Arl Eamon's Estate: Denerim
They said that if it rained before a battle, that it was the Maker crying over the shed blood of his children. Serena Cousland had a difficult time believing that the Maker would hold love for such terrible creatures as the Darkspawn she and the others would be facing come morning, and the implied action of grieving the Maker would be doing on their behalf did little to comfort her. It only meant that more people who were relying on her would die. The possibility that their deaths would be in vain was beginning to weigh heavily on her mind. She took a deep breath, trying to let the smell of the damp earth soothe her while she waited for Riordan along-side her brother-in-arms. The Senior Orlesian was currently in the hallway with a very confused and irritated Alistair who was demanding to be allowed to take part in their meeting.
'Just let it go love,' Serena thought as she closed her eyes and silently willed the future King to do her bidding. A few tense moments and choice words later, the blonde former Templar left, and Riordan moved into the room and shut the door soundly behind him.
He heaved a sigh then lifted his war weary gaze to search the faces of the two people waiting in the shared silence of those who knew what they were about to hear would not be pleasant.
"Well," the raven haired warrior at Serena's side prompted with a curt nod in the Orlesian man's direction, "what must you tell us that is so dark that it warrants you send away the man who will very soon be the King of these lands?" Riordan slid a hand over his face to hide his grim smile at the haughty man's tone.
"If you are attempting to imply that I was sent here to try and start laying the path for an Orlesian invasion then you are also implying that I take my oath to the Warden's very lightly," Riordan's tone turned to ice as he added. "I am very protective of my honor as a soldier and a Warden, Brother." The younger man nodded to show his respect, and the Senior of the group had to admit that he liked the boy's bold nature. "What I must tell you," the umber haired Warden said eyeing the two before him, "is how Wardens kill Archdemons. It is why we are the only ones who are able to stop a Blight…when an Archdemon dies its soul defects from its body and will attempt to attach to the nearest Darkspawn in order to rise once again. This works because Darkspawn are soulless beings. We humans however, are not. When a Grey Warden strikes the killing blow, the Archdemon's soul will attempt to burry itself within them, but the soul of an Old God cannot reside in a another soul's body and it is therefore destroyed. The catch…is that it will also kill the Grey Warden to strikes the final blow."
The two before him stared at him with a mixture of rage and abject horror in their gazes. "Now you see why I did not wish to impart this knowledge on your friend. Alistair will be King here, and he will do well in the position I think, part of that is because he is such a noble man. But as a noble man, he would never allow people he cares about to perish when he could be the one to do it instead."
"A wise course of action, thank you," Serena said in a tone that made her regal lineage show through. Riordan bowed respectfully at the copper haired woman, to show his thanks at her support. The Orlesian was not blind. He knew that she wielded exceptional influence over those who followed her, especially the future King.
"It is my intention that neither of you shall die either," Riordan informed the two young people. "As the Senior among you I will attempt to strike the final blow myself. If I fail however, the task falls to one of you." Serena Cousland and Aiden Amell nodded simultaneously as they said in unison, "Understood." As the two friends moved off down the hall Riordan couldn't help the feeling of dread that welled up within him. Why in the Maker's name a soul so young and bright as one of theirs would be allowed to be put out was beyond his comprehension. He shook his head and turned to go back into his room when suddenly a vice-like hand clamped down on his forearm.
Riordan whirled and found himself face to face with the angry blonde he had sent away earlier. "You will tell me what you told them," Alistair snarled in a tone very befitting of a King. It almost made the Orlesian smile. The boy was good in nature, strong in spirit, and none too surprisingly, fierce at heart.
Serena said good night to her brother then made her way towards her own chambers down the hall. She was a little surprised that Alistair was not inside impatiently waiting for her, but she was nearly startled out of her skin when she spotted Morrigan standing before her fireplace. "Andraste's…" the copper haired woman shook her head and grinned softly as the mage turned to face her. The rogue managed to not offend the Bride of the Maker by settling for a sigh instead of a small tirade on the merits of someone actually inviting you into their room. "Is everything alright?" The ebony haired goddess of a witch tipped her hips to one side and chewed her lower lip for a moment.
