Rachel lay slumped on her bed, which was rare when considering her usual upright posture: she didn't want to give off wrong appearances. Though tonight was different. Because tonight was possible the worst night she'd ever experienced in her sixteen years of existence. Why couldn't she had just put Jesse in that video? It seemed as though she could never let go of her unreasonable dream of appearing popular, and now, she had to pay for it. Jesse was refusing to answer his phone, whilst Finn had answered, though hung up before she managed to get a full sentence out.
She'd cried uncontrollably for the past hour or so, which had resulted in her feeling, well ...
exhausted, which was not like Rachel Berry. More worries crept into her, even about how Noah was feeling at this moment. She had to ruin what she had, as that's the way life always seems to run, especially Rachel's life.
From the table beside her bed, her phone (hopelessly thrown on the surface) lit up, making her brown eyes widen as she reached for it a little too eagerly. The screen read 1 new message. It was from Jesse. Her heart jumped silently within her chest in the hope that he'd decided to talk to her about it and maybe, just maybe forgive her.
As she opened it, despair fell across her face, her lips hanging slightly open.
Stop calling me Rachel. Don't you think you've done enough already?
The tears stifled in her eyes once more. Was this what it felt like to have a broken heart? The phone slipped from her fingers, before she placed them over her face, as if ashamed to even show it. Her clock read 11, so she thought that she should at least try to sleep, despite the fact she were dreading school tomorrow.
It was early morning when her eyes finally closed to an uncomfortable and short sleep.
It's six am when her alarm wakes her. Normally, she'd be fully energised within seconds of hearing the music, but not today. With a frown planted firmly on her face, she climbed from her bed, though wanting to curl under the covers and hide from the rest of the world more than anything.
Her usual morning routine was pushed aside as she slowly got herself dressed, not being able to stop herself fretting about what he day held. She'd have to face Jesse ... and Finn ... and Noah. The guilt was excruciating, and then there was the shame.
Time flew and soon she was walking into McKinley High, head drooping slightly to avoid seeing anyone who might send a sly comment her way. It seemed to be working, but Rachel knew it wouldn't last all day.
After a quick stop at her locker, she headed towards her first class, yawning loudly to herself.
Contrary to the hours she'd lay awake at night, these ones seemed to disappear in seconds, though she felt worried as she hadn't seen Jesse all day. Was he purposely avoiding her?
She was forcing herself to go to glee. Before entering the choir room, she walked off her nerves, feeling all of her muscles shake like jelly whenever loud laughs came from her fellow club members. Rachel would always succeed in working herself up for no reason and this even was clearly not an exception.
Her shaking fingers wrapped around the handle as she pushed the door open slowly, eyes wanting to shut immediately when seeing Finn throw a glance towards her, soon turning to face the other way, anger still brimming in his brown eyes.
"Ahh, Rachel. Nice of you to show up," Mr Schue looked at her from where he sat, nodding his head in the direction of the only free seat, which was fatefully sat between Finn and Noah. Eyes kept locked to the floor, she made her way over, the usual bounce of her step lost.
"Now that everyone's here, how about we start? Finn, Rachel, you gonna lead us through the song?"
Finn? Rachel searched desperately for Jesse, but couldn't find the dark haired boy sitting anywhere in the choir room. Maybe he was ill, or had something else to do. She convinced herself that his absence was nothing to do with the 'Run joey run' fiasco.
As she stood up slowly, she noticed that Finn didn't seem too happy about singing with her and this made her stomach tie in an uncomfortable knot. The look in his eyes shattered her confidence into a thousand piece. She sank back down into the chair.
"I think someone else should take my solo my Schue," her brown eyes remained locked on the floor beneath her, avoiding his gaze.
"You sure Rachel?" Mr Schue frowned in confusion as she nodded quickly, biting her upper lip," Oh, okay then. How 'bout it Tina?"
Rachel hoped that glee wouldn't be like this again, though knew that it would be.
By Friday, she felt absolutely exhausted, letting her aching body drop onto her bed when she finally arrived home. The day had just seemed to drag on, where all she wanted to do was sleep. Her fingers reached for the vitamins supplements, slipping some into her mouth, feeling it slide along her throat painfully.
"Urgh," she moaned, rolling onto her back. She could not be ill! Not now, and if she was, what did she have? The vitamins hadn't helped maintain her energy and her head was constantly thumping.
She even had to skip a dinner with her parents from feeling so hopelessly tired. Her limbs felt heavy and completely limp. It was too much effort to even try moving from her. She tried to swallow a spoonful of cereal, which her dad had brought up, feeling sorry for her, and found herself wincing at the sharp pain in her throat.
By the time he cam up to get the bowl, she had drifted into a light and restless sleep, her brows furrowed in discomfort.
