Pairing(s): Italy/Germany (mainly) & Spain/Romano

Warnings: Yaoi, Sexuality, Gore.

Human or Countries: Countries but they are able to die and get wounded.

Summary: WW2 AU. Feliciano Vargas has been hidding most of the time during the war in Italy. Going after Ludwig during war times was maybe one of the worst decisions he could ever make. Will he be able to show his love for Ludwig before it is too late?

Everytime he went away,

Everytime he ignored me,

He broke another part of my heart,

Feliciano Vargas (N. Italy)

Chapter 1:

The streets were dark, way too dark for days like these. Like the sun gave up on the earth or the earth gave up on the sun. Feliciano Vargas, a young Italian boy, also known as Italy Veneziano hurried to his home. It felt like his heart was beating in his throat and twice as fast. The boy's heart was filled with indescribable sadness and fear, Ludwig sounded so angry today. Why was Ludwig angry at him? Did he do something wrong? Or was it just that the strong and handsome German lieutenant had trouble to keep things up nowadays?

So many things, horrible things, had happened these last few years. The Nazis had got a new leader, Mussolini took over Ethiopia, the Kristallnacht (which was one of the most terrible things Feliciano had ever experienced) and many, many more. Why did life had to be so cruel at times like these? Yet Feliciano couldn't stop, he did this for his country, because it felt right to him. And Feliciano didn't only do it for himself but also for Ludwig.

Why did Ludwig choose for another war? Why didn't he just take a break? Or better… Not fight! Feliciano once had made a white flag for his dear friend, but he never used it! Maybe it just wasn't a part of his nature. But why did he like dangerous things then? Feliciano was pretty worried about Ludwig's wellbeing and he was unable to think about anything else then Ludwig.

Feliciano sighed deeply as he walked as one of the last people over the market. Years ago this market had been one of the happiest places on earth, but now none of that was left. The people were scared and hid most of their times in their houses, the streets were all dirty from no maintenance and even though it was around six o'clock it seemed like twelve in the night. Feliciano's eyes fell on an old vegetable stall, he knew the owner all too well and they really seemed to get along. Feliciano hipped to the stall, Feliciano was one of those rare, happy guys in the city who loved to cheer the atmosphere up.

"Ve~! Marcus! How are you doing? How is little Clementine doing? Is she alright? She has grown so big since I saw her last time!" A young, but strong build Italian man showed up from behind the corner of his stall and gave a friendly smile to Feliciano while he opened his arms to hug him.

"Feliciano! Mon amigo!" Marcus pulled the Italian boy in for a hug while Feliciano kept laughing at his response, after a while Feliciano pulled away from the stronger guy and his eyes fell on a small girl hiding behind his back.

"She really has grown a lot!" Feliciano said with a happy and loud tune, the girl slowly came from behind her father's back, looking up at Feliciano as a small smile escaped her lips. Feliciano went on his knees and stroke through the girl's dark brown hair before looking up at her father again. Feliciano slowly stood up and stared at a box of tomatoes, Marcus followed Feliciano's gaze and laughed slightly as he saw what Feliciano was looking at.

"How many tomatoes?" Marcus guessed, he knew that when Feliciano saw the tomatoes he always bought at least one, mainly because his brother adored them so much. Feliciano took a few steps closer to the tomatoes and looked over to Marcus.

"Ten please! My brother and I wanted to make some pasta tonight, I could make some for you and your family to if you want?" Feliciano almost danced to the box Marcus held out to him.

"You may have them for free meu amigo…" Feliciano smiled thankfully as he took the tomatoes he needed and hurried back home. Feliciano slightly opened the door and peeked through the small opening. When suddenly an ear-splitting shout came from the living room.

"Veneziano!" Feliciano almost bumped against the wall in shock. He got used to his brother's loud voice, yet it could sometimes scare him to death when it came out of nowhere. Feliciano stared into the living room for a while before he took a few steps further.

"Si?" Feliciano was exhausted, yet he had to help his brother with whatever was on his mind. Feliciano slowly removed his jacket before he took his boots off and carefully walked to where his brother was. As he arrived in the living room Feliciano could see that Lovino broke another vase. The poor guy was kneeled on the ground to pick up all the pieces one by one. Feliciano got used to these kind of situations, his brother had a muscle disease and had always been clumsy when he was alone.

