HEY, so I admit I haven't been keeping up with Degrassi as much as I'd like to have. In fact, I really haven't been watching much tv at all lately. But recently I watched all of Degrassi (well, seasons 13-the new one on Netflix) and I just felt like I got jipped with all this Clew. I have a lot to say about these things, but I digress. This is not what an authors note is supposed to be.

This fic is just something that I got in my mind after watching Spiderwebs (for like the 14th time). I got really mad at the way things ended. It's basically canon until the end of Sparks Will Fly 2, up until the end. I mention a lot of moments between Spiderwebs and Sparks Will Fly. I just have a lot of feelings.

Disclaimer: It should go without saying that I don't own Degrassi. If I did, Clew would not have been a fucking tease like that. Anyway enjoy this fic.


"Together we're unstoppable, aren't we?"

The words kept repeating. They haunted her in her dreams.

God, did they follow her all around.

It wasn't supposed to be like this. She reminded herself over and over again, this was not how her senior year was supposed to go. She'd beaten cancer. She'd gotten better. She was on student council—granted she wasn't president—but being VP was not as bad as she thought it was going to be.

Clare Edwards was not supposed to feel something for Drew Torres. Clare Edwards was not supposed to fall for Drew Torres. He'd been with her best friend—cheated on her best friend. He was the step-brother of her other best friend. She was happy with Eli. She was, wasn't she?

It was a kiss, in a moment of passion for the two of them. That's all. There was nothing going on between Clare Edwards and Drew Torres. Nothing. Nada. Zippo.

So why was she thinking about that kiss?

Why, when she'd taken back her boyfriend, was she still thinking about Drew Torres?

This wasn't supposed to be what senior year was like.


It continued like this for the longest time. Clare sitting in student council meetings, meetings with Drew, telling herself over and over she had no feelings for him whatsoever. It had been a moment of weakness on both their parts. Drew had been dumped by Bianca—by his fiancée Bianca—and Clare had been confused over her relationship with Eli after finding out she cheated. And to be fair, Clare was still mulling over her relationship with Eli despite the fact she'd taken him back.

At one point Clare Edwards swore that Eli Goldsworthy would do just about anything for her. That he loved her. In fact, she believed him when he'd said they were soul mates. It was one of the reasons she took him back. Time and time again. But, after this time it was hard on Clare. If they were soul mates, like Eli had sworn to her why had he cheated? You weren't supposed to do that to someone let alone the person you claimed you loved.

Maybe that's what started it. Clare hadn't felt the same in her relationship with Eli. Now, with her feelings all bundled up swarming inside she didn't know what to think. Clare wanted to believe Eli because she loved him. She loved him. Didn't she?

Or, did she just feel safe with him?

Eli had been there for every big part of Clare's life for the past years. He'd been the one to help her confront her parents about their pending divorce despite her lack of courage to voice her opinion on the matter. He'd been there when she was assaulted by Asher, whom she had trusted. She'd had no reason not to trust Asher. He'd been there through her bout with cancer. Eli Goldsworthy had been a light at the end of the tunnel for Clare Edwards for just about as long as she'd known him.

But, she couldn't help but remind herself of everything else that had happened over the course of their relationship. For every good thing, there were bad too. He'd gotten into a raging war with Fitz and nearly gotten himself killed—scared Clare to death when she'd seen Fitz with a knife. But she had still believed the good in him, she had still been with him. Eli got obsessive. He wrote Stalker Angel, and if that alone hadn't scared Clare it had been followed closely with his manipulation of getting Clare to visit him in the hospital. He could have died. And he'd been smiling? He wrote that play, that God awful play that he changed over and over again until the final performance when—there wasn't really a performance.

Clare could forgive Eli's mistakes, his obsessive fits. She could, at least she believed she could. Eli hadn't known he was bipolar at the time. Eli had been struggling with his own inner world. But, that hadn't excused his actions.

