Hello y'all! Here is my second entry for Zutara Week 2016. I'm going to try to submit fanfiction for each day, so hopefully I will have a full set of Zutara fanfiction here. It is a very long fanfic, detailing at least fourteen years of Zuko's life, so please excuse any plot holes/discrepancies :-( Also, I know there were a lot of chances to develop relationships, but maybe I will come back and rewrite it! Anyways, my friend/co-owner, Miki, is drawing some fanart for this fic, so check it out on her tumblr scribblinmadness sometime soon!
Hope you like this fic xx
-2 noobs
Mamihlapinatapai
"Would you die for her?
I do. Every Day."
― Jessica Shirvington, Emblaze
"Words, words were truly alive on the tongue, in the head
Warm, beating, frantic, winged; music and blood
But then I was young."
- Carol Ann Duffy, Little Red Cap
On the first day of elementary school, Zuko didn't really look like someone that was the nicest, or happiest of people. He walked into his classroom with a permanent scowl, and a huge bruise on the side of his face. The teachers were all sitting around the staffroom after school, each of them voicing their concerns for the seven year old boy.
"It's so strange, a little boy with such a sad face."
"Sad? I thought it was angry."
"But that bruise…"
"He told me that he slammed into a pole when a few days ago."
The next day, Zuko walked into class again, with the same scowl and the same bruise. No one tried to talk to him, and anyways, after class he always stayed in class to eat his lunch. Zuko didn't seem to care very much, he hardly interacted with his classmates anyways. Zuko had the face of someone who would cry any minute, but he never did.
On the third day of school, Zuko sat in class again, and was about to take out his lunch to eat when someone stomped into class. Zuko looked up, his face carefully neutral. He looked at the girl who walked in through narrowed eyes. His hand slowly withdrew from his backpack and instead placed on his lap.
The girl looked at Zuko. Her face was stretched into a grimace. "Hey," she said, with a slight edge to her voice.
"Uh, hello." Zuko said. He went back to taking out his lunch and proceeded to eat it quietly. Meanwhile, the girl slumped into her chair and buried her face in her hands. Zuko watched her over his sandwich. He wasn't sure what he was supposed to do. He chewed slowly. Then, he remembered what he was supposed to say.
"Are you okay?" He said, a bit awkwardly.
"No." The girl said with a brutal honesty which Zuko didn't know how to respond to. "My friends are idiots."
"What did they do?" Zuko pressed.
"Well, they didn't really want to play with me. They went to play with someone else. Her name's Suki. I can do what she can do, but I can run faster!"
"I'm sure you can." Zuko said. He regretted the words as soon as they came out. The girl turned on him angrily.
"You don't believe me!"
"Yes, sure I do!" Zuko dropped his sandwich and shielded his face with his hands. "Don't get angry, please!" He felt the beginnings of tears prick the corners of his eyes.
The girl calmed, and suddenly looked concerned. She walked over, and took his hands gently (Zuko flinched) and put them back down on the table. "Are you alright? You don't seem right."
Zuko tried to reply. "I'm-I'm fine." He managed to get out. He felt his heart hammer against his chest, so loudly that he could barely focus on what he was saying.
"C'mon. I'll show you how fast I can run!"
Zuko got up shakily and followed the girl. He tried to hold his hands still but decided to just stick them into his hoodie pockets. The girl led him to a field just outside the school building and seated him at a bench. He obliged. The girl then started sprinting and break-neck speed across a sandy rectangle which marked out her racetrack. When she finished, she hobbled over to him, and half-sat, half-crashed onto the bench next to him.
"So…how…was…I?" She ended her sentence with a gleaming smile.
Zuko leaned back a bit. "Uh, you're fast?" He offered.
"Faster than stupid Suki?"
"Faster." Zuko replied, trying to sound sincere.
At that, she nodded firmly. "Good." She patted her clothes down and suddenly started. "Oh, I'm so rude. What's your name?"
"Zuko."
The girl looked thoughtful. "Silly me, of course you're Zuko!"
Zuko stiffened. "I'm Katara." She continued, sticking out a small hand.
"Hey, Katara." Zuko grimaced.
"Wow, you sure are sad to be someone who just met a new friend."
"Thanks."
Katara rolled her eyes. "But I'm sure you'll be better than my other friends. They can have Suki for all I care."
Zuko wasn't sure whether he actually wanted or knew how to make friends, and suddenly felt conscious of the bruise that snaked on his face, but took her hand and shook it firmly. "I guess."
It was easy being friends with Katara. She didn't always have to be talked to, and she contributed to most of the conversation anyways. Zuko usually just offered my opinion, and she would listen and add on. Sometimes Zuko would make jokes, she laughed, made him feel good. Everything was fine, almost too-fine, and like a fantasy, like it wasn't supposed to be real and after a year of friendship, while they were sitting at a bench by a rose bush eating together, she dropped one of the worst things she could have asked him.
"Where do you get all those bruises, Zuko?" She said. She reached for the site of Zuko's newest bruise, a huge raised welt on his arm. He snatched it away and tucked it deep into his hoodie pocket. Katara quickly took her hand away and rested it awkwardly on the edge of the table. Zuko remained stubbornly silent. What was he supposed to say? That his-
"Zuko, you can tell me. You have to, eventually."
"No, I don't. You don't have to know."
"But we're best friends, I thought."
Those words hit Zuko like a truck. He felt stunned. Best friends? He skimmed his fingers over his bruise, and flinched at the stinging pain. Katara immediately rushed forwards. She gingerly grabbed his shoulders and shook him gently. "Yes, we are, right?"
Zuko made no answer. He could feel pin prinks of pain on his bruised arm. Katara took her hands away from his shoulders, and sat resignedly on the bench opposite him. She looked slightly betrayed.
"I just want to help."
Zuko opened his mouth to say something, but closed it again. "I don't need your help."