Feliciano almost danced over to his frustrated brother and helped him to pick up all the pieces of glass from the ground.

"You are late…" Lovino snarled as he tilted his head to face his younger brother. Feliciano sighed deeply, now he was going to have the same old conversation with his brother like he always had. His heart started to ache again as he swallowed deeply, slowly gazing at Lovino, his angry look scared him!

"Doitsu and I-…" Feliciano couldn't finish when his brother suddenly started to shout at him, Feliciano slowly collapsed at the sight of his brother.

"Doitsu, Doitsu, Doitsu, why is it always him?! How many times do I have to tell you that, that bastard is no good for you!" Feliciano tried to choke out words but they came out like small, squeaking whispers.

"I-I'm sorry… Doitsu needed me to sign something important…" Feliciano lied. Well… Doitsu wasn't his real name, it was more like Japanese for Germany and Feliciano liked that nickname.

"Ugh… Always that Potato Head. Why do you even work together with him, hm? He is just a lot of trouble, that's all!" Lovino scowled, he had a point there! But Feliciano never listened to anything of what Lovino said, he liked Ludwig just the way he is.

"He has a good reason for it…" It almost felt like the words danced on Feliciano's tongue. Feliciano tapped his brother's shoulder a few times with the hope that he would calm down a bit. Lovino gave Feliciano a stern look and immediately took his hand away from his shoulder. He didn't want to discuss all this over again, but he had no choice!

"I've explained my opinion almost twenty times and still you won't believe me? Well, don't come crying on my shoulder when Potato Head hurts your damn feelings again! Because I've warned you!" Lovino stood up like a flash, took a few steps away before hitting the table with full speed. Another vase shattered in a thousands of sparkling pieces on the ground. Feliciano shrieked in shock and accidently hit a wall again, now softly whimpering.

"I'm sorry! Please don't kill me because of my decision! It's just that I love to be together with Doitsu! He's not one of those people who try to reject my friendship or breaks the friendship because I talk and stalk to much!" Feliciano begged as he slowly curled up into a ball. Lovino growled before he started all over again with cleaning up the pieces glass.

"That's not what I mean Feliciano! It's just… Ugh! Why can't I ever have a normal conversation with you?!" After that sentence an awkward, long silence followed and the brothers didn't speak to each other, even after making the pasta Feli had promised to do. Feliciano even went to bed earlier because he felt to miserable to stay any longer downstairs with Lovino. Lovino, who was reading a book, was actually only staring at the letters, unable to even read a word though his mind was to chaotic.

Feliciano sighed deeply as he slowly laid down on bed, his mind was way too messy to even shut an eye. What had happened between all the Countries? Normally they never had any trouble talking, but now? Feliciano couldn't even finish a normal sentence, it seemed like everything he said was bad. Or was it just that he annoyed all the other Countries in times like these? He sure could be annoying but was that a bad thing then? Did Ludwig still see him as a friend? Feliciano shivered by the thought, why did he even dare to think about that?! Of course Ludwig saw him like a friend! Ludwig made a promise with him! Feliciano stared at his fingers, he felt so lonely through the war… Ludwig was too busy to even say a word to him, Lovino hated him for being friends with Ludwig, Japan had his own things and Spain… Yeah Spain was needed in his own country.

A few more hours passed and after lots and lots of curling, sobbing and thinking, Feliciano finally managed to fall into a restless and painful sleep. He had a nightmare that night. Only there was no one to hold him or comfort him, so when he woke up, he just cuddled with his own pillow, with the hope to feel better. But even that didn't work. After more hours had passed, it had been enough for Feliciano. He lifted himself off the bed and walked to the bathroom. The first thing his eyes fell on, was his reflection in the mirror, he looked terrible! Like he hadn't slept for days! He slowly took a glass and filled it with water, taking a few small sips before another ache went through his heart. What was this pain he had been feeling lately? Why was he thinking so much about Ludwig?

Feliciano almost broke the glass with his hand as he tried to think about something else but with no use. He wanted to scream, he wanted to shout, but if he did he would probably wake his brother up. And another angry and scary conversation with his brother would be a real nightmare.