Drugs. That had been the next chapter of their relationship. Eli's turning to drugs. Granted, he had been triggered by seeing Cam's lifeless body in the greenhouse, but that didn't give him the excuse to turn to drugs. Clare had been there, he could have talked to her. Expressed his feelings. Instead he turned to pot. Pot and MDMA. They had an adverse reaction to his medication for his bipolar disorder.

Eli had done some stupid things over the course of their rollercoaster of a relationship. Cheating, was not something Clare Edwards thought she was going to have to deal with from Eli. Cigarettes, those she could have handled. Those she could have handled and worked with Eli on.

"It was just once."

"I missed you so much. I was miserable."

The problem was, nothing was changing for Clare Edwards. She was in this rut, and could not break free.

Seeing Drew with Zoe had only managed to make things worse. Clare cursed herself for thinking anything—for feeling a pang of jealousy when she'd seen Drew with the girl. She spent the entire day, after seeing the two together, telling herself over and over and over again that it was stupid. Clare, you are not falling for Drew. Clare, you are not going to be with Drew. Clare, you are happy with Eli. Clare, stop thinking about Drew Torres.

Please, just get out of my freaking mind, Drew. Clare would scream in a huff after thinking about Drew for any excessive amount of time.

It was not supposed to be like this.


"No wonder the entire school thinks there's something going on between you two."

"Well…maybe not the entire school. Ninety-Three percent?"

Becky Baker's words had been nothing to encourage Clare Edwards. In fact, they made her think more about Drew Torres. Stupid Drew. Stupid Becky. Stupid Eli. Stupid Clare. Clare felt like everyone was talking about them together. Clare felt like everyone was watching her, and Clare did not like the idea of that. Clare was not with Drew, she was with Eli. Happy with Eli.

That's why the whole "make Drew a dating profile" had sounded like a good thing. Only it backfired. Blew up. Right in Clare's face.

There it was again, that God damned pang of jealousy when she'd seen Drew with Eden. Flirting with Eden.

She thought it was going to be some big reveal that she was Annabella. She really thought he hadn't guessed. Drew Torres wasn't that smart.

Maybe, Clare Edwards was just that….dumb. It was only after the fact that she'd realized, felt stupid even, that Clare had not used a photograph. That had to have been a stupid thing. The other two profiles had pictures. Maybe that was how Drew knew it had been her? Drew Torres did not know Clare Edwards well enough to guess that…right?

"Because Annabella has a boyfriend. If she was single, it would be a completely different story."

Clare felt her heart breaking in that moment. She felt like she was pouring her soul out to Drew. She felt like she was in some damn romance novel—something Nicholas Sparks would write—and she hated that feeling. She was happy with Drew. She felt something for Drew.

Why didn't she feel that way with Eli?

"Guess the ball's in Annabella's court now."

And he left. Like that, Drew had left Clare sitting there wondering what the hell had just happened.

This was not how this year was supposed to be.


She'd been crying on the phone to Eli. Well, to Eli's voicemail. He wasn't there. He didn't answer. It was a struggle to get Eli on the phone these days. It was a struggle to get Eli to video chat with her these days.

Worst of all, it was a struggle to get Clare to feel the same way talking to Eli that she felt talking to Drew.

Clare had played it off for too long. She kept telling herself again and again that she only felt something for Drew because of their situation. He was President, she Vice. They were spending a lot of time together. Drew had been there when she had cancer. They'd gotten through losing Adam. They were running the school.

She kept telling herself she was feeling this way towards Drew because he was there. He was there, and Eli wasn't. If she called, he could be right over. Drew was there when Clare needed someone. That's what she told herself.

But, the more she thought about it—the more she really thought about it—that wasn't it at all. She cursed herself, because while she had been with Eli, she'd fallen in love with Drew Torres.

This wasn't supposed to be her senior year at all.


