows how protective Santana is over her Lego and she doesn't want the boy to ruin it even more or for Santana to come in and see Brittany playing with someone else. Plus, it's been like a really long time and Santana's still not here. Santana promised she'd be here and Brittany is starting to worry.
She glances around the room, noticing that the two grown-ups looking after all the kids in the room have their backs turned to her. Brittany's favourite movies are adventure movies and she loves exploring her farm and she's really good at hide and seek. She's brave and good at being sneaky. She knows she needs to find Santana to make sure she's okay, so she checks one more time to make sure that the grown-ups aren't looking, before quickly opening the door and slipping outside.
She holds her breath the entire time, not letting it go until she's down the hall. Lucky that she practices holding her breath in the bath. Thankfully she's already tall enough to see through the glass in the doors into the rooms, scanning them quickly as she goes.
Although it's not her height that helps her find Santana.
Brittany hears someone crying, loud enough to hear them from the corridor, and her heart sinks.
Somehow she knows it's Santana.
She quickly moves farther down the hall and towards the sound, too quickly though, her legs tripping over themselves like they do sometimes. She hits the deck but she's used to it and bounces right back up again and shakes it off. She really can't wait until she grows into her body if that's what her dad says will help.
When she gets closer to the crying she steps up on her tippy toes and presses her nose right up against the glass, her heart breaking when she sees her friend.
Santana is crying, sobbing really, laying on her side facing Brittany, her face red and her eyes closed. Brittany feels like she's going to cry too because she doesn't like it when other people cry, especially her new friend Santana. Santana is so small, not like the other seven year olds Brittany knows from school, and Brittany doesn't want her to be hurt. Santana told her that she wasn't sick.
She doesn't know what to do and she's too scared to go inside the room so she just watches. Watches Santana cry while the woman that Brittany knows is a nurse because she's wearing those pink pyjamas stands behind Santana and does something to her back with big bandaids. She can hear Santana crying out that it hurts and that she wants her mum and Brittany glances around the room but Santana's parents aren't there. She wonders why they're not there when Santana is so upset. Her mum and dad are always there when she's upset or hurt. Her mum sometimes gives her ice cream and sings to her to cheer her up too.
She's not standing there long though before she hears her name being called from down the hall, turning to see her dad giving her a stern look like he did that time she used her markers on their kitty Lord Tubbington, and Brittany knows she's in trouble for running away.
After a brief scolding they walk back to her mum's room and she tells her dad about Santana and why she was crying. He calms her down, reassuring her that Santana will be okay and that the doctors and nurses will make her feel better.
Brittany believes everything her dad tells her so she feels better, determined to return the next day when Santana is feeling better like her dad says she will be. They can build another town tomorrow.
But Santana doesn't show up the next day either, and Brittany sits in the bed with her mum and cries.
Brittany's family brings Olivia home that afternoon and by the next week her friend Tina has a new puppy to play with and between her baby sister and the new puppy Brittany's mostly forgotten all about the friend she made at the hospital.
-x-
The third time they meet Santana is running away from one of the nurses.
Melinda The Tyrant has been a bitch to her all morning while they were doing blood tests and Santana just wants to mess with her, so she sneaks out of her room and down the corridor. Most people here know her, she's been here often enough, so she tries to move quickly and stay out of sight, holding the back of her hospital gown closed so that nobody can see her underwear. Despite the fact that she knows the ins and outs of this place she's not really heading anywhere, she just doesn't want to be there when Melinda comes back. Then the frumpy nurse will have to waste her time searching for Santana. Santana will get her jollies where she can in this place. Especially since she's missing Quinn's 15th birthday tomorrow. She's really pissed off about that. And she's extra annoyed because she was totally going to kiss Puck which is kind of a big deal. Santana's kissed a few guys in her fifteen years but every girl in their class wants to hook up with Puck. Sure, his popularity is the main reason Santana wants him, but he's not that gross as long as he doesn't talk or touch her too much.
She doesn't get too far down the hall when she hears The Tyrant's voice, so she ducks into the closest room and stands against the wall, peering out covertly to make sure she hasn't been discovered.
"I can see your butt."
Santana's head whips around at the same time that her hands reach around to close the gown behind her back. She finds a blonde girl about her age in her own hospital gown sitting up in one of the beds, scratches down half her face and her left arm in a cast.
"Fucking hell, what happened to you? You get run over or something?"
The blonde girl smiles and doesn't seem put off by Santana's abrasiveness.