After taking another sip Feliciano went back to bed. He had to stay in bed! He slowly pulled his blanket all over his face as another few heartbreaking sobs escaped his mouth. He wanted to go back to Germany! He wanted to see Ludwig again! See those beautiful sky-blue eyes, the bluest things in the world and hold him one more time! He was going to Germany! No matter what his brother thought about it! No matter what everyone thought about it! No one could hold him back. With these thoughts he fell asleep and also felt better.

…

It was early in the morning when the first beams of sunlight reached Feliciano's face. The warmth slowly crept through his hair and warmed his skin until it almost burned. Feliciano slowly opened his eyes and almost immediately jumped out of bed when he realised that it was morning! The night had been so terrible and Feliciano's pillow was still wet from his crying! The young Italian boy practically ran to his clothes, put them on and ran downstairs just to hear another scolding from Lovino.

"What makes you so happy today? You held me up all night because of your crying!" Lovino snapped as a yawn escaped his mouth. Feliciano giggled softly, scratching the back of his head.

"Uhm, yeah… I'm sorry about that…" Feliciano tried to avoid Lovino's gaze and walked to the kitchen to take the leftovers from the pasta he had promised to Marcus.

"I wish I could also say that to you…" Lovino scowled before almost falling on the couch the grab the book he wasn't even going to read. Feliciano sighed as a sad smile escaped his lips.

"I'm leaving Lovino… I'm sorry…" Lovino practically threw to book against the wall and jumped up from the couch, he stared at Feliciano like he just had seen Flying Mint Bunny and his eyes burned against Feliciano's skin.

"What?!" Lovino shouted as he run over to Feliciano, grabbing his arm firmly. "What are you talking about you bastard?!" Feliciano just laughed sadly.

"I want to visit Doitsu, I'm sorry Lovino…" He said as he pulled himself away from Lovino's grip and walked with a big bow past him. "I will be back… But for now, I want to be with Doitsu!" Why did Feliciano suddenly react so mysterious? It was almost scary since he had never been like this before! It was true, to be exact, Ludwig was the only person that could make Feliciano happy, that was why he always stayed with him after they had met. He brought Feliciano to life and made him feel loved again! Just like Lovino felt beloved by Antonio. But just as friends! Don't get it wrong!

"F-Feliciano?" A whimper escaped Lovino's mouth although he didn't like to admit it. "I beg you… Please don't do this! Even Potato Head wouldn't have wanted this!" Feliciano shook his head, he was so stubborn when he wanted something! And when he wanted to do something, you couldn't stop him from doing it either.

"Okay… I promise you I'll stay… But first I need to deliver something…" Lovino sighed in relief and a relieved yet scary smile appeared over his lips. Feliciano nodded slightly before taking the pasta and walking out of the kitchen to the front door.

"Thank goodness Veneziano…" Lovino answer as he started to make breakfast for himself.

"Bye!" Feliciano tried to sound as happy as always. He even waved at his brother before opening the front door and going back to the market. The weather was incredible outside. The birds sang again, the sun shine bright and even the children played outside again since a long time. Feliciano enjoyed weathers like these because they have been very rare lately.

Feliciano practically ran to the market shouting Marcus name all the way. How could he be this energetic, even in time like these. He jumped the last few metres because that went faster for some reason and stopped in front of Marcus' shop. To Feliciano's surprise even Marcus was out, he even seemed happier than normal and kept singing as he cleaned up the mess behind the bar. He stopped cleaning when he noticed that someone was standing right in front of him and he looked up rather surprised than happy.

"Feliciano?" Marcus smiled happily and walked from behind the bar. "What brings you here this early?"

"I came here to bring you some pasta like promised remember?" Feliciano laughed as he handed the box full of pasta over to his human friend. Marcus took the pasta without hesitating and smiled reassuring.

"Yes I remember! Oh… And I almost forgot! I was supposed to give this yesterday from my wife. She was really thankful of all the happiness you brought us last months!" Marcus put the pasta next to him on the bar and took a small box from underneath him. "Here! She made it all by herself."

Feliciano immediately took the box and made a thankful gesture before opening it, in the box there was a small plushie of a cat. Feliciano adored cats and he immediately smiled thankful to Marcus.