Alli was surprised—baffled—when Clare didn't seem upset over her break up. Clare had seemed almost happy to be without Eli. She'd even seen the way she struggled to form a coherent sentence when Drew sauntered over to them. Alli knew. Alli was even okay with this. She'd watched as Drew and Clare ran off to the prop storage room, just wondering how long it was going to be before they came out. She told herself, losing Eli had made her friend the happiest she'd seen Clare since before…everything.

"So are you over me? Like truly, end our epic romance over voicemail over me?"

His words hadn't stung Clare the way they might have months ago. She was over being sad. She was over this feeling she had in the pit of her stomach. Was he still with Lenore? Was he being truthful? She didn't like questioning everything about the relationship. She hated it.

She'd meant it when she said Drew wasn't the reason she broke up with Eli. Because, he wasn't. He wasn't the reason. He was a reason. Clare couldn't explain that. She didn't know how to. She'd felt Drew's posture tense when she said that. She could sense he was mad, and she'd only hoped that maybe…just maybe she would get the chance to explain after everything was over. After she explained everything to Eli one final time.

Eli had been furious. Clare had been angry. She was just done.

"Our story ended months ago, Eli."

She meant it. She really meant that. They hadn't been the same. They hadn't been them in months.

This was how it was supposed to be.


Except, when Clare was finally done with Eli she went back to Wild Wild West night to find Drew "I won't be a rebound" Torres walk away from her.

Clare felt her world freeze right then. She watched as Drew walked away from her. She wanted to follow right after him. She really wanted to run after him, to explain. But she didn't. Instead she stayed right there in the middle of the gym looking like a hurt puppy. Looking like someone had kicked her in the stomach when she was already down.

Alli noticed this. Alli walked over to Clare and reached out, touching her friend lightly on the arm. "Clare?" Alli's voice was so soft. It was like a warm blanket. Clare melted, turning around to face her friend. She cried, leaning against Alli's shoulder. Alli didn't know what was going on. All she knew was her friend was upset. Eli had shown up. She couldn't seem to see Drew anywhere. So Alli focused on her friend.

"Do you want to talk?" Alli asked, putting her hand under Clare's chin and making her friend look at her. The girl looked so hurt. Alli just wanted to protect her from everything. Where in the hell had she put that ice cream? Clare just shook her head. "Alright, but you're not going to mope alone. Come on, let's find everyone else. Maybe company will cheer you up."

Clare didn't think anything would "cheer her up" but she nodded and let her friend lead her back over to where Dallas was standing with Jenna and Conner.

Jenna and Conner were wrapped up in their own conversation, but when Alli's heels click-clacked over to them, Jenna's head shot up and she looked at Clare with concern, Jenna excused herself from her conversation and walked the couple of steps over, enveloping Clare in a hug.

"What, sad because your boyfriend came back and you were with Drew?" Dallas spoke, noticing what was going on. He felt like it was his place to defend his friend. "Just because your boyfriend is in New York and you break up with him doesn't give you the right to—"

"Dallas." Alli and Jenna shrieked. Alli gave him the harshest look he'd seen. Dallas shrugged, scratching at the back of his head uncomfortably for a moment. Conner looked over.

"Clare are you crying?" Conner asked, just now noticing the girl before him. She clung to Alli and Jenna. Conner didn't know what was going on. He looked at Dallas, confused. "Why is she crying?"

"Because she had sex with Drew and then Eli showed up." Dallas spoke, turning his attention back to Clare next. "You know, just because you're upset over Eli doesn't mean you can use Drew."

"Use Drew? Is that what he thinks? Is that what you think? Use him? What do you mean use him?" Clare's crying had stopped. Her voice was weak, frantic but weak. Dallas looked at her for a minute.

"As a rebound." Dallas responded. It seemed so casual. It seemed like the truth. It was what he thought, he'd told Drew. A fleeting thought came into his mind, he'd never seen someone that upset over rebound sex.

"A rebound?" Clare's voice was dubious. She let go of Alli and Jenna and stepped toward Dallas. She pushed her hand against his chest. "Is that what he thinks? Is that what you think? A rebound?"