"Nope. I was riding my dirt bike and got distracted. Next thing I know I'm waking up with my bike on top of me and my arm looking all wrong and really hurting."
Santana winces in sympathy and walks up to the girl's bed, picking up the chart on the end and flipping through the pages because she kind of knows what she's looking for and what it means after all this time.
"Huh, you've got a concussion too, Miss Brittany Susan Pierce. Hey, we have the same blood type. And at least they've got you on the good drugs."
"Are you allowed to look at my chart like that?"
Santana shrugs. "I don't know. Nobody's ever stopped me before."
"Are you in here a lot?" Brittany asks after a moment, her voice a little more solemn at the prospect.
"Kind of."
Santana looks up from the chart and the sympathetic expression on Brittany's face really bothers her. Her whole life everyone has looked at her brother that way and she never wants people to look at her like that. Like she's dying.
"I'm not sick though," she hastens to add. "My older brother is and he needs bone marrow and stuff from my body to stay alive…blah blah blah."
She's tired of telling this story. When she was little she used to love telling everyone she met about how she's special because she was born to help her brother, but now it's not such a fun story. Not when her brother keeps getting sick and she keeps ending up in the hospital with him.
After putting back the chart she shifts a little closer to the bed. She's not sure why, but she's kind of intrigued by the blonde. And despite the scratches and cuts across half her face, she's actually really pretty. Even prettier than Quinn, Santana thinks. Her eyes are super blue and clear. She really likes them.
"That's awesome," Brittany replies, smile back on her face. "Being able to save your brother's life, I mean."
Santana grimaces. It is awesome. She loves Lucas and she never wants him to be sick. But it's also really painful sometimes. And really inconvenient because she always has to go into the hospital when she has something cool planned with her friends and it always interrupts her cheer training, and every time she goes into the hospital everyone promises her that it will be the last time and it never is.
"Yup," she says simply.
Brittany looks at her like she's confused and might ask another question, so Santana gets in first and changes the subject.
"So you ride dirt bikes huh? Isn't that kind of dangerous for a fifteen year old?"
"That's part of why it's so much fun!"
"Yeah, that's also why half your face is looking very Freddie Krueger and you've got plaster wrapped around your arm."
Brittany rolls her eyes. "Have you ever even been on a dirt bike?"
"I live in the suburbs. I don't think we even have dirt bikes there."
"Well then you should come to my farm and I'll take you riding."
Brittany gives her a big smile and Santana feels something in her stomach flutter. Weird.
She takes a seat in the chair next to Brittany's bed, already forgotten all about hiding from The Tyrant.
"You know you don't even know my name and you're inviting me to your house."
Brittany seems to blush at that a bit and it's kind of cute. Not that Santana thinks that Brittany is cute.
"I'm Santana."
Brittany's brow furrows for the briefest of moments before it relaxes again.
"Nice to meet you Santana, I'm Brittany, although you already know that."
After that they don't shut up for the next hour. Brittany tells Santana all about her life on the farm with her sister Olivia and how there's only like 200 kids in her school which Santana almost can't believe and how they had to come into the city hospital because she needed a plastic surgeon to stitch up her face so it didn't scar. Santana tells Brittany why she's on the run from The Tyrant and about her best friend Quinn and the Cheerios and how annoyed she is that she'll miss Quinn's birthday party. She tells her about how sore her back is going to be tonight and tomorrow and for a while after and how she won't be able to go to practice for ages.
She doesn't tell Brittany about Puck though, and she doesn't want to think about why.
Santana likes talking to Brittany because the other girl is funny and quirky and like no one she's ever met before, certainly nothing like Quinn and Rachel, and she goes from sitting on the chair beside the bed to sitting on the end of it facing Brittany.
One of the awesome nurses, Sophia, who always indulges Santana's little rebellions, comes in to check on Brittany but promises she won't give up Santana to The Tyrant.
"Where are your parents?" Santana asks, finally realising that no one else has come into the room this whole time except Sophia.
"Mum came up with me because my dad stayed home to work and look after Olivia. I have to be in here overnight because of the concussion and mum's staying at a hotel so she's there checking in and calling home and then she's coming back."
Santana bobs her head in understanding. She's glad that Brittany won't be alone all afternoon and evening. She knows how shit that is.
"What about you?" Brittany adds. "Scary nurse is looking for you but your parents must be too, right?"
Santana feels a weight fall heavy in her gut.