"No," she said softly, "tis not so at the moment. In fact I would dare to say that very little is right…"
"Okay, now you have my full attention and my unease," Serena said bracing her legs apart and folding her arms over her chest. It was an authoritative pose that she had adopted from watching her father, and perfected as the leader of their little band of walking oddities.
"I do not know how to tell you this, but suffice it to say that I know about the Grey Warden's sacrifice. I know that one of you must die on the morrow…but I also know a way in which none must perish to stop the Blight." Serena's steal blue eyes narrowed with suspicion, "What do you mean?"
"There is a ritual, one my Mother taught me, and the very reason why she sent me with you. If I were to lay with one of the male Warden's tonight and conceive a child, I could draw the soul of the Old God into myself and trap it." The witch spoke in a matter of fact tone, so straight forward and bedpan that Serena nearly giggled in frantic hopes that she was not hearing Morrigan correctly. Sleep with either Alistair or Aiden was what the witch meant, become pregnant with their child, and then submit that very child to the exposure of an Old God's soul…It was beyond Serena's currently feeble comprehension. She hadn't realized that she had moved to sit down on the edge of a nearby chair until Morrigan was looming over her.
"Now is not the time for you to lose your head Warden," the witch snapped, "and you are the only one who could convince either of those men to take part in the Ritual." Morrigan had known that what she would tell her friend would upset her, but she had not been prepared for the experience of actually seeing the pain she was causing a woman who had somehow become special to her. Serena was a woman to be admired. She kept her cool in the midst of constant chaos, she shielded others with her determination and her impossibly kind heart. Seeing this woman's face and knowing she was the cause of that grief. To be the pebble that finally shattered that composure was a burden that Morrigan knew she would carry with her for the rest of her life.
Serena blinked, her mind finally catching back up with the information she had just learned. A million things flew through her mind; memories of watching her adopted brother stumble blindly into his first love, she and Alistair sharing their first kiss, naming the very man she loved into a station that he hated and one that might end their relationship…She shut her eyes tightly, she had betrayed that man enough, and she would never jeopardize Aiden's own chance at happiness. Rage bubbled up in the rogue's belly, she tried to act rationally, tried to force herself to see this all from the other woman's point of view. The only thought that seemed to burn its way forward was how little Morrigan cared whether or not her Ritual would tear them all apart.
The shorter woman leapt back up onto her feet glaring now, with those eyes that could cut a person as surely as her daggers. Even in the light of the fire, Serena's eyes emitted a chill as she spoke. "You would dare ask me to coerce either my own brother, or the man I love into having sex with you! Not even just that, but the very act would assuredly result in a child being dragged into this before they were even born!" Serena knew she was very close to shouting loud enough that everyone in the Arl's estate could hear her, and inhaled sharply to remind herself to speak evenly. Her voice came out in a chilling hiss as she concluded with, "You had better get out of my room before I skin you alive witch,"
Morrigan fled with as much dignity as she could muster. She knew that the friendship she had held with Serena was gone, and it crushed her heart in ways she had never imagined possible. 'It could have been worse,' the witch tried to tell herself, 'you could have attempted to persuade Aiden…' Morrigan shuddered at that dark prospect. Serena's friendship had been almost expected, with the other woman's overly trusting and open hearted nature making her insufferably kind in the witches' original opinion. Unexpectedly the woman was also dedicated to her craft as a rogue, and was never afraid to put someone in their place, it was this natural command that had drawn Morrigan to her. Aiden on the other hand was quite possibly the truest sense of a friend that the Wild's apostate really had.
