A/N: Don't ask, because I don't even know. Slight promo spoilers. Title taken from Leonard Cohen's song of the same name.
**
Bart Bass' will is read on a Monday. Chuck sits in the lawyer's office across from his uncle as he is bequeathed the majority shares of Bass Industries, and all of a sudden, his tie is tied too tight and he can't get enough air. Blair is there because he asked her to be, but he can't seem to look her in the face as he hastily excuses himself from the room.
He bursts through the doors into the cold January morning, trying and failing to calm himself because this is just another entry in the long list of things he isn't ready for; just one more thing he won't be able to get right.
Blair is right on his heels, of course, calling his name. He's not sure why he asked her here, so he turns to her and gives her a poisonous look because she's Item #1 on that list of things that he's not good enough for. She stops in her tracks.
"I should have known he'd do something like this," he spits.
"What are you talking about?"
"Can't you see? He's setting me up to fail from beyond the grave."
"Chuck," she whispers, and there's a trace of pity in her tone that he can't stand.
He turns away from her before she can say anything more. "I think Jack can fill me in on the rest. I'll see you around."
This time, she doesn't follow him.
**
He's drunk again at the Palace bar when she finds him. She orders a martini and takes two or three sips in the time it takes him to gulp down another double. When she finally speaks, her voice sounds tired. "You promised."
He signals the bartender for another. "I only promised not to jump off ledges."
"There's more than one kind of ledge," she says, sliding off her stool and placing her hands on either side of him. "Come on, Chuck."
"I didn't realize you signed up to be my babysitter," he scoffs. But he slides off the seat without putting up much of a fight and lets her lead him to the elevator.
"If that's the part you wrote for me, then that's the part I'll play."
**
She doesn't turn any lights on as she leads him into 1812 and deposits him on the edge of his bed. He just sits there and stares at her as she takes his shoes off. When that's done, she sits beside him and helps him with his suit jacket. The tie comes off next. She makes a move to get up, but he stops her with an arm across her lap and leans into her, his face pressed against her neck. "Aren't you going to take off my pants?" he says into her skin.
Her voice is low and shaky. "I think you can handle those on your own."
He nuzzles his nose against her throat in response, breathing in her perfume and making him feel lightheaded. He leaves a trail of kisses up the length of her neck and behind her ear. She pulls away from him slightly and breathes his name in a warning tone. "Chuck…"
His lips follow her as he leans further into her. He angles his body towards her and reaches a hand to palm her breast through the silk of her blouse. "Please," he whispers in her ear. He kisses his way across her cheek.
"Please," he rasps again, this time against her lips, and it's desperate and pleading and broken; everything that he is at this moment. He kisses her, searching, as his hand continues to tease her. She kisses him back.
**
He doesn't feel like he's home, truly home, until he pushes into her slick, tight heat.
It's been so long since he's been inside her and she's almost too hot and too tight to bear, and he's not prepared for the weird pangs in his chest, like a pair of hands pushing against him from the inside, making a lump rise in his throat. He's still for a few moments while he chokes it down. A groan escapes his lips instead.
He hears her sigh his name, her slim fingers skimming the length of his back, and he finally slides out and slips back in. He buries his face in the crook of her neck and tries to keep a moderate pace, but she's whimpering in his ear and writhing underneath him, and she feels so good wrapped around him that he drives into her a little harder, a little faster. He lifts his head to look at her perfect face and when she meets his eyes, he feels a twist in his chest again. He wants to hear the words, wants them to cleanse him. "Say it," he murmurs.
Her eyes widen almost imperceptibly, but her slightly parted lips only form one word, not three. "No."
"Say it," he asks again, increasing the forward snap of his hips.
"No," she gasps.
He slams into her as he pleads once more. "Say it."
Her knees are grasping at his ribcage so forcefully he's sure they will leave bruises, and her fingernails are tearing into his back, but she bites her lip and shakes her head and doesn't say a word.
He feels her start to clench around him, trying to pull him in deeper. She feels tighter now, slicker, and he complies by pounding harder and faster.
"Please."
Her body jerks and she arcs into him as she comes, panting his name. Another thrust and he comes apart inside her, her name falling from his lips into her kiss.
**
He wakes up in the middle of the night to fingers threading through his hair. He lifts his head from where it's been resting on her naked stomach. "Blair?"
She takes a shuddering breath and whispers, "Go back to sleep."
He hears the tears she's trying to cover up in her voice and he feels the pangs again, those hands pushing against his chest from the inside. The same lump rises in his throat, but he doesn't swallow it down this time. He presses his face to her stomach and kisses the creamy skin there. "Do you know," he says, fingertips ghosting across her belly button, "that you're everything?"
Her fingertips hesitate for a split second before continuing their ministrations in his hair. His head rises and falls sharply with her sigh. "I know."
There is silence for a few minutes save for the sound of their breathing.
"I do, you know," he says, and now it's his turn to sigh. "Just…I do."
She doesn't say anything and he thinks maybe she's fallen asleep. When she replies, her voice is almost peaceful. "I know."
He presses his lips to her stomach again.
**
She's gone when he wakes up the next morning, but there's a golden heart pinned on his pillow.