"Nah, they're with Lucas."
She says it as casually as possible, coupled with a smile, and while she's not sure Brittany totally buys her nonchalance the blonde doesn't question her further.
They talk for a little while longer about Brittany's best friend Sam, Santana trying to get the blonde to admit that she like likes him, but Brittany is resolute that they are just friends. And there's something about the way that Brittany coyly says that he's not her type that gives Santana pause.
She doesn't have a chance to press it further though, because Sophia pops her head in the room and warns Santana that it's nearly time for her procedure and she should get back to her room.
"Crap," Santana whines, really not looking forward to what's about to happen. "I better go."
"Can I come see you? After, I mean."
Santana glances up and sees the bashful expression on Brittany's face and her stomach flutters again. She doesn't want to think about why it did that, but she knows she's going to be sore and groggy and alone tonight and she really doesn't want to be.
She gives the other girl her room number and tells her what time would be best to come by, pretending to be all casual about it when really she's feeling kind of shaky and her stomach is super tight with nerves. She suddenly feels like she's setting up a date or something.
Brittany smiles and wishes her luck and Santana almost walks into the doorframe as she's walking out, still trying to keep her gown closed behind her so Brittany doesn't get another glimpse of her underwear.
.
Santana hears her name being called softly and opens her eyes. The lights in her room are dimmed but she wasn't sleeping. She feels groggy and sore laying on her side since coming out of the anaesthetic but she hasn't been able to fall asleep. Plus, she'd be lying if she said she wasn't waiting for Brittany to come visit. Her dad had stopped in briefly before heading home hours ago and let her know that her mother is staying with Lucas. She hadn't expected anything different, he is the one who's always almost dying after all. It's just…she's always by herself.
She smiles when she sees Brittany standing there a little awkwardly, a sweater over her hospital gown, sling around her neck and her bottom lip worried beneath her front teeth.
"Hey Britt," Santana mumbles, barely registering that the nickname leaves her lips.
Brittany seems to notice though and smiles.
"How are you feeling?
Santana tries to sit up and winces a bit. She's on painkillers but her lower back is still tender and sore. She knows some people barely feel any pain at all afterwards but she's never that lucky.
Brittany steps forward as if to help her but there's not much she can do and she's down a functioning arm anyway, so she mostly stands there looking worried.
"I'm fine," Santana finally answers. "A little sore but I'm okay."
She smiles to prove the point, but the blonde still looks wary.
"I wanted to come in earlier," Brittany explains, "but my mum only just left and I thought your parents might be here or something."
Santana nods, not all that eager to talk about her parents. She gestures to the chair beside her bed, "You should sit."
She watches as the other girl moves the chair as close as possible to the bed and takes a seat.
"How's your head feeling, Evel Knievel?"
"I'm good. Honestly I think my mum just pressured the doctors to keep me here so she can have a night in a city hotel."
Brittany grins at her own joke and Santana's stomach flips again. It really needs to stop doing that.
"And this might be weird," the blonde continues, "but I think we've met before."
Santana tilts her head and furrows her brow. "Huh?"
"I told my mum about you and she thought your name sounded familiar," Brittany hastens to explain. "I mean it's a really pretty name but it's not super common, especially where we're from. She said that when my sister was born here I spent an afternoon in the kids' playroom and that I made a friend called Santana who had built a Lego town. I remember that. It's the first time I'd played with Lego."
She pauses and smiles to herself, obviously recollecting the memory of it.
Santana feels a pull in her gut because she used to be obsessed with Lego. But so are lots of kids, and her natural scepticism kicks in.
"That doesn't mean it was me," she counters gently.
"Well apparently I'd told my mum that Santana was here because her brother needed stuff from her bones to make him better. That she was a superhero because she was born to help him."
Santana feels her breath catch in her chest because that's exactly what she used to tell people. Back when she was too young to understand how horrible the whole situation is.
She can see the emotion and recognition on Brittany's face and wishes she could remember her. She can't though. She's played with so many kids in that playroom that she can't remember Brittany.
"I was almost eight," Brittany adds. "And you said you were seven the first time you gave your brother bone marrow…"
Santana nods, not quite sure what she's feeling. She remembers crying that night and wanting her mum and how only her dad came in for a little while before going back to Lucas' room. She remembers how they never went to Disneyland because Lucas took a long time to feel better and then he got sick again. She remembers her parents telling her she had to go back to hospital because Lucas was sick again and how she felt like she'd done something wrong because she was supposed to make him better but she couldn't. She remembers asking her mother last year if she would have even been born if Lucas was born healthy and the silence and then awkward assurances given in response. She remembers all the birthday parties she couldn't have because her parents were too busy with Lucas. She remembers being on her own a lot.
