--Pretend--
"Kira, what are you doing out here? The party's going on without you."
The sound of her voice, resounding like the clear ringing of bells, his name as sweet as a caress passing from her lips. It was a beautiful sound, soothing and distracting, grounding him back to reality from the flights of daydreams and useless lamentations.
Why was it the sound of her voice could both make his world standstill and turn completely upside down? Did she have any idea what kind of power she held over him, just with the single, sweet melody of her voice?
"Kira." Not so softly his time, her voice laced with firmer insistence. And still, he refused to answer, refused to turn around. Any rational man knew it was idiotic and possibly suicidal to blatantly ignore her, but he was a stubborn fool that way. Better to seem appear stubborn than pathetic.
"They're missing you in there."
He shook his head, his back to her as he stared unseeing at the skies above them. "No, not me. You should get back though."
Shrugging off his attempt to dissuade her, her voice softened, though ever more insistent. "Look at me. Kira." She sighed his name this time, an exasperated sound, and with a rustle of fabric, he could sense her coming nearer. Fully aware of every point of her proximity, the pressure of her hand was light against his shoulder, as she beckoned him to turn toward her, and he complied, refusing still to meet her eyes. Mumbling under her breath about ornery little brothers, she touched the opposite hand to his face, guiding his eyes to her view. Startled by what she found there, her expression softened, and slender fingers wiped away the tears spilling from his eyes. "Is this why you wouldn't look at me? Your tears? Silly man."
Their touch was warm and soothing, comforting as he leaned into the caress, eyes closing of their own accord, droplets glistening against the thick lashes that feathered over his pale skin. He exhaled softly, the tension fading from his body with the breath as she continued her gentle explorations, tracing her fingers over the shape of his mouth and nose, the slope of his jaw and chin, upward to the arch of each eye, tickling the fine tufts of hair at his ear.
After a moment, the touch was gone, slipping downward as she braced her hand against his shoulder, and she was suddenly leaning into him, her lips soft against his cheek, kissing away his remaining tears. His eyes fluttered open, gazing at her in awe as she pulled back just enough to look him in the eye. He reached out to take her hand, somehow desperate for the continued contact. She accepted without preamble, letting the joined limbs dangle in the small space between them, their fingers tightly enlacing.
"Feeling better?" At his silent nod, she smiled softly, leaning up to press a soft kiss to his cheek. "Kira…will you tell me why you were crying?"
"No…"
"Why not?"
"Because…"
She rolled her eyes, puzzled by the strange stubbornness, raising no protest as he suddenly drew her closer, not close enough for an embrace but close enough for the heat of his body to be comforting, rolling off of him in palpable waves. "Tell me why?" she pleaded softly, reaching up to brush away stray brown hairs shading his eyes, their soft lavender unreadable as they gazed down at her.
"Stupid reasons…illogical reasons…"
"Kira…" She smiled. "No, little brother, it's not like you to be illogical."
He laughed softly, the fleeting show of mirth fading into a melancholy smile. "Tears are the only price I can pay, Cagalli, in memory of them. It's the only thing I can give in penitence."
He leaned his head against her shoulder, despite his greater height, and she listened quietly, absently stroking his hair as she absorbed his broken, whispered words. "It's nothing but folly for me to be here, Cagalli."
"What are you talking about? Of course you should be here." She fingered the collar of his dress uniform, skimming her fingers downward to trace the metallic shape of the metal given for valor, and the new rank insignia resting proud and blatant against his breast. "You're just as much a part of this as the rest of us, Kira."
"No, I don't deserve it! It's nothing but sacrilege to go out there and celebrate, earning all their congratulations and respects, being treated like I did some great deed. I'm no hero, Cagalli! I'm nothing but a murderer! How can I pretend to be what they make me out to be when all I can remember is the faces of the people I've killed?"
"Oh, Kira. You are a hero, and you shouldn't deny it. Everything you did, all the things you've done, you did in the name of peace, Kira. You're not the only one with blood on his hands. You were a soldier, Kira. You did your duty. You played a huge part in saving us all, more than once. Those aren't the deeds of a murderer. Those are deeds of a hero."
She laid her hand against his chest, just over his heart. "You have the gentlest and purest heart of anyone I've ever met, Kira Yamato. You're a good man. Never forget that."
There was a long pause of silence between them, and she watched as tears pooled in his eyes once more. She reached up to wipe them away, but he caught her hand, brushing his lips against her fingertips in a fleeting kiss as he smiled. It was the same gentle smile she had come to adore so greatly, the same one she had come to think was special, reserved just for her, the smile that rendered his eyes, eyes the same rich hue of irises, warm and loving as they gazed at her.