"Yes, you do." Katara stared at where his arm was covered by hoodie fabric.
"Fine, maybe I do!" Zuko said, his tone almost a whine. "But it's not like you can give me the help I need!"
"I don't know that unless you tell me, stupid!" Katara burst, losing her calm demeanour.
"Don't call me stupid! And besides, you won't understand, at least your mother actually cares about you!"
Katara was shocked. She wanted to say something, but Zuko cut in.
"You have parents! Mine are barely there! I'll bet your daddy is amazing and loves you, and I'll bet your mommy sings you to sleep every night, and hugs and kisses you all the time and-"
"I have no mommy." Katara said darkly.
Zuko was shocked. But his mouth quickly morphed into a snarl. "Then at least your mommy loved you before she died."
"So you don't even care that she's gone?"
Zuko only glared at her. "You want to help, leave me alone! It's not like I'm worth helping anyways."
Katara was too angry to listen to what he had to say. "At least your mommy is alive!"
Their relationship fell the pieces after that. Zuko refused to listen to Katara, adamant that she had absolutely no understanding whatsoever of his circumstances. Katara, on the other hand, was determined not to speak to Zuko again, because of his comments on her mother. Her dead mother. Firstly, he did not agree with her that they were best friends. Secondly, he had not felt the concern that a real friend would feel if they had found out the devastating news she had relayed to Zuko.
What Zuko had refused to tell Katara, was his family. When Zuko had been born, everything had been fine. Home was heaven, his parents were kind, gentle, sweet, loving, everything you needed in a parent. He loved them (and he still did) and they loved him. Then Azula was born. Then everything was a mess of Why Can't You Do What Azula Can Do? and Azula's So Much Better Than You'll Ever Be and the closet which he could never get out of and the blows he kept receiving even when he didn't do anything wrong. The hunger in his belly while Azula burped and smelt like grease and fried chicken and cake. The hard floor against his cheek while Azula snored into a plush pillow. The sour smell of alcohol. The sharp smell of metal. Pain which brought on blood.
But Katara didn't need to know. What could she do anyways? It's not like she could stop the pain.
Zuko spent the majority of his elementary school years alone after that. He sat quietly at his desk, ate lunch alone, and was last to join a group. He didn't really mind, he'd rather not have friends, how would talk to them? He was still young, he didn't know what to say. To other people who tried to be nice to him, to Katara, to his parents, to the teachers who were always so concerned. He ate his sandwiches, barely listened in class, failed his tests, and went home with a heavy step and eyes downcast. On his final year of primary school, the teachers took him aside. "You need help." They said. "You need our help." Zuko was a bit hopeful for a minute. "For your grades." He sighed audibly. They took it as a sigh of relief.
So Zuko had to go home later now. After school he had to meet a certain teacher, and they would cram things into his brain in the two hours they had with him, and they would go through each and every thing that he needed to know. He came home later, stayed up later, cried later into the night, and it would start all over again. His life was a routine, school, study, teachers, home, cry, sleep. Over and over again, and he always got tired of it. It was a relief when he scraped through his final year of exams and somehow got into a junior high school.
Zuko hated time there. His parents seemed so much crueller, and it didn't help that Azula did nothing to help. She was already at an age whether she was aware of what was happening to her brother, but didn't have the emotional capacity to do anything to help. Zuko always felt disturbed when he looked at Azula. She was cold, hard, and beautiful. She never smiled with happiness, and instead with a harsh cruelty which chilled his bones. The bruises were always there throughout his junior high years, but he still managed to pull through, however slow and hard and painful it was. It was the day that he saw Katara in his junior high which he remembered most of all. It was the first day of school, and he stepped into chemistry only to realize that she sat right in the middle of the classroom, surrounded by friends and laughing merrily. He quickly slid into a chair next to a kid with glasses and tucked his bag underneath the desk. He grabbed a worksheet and peered at her from over it. He was wearing a burgundy sweater to cover the bruises on his arm, but the bruise lining his nose was very striking. Zuko stared at Katara for a long time before she noticed him. One minute, he heard distinct laughter that had to be hers among the chatter of her friends, and the next minute, it had been cut off, gone. He snuck a peek again. She was staring straight at him. How she recognized him, he didn't know. She just stared, then slowly, started to inch back into the conversation her friends were having. Zuko, flustered, shuffled his books and set the worksheet on top of the stack.
"I see you know Katara." The boy with glasses said.
"I suppose I know her." Zuko replied, startled by the boys comment.
"That's a weird answer, y'know?" The glasses boy replied. He looked amused, before he caught sight of Zuko's nose. "Oh."
"I hit a pole." Zuko said in an effort to be casual. "Wasn't looking, see?" He pretended to bang into an invisible pole.
"Er, okay. Whatever you say." The glasses boy looked unconvinced. Zuko slumped back onto his side of the table.
Zuko was a nervous wreck when the teacher said that in chemistry, there would be a lot of group work. He always freaked out when it came to finding groups. But he breathed a sigh of relief when the chemistry teacher said that he was going to group them. But his breath caught in his throat when the teacher flashed the term groupings onto the visualizer. He caught sight of his name almost immediately, then the next, then the one below that one which was – Katara.
"Move into your groups!"
Zuko shuffled awkwardly over to his table. He shifted into his seat and watched Katara move reluctantly to the table as well. She said diagonally opposite from him, and Zuko immediately started taking an interest in the bottle of deionised water on the worktable. Katara settled into easy conversation with the rest of his group members, but Zuko just continued scribbling on his notebook. After a while, the girl next to him tapped him on the shoulder.
"We still don't know your name!"
"I'm Zuko." Zuko said shyly.
"Hi, Zuko. Nice to meet you." Said the girl.
"Hi." Katara said softly.
"Hello." Zuko replied, before going back to his scribbling.