The emotions must be playing on her face because Brittany reaches forward with her good arm and slides her hand into Santana's, the brunette lost in her own thoughts and not even realising until she feels the other girl's hand tighten around hers.
Santana keeps her eyes down because they're filled with tears and she doesn't like people seeing her cry, but Brittany doesn't push her to talk. She just holds her hand.
After a moment she composes herself, sniffing and finally lifting her head to look at Brittany. The other girl smiles back softly, like she's got all the time in the world for Santana. It feels nice. Nobody ever really has time for her. Her parents are always with Lucas or working to pay for his treatments. Quinn is constantly busy with Finn or her parents and their church stuff. Rachel is always distracted with her Broadway ambitions and Puck doesn't care about anything or anyone all that much.
"That's pretty crazy that we've met before," Santana finally concedes.
"Yup. Like fate laid a hand or something."
They share a smile and then Brittany launches into a story about the time she fell off a horse because she knows Santana needs a distraction. She tells Santana story after story and ends up sitting at the bottom of Santana's bed, a reverse of their positions earlier that morning in Brittany's room.
"You have a really pretty laugh," Brittany tells her while Santana's still giggling from one of Brittany's stories. "And your nose scrunches all cute."
Santana feels her cheeks flush and looks down at her hands playing with the blanket.
People compliment her all the time; boys telling her she's hot or Quinn telling her that's she's skinny, but this feels different. When boys say it it's because they want to touch her boobs and when Quinn says it it's because she's jealous. But Santana can tell by the way Brittany's eyes soften and her lips curl up that her new-old friend is complimenting her for no reason other than because she means it.
"Thanks," she manages to mumble, glancing back up and returning Brittany's smile.
And maybe it's that disarming smile Brittany's beaming back at her, or the fluttering in her chest, or the pain medication, or everything combined, but Santana watches her own hand reaching out to Brittany's, her fingers slipping beneath pale ones and gripping slightly in a way that might look awkward but feels completely natural, especially when Brittany's fingers squeeze back.
Suddenly Santana's aware of just how close they are, how Brittany's knees are pressing against her own as they sit opposite each other and how Santana doesn't mind at all. How having Brittany this close feels completely natural even though her heart is hammering in her chest. It feels intimate and safe.
She lifts her gaze from their joined hands and finds Brittany's bright blue eyes staring at her openly. Eyes that make her want to tell all of her secrets. Eyes that tell her she won't be judged.
"I overheard my mum and dad talking to Lucas' doctor," Santana says solemnly, eyes darting back down to their hands, "and he said that if this doesn't work again I'll probably have to give Lucas half my liver. I looked it up online and it's a huge surgery. I'd be recovering for a couple of months. And I love my brother it's just…" she bites her lip, knowing that what she's going to say sounds horrible but now that she's started she can't stop. "I don't want to do that."
Santana can't look up to see Brittany's reaction, keeping her head down to shield herself from it and hide her tears. It feels good to say it though. To finally say the words to another person.
The grip on her hand tightens reassuringly.
"I know that makes me a terrible person," she continues as more tears fall and her shoulders start to heave with the effort of holding back the full force of her emotions. "But nobody ever asks me what I want. They just tell me what my brother needs and what will happen to me and when we're going to the hospital. That's pretty much the only time my parents talk to me."
She sniffs and uses her free hand to wipe at her eyes, thinking about how little she actually speaks to her parents. How little they know about her life. She knows it's not all their fault. Between taking care of Lucas and having to work like crazy to pay for his treatments and operations Santana knows her parents barely have time for anything. But she's still their kid too. It's still not fair.
"And then they look at me like I'm supposed to save him. Everyone does. And he keeps getting sick again and everyone knows it's my fault because I can't make him better. It's the one thing I'm supposed to be able to do, that I'm literally made for, and I can't. If I can't even do that, what am I good for?"
At that she can't hold back the wave of emotion any longer and she breaks down, sobbing with her head in her hands. Still, she feels as if a weight has been lifted from her chest, finally saying the fears that have been haunting her out loud. How inadequate she always feels. How worthless.