The black haired woman recalled how he had charmed her with flirtations, and how unexpectedly jealous she had been when the elven assassin had shown up and stolen the warrior's attention almost entirely…well admittedly perhaps not as instantly as it seemed in her memory. But she had felt, jilted in some way all the same. Imagine her surprise when he still flirted and offered gifts, either baubles of craft or conversation. There was still warmth between them. Not physical in any way, but still powerful enough to terrify her. What would the man's reaction to her betrayal be? She had seen what he could do to creatures that opposed him or angered him countless times, but she had only ever seen him faced by a betrayer once…such rage… She shuddered at the memory, so lost in her imagining that very anger cast on her that she ran headlong into the very man she was thinking of.
He caught her upper arms in his large hands to steady her and blinked down at her with his coal black eyes.
"Morrigan," Aiden Amell asked in a hesitant tone, "are you crying?" The tall mage watched his friend's face carefully trying to read any additional information he could in that golden gaze. She brushed her hands over her eyes in a way that told Aiden she hadn't realized the tears there, a fact that worried him even more. He had just been on his way to see his sister when Morrigan had come flying around the corner from the very hallway where Serena's rooms stood. Had the two women fought over something? And what would warrant such a reaction from the witch?
"I…tis nothing…" the ebony haired mage said quickly.
"Morrigan," Aiden said reaching out to snag hold of the woman's hand, preventing her from fleeing. He continued in a low voice, "You can't bullshit me, what's going on?
Maybe it would be better if they all hated her… "Morrigan, look at me, and tell me what's going on? You're scaring the man out of me just standing there like this."
'No one could change the man in you', the witch thought with a small chuckle. In an instant her mask was back on, a face she hadn't used with Aiden since long ago when their journey had only just begun. Its appearance startled the big man who was instantly on guard, being the brunt of one of Morrigan's mental showdowns was not something one easily forgot.
"Perhaps your voice of reason has not abandoned you like your sister's has her," she said haughtily. "I know a way in which none of you has to die, however the leader of our group has already informed me that my Ritual shall not take place. If you will excuse me," she huffed trying to push by the warrior. She should have known better, as Aiden easily reached out and hauled her back before him.
"Explain," he snapped, sounding more like he was addressing a subordinate soldier again rather than a woman he viewed as an equal and a companion. In a hushed matter-of-fact tone Morrigan told the raven haired man everything she had Serena, bracing herself for another storm of rage to be directed at her the moment she finished her careful speech. Instead Aiden stood there for a long moment in silence, his eyes and body language revealing nothing to the tense mage. "I see…and you asked my sister if she could convince either myself or Alistair to take part in said Ritual?" The Witch of the Wild's nodded, her lips drawn tightly together as if she were bracing for an attack. The action was telling to Aiden who nodded, "You had to know none of us would be happy about this," he stated in a tone that made Morrigan lift her gaze to meet his.
"I knew…but I also knew that not doing it would leave one of you to die…I thought that none of you would want that either," she snapped.
"We don't Morrigan, just like you don't want to see us die." Aiden's words delivered in that same even tone as always blew the tension that had been holding the witches' composure together right out of her. What was left was a woman who was very scared, and had no other way of helping. "Go to your rooms Morrigan," Aiden advised with a gentle push. Fear shot through the apostate's heart as she turned to look at her friend, his dismissal was maddening. Did he want to die, or risk Serena striking that final blow? "I will come and talk to you later," he said in a comforting tone that took the edge off of her panic.
Aiden watched the troubled woman go then turned to open the door to his own chambers. When he entered his heart jumped at the sight of Zevran sitting patiently in a chair near the fire. The tanned elf turned his golden-green eyes on the human which sparked as he smiled. "Ah there you are mi amante," Zevran said standing and moving towards his lover. The two embraced and instantly the elf could feel the tension in the other man. He pulled back and looked up at Aiden with questioning eyes, "You fear the battle tomorrow…this I know, but your eyes tell me that you are with fresh troubles. Tell me?"
