Harry

"Hey, Harry!"

"I'm trying to work, Ron."

"Oh, sorry, mate."

"Hm."

"Hey, Harry?"

"What?"

"Guess what your name means?"

"What does my name mean, Ron?"

"Ahem. harry [hárri] (plural harries) n Regional. Smallest piglet: the smallest or weakest piglet in a litter. See also: 'underling'."

"WHAT?"

"Yeah."

"What on earth were my parents thinking?"

"I know!"

"Stop snickering! It isn't funny!"

"Yes it is!"

"Oh, hush, some of us still have work to do."

"You're head of Auror department! Get one of your underlings to do it for you!"

"Oh, bugger off!"

Silence.

"Harry?"

"Hm."

"I found another one, Harry!"

"Hm."

"Harry!"

"Hm."

"Harry. Harry Harry Harry Harry Harry!"

"What, Ronald?"

"I found another one!"

"Another what?"

"Another meaning for your name!

"How interesting."

"Isn't it, though!"

"Ever heard of sarcasm, mate?"

"Listen: 1. Cause distress by repeated attacks: to cause somebody physical, mental, or emotional distress by repeated physical or verbal attacks .- Shouldn't that mean you should be good at legimency, though?- or pillage: to raid or pillage a place, especially during a war.- Now I know where all the Hogwarts cutlery disappeared!- [ Old English hergian 'ravage' Germanic, 'army']- Ha! Does this mean I can call you Hergian?"

"Who gave you that dictionary?"

"Hermione. Says I should improve my vocabulary to beyond 'Bloody hell'. In the beginning I was a bit averse- see! New word!- but I have found some choicy swear words- OI! Give it back!"

"If you say one more word, I swear, I will fire you."

"All right, all right. Keep your pants on, Hergian!"

"Thank you."

"I'm done, why can't I just leave?"

"You know what? That's a brilliant idea!"

"Nah, can't leave my best mate behind now, can I?"

"Hmph."

"Accio Dictionary!"

"Did you say something Ron?"

"Nope."

"Good."

Silence.

"Ron will you please stop snickering?"

"Sorry, Hergian."

"Ron!"

"Sorry, sorry!"

"Oh, Merlin! Is it the dictionary again?"

"Do you know that earworms are also called harry-wiggles?"

"Ronald Billius Weasley-"

"Oi! Only Hermione's allowed to pull the full-name card!"

"Ron. Mate. I swear, if I don't finish this report on how the new recruits have not been butchering their missions, the minister will give me the push."

"Ah, no, mate! You're the chosen one! He can't kick you out!"

"Um. Voldemort's been dead for nine years. People will live without me."

*snort* "Speaking of which, how on earth did you become the chosen one? Your name is synonymous with harass, hassle, bother, badger, annoy, irritate, bully and pursue."

"Ron. Give. Me. That. Book."

"You're not going to chuck it in the fire, are you? Because Hermione will have my head. And yours."

"Believe me, it is only the thought of what your wife would do to me if I sack you that keeps me from doing just that. And your daughter can't have an unemployed dad, I guess."

"Yeah, though I recon Ginny would be pissed too. And especially with all those baby hormones both of them have going on..."

"You don't know half of it, mate."

"Really. Ginny might be a redhead, but Hermione? HERMIONE? Hergian, please."

"Well, this is the third time for me. I though James and Al were bad- Oh shit."

"What?"

"James."

"What about James?"

"It's James' birthday party today."

"Oh."

"Yep."

"Well, fuck."

"You said it."

"At least it isn't Rose's."

"You're supposed to be there too, mate."

"Oh, bloody hell!"

"Yeah, screw the work."

*footsteps running towards the door* "Let's go, Hergian!"

A/N: I wrote this ages ago because I needed a break from serious writing, okay? I put it up only as proof that I can write stuff that is stupid. I don't mind reviews telling me that it was lame. I know it was. *hint hint*.