She feels the other girl shuffle to her side slightly and lift her good arm around to rub the small of Santana's back. Santana's not usually a hugger or one for physical affection at all but this is nice. It's comforting. It makes her feel like maybe she's not a monster for thinking these things.
"It's not your fault that your brother is still sick," Brittany tells her sincerely. "It's not your job to save him. That's the doctor's job."
Santana shakes her head. "Brittany, you were born because your parents wanted a family. The only reason they had you was because they wanted you. I was made in test tubes and shit. I was born for a reason and if my brother hadn't been born sick then I wouldn't have been born at all."
Santana wipes at her eyes and lifts her head, ready to look at the other girl again, and Brittany shuffles around back to where she'd been sitting in front of her. They sit in silence for a moment before Brittany speaks up.
"Why does it matter why you were born?"
Santana quirks an eyebrow and Brittany bites her lip in thought.
"When I do a jump on my bike I get this sense of peace for those few seconds I'm in the air and sometimes I think to myself, this is what I was born for. That feeling. And then other times when I'm dancing and I forget anyone else is around me and all I can feel is the music flowing through my body I swear that that's what I was born for. Or then there's that joyful feeling when I'm laughing at one of Olivia's silly knock-knock jokes that she can barely get out because she's already giggling too much. Or the comfort of hearing the rain at night on our tin roof. Or that excited anticipation as the lights go down when I go to the movie theatre. But it's not one of those things, it's all of those things."
She reaches forward to sweep back some dark hair behind Santana's ear.
"You were born healthy and smart and beautiful and you can do anything you want," the blonde continues. "We're sitting in a hospital surrounded by people who are sick or dying. People who would do anything to feel that freedom of flying through the air or dancing to their favourite song or laughing with someone they love. It doesn't matter why you were born, Santana. What matters is that you were born."
Santana feels Brittany's words like a punch in the stomach and nods, a few rogue tears slipping down her cheeks while the blonde just offers a goofy smile and brushes her tears away with her good arm.
"You know you're kind of a genius."
Brittany's grin grows. "I prefer the term unicorn."
.
After that intense conversation they end up giggling and laughing and talking until they are both tired and ready for sleep.
Santana doesn't really want Brittany to go, wishing that this was just a sleepover at her house rather than what it is, and Brittany seems reluctant too, but there's nowhere for the blonde to sleep, especially with her busted arm.
"I'll come see you tomorrow before I leave. Then we can swap numbers and stuff."
Santana nods and sits up a little to see Brittany off, the blonde now standing a little awkwardly beside the bed.
"Okay well," Brittany stutters out, "have a good sleep."
And Santana is not at all expecting it when Brittany leans over and kisses her cheek, soft lips pressing against her skin for a brief moment before the blonde pulls back, looking like she's kind of surprised herself. But it's nice, a warmth flushing through Santana.
It certainly wasn't the kiss she had been expecting this weekend.
Maybe it was better.
-x-
The last time they meet Brittany is wandering the halls of the hospital completely lost. She'd raced over there from work when she'd gotten the call that her best friend Tina was in labour but as soon as she'd gotten here she'd realised that things were going to be a while. She'd stayed around trying to help but was mostly in the way so Tina suggested that Brittany go down to the cafeteria for a coffee. Honestly Brittany was kind of relieved to get out of that room for a while. Sam can handle his wife since it's all his fault anyway.
She swears she's been following the signs but she seems to be walking around in circles with no cafeteria in sight. She finally gives in and walks up to one of the information desks and stands behind the only other person in line who seems to be waiting on information from the nurse at the desk.
"He's gone into surgery," Brittany overhears the nurse telling the woman. "It's routine so there shouldn't be any complications but it will still be a couple of hours and then he'll need to wake up. He should be ready for visitors by 4pm."
Brittany hears the woman sigh and thank the nurse before turning to walk away and when they come face to face Brittany's heart stops.
"Santana."
She whispers out the name of the girl who has never left the back of her mind in seven years and sees the other woman freeze, shock evident on her face too.
"Brittany?"
A huge smile breaks across the blonde's face and her heart flutters when she realises she's been remembered. Her eyes flick down Santana's body quickly before settling back on her face. If Brittany thought Santana was beautiful when they were teenagers she is completely overwhelmed with how gorgeous the brunette is now. The angles of her face are more defined but she still has those beautiful round cheeks. And those lips. And those dark eyes. Brittany's brain almost short circuits. Especially when she notices Santana's beaming smile.