The big human ran a hand back through his thick hair as he tried to find the right way to tell Zevran what he had just learned. The elf waited, knowing that his lover was not remaining silent simply for his own benefit. That did not make waiting out the tense moment any easier for the now edgy assassin. Aiden sighed then grabbed onto the elf's hand and led him over to the chairs by the fire, motioning for Zevran to sit. The Antivan man settled down and the Ferelden warrior mirrored the action, bracing himself up with his elbows on his knees as he looked over at his elven lover.
"We…myself, Serena, Alistair, and Riordan are the only ones who can stop this Blight Zev…and the only way to do it…" the big man sighed heavily, "I can't reveal all of it to you, but suffice it to say that one of us may not be walking away from this fight…"
"Such a detail would give that man apt reason to exclude your future King from that conversation of his…" Aiden grinned despite his own discomfort.
"Spying were you?"
"I would never spy, but a worried man might eavesdrop," the elf replied cheekily. Again Aiden smiled, reaching out to take one of Zevran's hands in his own larger one. He appreciated Zevran's ability to take things at face value, to take on every obstacle with a straightforward attitude, now more than ever.
"Morrigan has a way to negate this event…but it is almost worse…" In a soft whisper the raven haired man told his lover what the witches' Ritual consisted of, ending with, "I do not even know if we should put all of our hopes in the Ritual either…what if it didn't work anyways?"
"So," Zevran said carefully trying to keep his own panic down, "either you or Alistair must have a child with Morrigan, or one of you will die…and one of you may still perish…tis a solid plan no?" Behind the joke there was a bitter bite in the assassin's voice. Out of everyone in the group Zevran should have been the last to object to sharing his partner, especially with a woman as attractive as the Wilds mage, but somewhere along the lines Aiden had become his. The thought of sharing him now, after everything they had been through was laughable…but the thought of losing him…
Zevran knew the man before him well enough to know that if this Ritual of Morrigan's was not performed, Aiden Amell would take the duty upon himself should Riordan fail. And then he would be alone, again. Imagining the world without this man…was a dark lonely existence indeed. The elf sighed gripping his lover's hand even more tightly, "You would do this not knowing whether or not it worked? You would have a son or daughter that you may never see…these are things to consider also."
"I must also consider my sister, who lost her entire family save for perhaps her real brother, and who now has Alistair. I can't imagine either one of them being alright without each other, and I know Serena would not ask this of the man she loves, or me for that matter, to do either. I only know because I forced Morrigan to tell me…"
"I do not wish to lose either of them, or you in any way…I know that it is selfish and spoiled of me, but I dislike the thought of you with another even though I know it would possibly save all of your lives…" the elf sighed so heavily that his ears drooped down an inch. "I do not want to lose anyone who is important to me ever again…"
The information was staggering, one of them might die…Alistair sagged against the wall outside of Serena's room. He couldn't lose her, but the thought of Aiden her brother dead…Alistair knew the woman had lost too much already and he no longer knew if they could be together once he became King. The reality of it all had settled on his shoulders a long time ago. Maker, he'd actually grown up. The task of being Ferelden's next monarch was still a daunting one, but one that he would meet with the same quite firmness he had always faced a challenge with. But this…the need for a death in their ranks…it was beyond him. What would he do without her?
Alistair opened the door to the room without knocking and found Serena sitting before the fireplace, staring at the dancing reds and yellows before her with eyes like glass. She was so deeply enrapt in her thoughts that she did not notice him there, giving him a moment to simply look at her. This woman he loved, how complex she really was: a noble by birth, a Warden by Circumstance, a leader by trait, and kinder than any member of the Chantry Alistair had ever seen boasting about having a heart of gold. Serena Cousland was the perfect woman in his opinion. She drove him mad sometimes with her logic and her acute ability to run into the middle of dangerous situations, but Maker he'd never have her any other way.