She should not be reacting this way. His smile should not make her heart flutter. Her breath should not catch at the look in his eyes.
"Cagalli…stay with me awhile? I don't feel ready to go back just yet."
She nodded, feeling oddly shy as he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her tightly against him, her head tucked beneath his chin, back against his chest. His arms were strong and warm around her as they watched the stars together, Cagalli staring with the fascination of a child at the full face of the silver moon handing in the ebony skies above them, surrounded by the brilliance of thousands, countless thousands, of shimmering stars. "It's so pretty," she whispered, nestling closer to his warmth with a soft sigh of contentment.
"Hmm, yes. But it doesn't quite compare." He dropped a kiss to the crown of her head.
He should not love the feel of her so close to him.
"What doesn't compare?" she questioned, eyes still locked on the horizon rising above them.
He smiled, leaning his head downward to whisper in her ear. "To you, Princess. Didn't I tell you how beautiful you look tonight?"
She felt her face warm, glad for the cover of night to hide her mortified blush. "I'm not."
A low chuckle in her ear. The teasing warmth of his breath against her skin sent a shiver down her spine. His arms tightened around her, as if the shelter her from the cold he probably thought was the cause of her shiver. Didn't the idiot man know that it was his proximity and not the weather that made her react in such a way?
No. No, of course he didn't. He was Kira, and Kira was naturally oblivious to such things.
"You don't think so," he continued in the same low tone, "You're a vision, Cagalli. The most beautiful woman here tonight."
"Even more than Lacus?" Even as the words left her mouth, Cagalli winced, feeling instantly guilty. Even in her brash nature, to say such things was not like her. She harbored not ill-feelings toward the other girl; in fact, she greatly valued her friendship, but it was in times when Kira's attachment to her became painfully obvious that she could not rid herself of petty jealousies, and she envied Lacus the time and attention her twin gave her. Thinking about herself compared to the pink-haired Coordinator, she sometimes had no doubt which one could be found lacking in his eyes.
She faced her brother and the object of her contemplations with a wistful, apologetic expression. "I'm sorry, Kira, I shouldn't have-"
"Shh." He placed a finger over her lips, stopping her speech. "It's alright. I understand. Yes, Lacus is a lovely woman, but you, Cagalli…" His voice dropped an octave, taking on a husky quality, "You're a goddess."
"Kira…" She reached back, leaning closer as she intended to kiss his cheek, but he turned his head with a sudden movement, sealing his lips over hers.
The kiss, in all its awkwardness and simplicity, was the most beautiful thing she had ever experienced. Close-lipped and chaste, the contact was gentle, as his mouth softly brushed over hers, a feathery caress that inflamed her body and heart as he drew her closer, arms curving around her waist.
She reached back, tangling her fingers through the silky brown tresses at his nape, giving herself over fully to the feel of him, his lips, his arms, and his hands as they slowly, sensually trailed upward from her waist, skimming up her back, caressing the silken skin left exposed by her bare-backed dress. His touch left heated shivers in their wake.
In these few precious moments, they could pretend to be something they could never be. She was no longer Cagalli Yula Attha: Princess and Chief Representative of an entire country. He was no longer Kira Yamato, Ultimate Coordinator, esteemed pilot, decorated war-hero.
They were no longer twins separated at birth; siblings lied to their entire lives, allowed to fall in love, realizing the truth of their origins after it was already too late. They were simply a boy and a girl, no longer separated by chance or fate, society or station, now just lover who had longed for far too long from this embrace, one they wished could continue infinitely.
As they drew apart, and she leaned against him for support, her vision full of the rich purple of his eyes, mouth swollen and amber eyes dazed and dark, he smiled sadly, smoothing down the blond hairs that had escaped from her simple headdress. And unspoken agreement passed between them, for this one moment of pretend, that they must now both return to playing their roles and forget this moment, or perhaps not forget, but forever cherish in the dark corners of their hearts, never to be spoken of again.
She smoothed out imagined wrinkles in her dress, and adjusted the collar of his uniform, looking him wryly in the eye. A spark of her old fire in her eyes, and he grinned in response. One thing would always ring true. She would never change. She would always be his Cagalli. The one memory that would be his to forever hold on to.
And he was hers, in heart, body, and mind, until he breathed his last breath.
Taking a deep breath, she slipped her hand through his arm, guiding him back to the doorway. "Well, Admiral Yamato, will you do me the favor of escorting me back to the party?"
A swift, cordial bow and he kissed her gloved hand. "My lady, it would be my honor."
Princess and soldier, brother and sister, lover and lover, they stepped back into the ballroom, embracing once more their games of pretend.