Pepsi, Choco Bars & Coco Puffs!: The Hiei Story
Fanfic By: Mikka-chan
Disclaimer: No... sadly I do not own YYH... some guy does. I don't know who but really, who cares?
..... Exactly.
Warning: You... yes you reading this are about to witness a bunch of crap written by me, Mikka-chan. This my cause slight confusion and insaneness-ness-ness. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
Pepsi, Choco Bars & Coco Puffs!: The Hiei Story
There are only 3 things in the whole universe that can make Hiei crazy and out OOC....
1.)Anything sweet
2.)Alcohol
3.)Wild crazy love-makin' with his sex buddy, Kurama
But now, I have found have figured out what could make anyone loose it, even the most calmest person in the world. This story I'm about to tell you was suppose to be hidden away in the deepest, darkest, hairiest, nastiest corner of Koenma's office... (so no one would want to touch it of course silly!!) from people like yourselves. Yes, you. Just looking at it might blow your head off!! BLAHAHAHAHAHA! cough ..... ahem... This story lead me to do horrifying things just to get it... I'm still having nightmares from that night... shakes wildly. BUT ANYWAYS... lets not go into that. Gets back into serious mode . Anyway, there's one other thing that can make our beloved, short, fire demon go coo-coo coco puffs.
After a long day of demon fighting and yelling at Kuwabara about how dumb he is, Hiei decided to pay a visit to his favorite fox demon's place. He crazily finds Kurama in the arms of his arch nemesis, Karasu!
How did this happen? Isn't this sexy bastard dead? Sadly, I can't explain this until we get to the next shocking part. After witnessing this insane act, surprisingly, Hiei runs away. Why is he running? Why didn't he break that meanie head Karasu in half? Maybe... Hiei is just a big baby. Who knows really? Anyway, Hiei, humiliated and heartbroken runs as fast as he can to Yusuke's house but instead falls into a giant bowl of coco puffs, chocolate bars and Pepsi. Where did this concoction come from? Why was it laying out in the street like that?! I mean really, people can at least pick up their giant bowls of coco puffs, chocolate bars and pepsi. Is there no more love for the world? Jeez... But anyways, Hiei trips, falls into the big bowl, and comes out sticky and somehow coco for those damn coco puffs. With soda and chocolate dripping from his face and bare body (don't ask me how his shirt came off...) he goes into a coco craze. How could Hiei, the guy with the cool dragon attack thingies, let his guard down like this?
There's two things every YYH fan should know about Hiei:
1.) He's actually half Koorime, which is a female demon race (this should explain his gorgeous waist shape and random moods)
2.) Women LOVE chocolate (or in this case, anything sweet) and caffeine (this explains hiei's love for his 'sweet snow'.)
This little list should explain a lot to you people. But how could this all make our fire demon go this insane? Let me explain:
Yes, the coco puffs and chocolate takes most of the responsibility (go back to fact #2) but, when you mix Pepsi into everything, this causes the caffeine from the chocolate to collide with not only the delicious soft drink, but the crunchy delectable cereal. This concoction can not only make Yusuke's mom a worse parent than she already is, but can even make Kuwabara even more of an idiot that he already is. Crazy, yes?
The chocolate and soda isn't the only component that played a role into making our Hiei coo-coo crazy, but, his own body cursed him. Yes, he's a fire demon, and the heat from his body caused the Pepsi to become, of course, warm. Everyone knows hot soda and chocolate just isn't the right snack to eat at night.
Yes, the evil concoction made stable, but a little rugged Hiei go ballistic. That night, Hiei ran right back to his favorite fox's house, considered a threesome, and made Kurama's secret dreams come true. And boy, were those dreams ur, creative (I'll leave you all to picture THAT in your little sick minds). But of course, Hiei woke up the next morning to find himself covered in... well something wet, a squeezed out Karasu, and a happy fox mumbling "I'm the bad little fox demon". Knowing Hiei, he might have instantly killed our beautiful demon with his flaming fist attack (hence the wild night he had last night), or just threatened to messed up his beautiful hair. We really don't know but whatever he did made him cower back to where ever he came from... that weenier. Furious, he screwed Kurama twice as hard (ouch.) knocking him out cold hard and I do mean COLD HARD. After a few hours, Hiei wakes up again, still trying to figure out how in the world could he ever think about screwing that drag queen. Still trying to forget all that happened that glorious night (for Kurama at least), Hiei succeeded to beat Kurama up for agreeing with the whole thing and left, a little proud about everything. That night Hiei was greeted with a tall 12 oz. Bottle of Pepsi and a box of chocolates on Kurama's front porch. You might ask, "How did Kurama know about Hiei's embarrassing fall?" Well people, I'm not going to answer that one at the moment. Why? Because I'm tired of writing and I want a snack!
Just remember people, Fire Demons with secret, raging female hormones, coco puffs, chocolate bars, and Pepsi... don't try it. Not unless you want to spend your night banging a horny fox demon.
Author's Note: Wow, I'm done. If you liked it please review. If you didn't well SCREW YOU! But please review too .