Evil Hill (A parody by yours truly)
Written by the devoted gamers and staff of www.evil-online.com
Produced in honor of them by OutlawZero2002
Dear Writers and Fellow Gamers,
Before I begin, I would like to point out that I am looking for the original authors of this great fanfiction. If anyone has heard of www.evil-online.com, I would like him/her to respond immediately because I want to find and meet those great people who came up with this masterpiece. This is a great story by any measure, and I do expect people to respond to it. Now let us begin with the first chapter of this magnificent fanfic...
P.S.-For a great parody fanfic, also read "Scary Video Game".
Evil Hill (A parody by yours truly)
Chapter I, Part I
Harry shook his head and sleepily stumbled out the car. The last images in his head were a mish-mash of conflicting scenes...but he could clearly remember something about a thirteen inch kilbasa...
He drunkenly closed the door of his smashed automobile, taking in his surroundings, in particular the thick fog permeating everything. His eyes slowly came into focus and he could see something in distance. The man in the yellow west looked at Harry with fear filled eyes.
"He's coming to get us...he's after STARS members."
Harry stared blankly and looked at the man.
"Have you...seen...a...kilbasa? It's a...sausage...reddish...about thirteen inches long..."
"WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!" The man screamed, running off into the mist before Harry could question him further.
Harry shrugged and walked off in search of a restaurant; he really needed to talk to a man about a horse. Building after building greeted him with doors that were painted on and knobs that didn't work. After blindly wandering the mist-enshrouded streets for twenty minutes, Mr. Mason found a gate that finally opened.
"An...alley...well...any...port...in...a storm," Harry muttered to no one in particular.
As he moved through the alley, Harry had a disturbing notion that someone was watching him, as if from above. He kept moving to avoid the invisible voyeur even as the sky darkened.
At last he found a quiet corner and began relieving himself.
"STARS"
Harry whipped around and looked for the source of the noise. The creature looked at it's now wet feet and then at Harry with pure hatred streaming from it's good eye.
"I say, chap, that's just right off. Here," It chimed, "Would you life your chin so?"
The creature titled Harry's chin upward with two fingers; it's other hand balled into a fist.
"Have you...seen...a...kilbasa? It's a...sausage...reddish...ab -"
Harry's world went black.
****
Claire stared at the unconscious man on the diner bench. He looked to be in his thirties with a "sticky" note attached to the cotch of his jeans. Claire gingerly picked it up and looked over it.
"If you ever do that again, I'll rip it off," she read. She looked down and realized the man was awake.
"AH! OOOH! OH NOOOO! eh, Hey there," she started, "Do you know how you go here?"
"Uhh...my...head"
"Yeah, it looks like someone AH! OOOH! OH NOOOO! got you good. My name's Claire, I'm looking for my brother Chris. What's your name?"
"Harry...Harry...Mason...have you seen a kilbasa? It's a...sausage...reddish...about thirteen inches long."
"Uhm," Claire stuttered, trying to suppress a laugh, "No. Are you the only other survivor AH OH NO! NO! in this place?"
As if almost in answer, the door pulled open and a blonde female officer walked in. She crossed her arms and smiled.
"Okay, which one of you pulled the 311" she asked.
"Public indecency?" Claire asked.
"Yeah, we've got a very pissed Neme-" the policewoman's eyes glazed over, "...waitaminute...ehh, I...woke...up and everything...was like this."
The door opened yet again and another officer walked in, this one looking like Leonardo DiCaprio.
"Claire you made it!" he exclaimed.
"SHERRY! SHERRY! Who are you?" Claire replied.
"Have you...seen a...kilbasa..." Harry started.
------------------
That's 10% of Chapter I done. I will produce a new chapter every 2 days, I promise. Hopefully, you liked this, 'cause it's gonna get better...much...better. Well, I'm signing off for now but I'll be back soon enough to read your reviews. See ya.
Written by the devoted gamers and staff of www.evil-online.com
Produced in honor of them by OutlawZero2002
Dear Writers and Fellow Gamers,
Before I begin, I would like to point out that I am looking for the original authors of this great fanfiction. If anyone has heard of www.evil-online.com, I would like him/her to respond immediately because I want to find and meet those great people who came up with this masterpiece. This is a great story by any measure, and I do expect people to respond to it. Now let us begin with the first chapter of this magnificent fanfic...
P.S.-For a great parody fanfic, also read "Scary Video Game".
Evil Hill (A parody by yours truly)
Chapter I, Part I
Harry shook his head and sleepily stumbled out the car. The last images in his head were a mish-mash of conflicting scenes...but he could clearly remember something about a thirteen inch kilbasa...
He drunkenly closed the door of his smashed automobile, taking in his surroundings, in particular the thick fog permeating everything. His eyes slowly came into focus and he could see something in distance. The man in the yellow west looked at Harry with fear filled eyes.
"He's coming to get us...he's after STARS members."
Harry stared blankly and looked at the man.
"Have you...seen...a...kilbasa? It's a...sausage...reddish...about thirteen inches long..."
"WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!" The man screamed, running off into the mist before Harry could question him further.
Harry shrugged and walked off in search of a restaurant; he really needed to talk to a man about a horse. Building after building greeted him with doors that were painted on and knobs that didn't work. After blindly wandering the mist-enshrouded streets for twenty minutes, Mr. Mason found a gate that finally opened.
"An...alley...well...any...port...in...a storm," Harry muttered to no one in particular.
As he moved through the alley, Harry had a disturbing notion that someone was watching him, as if from above. He kept moving to avoid the invisible voyeur even as the sky darkened.
At last he found a quiet corner and began relieving himself.
"STARS"
Harry whipped around and looked for the source of the noise. The creature looked at it's now wet feet and then at Harry with pure hatred streaming from it's good eye.
"I say, chap, that's just right off. Here," It chimed, "Would you life your chin so?"
The creature titled Harry's chin upward with two fingers; it's other hand balled into a fist.
"Have you...seen...a...kilbasa? It's a...sausage...reddish...ab -"
Harry's world went black.
****
Claire stared at the unconscious man on the diner bench. He looked to be in his thirties with a "sticky" note attached to the cotch of his jeans. Claire gingerly picked it up and looked over it.
"If you ever do that again, I'll rip it off," she read. She looked down and realized the man was awake.
"AH! OOOH! OH NOOOO! eh, Hey there," she started, "Do you know how you go here?"
"Uhh...my...head"
"Yeah, it looks like someone AH! OOOH! OH NOOOO! got you good. My name's Claire, I'm looking for my brother Chris. What's your name?"
"Harry...Harry...Mason...have you seen a kilbasa? It's a...sausage...reddish...about thirteen inches long."
"Uhm," Claire stuttered, trying to suppress a laugh, "No. Are you the only other survivor AH OH NO! NO! in this place?"
As if almost in answer, the door pulled open and a blonde female officer walked in. She crossed her arms and smiled.
"Okay, which one of you pulled the 311" she asked.
"Public indecency?" Claire asked.
"Yeah, we've got a very pissed Neme-" the policewoman's eyes glazed over, "...waitaminute...ehh, I...woke...up and everything...was like this."
The door opened yet again and another officer walked in, this one looking like Leonardo DiCaprio.
"Claire you made it!" he exclaimed.
"SHERRY! SHERRY! Who are you?" Claire replied.
"Have you...seen a...kilbasa..." Harry started.
------------------
That's 10% of Chapter I done. I will produce a new chapter every 2 days, I promise. Hopefully, you liked this, 'cause it's gonna get better...much...better. Well, I'm signing off for now but I'll be back soon enough to read your reviews. See ya.