I don't own Spike, Dawn, yadda dada da... But I loooove Spike!
Sequel to "Revival". Please review so that I know you're reading it ).
"Strange, really. When I lived with Buffy I felt like I was a part of her. Now that I'm with Spike I am like a part of him, a little bit of him.
Now I feel … whole. Accepted. Needed. Not yet loved, but that'd come, I'm certain. Spike thinks the crypt's a bit of a bad influence. He thinks I suffer from the lack of sunlight. I tell him he's being silly, but I do miss it sometimes. The 'normal' teenage life. I miss having a mom and a sister. I've lost everything even remotely 'normal' in my life after I found out I was the key. I feel fake sometimes, when Spike's not there to hold me as thoughts and memories overwhelm me. I'm not sure where I really belong. I'm not sure of anything anymore. The things I thought real were false memories. Is this real?
I've often wondered why he smokes so much. But then why shouldn't he? It's not hazardous to his health. He once told me smoking makes him feel more human. I guess the same goes for drinking. And it gives him a sort of 'human' smell.
He misses it, I think. Being human. I've sometimes wondered if that's a part of what attracts him to me. My heart, my life, my soul. If I were to lose these… would he still want me? I wish he wasn't so distant though. Me living creates a gap between us. He doesn't tell me so many things.
Funny when I was with Buffy, I hated being a bit of her. Now I welcome being a bit of Spike. I always thought I needed to be my own person to feel content. I finally know now that that wasn't what I really wanted. Spike accepts me, he wants us to be as one single person while Buffy always…always tried to push me away. She never saw me as me… The knowledge hurts me so much."
Dawn continued to write on and on. Things she couldn't tell anyone… not to Spike 'cause they were about him. And not to anyone else because there wasn't anyoneelse. Not that she was particularly lonely. He was so much more than enough. She couldn't even imagine breathing without him. Still... she was fifteen and needed a family, even as she was growing up so fast. But she was happy.
It was around midnight; the walls of the crypt were still warm form the summer day heat. Dawn wore a black denim short skirt and a vanilla-colored top, her hair curled. It was a special occasion: exactly one month since they were together. She smiled, thinking over the happy month: dancing, kissing, talking. She bit on her lip worrying if he'd forgotten. After all one month wasn't that big a deal for more than a 100 year old vampire, was it?
As Spike neared the crypt, he thought over what he wanted to tell her. That he needed her, wanted her, loved her, more that anything. That he wanted to give her the world as he'd traveled it. Wait, rephrase that. Maybe not exactly as he'd traveled it…but still. He lit a cigarette out of habit and then threw it away thinking he'd probably have to stop smoking since it could hardly do any good to Dawn. Then he thought over all his bad habits and how he'd probably have to change them for her good. As the list exceeded 15 without the facts that he was much much older, evil and a vampire, he felt dizzy... and uncertain. He stopped in front of the crypt; a familiar thought "if I left, Dawn'd be probably better off on her own" danced around his mind. He pushed it aside and finally entered the crypt.
As he saw her, he felt that even his undead heart must have moved at the sight of her.
"You are my sunshine
My only sunshine
You make me happy…", he sang, smiling. Dawn heard him, a big smile over her face, as she came towards him, and put her arms around his neck. They looked in each others eyes as they sang on.
"When skies are grey
You'll never know dear
How much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away"
"One month, love."
"I thought you might've forgotten…" she looked down.
Spike touched her chin, lifting her head up.
"Don't be a half-wit," he said it with so much love… as he kissed her softly.
"You know, bit, we could go out for a walk… the night's young," he winked.
"Sure." Dawn went over to take her jacket, her heart thumping in her chest. God, how she loved that man.
Please review. I have ideas for the next chapters. Cheers.