Rachel was horrified when she woke up the next morning, finding her perfect voice was gone. No matter how many time she'd attempted to speak, the words were barely understandable and oh so quiet. She practically forced herself into school, feeling that nothing should affect her impeccable attendance record, but nothing, or no one could make her go to glee that night. The smug grins on everyone's face would be too much to bare.
She'd felt the gaze of her English class as the teacher had asked her to answer a question, unaware of her lack of an ability to speak. Thank God that no one from glee had been there, and thankfully, she wasn't popular enough to have her problems spread around school.
Rachel gave a sigh of relief when the last bell of school rang blissfully in her ears. She scurried down the hallway, eyes widening when she noticed Kurt and Mercedes headed in her direction, though thankfully deep in conversation. As quick as wind, she fled the nearest corner, waiting anxiously for them to pass, until she felt a hand on her shoulder, jumping as she spin on her heel.
"Hey, Rachel," Mr Schue smiled crookedly at her slightly guilty look," You alright?"
With a small nod, she left him just standing there. Her dad had promised to pick her up ad, upon leaving the school, she noticed his shiny black car parked at the far end of the car park. Her pace quickened as she tried to reach the car without anyone from glee seeing. Although she knew that she wasn't exactly their favourite person and her absence may be welcomed, she felt guilty for missing the rehearsal, especially so close to Regionals
Mr Schue made his way to glee, still wondering why Rachel had been hiding around a corner. That girl was a complete mystery to him.
Holding this week's new song in his hand, he entered the room to see that everybody was already there. They all stopped their conversations as soon as he halted at the piano.
"Right guys, you're gonna love the assignment I've got this week. Literally. Being so close to Valentine's day, I decided that our theme for songs is going to be love. You're all gonna chose a love song which best applies to your love life now and sing it in front of everyone. You up for it?"
There was a flurry of conversation which hit the room, everyone happily chattering about what songs they thought would best suit them. His eyes ran over the seat which Rachel usually occupied to find it empty.
"Where's Rachel?" he felt himself frowning. Everyone shrugged, clearly not having being too bothered about whether she had decided to come or not. Even Finn appeared to like her less after the Run Joey Run incident.
"Perhaps she's ill Mr Schue. I haven't seen her all day," Artie smiled, though Kurt's voice cut across.
"I personally think she's too embarrassed to show her face around her after the video she made."
Glances were shared, and Mr Schue couldn't help to feel sorry for Rachel. He knew she sometimes had a tendency to be extremely irritation, but she always wanted the best for herself and other people.
"I've just seen her now and she didn't look ill," he was ignoring Kurt's comment now," Do you think she forgot that we had practice?" Of course that would not be an option with Rachel, but it seemed the only alternative at the moment.
"Maybe she moved to Israel," Santana smirked, eyes glistening as she spoke. A few of the members hid smirk.
Mr Schue shook his head. Had he just imagined seeing Rachel?
"Tina, you'll just have to take her solo for now. How 'bout you and Finn run us through it?" He handed them both a seat, signalling for Brad to begin, though in the back of his mind he was becoming slightly worried.
Rachel sighed, sitting in Spanish with Mr Schue's intense gaze on her. Though she had acted like she hadn't noticed, writing quick notes as he spoke. Her pen halted on the page when she heard Finn laugh loudly, and dared herself to look, seeing him smile at Santana. Her eyes widened slightly, before she forced herself to concentrate on the work and not her hopeless social life.
Feeling a tickle in the back of her throat, she let out a small cough, which began to turn into loud, echoing coughs around the room. She felt a few eyes on her, but pretended that nothing had happened and picked up her pen once more.
"You feeling okay Rachel?" Mr Schue asked. He seemed to be asking this a lot lately. She smiled as a reply, nodding her head ever so slightly. The bell saved her from having to justify herself and she shoved her books into her bag, making her way to the door as if an axe murderer were chasing her.
"Oh Rachel," Mr Schue suddenly remembered," We're gonna be having glee practice nearly every night until regionals. You know, being prepared for the competition. I''m sure vocal adrenaline will be hard at work right this very second."
Her mouth opened, though no words came out.
"I would have told you yesterday, but you weren't at practice," he raised his eyebrow, expecting an answer.
"I couldn't go," she looked down. The words had been quiet, and so croaky that even she could only just manage to hear what she said.
"What happened to your voice?" Mr Schue was now extremely worried.
Rachel frowned deeply," I have laryngitis."
As she spoke, the tickle in her throat grew and she was forced to let out deep coughs, turning slightly from Mr Schue.
"Is that why you didn't come to glee yesterday?" she nodded," Rachel, just because you can't sing right now, doesn't mean you can't come to rehearsals. We need you there. You know that, so please just come."
"I-I don't know," she shrugged," I should go."
Mr Schue watched Rachel walk away. He couldn't believe it. She couldn't sing at all; she could barely even talk. Sighing to himself, he wondered what else could go wrong.