Disclaimer: As you all probably already know, I don't own Durarara!

Warning: This takes place post anime, and will include novel characters! So basically, there may be spoilerific content! I've only read up to volume 6 of the novel though, so if you're there, past there, or just don't care, I guess it's fine.

Warning 2: I think some characters might get a bit OOC! And also of course this story has guy/guy love, so watch out! Also, this story's a comedy, so there's gonna be a lot of peculiar and wacky things going on! Probably. Even I don't really know.

This is my first fic since I was in middle school, so I hope it's enjoyable~ And just to let you know, I'm not in middle school anymore. ;)

EDIT: Grammar and spelling errors all fixed now! Hurrah!

Kida sat still in his chair, staring intently at the laptop screen. So intently that it seemed his eyes might pop out at any minute. Arms wrapped around him softly and he let out a long sigh.

"Saki…I don't know what to do anymore…"

"Oh Masaomi, what's the matter? Your friend in trouble again?" Saki murmured the words softly against his ear, slowly caressing his shoulders with the tips of her fingers.

All Kida did in reply was sigh again. "I…I think Mikado's in trouble. I should be there! I should be trying to protect him!" A troubled expression crossed his face as he continued to absently stare at the computer screen.

"Why don't you go and check up on him then?" This was probably the eighteenth time Saki had suggested for Kida to return to Ikebukuro, but for some reason the boy was just dead set on always finding some kind of loop hole in his own logic to prevent him from returning.

"This…This probably isn't something I'd really be able to help by showing up! I should've been there since the beginning…" Kida grimaced at his own uselessness.

"Why don't you just go and see what you can do? It's no good just to give up now, Masaomi." Saki leaned her head against his back. She always enjoyed leaning close against him, but for some reason Kida always responded with spacey comments or negative thoughts. It was all good though, since no matter what happened, Kida was still always adorable and lovable.

Kida continued his sighs and staring off into great distances. "I don't even know what I'd say if I met him now. I've been gone so long, I'd just be interrupting his peaceful life! Although…hmm, maybe I would be able to help right now if I just—no! I can't do it. I'd just be hurting him more."

At this point Saki was hugging him very closely, nuzzling against the crook of his neck. "What's the problem this time anyways, Masaomi?"

Silence filled the room. Saki could practically feel the aura of troubling feelings that emanated from Kida's forlorn form. Kida shifted a little. "Well…you know how I'm in the same chatroom as Mikado?"

"Mmhm."

"Well…I think...I feel Mikado's troubled lately by something. I feel he's…he's found a new crush besides Anri-chan!" Sweat slipped down from Kida's forehead. He was definitely very worried about this turn of events.

"Maybe he's just realized she's not for him or something."

"That can't be! Anri and Mikado…they are MADE for each other! I can tell these things, Saki." Kida turned to Saki, his face gleaming with the face of confidence.

"Hmm, well if you say so, Masaomi. Maybe that means you should return to Ikebukuro to figure out what's up." She smiled sweetly at him.

The sweetness of her smile shot right over his head. Kida turned back to his screen and said, "Saki. I…I feel returning wouldn't help Mikado."

"Hmm, well if you say so, Masaomi." She nuzzled against him some more, and the two both continued a long and comfortable silence.

Ryuugamine Mikado stood in his room, staring out of his window at the sunlight that broke through the leaves, scattering bits of light on various branches and walls. He breathed out a long sigh.

The fact was that Mikado had a dilemma. A great dilemma. However the dilemma was not one to be solved easily, as its root had taken its place deep within the boy's young heart. You see, Mikado had started to come to the belief that he may not actually like girls. Of course that sounded quite impossible, but the thing was, Mikado had never actually thought about being with a boy before, so his opinions from back when he was on the straight path were probably a bit biased and judged a bit unfairly. Of course none of this really made much sense, but a variety of thoughts like these whirled through his mind.

One could say he was distressed and all this was just some sort of teenage phase, but Mikado knew better than that! Recently he, against his better judgment, had found a man of all things "attractive" as one may put it. Normally it wouldn't even be possible much less plausible, but somehow...it happened anyways.

All his life, or more like all his Ikebukuro life, Mikado had thought that his ideal partner would be a nice, quiet girl about his age. Maybe with glasses and...short black hair would be preferred. It'd be a huge plus if she was well endowed and of course she would come across as a studious person, though she'd have compassion that would make all her friends love her, no matter how mysterious at times she might be! This kind of girl, Mikado would die to have by his side 'til he withered of old age. But alas...perhaps that wouldn't happen at the rate things were going. It was all because of that incident from a few days back. That incident! When Mikado had beheld-

A tune echoed throughout Mikado's barrenly decorated room. He pulled his cell out of his pocket and turned off its alarm. He stared thoughtfully at his phone screen before hurriedly putting it away. If he kept staring and pondering like this, he'd be late for school! Good thing he'd set that alarm, although seeing that image did make him recall some probably unwanted memories. Why did he put that picture as his cell background anyways. Aaagh this is no time for thinking pointless stuff! School awaits!