The term was too long for his liking. In chemistry, they mostly did pair work, so since Katara was on the other side of the workbench, she didn't have to pair with him, and he just did it with the girl next to him, called Yue. The experiments were long, repetitive and boring, so he easily settled into a sort of routine when it came to chemistry. Get in, put down stuff, get the methyl orange, get the goggles, get the burette and pipette, get the solutions from Yue, rinse, titrate, calculate, hand up, leave before anything bad happens. Katara seemed to have no interest in talking to him either, usually rushing off to join some giggly girlfriends straight after the bell rung. The term ended very quickly, and Zuko managed to get through the rest of the school years in junior high without too bad of marks. He had felt proud bringing home his report card of B's and C's, and an overall pass of fifty seven out of a hundred. All he got was a shoe in the face and dinner on the floor.
Zuko was considerably happier in senior high school. His experiences in elementary school had given him some social skills, and his parents were pretty much ignorant of his existence at this point. They still hurled insults all the time, and threw whatever they could reach at him occasionally, but their attention was mostly on the Golden Child. So he slid in and out of the house, not even saying goodbye, and spent most of the time with his friends. On his first day, they were seated in rows of four, and Zuko was smack in the middle of it. The teacher then introduced himself as Mr Loman and told them to get to know their deskmates.
Zuko and his deskmates shifted their chairs to make a circle, and they introduced themselves one by one. The first one was a girl named Mai. She had long, straight black hair and a sharp, v-shaped face. She was pretty, but intimidated Zuko. Her lips were thin, and her expression was neutral, but when she started talking, a little while in she smiled a tiny bit. Zuko thought she looked nice. "I have a little brother, and I did gymnastics in elementary school." She smiled again. "Okay, I'm done. You next."
The guy next to Zuko perked up. He had dark brown hair, green eyes, and there was a deep green bandana tied around his wrist. "Hey! I'm Haru. I have two dogs and I love wrestling. But I also really enjoy playing the guitar. My favourite food is, uh, fried chicken. Boring, but don't hate."
"Typical boy." Mai said huffily. She blew the hair out of her face while Haru rolled his eyes at her.
Haru turned to Zuko. "Your turn!"
"Uhh." The back of his neck turned cold. "I'm Zuko. I have a sister." It pained him to say that. "And I would like to do breakdancing."
"Woah, breakdancing!" Haru said. "Someday we should go together! That'll be fun, won't it?"
"Uh…yeah, I guess."
Mai leaned forwards. "But what are your hobbies right now?"
Zuko felt sweat trickle down his spine. "Um," he searched his mind desperately. What did Azula do? "Karate." Haru, Mai and the other boy looked impressed. "But I only just started, so I don't know much." He added hastily, in case they asked him to demonstrate. He turned to the boy next to him. "I'm done. Your turn."
"Hi, guys." The boy had a deep, scratchy voice. "My name is Kei Lo. All of you guys do sport, but I'm a more musical kind of guy. I'm a cellist in a band."
"That's pretty cool!" Mai said enthusiastically, though is seemed weird coming from her mouth.
"Yeah." Zuko added on lamely.
Kei Lo looked nervous, but pleased. "Thanks."
The school year passed quickly, like fire. Then the second year of senior high school began, and by that time Zuko mostly hung out with the three of them and got along fine. Zuko noticed that Mai was constantly talking and by his side, but he had to admit that the attention did make him feel good. Haru and Kei Lo had become the pranksters of the group, with Mai and Zuko as the serious bystanders. The only time Zuko actually had a relatively bad day in school was the day he saw Katara again. She was standing with a boy who looked like her, with long hair tied in a ponytail. She had caught his eye and as if the eye contact burnt her, flinched and looked away hastily. Zuko had thought about going up to her and talking to her, but she had quickly grabbed a pink flyer from a girl handing them out.
Haru had been with him. He had eyeballed Katara, then Zuko, an amused look passing over his face. "Who's that?" He asked, winking at Zuko. "Someone special, eh?"
"No! Not at all." Zuko said swiftly, shaking his head frantically.
"Don't worry Zuko. Secrets safe with me." Haru winked again. "She's quite pretty. Nice choice."
"No! What are you talking about, I don't like-"
Haru suddenly yelped loudly. "Damn! Ty Lee's having a party!" Zuko looked at the pink flyer which had just been stuck into Haru's hand by a giggling girl. "We have to go!"
"Ty Lee?"
"Yeah, Ty Lee, just the most beautiful and popular girl in school! We have to go, Zuko."
Zuko shrugged, and Haru thumped him hard on the back. "Great! Let's tell the others."
Mai and Kei Lo seemed extremely enthusiastic about the party. Zuko wasn't. He had seen Katara holding the same paper that Haru had received, and he did not want to get stuck in a party with her. They would have to see each other at least once, or twice, or maybe even interact. His mind flashed back to their fight. He shuddered.
"You alright, Zuko?" Kei Lo said, concerned.
"Yeah, I'm great." Zuko grinned thankfully. Kei Lo patted him on the shoulder.
"That's good, bud."
The day of the party came around quickly. For the days leading up to the party, Zuko kept thinking of reasons that could possibly help him to skip it. He hated loud noises, and everyone knew that loud noises meant parties. So throughout the days leading up to it, he kept brainstorming on ways to get out of it. But on the night of the party, Haru pulled up in a car in front of his house, and Zuko swiftly slipped out of the door and rushed towards the car. Mai and Kei Lo were sitting in the back seat and so Zuko went into the passenger seat in front. He wore a simple red hoodie, with a plaid button-down thrown to him from his father, and grey slacks. Mai looked nice, and Kei Lo was in all black. Haru wore his signature leaf-green tank with beige shorts. Kei Lo immediately started talking, enthusing about how great the party was going to be. "Ty Lee's parties are the shit." Haru agreed. "There's the girls, the games, the booze. She's got it all!"
"Great." Zuko grated out, staring sullenly out of the window.
"C'mon dude, lighten up," Haru punched him friendlily in the shoulder. Zuko scowled.