"Thank you so much! Now I never will be alone while sleeping!" Marcus family knew that Feliciano always adored to cuddle with when he was going to bed, but he never really had a plushie to cuddle with. Feliciano put the small plushie in one of his pockets and gave Marcus a big and strong hug. After that he turned around and ran away, still waving to him after he left the market.

Suddenly a thought hit Feliciano, today he wanted to go to Ludwig! Because another day without him would totally break his heart. But he had promised Lovino to stay! Lovino would become so angry if he found out that Feliciano had left for Ludwig again. He would probably be tied against a wall for the rest of his life.

Feliciano sighed deeply, why did he had to make such hard decisions? He looked around quickly and stared at the street he and his brother lived in. He shook his head fiercely. He wasn't going to come home today. He was going to Ludwig and no one could stop him from doing that!

…

Feliciano waved on the side of the road with his white flag, he needed someone to drive him to the border, but all the cars kept ignoring him! How long had he been standing here by now? One hour? Two hours? At least long enough to feel rather miserable. He was desperate for a lift now. He couldn't stand here forever!

Feliciano sighed dramatically and sat himself down on the ground. Was he ever going to get to Germany? Or was he stuck in Italy forever? Suddenly a car stopped right in front of him, Feliciano first didn't notice and kept staring at the grey and ugly ground before a voice made his body shiver.

"Do you need a lift?" A familiar, male voice asked. Feliciano stared up from the ground to find a younger man staring at him. He wore a pair of glasses and had beautiful sea-blue eyes. Feliciano immediately recognized him and jumped up to hug the guy.

"America! Oh I'm so glad to see you! I've missed you so much, like seriously I haven't seen another Country for days!" Alfred laughed slightly and petted the Italian's back firmly.

"Me to. I haven't seen many Countries around, such a shame dude…" Alfred pointed at his car, a beautiful black car, one of the newest models. "Well, come in. You needed a lift right?"

Feliciano nodded happily as he jumped in the car, waiting for Alfred to come in. The two hadn't talked very often, but when they did Alfred always put a smile on his face. Just like him he was young and energetic and loved to be surrounded by friends.

"Where did you want to go Ita?" He went with his gaze to Feliciano who was rather a bit too energetic.

"Personally I want to get into Germany…" Feliciano was cut off by Alfred who sounded rather scared now. His voice trilling and his a hands shacking.

"I may be the hero but that doesn't sound like a very good plan. All the borders are under strict surveillance, getting past it would be impossible. Just like you I want to end this war, but the only way to do that could make things worse. I could try and drop you by one of the borders, but from there on you need to do everything on your own. You understand? You know that you are no longer a part of the Axis Italy…" Feliciano had never heard Alfred this serious before, it felt like he was stuck in those words, stuck in the pain of war. But he was unable to come out.

"Yes…" Feliciano faintly nodded, he was a bit disappointed but it was at least better than nothing. Maybe this was his only chance to meet up with Ludwig again. He wanted to see his best friend again… No… He needed to see his best friend desperately!

It was a long road towards the borders, it felt like an eternity to Feliciano and yet he felt incredibly bad for leaving Lovino like this. It didn't matter to him. Lovino could do anything to him when he got back home. He could even trap him forever in the backyard if he wanted to. Or worse… Never feed him pasta again. He would do anything just to see Ludwig again, his Ludwig and the Ludwig he knew. Yet Feliciano had no idea why he was so desperate for Ludwig and why it hurted him every second he was apart from him even more.

"Where were you heading?" Feliciano asked after a long silence. Alfred was rather surprised but immediately spook.

"I was actually heading to France, we may not get along a lot, but we both are a part of the Allies. We needed to make some plans… For the upcoming months…" Alfred said the last words a bit hesitating which made them come out like small, squeaky, whispers.

"You mean big brother France?" Feliciano had always been curious in situations like these. But even he knew he had to be careful with what he asked for. Curiosity had always leaded him and helped him to move forward and open new doors to new paths. Curiosity is a good thing, as long as you know how to use it properly. We are all humans in a way and humans need curiosity because without curiosity the life would only be boring and there would be no challenges to overcome.

"Yeah!" Alfred smiled way to sweet, how could he still be smiling in a situation like this? They both always smiled during the worst situations. Yet they both knew when something was a bit off.

