Author's Talk: This is based of the NBC game/reality show Dog Eat Dog. I will explain the rules as we get into it. By the way, I will be the one hosting this. If you want to watch Dog Eat Dog, you can see it on Game Show Network some weeknights at 9 or 10pm eastern time. Ready? Well, too bad, I'm starting anyway.

Intro theme: Shows clip of myself standing on a platform above a trampoline with numbers on it. "One of our 6 contestants from the Jak and Daxter saga will become a human dart!" Jumps onto trampoline, landing on the number 30

intro music and theme clip plays

Flashes to me on the Dog Eat Dog set

Myself: "Hello, and welcome to Dog Eat Dog, the show where survival counts, and weakness costs. I am your host, JakSlyRatchetfan. But you can call me by my first name, Rick. Our 6 contestants from the 'Jak and Daxter' saga will be competing for 25,000 havenbucks. The point of the game is to exploit your opponents' weaknesses. To give them a chance to find out what those are, we sent them to a grueling 24 hour training camp, where their running, driving, swimming, and brains where intensely put to the test. Let's Meet the team."

1:
Name: Jak Mar

Birthplace: who the hell knows?

Current Location: Haven City

Age: 20

Occupation: Professional racer and Savior of the Universe.

Times Saved the Universe from complete and utter destruction: 3

cut to clip of Jak running through the assault course at camp, breezing through it (by "assault" I mean "obstacle")

"Everyone knows I am the strongest. Everyone knows I am a threat. And that may be a disadvantage."

2:
Name: Keira

Birthplace: Sandover Village (Now called "Dead Town")

Current Location: Haven City

Age: 19

Occupation: Mechanic

Time Travels: 1

cut to clip of Keira talking with everyone about possible things that COULD happen on the show, including nudity.

"Wow, I've never been on a game show. This is so exciting. I just hope I don't have to strip"

3:
Name: Torn

Birthplace: who want's to know?

Current Location: Haven City

Age: 27

Occupation: Krimzon Guard Leader

Tattoos: 19

cut to clip of Torn struggling on the climbing test at camp

"Alright, if I win, they better pay me in cash. NO CHECKS!!!"

4:
Name: Daxter

Birthplace: Sandover Village

Current Location: Wherever Jak goes

Age: 19

Occupation: Professional smart-ass and annoying, talking rat

Zingers: too many to count

cut to clip of Daxter breezing up the climbing wall at camp, setting the best time

"Ok, Wha- What's that? WHAT THE HELL, IS IN THAT GOD DAMN BOTTOM RIGHT CORNER? Oh, ha ha. 'Professional smart-ass and annoying talking rat' How original. Oh, and I'm an ottsel, thank you very much."

5:
Name: Ashelin

Birthplace: I'll have to get back to you on that one

Current Location: Haven City

Age: She wouldn't tell

Occupation: Head of Haven City.

cut to clip of Ashelin making a fool of herself at the trivia test at camp

Letters in her first name: What kind of stupid, fucking question is that?!!?

6:

Name: Ottsel Tess

Birthplace: Hmm...

Current Location: Haven City

Age: 18

Occupation: Well, she USED to be a bartender...

cut to clip of Jak opening broom closet after Keira spilled her water at breakfast, and finding Dax and Tess in there) ;-)

"Man, I was really embarrassed at camp... I was caught with Daxter in the Broom Closet" giggles

(NOTE: Tess really does get turned into an ottsel in Jak3. I won't say when, though.)

Author's Wrap: Well, there are the player's profiles. Game Begins next chapter. Ch. 2 Coming Soon!