"Have you ever been to a party, Zuko?" Kei Lo said, almost incredulous.
"No." Zuko replied, continuing to stare resolutely out of the window.
"Well, good thing you're making this one you're first!" Kei Lo laughed. "You are going to have a blast, for sure!"
"That's a relief." Zuko drawled.
The other three people rolled their eyes and talked amongst themselves, while Zuko continued to glare moodily out of the window. They could hear the party before they saw it. The beating pulse of the music wound its way up the driveways, and Zuko could have sworn that he could hear people laughing. As they approached the house, Haru was immediately energised by the loud cheers and laughing radiating from the house. The lights of the houses all around the party place were all on, and Zuko almost broke his angry composure at the thought of grumpy adults sitting around their bedrooms, silently cursing the teens next door. Haru swerved into a narrow gap between a Mercedes and a Toyota, and all four of them jumped out. Zuko, admittedly, was also somewhat excited. The loud laughing, the heart-stopping music, and the general mood of the place already lifted his spirits, as much as they made him anxious.
The four of them strolled into the house, finding the door wide open, a displaced cup of beer staining the door mat. Almost instantly they were met with a huge mass of teenagers, all either chugging out of a red plastic cup or dancing to the loud, pulsating music. Mai stuck close to Zuko as they navigated the mass of arms and legs. Kei Lo and Haru had rushed off to find some drinks for them, so Mai was left with Zuko, both of them trying to find some space for themselves. Eventually they ended up leaning against a doorpost near the kitchen, and Haru and Kei Lo quickly appeared, each carrying two cups of beer. "First drink, Zuko?" Mai asked.
Zuko took a tiny sip. "Yeah."
"Hey, you cheated! You don't take a sip without the rest of us." Kei Lo accused.
"Uh okay." Zuko replied, quickly moving his cup away from him.
"Alright, that didn't happen. Zuko's still a beer virgin, as far as we're concerned." Haru said. "One, two, three!"
All three of them quickly raised the cup to their lips, and chugged down the beer as fast as they could. Zuko, was confused, but copied what they were doing. Haru turned to them, beer froth lining the skin above his upper lip. "Want some more?"
Zuko shook his head, disliking the taste of the beer. He remembered his father, and the bottles which he liked to throw at him. He would spend hours picking out the tiny shards of glass from his cuts. Zuko dropped the cup, his fingers shaking.
"Zuko, are you sure you're okay?" Mai said, placing a warm hand on his hand, steadily him.
"Yeah." Zuko flinched away, and buried his hand into his hoodie pocket.
The party dragged on. Zuko had fun at some times, but most of the time, was bored out of his mind. He had no interest in conversing with the other teens around here, except for Mai, Haru and Kei Lo, and generally hung around the snack table, feasting on the delicious delicacies he rarely ate at home. So he set about stuffing his face with every single piece of junk food he could find. The party soon died down a bit, and most people were sitting around groaning from the food sitting heavily in their stomachs, or drunk from the alcohol. Haru, Kei Lo and Mai were all gathered around in a circle, with Zuko leaning in a straight-backed wooden chair.
At this point, a girl stood up, and said loudly, "I've got an idea! Let's all play Seven Minutes In Heaven." Her group of friends enthusiastically agreed, and Haru glanced at his own friends.
"Wanna do it?"
"Whatever," Mai said, picking at her fingernails.
"We're in." Said Haru.
"Alright. No one else?"
No reply. The group gathered in the living room, and they all sat in a tight circle. Zuko had heard of this game, with the closet, and the seven minutes with a girl. He bit his lip. He did not want to go into the closet. He hated touch. The circle suddenly opened, and another girl slid into the gap made for her. Zuko looked up, and it took him a minute before he realized who she was – Katara. He gasped, and Haru sent a sly look his way. Zuko glared at him, and sticking his hands firmly into his pockets, leaned back and hid his face behind Mai's mass of hair. She obviously hadn't seen him, he could recognize her voice as she chatted with her friends. There was a loud scribbling and tearing sounds, and Zuko started to get impatient as to when the game would start.
"Okay, everyone know how to play?" The girl said, shifting in front so she was slightly in front of everyone else.
"Yeah."
"Okay, so we've got a bag of names, so if we pull your name out of the boy-bag, you go into the closet. Then, we all choose another name from the girls, and you go into the closet with that boy." Her gaze lingered on Zuko.
She shook the bag, and passed it to Kei Lo. "You pick a name first. You pick for the girls."
Kei Lo scrunched up his face, and stuck his hand deep into the bag. His fingers wandered in the bag a little, and then closed around a slip of paper right at the bottom. He drew his hand out delicately, and unfolded the paper. He passed it to the girl, a glimmer of a smile on his features.
"Katara." Katara started, and went red. She smiled nervously and shook her head.
"No, not me. Choose someone else." She urged, the blush creeping down her neck.
"C'mon, you know you want to. Besides, you agreed to play already." The girl said.
Katara pursed her lips. "Fine." She pulled herself up, and awkwardly walked towards the closet. Her friend suddenly pulled out a scarf, and threw it in Katara's direction. "Wait, blindfold yourself first!"
Katara plucked the scarf off from the ground and rolled her eyes. She tied the ends around her neck loosely, and cracked open the closet door. She looked back one more time, and slipped in. The group closed up the gap left by her. "Okay, now for the boy who will join her." The girl said, a slight twinkle in her eyes. She handed the bag to a girl in orange next to her. "You choose for the boy." She scanned the boys in the circle. Zuko started to think that this was a very stupid game. He mumbled something about going to the toilet, and was about to stand up when his name was called.
He stopped, and swivelled in the direction of the voice. "Sorry, what?"
"Into the closet, loverboy." Kei Lo said, motioning towards the closet.
"No, thanks." Zuko said adamantly. He reached for the bag of names. "Just choose another name, already!"
