"You insolent prat in all of my years teaching I have never seen such pure foolishness!"
Those were the first words he had ever spoken to me. I had been in his class for five years and that was the first recognition I had ever earned. Figures, it had to be when I knocked over a row of empty cauldrons. Sending them flying to the floor, in a deafening shatter. And it isn't like he didn't repair them afterwards, anyways. He shouldn't have been so mad. But then again, he *had* spoken directly to me. And that's all I ever wanted. Since third year that is.
None of my classmates like him. I truly can see why. But I just ignore it. I still fancy him.
To put it bluntly, he looks dirty. His hair is horrid. Oily, dingy, too slick for him to be a man of trustworthiness.
Countless nights have I laid in bed, listening to the girlish laughter and feebleminded talk of my roommates.
"I bet he's an old stiff!" Sophia says.
It's clockwork. A few squeals of school girl giddiness and the next comment comes.
"Well, I know for a fact that he's a vampire!" says June, with a pause, for dramatic affect, I suppose. One of the girls lets out a snort of disbelief. "No, honestly, why do you think he is so pale and freaky looking?"
They all giggle in unison at the thought. Snape sleeping in a coffin had it's obscene play with my imagination. I admit, I don't mind listening to my roommates babbling. Listen now, deny it later. That's my philosophy. Like I want those Mary Sues' to know I sometimes (just sometimes) take a slight (very slight) interest in what they say.
When the theories about Snapes' vampirism trail off, then the insults come. I always hate hearing them. He isn't perfect. And living with these girls long enough, I've developed tonnes of insults to throw their way. I wish I had the nerves to say them aloud. One of these days, when I go crazy, I'll say them. I'll throw chairs across the room and insult everyone of these girls into oblivion.
"Whenever I see him, I just want to aim a good 'scourgify' at his hair!" Sophia chimes in.
Well, Sophia. Whenever I hear your voice I want to rip out your voice box!
And June says, "When I see him I just want to feed him! He's sooo thin, sickeningly really..."
You *would* want to feed him. When I see you at dinner I just want to rip those pastries out of your hands...Too bad I'm not saying this aloud. It'd break the typicality quite nicely. A good fight. That's what this dorm needs.
"Remember when we were in first year? That Granger girl?" asked Leila. She's the least annoying one of the bunch.
"Oh yeah! Her and Snape had a fling!" pipes in Hilencia, for the first time.
The room erupted into a collective "EW!" Aside from me of course. The whole Granger, Snape thing, was complete rubbish. No matter what everyone said.
Hilencia continued, "A relationship with a teacher? Especially Snape! Ugh! Kill me now!"
It'd be my pleasure.
"It probably wasn't gross to her. Being with Snape I mean." Leila says. "She did get involved with him willingly."
Leila, I always knew you were a sensible girl.
"But think about it. What kind of oddball would want to be involved in *any* kind of relationship with Snape?" asks June to the other girls.
The room is silent at that question. I know what they're thinking and they know I'm still awake.
"Bernadette would!" It seems the whole world just shouted that.
I saw that coming. I guess I have to actually speak up, now.
"I wouldn't!" I laugh at myself and my weak defense. Suddenly the shadows on my bed curtains become very interesting and I think about opening them. Just to you know, get some fresh air. Not to better talk to my childish roommates or anything...
"You would! It's so obvious Bern. You love him!"
Squeal. How I hate that sound. All of them Squeal. Except Leila, she isn't so obnoxious she has to squeal. The other three are though. Squealing, because June said I love Snape. Outrageous.
"So that's what you were staring at today during Potions. Dreamily gazing at your dearest Snapey!"
"I wasn't!" Indignation in my voice. "I was staring at his new robes!"
Time to smack myself. That makes me sound even more pathetic. They're all laughing at me now.
"That's *still* staring at *him*," says June.
"Oy Shut it already!" I say loudly. And they know I'm annoyed.
The room pipes down. Discussion closed or at least for me. And I hear them trying to be swift and whisper as not to let me hear. But I can, and don't really care anymore. It's late and I'm going to sleep. And I'll dream about Snape. Snape in a silk covered bed with nothing on but a smile and his dignity. Snape and me married. Now that's what I call sweet dreams.