Dallas opened his mouth to speak, then closed it again. He had to admit, Clare was looking rather hurt for just a rebound. He turned his attention to Alli, eyes pleading for some help. He got back daggers in her eyes and crossed arms. Turning to look at Clare, Dallas let out a sigh. He was going to regret this, wasn't he? "That's what I told him." He sort of mumbled, sheepishly looking at Clare's face.

Clare just stood there for a moment. Dallas told Drew she thought he was a rebound? Drew listened?

"Dallas!" Alli groaned, her face in her hands and she gently nudged Clare out of the way. She knew what Dallas had said was stupid, but still she didn't want Clare to hurt him. "Clare would not have rebound sex. Clare is not the type to have rebound sex."

"I mean, sure she overreacts to thinks. She's been known to act stupidly on occasion." Jenna spoke up, Clare in her arms once more. Alli whipped her head around and looked at Jenna. "Right, not helping." Jenna returned her focus to Clare who was looking at Dallas with the biggest blue eyes filled with tears.

"Clare would not have rebound sex." Alli poked Dallas with enough force to make him move back a step and look at the girl. "What the hell did you tell Drew that for?"

Dallas opened his mouth to speak before Clare spoke up instead. "Does he hate me?" Her voice was so small, everyone turned to look at her.

Dallas shook his head. He didn't know what to say.

Alli, however, was on a whole other page. She looked at Dallas. "You. You. Ugh. You are going to fix this."

"How?" Dallas asked.


Drew was home. He walked all the way home from Degrassi. It wasn't that far of a walk, actually. He didn't know what else to do, Dallas had the keys and he was going to be taking Jenna and Alli home. Drew couldn't take the car and leave them stranded. He'd been home for a while, just walking around the house. He hadn't even changed. He just paced around the basement. Repeating over and over in his mind what Clare had told Eli. How he wasn't the reason Clare and Eli had broken up. Drew was furious.

Drew was heartbroken.

When Dallas found him, it made sense. Maybe he was a rebound. It hurt, but maybe that's how Clare saw it.

Drew hadn't paid attention to how long it had been when he heard his phone ringing. It was Dallas. Drew didn't hesitate to answer.

"Hello." Drew grumbled, anger bubbling and coming through in his voice.

"Man—something happened. I don't know what happened but the speaker just…It's a mess. The whole thing is a mess. You ordered the stuff, I don't know what to do. Can you get back here?" Dallas was talking fast. Drew thought it was uncharacteristic of him. But maybe it was just that something happened at the Wild Wild West show. Drew had no idea it was part of a bigger plan.

Drew nodded, but Dallas couldn't see that, "Yeah, I'll be right back." Drew looked at the clock. He ran back upstairs, called he had to take his fathers car and would be back soon.


Dallas hung up the phone and looked at Alli. "Now what?"

The dance was dying down. It wasn't even a dance. Whatever it was, people were leaving. The room was almost empty except for a few stragglers, plus Conner, Jenna, Alli, Clare and Dallas.

Alli shrugged, "Just get Drew to the student council office." She pat Dallas' cheek and pressed a quick kiss to his other cheek before grabbing Clare's hand and walking her back to the council office.

It was twenty minutes before Drew got back to Degrassi, and Dallas told him the messed up equipment was in the student council office. That Drew needed to look at it before he could do anything. Drew walked back and Dallas and the others left while he was gone.

Drew opened the door to the student council office and looked around spotting Clare sitting on the sofa. "There's no sound equipment in here." Drew mumbled. He'd been set up. He turned to walk away when he felt Clare's hand on his.

Drew stopped in his tracks. He didn't turn around. He couldn't look at her. But, he didn't want to thrash his hand from her grasp either.

"Drew." Clare spoke softly, tugging on his hand and trying to get him to turn around and look at her.

"Haven't you done enough? Go back to Eli. You made that clear earlier." Drew spoke, hurt deep in his voice. He barely turned his head to look at Clare. His eyes were downcast at their hands that were together.