"Oh my god," Santana spits out in disbelief, her own eyes darting down to look Brittany over. "You have no idea how hard I tried to find you."
Brittany frowns in confusion at her words but their reunion is interrupted by the nurse calling back Santana, who turns her attention back to her.
"Since you're his emergency contact we can call you once your boyfriend is ready for visitors," she informs Santana, who thanks her again and nods before turning back to the blonde.
Brittany feels her stomach drop at the mention of Santana having a boyfriend but she brushes it aside and focuses on the excitement of seeing her old friend again, the brunette taking her by the forearm gently and pulling them out of the line to the other side of the hallway.
"This is crazy," Santana tells her, big smile still on her face. "I can't believe that I spent so long trying to find you and then years later I just run into you. And in this fucking hospital of all places. How have you been? Why are you here? Are you okay?"
Brittany watches Santana's eyes scan her body again, sees the genuine worry on her face and moves quickly to reassure her.
"I'm fine, I'm just visiting. My best friend is in labour but it's going kind of slow so I tried to find the cafeteria but I got turned around. I've never been much good with directions."
"Even with all that dirt bike riding you used to do?"
Santana smirks and Brittany feels her own face light up even more, pleased that Santana has remembered that about her.
"That I still do," she corrects her.
"Awesome," Santana grins. "Anyway I still know my way around this place like the back of my hand. Do you want to have a coffee and catch up?"
Brittany nods. She's never been so excited for a coffee in her life.
.
"You wouldn't believe how many different ways I tried to trick them into giving me your details," Santana says as she rolls her eyes. "I was relentless for months but they still wouldn't tell me a thing, especially since it was really your parent's information. It didn't help that I'd forgotten your last name because I was whacked out from the painkillers."
Brittany can't help but laugh at the ridiculousness of the situation now that she knows the whole story.
That morning seven years ago when she'd been released from hospital she'd gone to Santana's room but the brunette was fast asleep. Brittany's mum wanted to leave early and get back to the farm but Brittany didn't want to wake Santana, so instead she scribbled down her name, phone number and email address on a scrap of paper from the nurses' station and left it on the table next to Santana's bed. She'd waited for weeks afterwards to hear something and was heartbroken every day that passed without a word from the girl she'd definitely developed a crush on. After a while Brittany had stopped pining over her but the memories of that night had never left her.
Now to find out that it was all because of a piece of paper that was probably thrown away accidentally…she has to laugh.
"I'm glad I've found you now," Santana adds and the way she's looking at Brittany with a coy little smile makes the blonde's stomach flutter again.
That seems to be happening a lot since they ran into each other. Although not when Brittany remembers that Santana apparently has a boyfriend, one that's in surgery, even though the other girl doesn't seem too concerned about that right now.
"I heard the nurse talking about your boyfriend in surgery. Is he going to be okay?"
Santana rolls her eyes and shakes her head. "That's Puck, my idiot best friend. He hasn't been my boyfriend since I was sixteen and had my gay panic."
Brittany feels hope fill her chest at the news that Santana doesn't have a boyfriend and is in fact gay. She'd had a feeling that night but over the years she thought she might have been projecting a little too much.
"Anyway, he fell off a balcony a couple of days ago because he's a moron and today they're putting some steel rods in his leg. He's always doing stupid shit that lands him in the hospital and I've found that they give me more information and are nicer to me if they think he's my boyfriend."
Brittany nods. "You did always know how to work things around here."
"Except how to get the patient file of the girl who changed my life apparently."
Santana tries to say it offhandedly but Brittany hears the underlying seriousness in her voice and her eyes widen in surprise.
"It's true," Santana continues shyly, glancing down at her coffee. "I was so twisted around and miserable back then, but the things you said to me, the way you listened, the way you looked at me…it changed everything for me."
When Santana glances back up their eyes lock and it takes Brittany's breath away. The fact that so many years have passed and so much has happened and that they barely knew each other for any time at all is irrelevant because they still have this connection and clearly Santana feels it too.
There's something special about them and this time Brittany is not letting Santana go.
-x-
The next time they're in a hospital Brittany is crying and high-fiving one of the nurses after Santana has just given birth to their healthy baby girl.
.
.
Thanks for reading :)
When my dad passed away exactly a year ago today one of the biggest affects it had on me was realising how grateful and lucky I am to be alive and healthy. I don't want to get all soap-boxy but I think that sometimes everyone needs reminding of that…so don't waste it :)