She sat now with her legs tucked carefully under her, brushing her hair out of her shoulder length braid while she thought. The firelight caught in her copper locks, setting them ablaze with a glow that made her seem almost ethereal with her blue and silver gaze. He knew then as he looked at her, that she was deciding just how she was going to go about not telling him about what Riordan had told her and Aiden. The former Templar knelt down behind his rogue and looped an arm around her waist pulling her back up against his broad chest. Serena started then quickly relaxed as she realized who was holding her. She snuggled back against her man and muttered, "You scared me."
"Liar, you don't get scared," he teased as he kissed her cheek. She frowned and turned her gaze to look directly up at him.
"I'm scared about tomorrow," she confessed, her eyes holding a great sadness that he now understood.
"Don't be," he said even as a lump welled up into his own throat, "we're going to be alright."
We, Serena thought sadly, would never come to be…As Grey Wardens they would never grow old together, have children, any of those wonderful things…but now with the Blight, they wouldn't even have any more time together. Serena tried to convince herself it would be better this way. Alistair would rule, he would be a great king with an undoubtedly lovely and well-mannered wife. She would give him fine children, and he would have a legitimate heir to take over once the Taint finally consumed him. And no other child would be harmed, not by Morrigan's terrible Ritual, or by their own mixed bad blood.
"Alistair…" she said in a voice no louder than a whisper, "I love you…you know that right?"
"Of course I do, I happen to love you back you know," he said.
"Even if…even if," she took a sharp breath, "even if your becoming King separates us, I will always love you."
"I'd sort of rather have you up there all fancy and uncomfortable with me," he hedged and she sighed a laugh. Maker, here she was facing down the darkest decision of her life and he could still make her smile. It was sickening how happy he made her she thought with a small shake of her head, which sent still wavy locks of her hair swaying around her shoulders. He reached up and ran his fingers through them, while looking into her worried eyes.
"We are going to get through this. And I will always love you, no matter what." Serena leaned up to kiss the man she loved. The man who would be King, the man she would die for…Aiden would take care of him, bolster him up, and care for him alongside Zevran who she knew would watch both of their backs. She was the weak link, her relationship with Alistair could threaten the balance of a fragile kingdom, besides as their leader it was her duty to shoulder this burden. In war, victory. In peace, vigilance. In death…sacrifice. She had taken an oath, and she had meant every word. She had a duty to Ferelden, as a Warden and as a Cousland.
Alistair watched the steel of determination work its way through Serena's eyes and wondered just what was going on in that head of hers? She suddenly leaned up to kiss him, her lips both gentle and frantic. She didn't know how to tell him goodbye. To tell him it would be alright, and that she loved him…oh how she truly loved him. She could never allow him to fulfill the Ritual, no matter how scared she was. Scared of losing him, of losing any of her friends, her brother, and she was afraid to die. If she had had the chance to slay the Archdemon right after the siege on Highever, she would have done it and gladly. But now she realized she could build a new life from the ashes of what once was. She could have a life…she had thought she could.
It had been a nice dream; it had carried her through many things. Given her strength when she otherwise had none, but it nearly seemed like fate that this newfound happiness of hers would eventually be ripped from her. What a petty thought it was, she should have been more grateful, Serena thought scolding herself. And no matter what, she knew she had Alistair's heart, even if only briefly. To be loved so completely, to find herself and have someone accept both her past and who she had grown to be over the last year…she couldn't have asked for more. Her fingers laced together behind Alistair's head and held him close as she deepened the kiss.
While Serena's forefathers might have preferred a battle that warranted their call of arms, audaces juvant! Fortune favors the bold, it seemed the days of black and white war had ended for her. She found herself more akin to Aiden's personal oath as a knight, "Duty before desire, death before dishonor". She had a duty to the Wardens, a duty to Zevran as her friend, Aiden as her vassal, and Alistair as her King. She would do whatever it took come morning, for now she would settle for the dream one last night.