Unlike usual, Mikado started the day with a delicious meal of seafood flavored instant noodles. He didn't have time to cook up something more healthy, so why not indulge in the easy stuff just for today. Although it was true he did have instant noodles for breakfast yesterday. And the day before that too. Mikado really had to stop the whole flashbacks in the morning thing or he'd really die of some kind of instant noodle disease. Though there were more important issues to deal with right now besides thinking like this! Something like finishing his noodles! So he put his mind to that.

By the time he was walking out the door, Mikado had decided for himself to forget his troubles. Just because his mind had reacted to something in a way it probably shouldn't be reacting to, that didn't mean he had stepped off the straight path. Though when Mikado really thought about it, he didn't really want to be on a straight everyday guy path! However he did when it came to sexual preferences of course.

...For some reason this weird coinciding of ideas troubled the young lad. To be on one straight path and off of another. There were too many kinds of paths that could be referred to metaphorically.

"Sempaaaaai!"

Mikado turned to see one of his underclassmen running at him. He was a bit baffled to be honest. "Ah, Aoba-kun? What're you doing here?"

"I wanted to walk with you to school, of course!" The shorter boy showed his signature smile! So charming, yet so ineffective against Mikado. "You left your house earlier than expected, sempai! Do you have some sort of plans before school?"

"Um, no." Mikado had more important issues to deal with besides his incredibly suspicious underclassman. He thought for a second before continuing, "I guess I set my alarm too early or something."

"Hmm, you aren't usually so spacey, sempai! Well you are sometimes, but not usually when it comes to getting up too early." Aoba's plan of the 'at the door surprise kouhai' was ruined due to Mikado's leaving early today! Although, there was a reason for everything, so Mikado's getting up early definitely must have had some kind of intricate reason behind it!

Mikado sighed. Ever since the whole Blue Squares thing, he felt that Aoba had been showing up around him more than usual. Not that that was really bad or strange or anything, seeing as how they'd just met recently, but still. At times when Mikado was having an internal crisis, he just wanted to be left alone by people like Aoba, who turned out to be surprisingly nosy in Mikado's affairs.

Aoba continued his analysis of Mikado's issue as the two headed towards school. His thoughts ranged from "is this some personal conflict pertaining to his love for Sonohara-san?" to "he's meeting some suspicious individual before school who has blackmail on him!" Though obviously most of his thoughts consisted of varieties of "that Orihara bastard must've done something to him!" and "maybe that Orihara fucking Izaya looped him up into some sort of insidious plot!"

Eventually Aoba turned to Mikado and attempted to look him in the eye. Mikado was busy spacing out again though. "Uh, Mikado-sempai?" A tug to the sleeve would do the trick.

"Uh? Huh, what." Mikado looked down at Aoba. What'd he want.

"Well, if anything's happened and I can help, feel free to ask! And don't forget you have all of us at command too!" Perhaps words like these would cheer Mikado into a more readable mood.

Alas Mikado only stared. "Yeah I know." He then turned back to concentrate on walking. Making sure he didn't trip on anything maybe? Aoba was sure he was just thinking about his issue. This issue...of which Aoba knew absolutely nothing. Now Aoba had a great dilemma at hand as well. Why didn't he stalk Mikado the past few days, why. Just because he'd felt he didn't need to doesn't mean he shouldn't have! A lesson was learned today.

Disappointingly for Aoba, upon their arrival at school, Mikado did not have any meeting with suspicious individuals. In fact, he just headed for class like normal, without any signs of suspicious activity. Aoba supposed that Mikado's dilemma was much more...intricate and was probably...something emotional perhaps? Perhaps this was an issue with Sonohara after all.

Also sadly for Aoba, Mikado told him to go to his own class and stop tailing him. Mikado sighed some more. He was the first in his class, as expected for getting here too early. He sat in his seat and stared out the window for a while, before taking out his cellphone from his pocket. When he opened it up, the background image lit up. It was the form of a slim person with long black hair standing beside Mikado himself. To Mikado, this person came across as pretty, elegant, and demure in appearance, although of course at this point he knew it was all a lie. There was a story behind this photo, and Mikado decided it was time to recall it in a flashback-like manner to pass the time before class started.