"It was your name that was pulled, dude." Haru said. "Just go. It's only seven minutes."
Kei Lo pulled Zuko to his feet. "She's waiting," he said with an obnoxious wink. Zuko struggled. "No!"
"Just do it, Zuko." Mai said sullenly. "They're not going to give up, y'know."
Zuko stopped for a moment, and looked down at Mai. "I know." He said finally, with a sigh. "I'm not going to forget this," he said to Haru and Kei Lo, pointing at both of them respectively.
"No, you definitely won't be forgetting this anytime soon." Kei Lo teased. Haru burst in to laughter.
Zuko shuffled towards the closet. Every inch of his being wanted to turn around and just run out, but he found his hand curve around the doorknob, and crack the door open. Katara sat cross-legged inside, her arm propped up on her knee, head resting impatiently on her hand. The blindfold was tied loosely around her eyes.
"Ugh, finally." Katara groaned. "I couldn't stand hearing them hoot and holler out there. Maybe now they will be quiet."
Zuko said nothing. Katara started to work the knot at the back of her head. "God, whose idea was this in the first place? And why are we playing Seven Minutes in Heaven anyways? Like who plays that anymore? It was the kind of game thirteen year olds would giggle and blush about." The knot loosened and she peeled the blindfold away. "Hey, I'm Katara." She looked up, and her jaw dropped. She shook her head, but quickly regained her composure "Shit. What are you doing here?"
Zuko didn't reply.
"Oh, my god. They set us up!" Katara moaned. "And now I'm stuck in here with you!"
"Look, it's not like I'm particularly enjoying this either, Katara." Zuko said harshly. "And its not my fault is it, they didn't tell me anything!"
"Oh my god. Now I need to sit here for seven minutes with you." Katara rocked back and forth. "This is…this is-"
"Hell?" Zuko offered.
"Yeah, hell. This isn't Seven Minutes in Heaven. It's Seven Minutes in Hell."
"Well, it's only hell because you're here."
"Just as I remembered you, Zuko. Ever so charming." Her words dripped with sarcasm.
Zuko flopped down in front of a bucket. He turned away from Katara, and brought his legs up to his chest. Katara was sitting as far away from his as possible, and the silence settled in heavily. There was a tension so strong between them, Zuko imagined it like lightning, crackling and threatening to start a spark any time soon. His heart turned cold. He felt an uneasiness, a guilt. He turned and glanced. Katara was glaring at him. He narrowed his eyes. A minute passed, but it felt like an eternity. They say time passes quickly when you're having fun, so naturally time crawls on and on ever so painfully when you are having the polar opposite of fun. Zuko hated loud places, but he also hated the silence. It always meant something bad was going to happen. His breath hitched in his throat.
"Zuko, are we just going to sit here for seven minutes?" Katara said after a while, turning swiftly to face Zuko. All traces of animosity were gone.
"If I have to." Zuko said stiffly.
"Then I might as well be the better person here." Katara said forcefully. "For what happened years ago – I'm sorry, okay? It's so long ago I can barely remember what happened, but I'm sorry. I've had enough of this. I'm acted up for no reason just now. I apologize.
"You forgot?" Zuko accused. The walls were closing in on him. It was dark, it stank of cleaning alcohol. He curled into a tighter ball. "Doesn't matter. Just leave me alone."
Katara shifted closer to him. She brushed her fingers along the ridge of his shoulder. "Just say it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."
The walls crushed his lungs. Zuko melted away from her touch, and shuddered. "Don't touch me." He whispered. "Don't touch me, please." The bruise spotting his cheek hurt as he pressed his face into his crossed arms. It felt like his ribs were caving in, piercing his lungs, he couldn't breathe. The darkness engulfed. Katara darted away. His entire body felt cold, even though there was no wind in the closet. Better person. His mind flashed to Azula. Always someone better than him, always him being the disappointment. He waited for the blow to come. He wasn't the best. Father was going to hit him. Mother was going to drink and drink and breathe alcohol onto his face when she came up close, and it would sting his skin like fire. Fire…he remembered what a burn looked like.
There was a gasp, Katara's voice dripped into his haze of thoughts. "Zuko, listen to me. Just keep breathing. Breath, Zuko."
Zuko felt his chest constrict, and the horrible feeling of dread pinch his throat close. He was winded. Did Katara just say something to him again? A shadow of her touch seeped into his skin, tainting him. He shivered. He was so cold. She was small beside him, whispering things to him. Her, who hated him for so long. Maybe now one more person would be willing to talk to him. There was a darkness around this room, and it chained him to this position. He was frozen, and all he had was Katara next to him. Did she hate him now? Or was the concern on her face real? He begged Katara with his eyes not to open the door. She understood.
Had this happened before? He remembered curling on the ground at night, surrounded by homework, terrified. It had happened before. It happened all the time. It came like the beatings – often – and this pain was ten times worse. The fear always made him think of worse things, or the worst things that had happened to him.
"Th-thank you, K-K-"
"I know, and I'm sorry." Katara murmured to him. "What did they do to you, Zuko?" She added, in an undertone. But Zuko didn't reply. The time had passed slowly, but he could feel his lungs loosening, his fear dissipating. The blood rushed back, but the fear kept coming back, in bigger bouts, and then little by little, and soon, he lay on the ground, panting, terrified if it would come again. Katara nervously set a warm palm against his arm. He did not push away.
"It's alright. You're not alone, Zuko."
"Do you really forgive me?" Zuko whispered, his entire body convulsing and then lying still again.
"Oh, Zuko." Katara seemed to be tearing. "I think the question is do you really forgive me?"
Zuko's hand slid into hers. "I think I forgave you a long time ago."
Katara squeezed his hand again. "Zuko."
Zuko tried to smile. "I'm sorry about your mother, Katara."
"I'm sorry she's gone too, Zuko." Katara cupped his hand with both hands. She paused for a minute. "I'm sorry you were getting hurt. I didn't realize. I made a terrible mistake."
