Taiki stared blankly at her reflection in the mirror. Large forehead, long jaw, unusual colored eyes, thin lips, small breasts. Despite what people told her, she never saw herself as beautiful. All the negative words however stayed in her head.
Look at Taiki! She's so freakishly tall! Have you seen her forehead? It's so huge! She looks like a man! What man would want to date her? They'd have to be gay in order to want to date her and even that's a stretch! And have you seen her eyes? What kind of freak has purple eyes?
Tears burned her eyes as the suppressed memories returned. All the times she'd been rejected, all the times she'd been made fun of. Why couldn't she be beautiful like Seiya or Yaten? They were just the right height, feminine, beautiful. Everything she wasn't.
A 11 year old Taiki stood quietly at the back of the class room, holding a hand made valentine she'd made for her crush Ryota. She was shaking nervously as she waited for the bell to ring.
After a long time the bell rang and she quickly raced up from her seat to go give her valentine to him. She'd made sure she looked extra nice today. Her mom had curled her hair and she'd put on a light violet dress. She'd even put on make up.
She nervously walked up to him, clutching the card tightly in her hands. She tapped him nervously on the shoulder and he spun around, confidant brown eyes meeting scared purple ones. "Um, Ryota this is for you." she said as she held out the valentine. "Happy Valentines day." she whispered as she waited nervously for him to take it.
He laughed mockingly at her and swiped the valentine out of her hand, causing it to land on the floor. "Why would I want to accept a valentine from you?" he spat out. "You're so ugly!"
Tears burned Taiki's eyes and she ran out of the classroom, trying to block out the sounds of all her classmate's laughter.
Taiki buried her face in her hands as she cried. Why was she never good enough? It wasn't her fault that she wasn't that feminine.
"Oh look over there! It's that boy Taiki." a girl sneered.
"Someone told me that he's a girl, but I mean how could someone that ugly possibly be a girl?" another one chimed in.
Taiki cast her gaze downwards and tried to ignore them, trying to force a smile onto her face.
Still staring at her reflection, she pulled her hair out of it's ponytail and began to rearrange her hair. She quickly pulled out a tube of red lipstick and applied some to her lips before adding eye shadow, blush, e.t.c to her face.
She then reached over to where her tissue box was and grabbed some tissues, stuffing them in her bra.
She looked at her reflection and she still hated what she saw in the mirror. She only saw an ugly man in the mirror who was wearing make up.
Tears spilled down her cheeks and she wiped away all her makeup with her left hand. She then walked over to her bedside table and pulled out the jar she'd hidden.
She almost had enough for surgery. Maybe then she could look like a girl. Maybe then she'd be loved. Even if it hurt like hell it would be worth it.
"Pain equals beauty." Taiki whispered to herself as she flopped down onto her bed.
"Pain equals beauty." she repeated quietly.