It was just a normal day that day a few days ago...so normal...yet so abnormal. Though Mikado liked abnormal of course. Not that he had to really persuade himself or anything! Hmm, anyhow, he was enjoying a normal day. Mikado recalled that he was on a beautiful outing with the most perfect girl his eyes had ever beheld. Although he usually spent after-school with Sonohara-san, this day was special, since he'd invited her this time. The invitation had gone something like this:

"Aah, S-S-Sonohara-san!"

"Yes, Mikado-kun?"

"Ah, there's no school tomorrow right? Let's go...out somewhere together! To...uh spend some time...on an outing! To...look...at...the city...! Yes that's right."

"Um...alright."

To Mikado, it was an invitation to be proud of, seeing as it was successful. Well anyhow, so the date, no...outing together, went splendidly. Up until it became very peculiar that is.

The poor young Mikado had witnessed the most shocking revelation in his life that day. That day, he and the lovely Sonohara were walking down your everyday Ikebukuro street. She happened to be wearing a cap, and the wind happened to be a tad strong that evening, so of course that hat would have to go flying eventually. When it first blew off the beautiful young maiden's head, Mikado had to cry out! He had to make chase! He had to grab that hat as if his life depended on it. Alas upon his approach of the street corner, he collided headlong into a long haired woman.

He fell onto his rear end, and when he opened his eyes, he saw her. She had also fallen over, and had a dismayed look on her face. Her hair was a long black, a similar color to Sonohara's, and she had deep brown eyes that looked slightly red in the light, a similar color to Sonohara's, although this woman had a figure much slimmer in certain areas compared to the divine bespectacled classmate, as well as having an entirely different face structure, but the fact was that Mikado had to slap himself for comparing another female to his ideal Sonohara Anri-san.

Soon enough Mikado came to his senses. "Um, are you alright?" He said to the mysterious woman while standing up. The woman seemed to be having issues getting back up, so Mikado reached out his hand in a helpful matter. The woman however ignored it, proceeding to stand up on her own.

"..king heels..." she mumbled under her breath. She eventually was standing on both feet again, although her expression told Mikado that she wasn't planning to stay very soon.

"Say cheese!" piped an unfamiliar voice. Mikado turned around and saw a small flash, blinding him momentarily. There stood a young girl with red glasses in some kind of school uniform, holding up a cellphone. Mikado's cellphone. Wait what. Mikado checked his pockets...and they were empty.

The girl handed the phone back to him before tugging at the mysterious woman's arm. The woman was not amused. "Uh, huh?" said Mikado, who had no clue what was going on. "Uh, you shouldn't just go taking people's phones from their pockets." Now that he looked at the weird glasses girl, he could've sworn that he'd seen her somewhere before. But where.

"Oh it's okay, since I put it back right? Well now you have a little gift in there thanks to me~ A lovely picture of you with Iza—ahem, I mean, onee-chan~"

Another girl emerged into Mikado's line of vision, identical to the glasses one, except this one was bustier and was more bloomerful. Er, she was wearing bloomers. It was a strange sight to see in broad daylight and in the middle of the city. "Grateful (You should be grateful for that photo)," she said. Mikado couldn't understand what point she was trying to get across. Although...he could've sworn he'd seen this girl somewhere before too. Unless he'd only seen one and their twinness had caused his mind to malfunction a little.

As Mikado was a bit confused at this moment, he decided to turn to Sonohara-san. Only to find that she had quite the perplexed look on her face. She was staring straight at the long haired woman. "Sonohara-san?" Mikado reached towards her.

"Aaaaah!" The glasses girl feigned shock. "Don't tell me you've seen through the disguise!"

"Impossible (That's just preposterous)." The bloomers girl seemed dismayed.

"Huh what?" Mikado just had no idea what was going on.

"Can't you even tell?" asked the glasses girl, "you should be a bit more observant, sempai."

"What should I be observing?" Mikado was still just confused.

"That this pretty onee-san here is actually that Izaya guy in drag."

"Wait what."

Mikado was in shock. That pretty onee-san, er, that Izaya in drag, also seemed to be a bit shocked, probably not having expected Mairu to reveal his identity so readily like that.

The two twins stared at Mikado for a few seconds.

The bloomer one said, "Shock (He seems pretty surprised)."

The glasses one said, "Haha~! Oh god, that look on your face-! Iza-nii you must be soo embarassed! Hahaha!"

But for some reason, even though Mikado had at this moment in his line of sight both his ideal girl and this older man in drag, for some reason he still found Izaya pretty. In fact the idea seemed almost thrilling in his mind.

And that's why, at the recalling of this moment, Mikado bashed his head against his desk a bit too hard.

"Kyaaa!"

He thought he heard a scream in the corner of his mind. He must be dreaming again...

Thunk.

End of chapter 1

I'll write chapter two as soon as I get to it~ Hope you guys all enjoy it so far. Review if you feel like it!