"Help me up," Zuko said.
"Katara pulled him to a sitting position, and Zuko did a sort of half-smile. "Thanks."
Katara glanced at the door. "They're probably going to keep us here for more than seven minutes."
"I think it's already past seven minutes." Zuko replied.
Katara sat back down, pulling her hand from his. "What do you think they expected, putting us in here? I reckon those slips in the bags were just our names over and over again."
"Probably," Zuko mumbled. He reached for Katara's hand again. She took it.
"Friends?" Zuko said hopefully.
Katara stopped to smile sweetly at him. "Yes. Friends."
Zuko tugged Katara along urgently. "C'mon, it'll be really quick."
Katara willingly came along, laughing happily. "What is it, Zuko?" Katara droned.
"You'll find out, eventually." Said Zuko. They were in the nearby park, and it was only even more beautiful because of the trees that were turning to the orange, red, brown and yellows of autumn.
Zuko disappeared into a cleft in the bushes, and Katara followed eagerly. She gasped at the sight. It was a sheltered glade, which was circled by tall bushes sprouting gorgeous, long purple flowers. In front, she could see the glitter of water, and saw it ripple gently as a duck paddled by. There, water splashed at the edge of the earth, and several rocks lay around the edge. Zuko was sitting in the middle of this glade, grinning expectantly at her. Katara tried not to look sad – his bruises were worse today.
"What is this place?" She said, her smile curving her features. She sat near the edge of the water, and watched the water lap at her toes.
"It's mine, for one." Zuko said, shrugging. "I found it a few months ago. Actually, just when senior year started. I like coming here to let go." He plucked up a smooth rock and skipped it across the surface of the water. "It's really peaceful."
"I know." Katara said softly. "It is beautiful." The flowers surrounding them provided sharp contrast with the orange leaves which fell from the reaching trees above them. She looked out across the lake and waved at a little kid skirting the edge of it with a big balloon. She leaned back, so that her arms formed an "L" behind her, and her elbows and triceps were pressed flat against the ground.
"Why didn't you bring me here earlier? It's so nice here."
"Uh." Zuko paused for a moment. "I guess I wanted that someone who I'd bring here make the glade an even nicer place to be in." He blushed.
Katara beamed at him. "That's really sweet of you, Zuko. But what about Mai, and Haru, and Kei Lo?"
"Let's just say they don't really know when to shut up. Not Mai, but yeah. You're the one." Zuko shrugged. "They're great people, but…I don't know. It's not right."
Katara nodded. They sat in comfortable silence again, until Katara turned to Zuko again. "Remember when we first came to this park together?"
"Yep. You fell in the lake."
"That's because you pushed me!"
Zuko smirked. "Well, you deserved it."
"I did not!" Katara whined. "All I did was splash my water on you."
"It's fair then. I splashed water on you, as revenge."
"Spiteful." Scolded Katara. "You always have to bite back, do you?"
"It's called self-defense, Kat."
"Ha. Ha." But she decided to end it there. It was getting a little too dangerous for Katara's liking.
"I wish you could have showed me this place earlier! I'm glad to be here with you right now, right here, y'know." Katara admitted. She laid flat on her back and turned her head to look directly in Zuko's eyes.
"Would you be glad to go with me to prom, then?"
Katara sat up ram-rod straight. "What did you just say?"
Zuko suddenly crumbled. The confidence he had spoken those last few words with dissipated at not receiving "yes" as a reply immediately. "Will you go to prom with me, Katara?" He blurted, reaching up to scratch the nape of his neck. "Just as friends, promise." He assured when Katara didn't reply.
"So this is why you waited until now to show me this place." Katara glowed. "So you could ask me to prom?"
"Maaybe." Zuko was getting anxious now.
Katara squealed, and before he knew it, Katara had thrown herself and him, her arms wrapped tightly around his neck. He tumbled back, and looked up, to see Katara lying by his side, her face looming over his. "Yes, I will. Of course I'll go to prom with you, Zuko. As friends." She hugged him again, with a strength he didn't know was in her. Zuko clasped her in his arms, and realized that what she had just said had made him incomprehensively happy, and that that had to be, and quite possible was, the happiest moment in his entire life.
Katara twirled in the mirror. She had been saving up for this. She wore a dark, dark blue ombre dress, the bottom of which faded into a deep ocean blue. The ombre fabric was of sheer fabric, so when the light came in, you could see a dark blue underskirt. The sheer fabric flapped out behind her and flowed like water around her when she moved, and she loved the way it pillowed and puffed when she twirled in front of the mirror. A single strap adorned with silver gemstones stretched across her left shoulder, while the other shoulder lay bare. The strap didn't go straight up, be rather was a slight diagonal, and curved near the edge of her shoulder. She turned and peered at her reflection in the mirror and grinned. The dress was back-less, other than four straps which secured it to her body. The first, top strap extended from the shoulder strap, to her right side, just below her arm pit. The third strap was from her left armpit to just below the first strap. The third and fourth were straight across the small of her back. There was a slight train to the dress, so some of the sheer dragged along daintily on the floor when she walked.
Katara twirled on last time, pleased with her appearance, and sat at her dresser. She had a lot of hair to work with, and she was running late, so she quickly gathered the front part of her hair and braided it to the side of her head, and did the same on the other side. She secured them at the back of her head, and pulled some strands out to give it a messier look. She twirled the ends of her hair around a curling iron, keeping the curls loose. She weaved a plume of jasmine into the braid, and stared intently at her reflection. She nodded, swiping lip gloss across her lips. She smacked her lips and finally, was happy with how she looked. She paused to look in the mirror again, and felt absolutely radiant. She felt wonderful, and she couldn't wait for Zuko to come and pick her up. She didn't care if he came with a car, or not, or would walk her there. She couldn't wait. She shoved her feet into a sparkly, silver pair of strappy heels and tottered down the stairs. Her father was waiting for her downstairs.