"You're not a rebound." Clare said, stepping in front of Drew taking her hand from his. She put her hands on his chest and looked up at him. "I know that's what Dallas told you, but it's not true. Drew, you're not a rebound. Look at me." He still hadn't moved his gaze. "Please. Drew." Clare's voice sounded so hurt.

Drew took in a deep breath, Clare's hands moved with his chest. He still didn't look at her. "You told him I wasn't the reason you broke up." He still sounded hurt. But less angry than when he'd spoken a second ago. "You said I had nothing to do with your break up. What does that make me? What am I supposed to think?"

Clare bit at her bottom lip. "You didn't hear the rest of that conversation, Drew."

"Well?"

"Drew please look at me." Clare begged, her voice wavering. Drew granted her this, finally looking at her eyes. He looked just as broken as she felt. "You weren't the reason I broke up with Eli." Clare fumbled on her words before taking a deep breath and letting her hands trail down Drew's arms to find his hands. He hadn't taken his eyes off hers since he looked at her. He waited. He was getting impatient. "Eli and I were broken. We weren't working. It was a long time coming. It wasn't you. It started back with Asher, before the cancer. Before everything. It was just. It was a mess. It wasn't you." Clare paused, biting her lip again and looking down at her hands before looking back up at Drew. "Not completely."

So much was working through Drew's brain right then, there was so much information to go through his mind. But his ears perked up at her last words and he repeated them, "Not completely?"

Clare nodded, "I'm not going to say that you had nothing to do with my break up. Because I'd be lying. But you weren't the reason. Eli and I were over for a long time. We just…I don't think either of us wanted to admit that we were finished. And then we kissed. But you and Bianca had just and Eli and I were still kind of… It just wasn't right. But then I couldn't stop thinking about everything. I couldn't stop thinking about you." Clare admitted, looking up at Drew with a small smile. A cautious smile. He smiled back, but didn't say anything. He didn't think she was done talking yet. He was right. "Then Eli went back to New York and nothing felt the same. I couldn't stop thinking about that kiss and I just kept telling myself that it was because you were here. But it wasn't. It isn't just because you're here, Drew. I realized something since we kissed. Since we made love. I love you."

Drew looked at Clare, "You love me?" He cocked an eyebrow at the girl. Waiting for a response.

"Does that sound crazy?" Clare took a step back and looked at Drew, nodding her head before he could answer her question. "Of course that sounds crazy, I mean we haven't even been on a date. But I know you. I really, really, know you. I mean, I didn't think this would ever happen. You're Adam's older brother. We have nothing in common. Absolutely nothing in common. But here I am and here you are. I know it sounds crazy, but I think I'm in love with you, Drew. Really, really in love with you. I know it's crazy and I know it probably sounds stupid, I mean we haven't been on a date and—"

Drew stepped forward and put a finger to Clare's lips. "Will you stop talking now?" Drew asked, a smile tugging at his lips. Clare nodded. Drew took his hand away from her mouth and smiled brighter. "Can I say something now?" Clare nodded again, looking at Drew expectantly. "We had sex. You and me, up there in the prop room. I don't know what I would have done without you these past couple of months Clare. I'm so sorry I hurt you tonight by listening to Dallas. I feel stupid. I never should have walked out." Drew paused and it was long enough for Clare to think he was done so she opened up her mouth to answer him. "I'm not done. I don't know if I love you, but has the thought crossed my mind? Yeah. I think we need to go out on a date first, before I say anything."

"Alright, we'll go on a date. We've got a whole break to go on dates." Clare smiled before leaning forward and pressing her lips to Drew's in a soft kiss.


Don't take this as my "hey I'm writing fic again" post. It's not. I'm not writing again. I just had a lot of feelings and I needed to get them out there so I wrote this. And now it's 1:30 in the morning and I have class in roughly 12 hours. And really that's it. I hope you enjoyed this fic.