After a few more hours of driving and talking they finally arrived by the border. Alfred stopped at least hundredth metres away from it because it would be kind of suspicious if he stopped right in front of it just deliver an Italian boy who didn't even know what to do.

"I better stop here because if I go any further they might think the worst… Do you have a plan actually?" Alfred raised an eyebrow as he looked with a questioning expression at Feliciano. Feliciano shook his head and immediately looked down ashamed.

"No…" He murmured through his teeth.

"Well then… I might have an idea for you!" Feliciano immediately looked up in surprise. Would Alfred really come up with a plan just for him?!

"Every day there go hundredths of cars in and out these borders with the permission of the Country. Probably because they are German or a part of the Axis, whatever. But back to the point… Some of these cars deliver stuff, like prisoners and weapons for the army. And since you are one of the fastest guys I know you might just be able to get into one car. But! Be warned! These guys on the border check everything, everything single detail of these cars and if they find the least suspicious thing it will all be over. But okay, when you get into one of these cars and are able to sneak into the Country you have to jump out as soon as the arrive in front of the cities. Because when they do, they will in all probability stop and then you are in serious trouble. You understand?" Feliciano nodded as he listened to every single detail Alfred told him.

"Yes, thank you very much…" America nodded as a small smile escaped his lips.

"Good luck dude…" Feliciano went out of the car and even waved Alfred goodbye when he decided to go his own way. Feliciano looked around, now he was all alone again. But he was going to try everything he could to get inside Germany! And so Feliciano waited again and waited and waited just a little more, until finally after hours of waiting a car with coal came to his direction. This was his chance! Maybe this was even his last chance!

He waited just a little longer until the car had driven past him. Feliciano immediately sprinted after the car as fast as he could and tried to keep up. As the car got closer to the border it started to slow down and Feliciano started to get tired from running. But no! He wasn't going to give up this easily! Ludwig had trained him for this several times and he was even faster than him! He was going to make it!

Feliciano bit his under lip and jumped against the back of the car to climb into it. He sighed in relief… It was over, he was save. That was when he realised Alfred's last words 'These guys on the border check everything, every single detail of these cars and if they find the least suspicious thing it will all be over'. Feliciano had to hide somewhere! He immediately started to dig through the big amount of coal and buried himself under the black stone. It smelled so terrible, but Feliciano had to hold on for just a little longer! He was almost there!

Suddenly he heard the car stop and two voices came from down him. They were probably checking the driver's papers and after that one pair of footsteps was heard, coming to his direction. Feliciano held his heart and waited for the worst to come. But it didn't come, instead the man just walked back to driver and told him that everything was alright and that he had the permission to pass.

Feliciano sighed in relief and waited until the car had finally driven past the borders before he climbed out of the thick layer of coal. He couched a few times before looking around him. He had made it! He was in Germany! The hardest part was done now.

...

After hours of driving Feliciano could see a city in the far distance. And he started to prepare himself for jumping out of the car. The car drove on his top-speed and Feliciano loved the chilly breezes of air that blew through his hair. Feliciano waited just a little more before he started to make his way down the car. He silently looked around and searched for a soft place to land, after that he jumped out of the car, bumped his head pretty hard and landed on the ground.

Feliciano slowly stood up and almost started whimpering when he realised that his head was bleeding. But at least he made it! He hurried to the nearby city, hoping that he could find out which city this was. And it did help, cause when he stood at the city entrance he found a small note saying Braunschweig. Braunschweig?! That was exactly the place Ludwig lived! Feliciano didn't know if he was having good luck now, or that things just got better from here.

But one thing was for sure… Feliciano was going to see Ludwig soon and he would never feel lonely again, at least for now.

To be continue...

Pfffft... There were so many things not right with this chapter the first time I uploaded it... XD I now see how many times I've used their name instead of "he" or "him", I'd better chance that in the upcoming chapters... =/

My rp-partner-real-life-friend (long word) and I also changed the place Ludwig lived in, because... Well... We had to, not spoiling anything. ;) But we really had to.

Ludwig and Feliciano knew each other already before this. Let's just say that the whole Hetalia series all took place long before this story started. And they are Countries in this story as well... It is a little hard to let them be Countries instead of Humans, just like the Timeline in this story is very important. We both have been working WAY to much on this story lately... XD

Hope you like it though,

And please review~! :D