The corners of his mouth turned up in a rare smile. Katara kissed him on the cheek, greeting him happily. "My Katara is all grown up," her father choked. "And you look just like your beautiful mother."
"Thank you, Dad." She squeezed his hand. "I miss her too."
"It is a blessing that I have you and your brother."
"Love you, Dad." Katara planted one last kiss on his cheek. "I'll be back soon."
Her father wiped his eyes quickly. "Don't drink beer! And don't go to the toilet alone. Oh, and don't do drugs." Her father said sternly. "And make sure you're home before twelve!"
"Dad!"
"Okay, one, but no grace period!"
"Alllright." Katara swung the door open, expecting to see Zuko in a suit waiting for her, but there was no one. "Where is he?" She wondered aloud.
"Jesus, the kid's not even on time!" Her father shook his head. "Why didn't you get someone who was punctual?"
"He doesn't have a car, dad." Katara said patiently.
"No car? Then who's going to bring you home safely?"
"Don't worry about it. I'll catch a lift with my friends."
"You'd better." Her father grumbled. "Anyways, he'd better come soon. It's almost seven."
Katara waited for a few minutes, then ten minutes, then fifteen minutes. Katara was starting to get anxious. She fished her phone out of her purse and dialled his number. All she could hear was his voicemail. She called twice, thrice, five times, but no answer. Was he hanging up on her? She sifted through her contacts, and found Mai's number. She pressed 'call'.
"Hello?" Said Mai in a bored voice. Katara could hear the prom music in the background.
"Mai, it's me, Katara."
"Oh, hi Katara!" Mai said. "Isn't Zuko supposed to be with you?"
"What do you mean?"
"We haven't seen him yet. I assumed he was with you." Katara ignored the bitter edge to her tone.
"He's not." Katara blurted.
"He's not?"
"No."
"Then where is he?"
"I called him a few times, there's been no answer."
"Stupid idiot. He probably left his phone there. Look, just wait there for a while. He didn't ask for a lift from us so he's probably walking over. And he doesn't live that close to where you are, so it might take a while. Plus his parents are assholes. Might take him a while to get out."
"Okay, thanks Mai. Have fun!"
Mai hung up. Katara tossed the phone back into her purse. There was something totally wrong with this. Zuko was barely ever late, and there was no way he'd be late for this. She tried to recall where his house was. As much as she didn't want to go there, something was totally wrong. Zuko would have come by now. His place was no more than a twenty minute walk away. And he always had his phone with him.
"Dad!" Katara rushed back into the house. "I need you to drive me somewhere."
"Seriously? Now I have to drive you to prom?"
"No, drive me here." She scribbled down the address.
"Whatever you say."
When Katara reached Zuko's home, she suddenly felt terribly sorry for her friend. The house was dingy, with peeling paint and cracked windows. The lawn was unmowed, and teeming with weeds. There was a rickety Mitsubishi parked in the driveway, and rubbish littered the front yard. Katara stepped out of the car, despite her father's protests, and picked her way around the rubbish, ending up at a fading red-painted door. She knocked, and almost a full minute later, she was answered by a tall, muscular man, with pale skin and long, greasy hair. Katara could smell the alcohol on his breath. He wore a grey shirt, and red shorts. His eyes were like Zuko's and narrowed when they saw her.
"Uh, good evening sir. I'm looking for your son, Zuko."
"Zuko?" The man took a minute to digest what she had said. "Zuko?"
"Your son."
"HA! He is no son of mine. He got what he deserved, all right. Good riddance to him – he's not my son anymore in any way. Go away, girl. You have no business with my family."
"Sorry, I do not understand-"
"The kid is useless, y'hear? There's no point in having a useless lump around the house. We got rid of 'im."
"You can't possibly mean that you-"
"That's right, girl. That's right. Ran straight into the night, he did. Crying so hard, like the lump he is."
"You're going to jail for this, sir. You will, and I won't forget this." Katara seethed, her anger and fear escalating.
"I'm not afraid of any policeman, missy. Or you, too." The door was slammed straight in her face, but Katara didn't care. She rushed down the front yard, and her heart beating hard against her ribcage, jumped into her father's car. "Dad, quick, you need to be fast. I need to go to the park."
Katara couldn't organize her thoughts in the drive to the park. Zuko couldn't possibly be gone. His father had said he had run off into the night. She still had time. If he was where she thought he was. Her father pulled over in the park carpark, and she sped out, shouting for her father to wait there. She rushed through the empty footpaths, navigated the endless trees and shrubs, until she found the cleft, which she quickly bent into, hoping – praying – that he would be there, and she almost double backed, because he was.
She rushed to his side and collapsed. Zuko lay there, in a pressed white dress shirt and black trousers, his hand pressed firmly to the left side of his face. His face was contorted into an expression of pure pain, but his eyes were shut. His breathing was uneven, and Katara smelt something sour. She grabbed his hand, and gasped at the stickiness which coated his fingers. She gently peeled his hands away from the side of his face, revealing something which made her feel like puking. She staggered away, collapsing on her behind, taking it all in. Stretching across Zuko's left side of the face was a huge, burn. The skin around his eyes were completely burnt away, with some smaller burns on his upper neck. It was grotesque, and he didn't even look human. She could see the muscles, the singed skin, the rawness of suffering, and that sour smell. She crept back, not daring to touch it. Instead, she cupped the unaffected side of his face with her left hand and gazed at his face. He had been so handsome. Now people would only look at him with fear and disgust.
She felt anger well up inside her. His father did this to him. How? Fire? Acid? She didn't know. But she had to help him. Otherwise he'd die. Katara tried to remember what they taught her in the first aid course last year. She untucked Zuko's white shirt and ripped off a strip, wrapping it gently around his face. Then, she called her father.
"Did you leave?"
"No, w-"
"Bring me the first aid box, a bottle of water and please call an ambulance! Quickly!" Her father scuffled around, and Katara quickly directed him to the glade. He staggered back when he saw Zuko.
"Dear God, what happened to that poor boy?"
"I don't know, but pass me that now!"
Her father quickly gave it to her, and dialled for an ambulance. Katara barely heard him as he shouted the emergency to the call receiver. She unscrewed the cap of the bottle and doused Zuko's burn with it. She gritted her teeth as Zuko stirred, obviously in great pain.
"Just bear with me, please, hold on," she whispered, now soaking the cloth in water. She pressed it carefully to his scar, her hands trembling with panic. Her father pushed her aside, and wrapped the cloth expertly around Zuko's head. "An ambulance is coming, Katara. I'll wait outside and keep an eye out."
Katara nodded, still stunned by what she had just seen. She crawled back to Zuko's side, and squatted by him, clutching his hand tightly. "Please, wake up. Let me know that you're alive. Please." The minutes passed by like hours. Suddenly she heard her father shouting just outside the bushes. Katara rushed out. "Here, quickly, please!"
The paramedics with their orange stretcher disappeared one by one into the glade. Moments later, the tips of Zuko's feet appeared, and Katara felt her heart break into pieces to see her friend like that. More than her friend, her prom date, one of her closest friends, Zuko. She started when Zuko's hand twitched. She rushed forwards, walking along with the pace of the stretcher.
"Zuko?" She begged. "Are you there?"
"Please, miss. Step away from the victim."
"No, he's waking up. Zuko? Zuko?"
Zuko's eyelids cracked open. Almost immediately they shut, and his entire face was contorted in unimaginable pain. Katara laced her fingers in between his. "Zuko, it's me, it's Katara. You're going to be alright, I swear it. Just hold on, please!"
Zuko's opened his eyes slightly. They brightened slightly. "Katara." He whispered.
"You're going to be alright. You're going to be alright." Katara repeated as Zuko was hauled into the ambulance.
Katara was suddenly nervous standing outside Intensive Care Unit Room 3. There was only one name on the occupant list – Zuko's. In her hands was a huge bouquet she had picked herself – lavender and corn flowers. She took a deep breath, and opened the door. She stepped, in and greeted the nurse. "Oh, hello, miss." The nurse said kindly. "There's some other guests visiting him right, now, just so you know."
"Okay, thank you," Katara said. She walked round the wall separator and saw that the bed screen was pushed away. Mai and Haru sat at Zuko's bedside.
"Oh, hi Katara," Kei Lo said cheerfully. "We were wondering if we were going to see you here."
Katara stayed fixated at her spot. "Well, here I am." Kei Lo grinned. Mai didn't. She was busy talking to Zuko. "Hey, Mai, hey, Zuko." Katara said.
"Hi, Katara," Zuko said eagerly.
"Hello." Mai said, barely looking at Katara.
"Well, we'd best be off." Said Kei Lo. "We were just going to leave anyways."
Kei Lo stood up quickly, and Mai followed, saying a tender goodbye to Zuko. Katara saw them out, and then returned to Zuko's bedside. She dropped the bouquet into the vase on his bedside table.
"How are you feeling?" She asked.
"Better." Zuko said.
"That's good." Katara sat on his mattress, and turned towards him. This was the first time she visited him since she found him in that glade. "I'm glad you're okay."
Zuko just looked at her, and Katara wasn't sure what to say. Then, she remembered. "Oh, I should probably tell you about you parents. They've been arrested. My dad reported them."
Zuko nodded. He didn't seem sad at all. "And Azula?"
"I don't know. She's being assessed for mental instability. I think they might need you to testify against them. But you don't have to if you don't want to."
"I will." Zuko said firmly. "What they've done to me…it's unforgivable. I won't be able to look in the mirror and stand my own reflection for a long time."
"We, your friends, we'll be here for you. Always."
"He threw acid at me, y'know." Zuko continued. Katara's mouth snapped shut. "For no reason. He just threw it at me. I'm lucky it didn't get into my eyes, but I won't ever be the same again. How can someone do that to their own child? Without pity?"
"There are horrible people in the world who do horrible things, Zuko." Katara comforted. "It's not your fault."
"And you," Zuko looked at her with such emotion that Katara felt entranced; speechless. "You saved me. You saved my life. The doctors said one more hour alone there and I would have died. You saved me, Katara."
"Of course I would. You're my friend, one of my best. Of course I would."
"Thank you, Katara."
"Don't thank me for saving your life. Just be alive and I will know it's worth it."
"I'm thanking you for much more than that Katara. I grew up in a terrible household, I was unloved, hated, hurt by them. But I met you, and for those few shorts months, I was so happy. Then, years later, you come back. I'm not a scared little kid anymore, because of you. Because of you, I want to live."
Katara felt the tears prick the corners of her eyes. "Zuko, I'm so glad to be here right now with you. I'm so glad that you're here with me. This scar," she ghosted her fingers over the bandage which covered it, "won't change anything. You're still Zuko – a stronger Zuko."
Zuko stopped talking, instead he seemed to just take her in. Katara smiled at him gently, and rested her hand on his shoulder. Zuko sat up straighter. But his eyes never left hers. Zuko's stare never wavered. In between then was fate, or something more like coincidence, and in between them was a tumult of feelings, which couldn't be spoken. So they looked at each other, and it was enough. Katara didn't break it, neither did Zuko. Finally, her lips cracked open. "My Zuko."
Zuko blinked. After a moment, "Ah, fuck it." He grasped her waist and leaned forwards, pulling her close. Katara met him.
Excuse the swearing...it was for the moment. But hope you liked the fic ;-) It was a little rushed, but my brain was getting frazzled when it started reaching to 8000 word mark. One day maybe I will re-write it. Day 3 is Memories if I'm not wrong and that's going to be a super long fic too...okay, bye...
-1/2 of the 2noobs TM